Falling Away with You
New fic :)
Falling Away with You
Author: roxierose13
Rating: PG
Pairing: Harry/Draco
Complete: Yes
Summary: As Draco is pulled from the castle, he watches as his life falls apart.
Response to june challenge from thehexfiles: Remember at the end of Half Blood Prince where Harry is chasing Snape and Draco across the grounds of Hogwarts? Write a one-shot from Draco's POV during the chase.
Disclaimer: I solemnly swear that I do not own Harry Potter and/or any other characters used in this fic. They are all property of J.K. Rowling.
A/N: This is only ever the second response to a challenge I've ever done. I hope it came out okay!
~*~
He's hurting my arm as we tear down the lawn as fast as our legs can carry us. His grip is like iron as he drags me onward, away from Harry. I want to go back. I know what just happened. But Snape is pulling me away.
I can hear screams around me, yells, curses flying over my head, ruffling my hair. I want to yank my arm out of Snape's grip and hurtle back to where I know Harry was standing while it all happened. I could tell he was watching; I could feel the familiar piercing gaze on me as I stood there, debating my life.
There was no time to tell him anything. Dumbledore fell, and Snape whipped me away, fleeing for his life. I am not fleeing for mine.
Those idiot Death Eaters are following us, doubtlessly falling over their feet in an effort to escape from the Boy Wonder. He's angry, I know it. He won't allow them to escape.
I glance back over my shoulder as Snape gives a particularly harsh tug, nearly ripping my arm out of its socket. I send him a momentary scathing glance but there isn't much time.
I see Harry running after us as fast as he can go. He's yelling something, shooting spells at Snape who simply deflects them and mocks him. I wish I could reach my wand, but it's in my pocket, and there’s no way to reach it with my arm in this vice grip.
I want to curse Snape, force him to release me. I want to run back to Harry who's following us at breakneck speed. From this distance I can barely see the flash of fury in his green eyes.
I told him I wouldn't do it. I promised him I wouldn't. I didn't break my promise.
"Draco, come on!" Snape shouts, dragging me further, more harshly towards the front gates of the school.
The sky is alight with flashes of green and red emitted from the many battling wands. There’s a cry and someone falls. It must have been one of those stupid Death Eaters that He sent along with us. I knew they were no good.
I can't see who it is though as we rush down and over the pitch black lawn. But Harry is still following. There is a false hope welling up inside myself. Maybe he'll catch up and save me from Snape.
Snape wants to take me away, to protect me. But he's not protecting me. If anything, he's hurting me more by forcing me to leave. I don't belong with him. I don't want to be a Death Eater, to kill innocent people who didn't deserve it.
Harry gave me another chance. He told me that I had a choice. I hadn't seen before. For me there had always only been one choice. I didn't realize.
His nails are digging into my skin. The pain sears through my body, but it isn't the pain I want to feel. I want to feel Harry's pain. He must hate Snape now. Snape killed his greatest mentor, his teacher, his friend. He's ruined it all.
I promised Harry I wouldn't. In the dark, starry nights, lying on the edge of the forbidden forest, our bodies bathed in the light from the stars, I promised him I would not fulfill my deed. He had been furious at first upon learning what it was. He didn't understand how I could even think of doing something like that.
I told him I had no choice. I was forced all my life to do what others wanted. I was to kill Dumbledore to ensure the continued rise of the Dark Order. The Dark Lord wanted it that way. You can't back out of a deal with him.
I catch a glimpse of Hagrid's cabin that is in flames. They dance, white hot, against the sky, a flash of white illuminating the grounds. I am forcefully reminded of that night, the night everything changed. The white is bright, luminescent. It reminds me of the Hospital Wing.
I had been brought there after Harry had cast his spell upon me in the bathroom. He said it was unknowingly later, though it took me a while to believe. Snape had rushed me to Madame Pomfrey as blood rushed out of the wound on my chest. I was sure I was going to die. My only comforting thought was that if I died, the mission would fail.
Late that night, as I lay in the Hospital wing, fading in and out of consciousness, he came to me. A faint whisper of sound as the door creaked open and the rustle of a cloak as he slipped in, unseen.
I could not tell who it was or what was happening. He was invisible, but I knew it couldn't be anyone else. What little conscious thought I had sensed that it was him. Who else would sneak in to visit me in the dead of night? Not my friends, I assure you.
