Yoko's Purin Interrogation
Pairing Group: Kanjani8 + Uchi
Genre: Crack
Rating: G
Summary: Somebody's eaten Yoko's purin...uh-oh.
Yoko's Purin Interrogation
Yoko wanted his purin. No. He didn't want his purin - he needed it.
He roughly pushed Ohkura out of his way, stomached-in past Hina, power-walked past Subaru, slapped Maru's back and, again, pushed Yasuda so hard that he almost fell off the stage. Yoko then sprinted past Dokkun, who usually was the first out of the door when filming was over, and before he knew it he was in the lead of the unofficial race to the dressing room.
Yoko was minutes away from tasted victory. He licked his lips in excitement. All day. All day he had been waiting for that moment. Every particle in his being was tingling in joy and ecstasy. Yes.
He deserved it.
After all, Yoko had taken charge of the talk session with their sempais since the others hadn't bothered to utter a single word. Yoko wasn't kidding when he had mentioned that Ohkura was merely Kanjani8's ornament. All Hotel-kun did was sit there and look pretty. Yoko didn't get how such a boring person was one of the more popular ones in their group. Then again, Yoko couldn't take all the credit. Gorilla-kun always would loudly speak in his rough Kansai-ben, tsukkoming and yelling 'nandeyanen'.
All that mattered now was that Yoko got his precious purin. It was for health purposes too. His throat was parched from chattering for so many hours so purin was the only solution. Not water. Not any other drink - purin. It always resulted in his beloved purin. Yoko could feel his heart pulsating, not from rushing to the dressing room, but from the adrenaline that he would now finally get to eat his purin! The thought of purin oozing and sliding down his throat made his insides flutter.
The refrigerator was within reach.
He grasped the side of the door. Yoko looked down and saw that his hand was shaking. It was now or never. With all the strength he could muster, he pulled the refrigerator door open and there in front of him was...
NOTHING?
Yoko blinked. No. That couldn't be right. He was delirious. He blinked again. Nothing appeared in front of him. This had to be a joke. Yoko stepped closer to the refrigerator, inspecting every shelf for any sign of the dessert but he couldn't see anything. It was empty.
He spun around, glaring at each member that filed into the dressing room. Hina went straight for the newspaper, flipping to the sports section. Dokkun collapsed onto the sofa, selfishly taking up all the space as he lifted his legs onto it and laid there fiddling with what appeared to be a Rubik's Cube. Yasuda skipped inside, taking his guitar from the stand and immediately beginning to strum a chord. Subaru and Maru-chan came waltzing in, arms linked together and laughing at something that Yoko didn't really care about.
At that moment, Yoko wanted to find the traitor, the nemesis, the evil doer, the spawn of Satan who had devoured his purin.
"Yokocho, what's wrong?" Maru questioned, catching Yoko's glare while everyone had failed to. Maru-chan unlinked his arm from Subaru and approached him.
Yoko growled, "Stay away!"
Yasuda gazed up from his guitar, tone full of concern as he commented, "You're pale, Yoko."
"Paler than usual," Subaru remarked, mouth twitching into a smirk. He was about to add another remark in, but Yoko loomed over him with his hands on his hips. "Eh?"
"It was you, wasn't it?"
"M-me?" Subaru stuttered, confused. "What are you talking about?"
"I see that smirk!" Yoko barked. He pointed an accusing shaking finger at the smaller person under him. "YOU. ATE. MY. PURIN!"
That had caught everybody's attention.
Yasuda had stopped strumming, Hina's newspaper had fallen onto the ground and Dokkun immediately sat up to witness hell break loose. Maru stepped between Subaru and Yoko, but even he had a scared face as he stared at Yoko. Instead of going redder, Yoko's face was turning pale from the anger that surely had enough force for him to self-combust.
"It's not me. I don't like mixing purin with my tablet supplements," Subaru said. "Really."
Yoko ran his fingers through his jet-black hair. "I'm giving you all one second for the person who did this horrible thing to come out...or else I'll-"
Unfortunately, that was when Ohkura chose to walk in. He had a lazy smile plastered on his face as he gave a massive stretch and sighed, "That tasted sooo good."
"Baka," Dokkun insulted.
Yoko instantly leaped over the table and lunged onto Ohkura, knocking him onto the ground. "Itai! Yoko, I just ate. Be more considerate, will you?"
