Sometimes Ugly [PART 1 OF 1]

[sikily]

Title: Sometimes Ugly
Author: sikily
Pairings: Onho, onesided!Jongyu
Rating: NC-17/R [So read at your own risk :P]
Summary: You don't always know how to correctly treasure the one you love. Jonghyun fathoms Minho has no clue.

_

“Guess what? Guess what, guys?”

Key and Jonghyun looked up from their shared banana split, only to see a heaving Jinki bent over and clutching his stomach
as his other hand pulled at Jonghyun’s sleeve like a child.

“What?” Key asked, an eyebrow rose delicately as he took in Jinki’s form. “That’s bad posture, hyung.”

“But do you know who has excellent posture?” Jinki asked instead, sitting down beside Jonghyun and sneaking the cherry off their dessert.

“Not again,” Jonghyun and Key rolled their eyes in unison, trying to look normal to Jinki even as they exchanged a guilty nudge on the ribs.

“Yup! Minho has excellent posture!”

“He’s a model, hyung. He has to have excellent posture.”

“Oh! That reminds me! Guess what guys? Minho has a new drama coming out this Saturday! Let’s meet up at Jonghyun’s house again… and umm, bond.” Jinki flashed them his cute, toothy smile just as Jonghyun stuffed a spoonful of icecream his mouth.

“You’re too skinny, hyung. It’s hardly normal for a boy your age to have a body mass equivalent to a 12 year old.”

Jonghyun and Key both watched in unison as Jinki smiled at the ice cream in his mouth, Jonghyun reaching out just to catch the tiny droplet dripping out the corner.

“What do you say, guys? Saturday?”

Jinki looked too excited for either of them to deny him, besides; neither of them wanted him to stay in his own home.

But they had to tease. It was part of the act.

“What do you mean by bonding? Do you mean squealing and fan-boying whenever your lover boy comes on screen?” Key smirked a bit, hand patting Jinki’s head as if the other was a little boy.

Jinki flushed a bright red as he pushed Key’s hand away, turning to Jonghyun as a last resort.

Key was the one in their friendship that made all the decisions, but Jonghyun was a softie, and almost never said no to Jinki.

Jinki pouted as he rocked Jonghyun’s shoulder to make the younger look at him, his puppy-like eyes already showing signs of giving in.

“Please, Jonghyunnie? I miss you guys…”

“Key. Jinki misses us.” Jonghyun’s voice was stern, but a tad bit distracted as he fed Jinki another spoonful of ice cream.

“You guys are pathetic.” Key finally gave in, rolling his eyes once again. “But if I find myself a nice little date, which will probably be the case, I’m ditching both of you. You guys can squeal and cry and fanboy by yourselves.”

Key always said that, but he always showed up, and always with extra popcorn.

“Yay!” Jinki smiled, pulling them both into a hug before launching into a story about what Minho had been doing recently.

It had been another two long hours of Jonghyun and Key trying to keep their mouths closed, clenching their jaws instead when Jinki grinned and chuckled.

God. It probably hurt them as much as it hurt Jinki.

~

“I’m home, Jinki!” Minho yelled, padding across the dark living room to make his way to their shared bedroom.

“Jinki? Jinki?” Minho felt his heart catch as he turned the knob of their room, slender hand shaking a bit as he unwittingly spoke to himself. ‘What if he’s with another man?’

But he opened the room to find nothing. There was no cute Jinki asleep on their bed, much less another man.

“Jink? Jinki!”

Minho panicked as he searched the apartment; images of a certain empty apartment making his heart beat a little quicker than it should. Images of a broken man, and a woman with red stained lips; of a hard bamboo stick and of a studded belt.

“Why are the lights on?” He heard a voice ask, before a similar hum started to fill his ears.

It was Minho’s new song, but it wasn’t his voice singing it.

“Jinki.” Minho growled, the moment Jinki walked through the door and caught sight of Minho curled up defensively on the couch.

Jinki gulped as he made his way up to the model.