He was quiet as he looked at me. I felt his eyes on me, moving over my body; my skin even paler than usual because of the immense loss of blood. My ribs were wrapped up tightly, the scarlet blood nearly soaking through the bandage. On the table next to me was a blood replenishing potion that Madame Pomfrey had been forcing down my throat at regular intervals.
I heard a small sound from him. It seeped into my subconscious as I lay, half awake, half unconscious. It sounded like a whisper, an agonized whisper. It took me a while to realize he was speaking to me in a soft voice.
"Malfoy," he had whispered, sounding fearful and something else I couldn't quite place. "I never meant to-- I didn't want to hurt you. It was the spell; I didn't know what it would do."
He had continued whispering like this for some time. I didn't hear it all, just snippets as he talked to me in a hushed voice. In the back of my mind, I wondered why he was here, what he meant by it, and where was Madame Pomfrey?
I felt a soft, warm hand on mine, enclosing it, his fingers caressing my own in a friendly, loving manner that I had never experienced. Perhaps if I had been awake, I might have appreciated the meaning of the gesture. I felt him lean forward, his messy hair brushing against my face.
"I'm sorry." I heard a whisper in my ear and soft lips on my cheek.
I struggled to bring myself back from the brink of the darkness that was gathering on the edge of my mind, but I couldn't. I felt him, felt his presence with me.
Then I was alone again. My hand was cold where his hand had once been. Unconsciously, it had curled around the sheets on my bed, searching for that same warmth, needing that comfort so rarely garnered from anyone else.
I'm pulled to a sudden stop as Snape whips around, his wand pointed at Harry, shooting jets of light at him, deflecting any spell that Harry attempts. I know Harry can do better, but he's afraid of hurting me. I want to wrench my arm away, run to Harry and pull him away.
I try to yell, but Snape has grabbed me again, and it is lost in the night. Behind me there are more shouts, screams, curses. Snape's shoving me forward, his wand out still shooting curses over his shoulder. I turn my head back in an effort to catch sight of Harry once more.
He's still behind us, rushing forward, trying not to stumble on the dark ground. I see him trip but he doesn't fall, much to my relief. I glance up at Snape whose face is contorted in anger and fear.
He doesn't know. That’s why he isn't letting me go. He believes, just as everyone else does, that Harry and I are enemies, now more so than ever. But Harry knows. He knows that I wouldn't.
In the silence of a night that seems so distant now, I told him that I would not kill Dumbledore. I confided my secret to him, my mission. He hated me for it for a long time. But our relationship was fragile, and I was not willing to jeopardize what I had just discovered.
Being with Harry was like breathing fresh air after being trapped in a dungeon for sixteen years. He showed me things I had never imagined possible. He told me that there were people who would care whether I lived or died, despite my actions. I needed him, so I made my promise.
I lied to Snape, to my father, even to the Dark Lord himself. No one could know that I had secretly renounced them. They would have killed me instantly at the news. I shoved my secret deep into my conscience, sealed away where even the Dark Lord could not see it.
We are almost to the gate. Snape's grip is ripping at my arm, leaving deep bruises on my pale skin. I know he thinks he is acting for the best, but he doesn't know the truth. If he knew the truth, he would let go.
Harry is still following, though he is further back than I remember. He must have fallen. Far behind him at the castle, the walls are lit up by the light of blasts from the wands still doing battle there. But I can't hear a thing.
Everything is silent as I watch Harry hurtle toward us. Snape wrenches me through the gate, pushing me over the threshold, slamming it shut behind him. I stumble forward at the force of the push, nearly falling.
I manage to keep my balance, whipping around to look through the bars. Harry has stopped running. He is staring at me, his green eyes that always seemed to see right through me raking over my face. He looks despaired, like he wants to kill someone. I know he is angry, I know he is sad, I know he hates Snape.
But I also know he's not mad at me. He knows what I did. He saw it all. I didn't do it. I kept my promise, that promise I had made so many nights ago on a night much like tonight.
The stars were out in force, twinkling and glittering above us. At the edge of the forest, gazing out over the moonlit lake, tiny waves rippling its surface, Harry had turned to me, his face the most serious I had ever seen it.
He'd been angry with me for several weeks since I had told him. This had been the first opportunity where he would see me willingly. We had met in secret, each sneaking out and hiding ourselves in the darkness of the brush, near the base of a tall tree just on the brink of the forbidden forest.
He had looked me directly in the eyes, his eyes hard, a crystalline green color resounding in their depths. I was nervous as he looked at me.