"Spit it out! Spit it out!" Yoko howled, lashing out on the youngest member. "Give me back my purin! I demand you to give back my purin!"
"No-no-no!" Ohkura gasped, "Staff-san prepared rice and tempura for us! You can see for yourselagkkfl-"
Yoko yanked Ohkura's mouth open and took a whiff and by just that action Yoko could tell that Ohkura had been telling the truth. Yoko closed his mouth and Ohkura scurried away to a corner, feeling violated at what Yoko had done.
Rubbing his hands together, Yoko stood up and looked at each member suspiciously. "Didn't we have that rule? Whoever writes their name on their food, that belongs to them...does that sound familiar?" He questioned, grabbing Maru by the collar, "HUH?"
Maru pouted, frowning. "I didn't eat it. Manager-san said that I should go on a diet."
Yoko observed Maru. Yoko usually could tell when Maru was lying, but there wasn't a single twitch in his facial expression. Maru-chan was no longer a suspect in Yoko's list. He let Maru go and turned to Yasu who immediately shook his head at Yoko's accusation leer. Yasu spoke the truth most of the time, but Yoko wasn't too sure since he was lately going through a delinquent stage. Even Yasu's father had interrogated him about Yasu's sudden delinquency. Nevertheless, Yoko decided that he'd ask the more likely suspects first.
Hina and Dokkun.
Last time somebody had eaten his purin, Yoko was pretty sure that it had been Hina because Hina was stubborn when it came to these things. Hina never admitted to his mistakes - even when he knew that he was wrong.
Yoko advanced towards Gorilla-kun, and gulped when he saw his biceps bulge, but bravely continued his interrogation. "Hina, did you eat my purin?"
"Nandeyanen?" Hina picked up the newspaper from the ground and hit him on the head.
"Ita!"
Yoko rubbed his head. He needed to think up another strategy to get Hina to tell the truth. He had to also avoid Hina's tsukkomis. They were painful. Hina packed quite a hit.
It then struck him. Maybe Yoko could kiss him. It wouldn't hurt since they had exchanged kisses various times and - okay, so perhaps Yoko could save the kiss for last.
That left Dokkun.
"Chonmage! You ate it. Don't lie! Don't lie to your movie!"
"I can make better purin than that cheap one you bought," Dokkun replied in a heart beat. Always full of snide remarks was the infamous Nishikido Ryo.
Subaru howled in laughter but automatically shut up when Yoko glared at him again.
When Yoko was just about to do another round of interrogating, somebody knocked on the door. A head stuck out from behind the door and before Yoko knew it, he didn't have the situation under control. Everybody's attention shifted to someone else...
"UCHI!" Dokkun exclaimed, running up to the ex-member and enveloping him in a tight embrace. "Why are you here?"
The other members crowded around Dokkun and Uchi and began speaking above each other. "How are you?" "Yoko's a baka." "Do you miss us?" "Come over after work!" "Let's go for a drink." "Don't! Hina might kiss you!" "OI!" "Stop tsukkoming me!"
"Aren't you forgetting something?" Yoko hissed, angrily. How could they betray him like this? Someone had stolen and eaten HIS purin and no one cared? No one cared that there was a thief amongst them - there was an untrustworthy person - a disgrace to human nature?
What was wrong with the world?
He folded his arms and watched them ignore his problem and pay attention to Uchi. Yoko would have joined in with them if he was in a good mood, but right then all he felt was betrayal and hurt.
"Hi Yoko! I came in earlier because I saw that you'd be filming at the same studio. How are you?" Uchi grinned, giving Yoko a hug.
And like that, Yoko wasn't mad anymore. Uchi. No one could ever be angry at someone like Uchi. Yoko missed him like everybody else did. The feeling of anger died away and before they knew it, all of the Kanjani8 members were seeing off Uchi as he left their dressing room.
But that was when Yoko found out the bandit.
"Hope to catch you guys another time." Nonchalantly, Uchi waved and just as he walked off he said to them, "The purin tasted good."
~~~~~~~~
(a/n) How'd you like it? It's my first JE fanfiction. I haven't really written anything for almost a year so I thought I'd try writing a one-shot. There are still bits that need to be fixed & proofread, but I'll save that tomorrow. It's almost 3am. Crack is not healthy xD
Thanks for reading! :)
Genre: Crack
Rating: G
Summary: Somebody's eaten Yoko's purin...uh-oh.