He cringed as Minho pulled him into a bone-breaking hug, his hands travelling up to Jinki’s cheek as the two engaged in a long, clingy kiss.

~

“Jinki!” Jinki turned around to see Jonghyun and Key running up to him, their voices cheerful as they debated on the movie the three of them were to watch that afternoon.

“I don’t think I can come anymore, guys.” Jinki said quietly, his face buried in his collar as he trudged along beside them. “I don’t think I can make it tonight.”

He had been hoping that the two wouldn’t look at him, but they did. The pair turned around just to catch Jinki stuffing his face deeper in his collar.

Key wasted no time as he marched up to the boy and forced his chin out of his collar. He gasped as Jinki made a lazy attempt at covering his face.

“I fell in the shower this morning.” Jinki said automatically, grinning as his eyes remained devoid of any emotion.

“You can’t possibly fall in the shower every single fucking morning, Jinki!” Key screamed, lunging forward to bring Jinki into a hug, tears already collecting at his eyes. He sobbed into Jinki’s shoulder, snot and tears creating little dark, wet spots on Jinki’s sweater.

Jonghyun marched slowly up to Jinki and traced the purple-green, swollen patch of skin on Jinki’s cheek with a gentle finger. “You have to stop falling in the shower, hyung.”

Jinki was too scared to look into Jonghyun’s eyes; both of them knew what Jonghyun was really saying.

“Let’s go eat.” Jonghyun’s voice was rough and slightly angry as he pulled Key away from Jinki, and grabbed Jinki’s wrist with his other hand.

He didn’t miss Jinki’s flinch. He reminded himself to pull up Jinki’s sleeve later, too see exactly how serious that fall in the bathroom was.

He also had a few pieces of his mind to share with Minho about their bathroom shower.

~

“I don’t give a damn if Minho is there, Jinki. I. Need. To. Borrow. The. Damned. Toilet.” Jonghyun screamed, his usually obnoxiously loud voice incredibly rough and husky.

“Jong-Minho doesn’t like it when I have guests over.” Jinki bowed his head like a sad little child as he pouted.

“He’s not your fucking father, Jinki. Heck, even your father has no right to treat you like he does. He can’t tell you what to do and what not to do!”

“Please. Please, Jonghyun.”

Jonghyun’s eyes softened as he heard Jinki beg him, his voice laced with a sadness he’s never heard from the usually cheerful boy. “Please.”

Jonghyun didn’t know why, but he left that night, sporting two fists at his side and a sudden desire to punch and rip and destroy.

~

Jinki hadn’t shown up for class. That was the first thing Jonghyun noted as he took his usual seat beside Key.

“Have you seen Jinki?” Key was silent even as Jonghyun prodded further. “Key? Did you hear me? Do you know-”

“No. I don’t fucking know.” Key growled, and as Jonghyun saw him raise his head, he felt sorry for worrying Key further.

Key’s eyes were red and swollen, his cheeks puffed and pale. “How come I never know, Jonghyun?”

Jonghyun didn’t dare move as Key pulled him into a hug, waterworks back as he garbled on and on.

“He’s always so sweet… and innocent and kind… how could anybody in their right mind hurt him?”

“Minho’s not in his right mind, Key.”

“We’ve known him since we were babies, Jonghyun! How could… how could we just let Jinki…let him-”

“He’ll never leave Minho on his own, Key. He can forgive people too easily. Jinki’s too kind hearted, and much too in love, to ever realize that Minho can’t be doing this to him.”

‘It’s all my fault.”

Even as Jonghyun assured Key that it wasn’t his fault, a small part of him wished that Key never introduced Minho to Jinki in the first place.

Another part of him wished that he had had the courage to confess to Jinki first. He would never lay a hand on his angel.

~

Jinki knew what was coming the moment Minho stormed into their apartment with a murderous look in his eyes.

His eyes were glazed over and a fake grin spread across his handsome face. His ponytail was out of place and slanted to the left, and Jinki watched quietly with his smile frozen in place as Minho slowly licked his lips.

“They have the fucking nerve to call me a rookie.” Minho growled, throwing his bag on the floor as he hurried over to where Jinki stood, fear finally settling upon his brow.