"Draco," he had said softly. "What are you willing to do?"
"Do for what?" I had replied. I wasn't sure what he had been referring to. I was willing to do many things depending on the context.
"For me," he had replied in a barely audible whisper. The tone of his voice had nearly broken my heart. He sounded so broken, so lost. I wanted to comfort him, to pull him to me and cradle him in my lap like a mother does a child. But I didn't. I am not equipped to handle something like this. I don't know how.
"Harry," I'd replied quietly. "I'll promise you something."
I had thought about this for a long time. I knew what I wanted. I had to sacrifice something, most likely me, to get it. I was willing.
Harry had just looked at me, the apprehension evident in his eyes. I knew he must be wondering what was happening. In all the time I had known him, I had never made him a promise besides to make his life a living hell. I had fulfilled that promise for a long time until I had realized my mistake.
"I won't do it," I had told him quietly. He was silent as he stared at me. I looked back carefully, hoping that he would accept it. His face was blank as his mind worked. I could tell he wanted to believe me, but I also knew that he couldn't help that tiny nagging voice inside himself that told him it was a mistake to trust me; me, his enemy of six years.
He is still staring at me. He stands just a few feet away from the bars, watching desperately as Snape grabs my arm. Snape is yelling something, to me maybe, to Harry, I don't know. I can't hear anything.
I feel his vice-like grip on my arm once more, wrenching it to him. I look back to Harry, fear finally gripping me. I don't want to go. I can't leave him alone. He needs me. I need him.
I try to tell Snape this, a kind of hysteria taking over me. I can't go now. His mentor is dead, and I am leaving him. He is all alone. My pulse is racing, my heartbeat increasing as I begin to panic. I stare back at Harry who just stands there.
This minute is taking forever. I want to wrench my arm from Snape, fling open the gates and run back. He won't let me. He must think I'm going crazy with fear and guilt. But I'm not. I am panicking because I am about to leave the only one who ever really cared for me.
My eyes lock on Harry's one last time as I feel Snape tighten his grip, preparing to Apparate me away. Something flickers in Harry's eyes as I hear a crack and my insides are squeezed.
I'm not alone. He won't leave me. Harry will save me. I know it.
~*~
A/N: Leave a comment if you wish :)
Falling Away with You
Author: roxierose13
Rating: PG
Pairing: Harry/Draco
Complete: Yes
Summary: As Draco is pulled from the castle, he watches as his life falls apart.
Response to june challenge from thehexfiles: Remember at the end of Half Blood Prince where Harry is chasing Snape and Draco across the grounds of Hogwarts? Write a one-shot from Draco's POV during the chase.
Disclaimer: I solemnly swear that I do not own Harry Potter and/or any other characters used in this fic. They are all property of J.K. Rowling.
A/N: This is only ever the second response to a challenge I've ever done. I hope it came out okay!
~*~
He's hurting my arm as we tear down the lawn as fast as our legs can carry us. His grip is like iron as he drags me onward, away from Harry. I want to go back. I know what just happened. But Snape is pulling me away.
I can hear screams around me, yells, curses flying over my head, ruffling my hair. I want to yank my arm out of Snape's grip and hurtle back to where I know Harry was standing while it all happened. I could tell he was watching; I could feel the familiar piercing gaze on me as I stood there, debating my life.
There was no time to tell him anything. Dumbledore fell, and Snape whipped me away, fleeing for his life. I am not fleeing for mine.
Those idiot Death Eaters are following us, doubtlessly falling over their feet in an effort to escape from the Boy Wonder. He's angry, I know it. He won't allow them to escape.
I glance back over my shoulder as Snape gives a particularly harsh tug, nearly ripping my arm out of its socket. I send him a momentary scathing glance but there isn't much time.
I see Harry running after us as fast as he can go. He's yelling something, shooting spells at Snape who simply deflects them and mocks him. I wish I could reach my wand, but it's in my pocket, and there’s no way to reach it with my arm in this vice grip.
I want to curse Snape, force him to release me. I want to run back to Harry who's following us at breakneck speed. From this distance I can barely see the flash of fury in his green eyes.
I told him I wouldn't do it. I promised him I wouldn't. I didn't break my promise.
"Draco, come on!" Snape shouts, dragging me further, more harshly towards the front gates of the school.
The sky is alight with flashes of green and red emitted from the many battling wands. There’s a cry and someone falls. It must have been one of those stupid Death Eaters that He sent along with us. I knew they were no good.