Yoko's Purin Interrogation
Yoko wanted his purin. No. He didn't want his purin - he needed it.
He roughly pushed Ohkura out of his way, stomached-in past Hina, power-walked past Subaru, slapped Maru's back and, again, pushed Yasuda so hard that he almost fell off the stage. Yoko then sprinted past Dokkun, who usually was the first out of the door when filming was over, and before he knew it he was in the lead of the unofficial race to the dressing room.
Yoko was minutes away from tasted victory. He licked his lips in excitement. All day. All day he had been waiting for that moment. Every particle in his being was tingling in joy and ecstasy. Yes.
He deserved it.
After all, Yoko had taken charge of the talk session with their sempais since the others hadn't bothered to utter a single word. Yoko wasn't kidding when he had mentioned that Ohkura was merely Kanjani8's ornament. All Hotel-kun did was sit there and look pretty. Yoko didn't get how such a boring person was one of the more popular ones in their group. Then again, Yoko couldn't take all the credit. Gorilla-kun always would loudly speak in his rough Kansai-ben, tsukkoming and yelling 'nandeyanen'.
All that mattered now was that Yoko got his precious purin. It was for health purposes too. His throat was parched from chattering for so many hours so purin was the only solution. Not water. Not any other drink - purin. It always resulted in his beloved purin. Yoko could feel his heart pulsating, not from rushing to the dressing room, but from the adrenaline that he would now finally get to eat his purin! The thought of purin oozing and sliding down his throat made his insides flutter.
The refrigerator was within reach.
He grasped the side of the door. Yoko looked down and saw that his hand was shaking. It was now or never. With all the strength he could muster, he pulled the refrigerator door open and there in front of him was...
NOTHING?
Yoko blinked. No. That couldn't be right. He was delirious. He blinked again. Nothing appeared in front of him. This had to be a joke. Yoko stepped closer to the refrigerator, inspecting every shelf for any sign of the dessert but he couldn't see anything. It was empty.
He spun around, glaring at each member that filed into the dressing room. Hina went straight for the newspaper, flipping to the sports section. Dokkun collapsed onto the sofa, selfishly taking up all the space as he lifted his legs onto it and laid there fiddling with what appeared to be a Rubik's Cube. Yasuda skipped inside, taking his guitar from the stand and immediately beginning to strum a chord. Subaru and Maru-chan came waltzing in, arms linked together and laughing at something that Yoko didn't really care about.
At that moment, Yoko wanted to find the traitor, the nemesis, the evil doer, the spawn of Satan who had devoured his purin.
"Yokocho, what's wrong?" Maru questioned, catching Yoko's glare while everyone had failed to. Maru-chan unlinked his arm from Subaru and approached him.
Yoko growled, "Stay away!"
Yasuda gazed up from his guitar, tone full of concern as he commented, "You're pale, Yoko."
"Paler than usual," Subaru remarked, mouth twitching into a smirk. He was about to add another remark in, but Yoko loomed over him with his hands on his hips. "Eh?"
"It was you, wasn't it?"
"M-me?" Subaru stuttered, confused. "What are you talking about?"
"I see that smirk!" Yoko barked. He pointed an accusing shaking finger at the smaller person under him. "YOU. ATE. MY. PURIN!"
That had caught everybody's attention.
Yasuda had stopped strumming, Hina's newspaper had fallen onto the ground and Dokkun immediately sat up to witness hell break loose. Maru stepped between Subaru and Yoko, but even he had a scared face as he stared at Yoko. Instead of going redder, Yoko's face was turning pale from the anger that surely had enough force for him to self-combust.
"It's not me. I don't like mixing purin with my tablet supplements," Subaru said. "Really."
Yoko ran his fingers through his jet-black hair. "I'm giving you all one second for the person who did this horrible thing to come out...or else I'll-"
Unfortunately, that was when Ohkura chose to walk in. He had a lazy smile plastered on his face as he gave a massive stretch and sighed, "That tasted sooo good."
"Baka," Dokkun insulted.
Yoko instantly leaped over the table and lunged onto Ohkura, knocking him onto the ground. "Itai! Yoko, I just ate. Be more considerate, will you?"