I can't see who it is though as we rush down and over the pitch black lawn. But Harry is still following. There is a false hope welling up inside myself. Maybe he'll catch up and save me from Snape.
Snape wants to take me away, to protect me. But he's not protecting me. If anything, he's hurting me more by forcing me to leave. I don't belong with him. I don't want to be a Death Eater, to kill innocent people who didn't deserve it.
Harry gave me another chance. He told me that I had a choice. I hadn't seen before. For me there had always only been one choice. I didn't realize.
His nails are digging into my skin. The pain sears through my body, but it isn't the pain I want to feel. I want to feel Harry's pain. He must hate Snape now. Snape killed his greatest mentor, his teacher, his friend. He's ruined it all.
I promised Harry I wouldn't. In the dark, starry nights, lying on the edge of the forbidden forest, our bodies bathed in the light from the stars, I promised him I would not fulfill my deed. He had been furious at first upon learning what it was. He didn't understand how I could even think of doing something like that.
I told him I had no choice. I was forced all my life to do what others wanted. I was to kill Dumbledore to ensure the continued rise of the Dark Order. The Dark Lord wanted it that way. You can't back out of a deal with him.
I catch a glimpse of Hagrid's cabin that is in flames. They dance, white hot, against the sky, a flash of white illuminating the grounds. I am forcefully reminded of that night, the night everything changed. The white is bright, luminescent. It reminds me of the Hospital Wing.
I had been brought there after Harry had cast his spell upon me in the bathroom. He said it was unknowingly later, though it took me a while to believe. Snape had rushed me to Madame Pomfrey as blood rushed out of the wound on my chest. I was sure I was going to die. My only comforting thought was that if I died, the mission would fail.
Late that night, as I lay in the Hospital wing, fading in and out of consciousness, he came to me. A faint whisper of sound as the door creaked open and the rustle of a cloak as he slipped in, unseen.
I could not tell who it was or what was happening. He was invisible, but I knew it couldn't be anyone else. What little conscious thought I had sensed that it was him. Who else would sneak in to visit me in the dead of night? Not my friends, I assure you.
He was quiet as he looked at me. I felt his eyes on me, moving over my body; my skin even paler than usual because of the immense loss of blood. My ribs were wrapped up tightly, the scarlet blood nearly soaking through the bandage. On the table next to me was a blood replenishing potion that Madame Pomfrey had been forcing down my throat at regular intervals.
I heard a small sound from him. It seeped into my subconscious as I lay, half awake, half unconscious. It sounded like a whisper, an agonized whisper. It took me a while to realize he was speaking to me in a soft voice.
"Malfoy," he had whispered, sounding fearful and something else I couldn't quite place. "I never meant to-- I didn't want to hurt you. It was the spell; I didn't know what it would do."
He had continued whispering like this for some time. I didn't hear it all, just snippets as he talked to me in a hushed voice. In the back of my mind, I wondered why he was here, what he meant by it, and where was Madame Pomfrey?
I felt a soft, warm hand on mine, enclosing it, his fingers caressing my own in a friendly, loving manner that I had never experienced. Perhaps if I had been awake, I might have appreciated the meaning of the gesture. I felt him lean forward, his messy hair brushing against my face.
"I'm sorry." I heard a whisper in my ear and soft lips on my cheek.
I struggled to bring myself back from the brink of the darkness that was gathering on the edge of my mind, but I couldn't. I felt him, felt his presence with me.
Then I was alone again. My hand was cold where his hand had once been. Unconsciously, it had curled around the sheets on my bed, searching for that same warmth, needing that comfort so rarely garnered from anyone else.
I'm pulled to a sudden stop as Snape whips around, his wand pointed at Harry, shooting jets of light at him, deflecting any spell that Harry attempts. I know Harry can do better, but he's afraid of hurting me. I want to wrench my arm away, run to Harry and pull him away.
I try to yell, but Snape has grabbed me again, and it is lost in the night. Behind me there are more shouts, screams, curses. Snape's shoving me forward, his wand out still shooting curses over his shoulder. I turn my head back in an effort to catch sight of Harry once more.
He's still behind us, rushing forward, trying not to stumble on the dark ground. I see him trip but he doesn't fall, much to my relief. I glance up at Snape whose face is contorted in anger and fear.
He doesn't know. That’s why he isn't letting me go. He believes, just as everyone else does, that Harry and I are enemies, now more so than ever. But Harry knows. He knows that I wouldn't.
In the silence of a night that seems so distant now, I told him that I would not kill Dumbledore. I confided my secret to him, my mission. He hated me for it for a long time. But our relationship was fragile, and I was not willing to jeopardize what I had just discovered.
Being with Harry was like breathing fresh air after being trapped in a dungeon for sixteen years. He showed me things I had never imagined possible. He told me that there were people who would care whether I lived or died, despite my actions. I needed him, so I made my promise.
I lied to Snape, to my father, even to the Dark Lord himself. No one could know that I had secretly renounced them. They would have killed me instantly at the news. I shoved my secret deep into my conscience, sealed away where even the Dark Lord could not see it.
We are almost to the gate. Snape's grip is ripping at my arm, leaving deep bruises on my pale skin. I know he thinks he is acting for the best, but he doesn't know the truth. If he knew the truth, he would let go.
Harry is still following, though he is further back than I remember. He must have fallen. Far behind him at the castle, the walls are lit up by the light of blasts from the wands still doing battle there. But I can't hear a thing.
Everything is silent as I watch Harry hurtle toward us. Snape wrenches me through the gate, pushing me over the threshold, slamming it shut behind him. I stumble forward at the force of the push, nearly falling.
I manage to keep my balance, whipping around to look through the bars. Harry has stopped running. He is staring at me, his green eyes that always seemed to see right through me raking over my face. He looks despaired, like he wants to kill someone. I know he is angry, I know he is sad, I know he hates Snape.
But I also know he's not mad at me. He knows what I did. He saw it all. I didn't do it. I kept my promise, that promise I had made so many nights ago on a night much like tonight.
The stars were out in force, twinkling and glittering above us. At the edge of the forest, gazing out over the moonlit lake, tiny waves rippling its surface, Harry had turned to me, his face the most serious I had ever seen it.
He'd been angry with me for several weeks since I had told him. This had been the first opportunity where he would see me willingly. We had met in secret, each sneaking out and hiding ourselves in the darkness of the brush, near the base of a tall tree just on the brink of the forbidden forest.
He had looked me directly in the eyes, his eyes hard, a crystalline green color resounding in their depths. I was nervous as he looked at me.
"Draco," he had said softly. "What are you willing to do?"
"Do for what?" I had replied. I wasn't sure what he had been referring to. I was willing to do many things depending on the context.
"For me," he had replied in a barely audible whisper. The tone of his voice had nearly broken my heart. He sounded so broken, so lost. I wanted to comfort him, to pull him to me and cradle him in my lap like a mother does a child. But I didn't. I am not equipped to handle something like this. I don't know how.
"Harry," I'd replied quietly. "I'll promise you something."
I had thought about this for a long time. I knew what I wanted. I had to sacrifice something, most likely me, to get it. I was willing.
Harry had just looked at me, the apprehension evident in his eyes. I knew he must be wondering what was happening. In all the time I had known him, I had never made him a promise besides to make his life a living hell. I had fulfilled that promise for a long time until I had realized my mistake.
"I won't do it," I had told him quietly. He was silent as he stared at me. I looked back carefully, hoping that he would accept it. His face was blank as his mind worked. I could tell he wanted to believe me, but I also knew that he couldn't help that tiny nagging voice inside himself that told him it was a mistake to trust me; me, his enemy of six years.
He is still staring at me. He stands just a few feet away from the bars, watching desperately as Snape grabs my arm. Snape is yelling something, to me maybe, to Harry, I don't know. I can't hear anything.
I feel his vice-like grip on my arm once more, wrenching it to him. I look back to Harry, fear finally gripping me. I don't want to go. I can't leave him alone. He needs me. I need him.
I try to tell Snape this, a kind of hysteria taking over me. I can't go now. His mentor is dead, and I am leaving him. He is all alone. My pulse is racing, my heartbeat increasing as I begin to panic. I stare back at Harry who just stands there.
This minute is taking forever. I want to wrench my arm from Snape, fling open the gates and run back. He won't let me. He must think I'm going crazy with fear and guilt. But I'm not. I am panicking because I am about to leave the only one who ever really cared for me.
My eyes lock on Harry's one last time as I feel Snape tighten his grip, preparing to Apparate me away. Something flickers in Harry's eyes as I hear a crack and my insides are squeezed.
I'm not alone. He won't leave me. Harry will save me. I know it.
~*~
A/N: Leave a comment if you wish :)