"Spit it out! Spit it out!" Yoko howled, lashing out on the youngest member. "Give me back my purin! I demand you to give back my purin!"
"No-no-no!" Ohkura gasped, "Staff-san prepared rice and tempura for us! You can see for yourselagkkfl-"
Yoko yanked Ohkura's mouth open and took a whiff and by just that action Yoko could tell that Ohkura had been telling the truth. Yoko closed his mouth and Ohkura scurried away to a corner, feeling violated at what Yoko had done.
Rubbing his hands together, Yoko stood up and looked at each member suspiciously. "Didn't we have that rule? Whoever writes their name on their food, that belongs to them...does that sound familiar?" He questioned, grabbing Maru by the collar, "HUH?"
Maru pouted, frowning. "I didn't eat it. Manager-san said that I should go on a diet."
Yoko observed Maru. Yoko usually could tell when Maru was lying, but there wasn't a single twitch in his facial expression. Maru-chan was no longer a suspect in Yoko's list. He let Maru go and turned to Yasu who immediately shook his head at Yoko's accusation leer. Yasu spoke the truth most of the time, but Yoko wasn't too sure since he was lately going through a delinquent stage. Even Yasu's father had interrogated him about Yasu's sudden delinquency. Nevertheless, Yoko decided that he'd ask the more likely suspects first.
Hina and Dokkun.
Last time somebody had eaten his purin, Yoko was pretty sure that it had been Hina because Hina was stubborn when it came to these things. Hina never admitted to his mistakes - even when he knew that he was wrong.
Yoko advanced towards Gorilla-kun, and gulped when he saw his biceps bulge, but bravely continued his interrogation. "Hina, did you eat my purin?"
"Nandeyanen?" Hina picked up the newspaper from the ground and hit him on the head.
"Ita!"
Yoko rubbed his head. He needed to think up another strategy to get Hina to tell the truth. He had to also avoid Hina's tsukkomis. They were painful. Hina packed quite a hit.
It then struck him. Maybe Yoko could kiss him. It wouldn't hurt since they had exchanged kisses various times and - okay, so perhaps Yoko could save the kiss for last.
That left Dokkun.
"Chonmage! You ate it. Don't lie! Don't lie to your movie!"
"I can make better purin than that cheap one you bought," Dokkun replied in a heart beat. Always full of snide remarks was the infamous Nishikido Ryo.
Subaru howled in laughter but automatically shut up when Yoko glared at him again.
When Yoko was just about to do another round of interrogating, somebody knocked on the door. A head stuck out from behind the door and before Yoko knew it, he didn't have the situation under control. Everybody's attention shifted to someone else...
"UCHI!" Dokkun exclaimed, running up to the ex-member and enveloping him in a tight embrace. "Why are you here?"
The other members crowded around Dokkun and Uchi and began speaking above each other. "How are you?" "Yoko's a baka." "Do you miss us?" "Come over after work!" "Let's go for a drink." "Don't! Hina might kiss you!" "OI!" "Stop tsukkoming me!"
"Aren't you forgetting something?" Yoko hissed, angrily. How could they betray him like this? Someone had stolen and eaten HIS purin and no one cared? No one cared that there was a thief amongst them - there was an untrustworthy person - a disgrace to human nature?
What was wrong with the world?
He folded his arms and watched them ignore his problem and pay attention to Uchi. Yoko would have joined in with them if he was in a good mood, but right then all he felt was betrayal and hurt.
"Hi Yoko! I came in earlier because I saw that you'd be filming at the same studio. How are you?" Uchi grinned, giving Yoko a hug.
And like that, Yoko wasn't mad anymore. Uchi. No one could ever be angry at someone like Uchi. Yoko missed him like everybody else did. The feeling of anger died away and before they knew it, all of the Kanjani8 members were seeing off Uchi as he left their dressing room.
But that was when Yoko found out the bandit.
"Hope to catch you guys another time." Nonchalantly, Uchi waved and just as he walked off he said to them, "The purin tasted good."
~~~~~~~~
(a/n) How'd you like it? It's my first JE fanfiction. I haven't really written anything for almost a year so I thought I'd try writing a one-shot. There are still bits that need to be fixed & proofread, but I'll save that tomorrow. It's almost 3am. Crack is not healthy xD
Thanks for reading! :)