Minho was not gentle as he grabbed Jinki’s wrist and pulled the boy into their bedroom, his lips already running along Jinki’s neck.

“Minnie… I’m not feeling well today,” Jinki squeaked, hands at Minho’s chest as he tries to push him away. There was no way in hell he was showing Minho the ugly red, blue and black bruises running across his skin.

There was a slap against his cheek as Minho raised his head to glare at Jinki. “I. Don’t. Care.”

His voice was ice cold, lips trembling as it connected with Jinki’s. “You’re not allowed to say no. You’re not allowed to say no to me.”

Jinki whined as Minho’s hand traced the bulge in his pants, and Minho raised a hand to slap Jinki’s other cheek.

Hands shaking and feverish, Minho slapped Jinki on the cheek a few more times before forcing Jinki onto the ground. “Suck.”

Jinki felt tears flow down his cheek as Minho forced him to take him deeper and deeper, his natural gag reflex making him choke over and over again.

He didn’t know how much Minho was enjoying it, but he sure as heck was not. Not even when Minho’s hand was running through his hair and the other hand was wiping the blood that had collected at the corner of Jinki’s mouth when he was slapped earlier.

Jinki felt himself panting for air and had no choice but to pull Minho out of his mouth, tears streaming down his cheeks as he sobbed soundlessly.

A punch was landed on his right eye. All Jinki saw was circles and stars for a second before he realized that he was no longer on the floor. Minho had picked him up and thrown him against the door.

“Prepare yourself.”

Jinki only obeyed silently. He braced himself against the wall as he stood up on shaky legs, bringing one hand out to rub against the fresh blood on his cheek.

He tried to do it slowly, hoping that Minho would realize that he was hurting Jinki and leave to calm down before coming back.

In the beginning, he had always told Minho that he was hurt, but Minho never seemed to listen… always pushing him more and more.

So he was waiting now, waiting for Minho to realize himself that Jinki had done nothing wrong. Jinki was waiting for Minho to realize that although Jinki loved him, this was not right.

Jinki believed that Minho would one day realize.

“Prepare yourself.” Minho growled, voice groggy as he looked at Jinki with lust clouded brown eyes.

Jinki brought a finger to his entrance and timidly pushed in, legs crumpling beneath him as he fell to the ground, his eyes raw with a fresh batch of tears.

He pushed in and out relentlessly, refusing to look at Minho as he cried. It hurts, he wanted to say. It really, really hurts.

“Enough.” Minho said from right beside him, his hand gripping Jinki’s wrist roughly.

“It’s-It’s only one-”

“It’s enough.”

Jinki had almost smiled. Had Minho finally realized that Jinki didn’t want to do this? That Jinki wanted to make love… not fuck roughly.

“Minho, did you-” Jinki gasped as he felt Minho enter him, rough and without former notice. He began pumping in and out without first allowing Jinki time to get accustomed to his size.

Jinki screamed with every thrust, pain long forgotten as numbness took over instead.

He looked down to where he was connected to his lover and realized that he was bleeding.

Minho was hovering over him with his eyes closed and his mouth slightly agap at the sensation of having Jinki’s heat engulf his throbbing member.

Jinki was sobbing harder now, his hips thrusting up naturally. Minho was grunting above him, rhythm sporadic and random as he rode out his high, pools of cum overflowing and dripping out of Jinki’s hole and onto the carpet.

Jinki’s broken sobs and Minho’s pants were the only sounds in the otherwise quiet room, the traffic only a distant series of wheels on gravel.

Minho pulled out slowly, his eyes a bit wide as he realized that Jinki was crying. And that Jinki had not come at all that night.

“Jinki, Jinki, Jinki…” He peppered kisses along Jinki’s jaw line, atop the bright red bruise flaming against otherwise pale skin. He pulled Jinki into a gentle and sweet kiss, arms tugging Jinki against his chest in a hug.

“I love Jinki so, so much.” Minho was already drifting in and out of consciousness, arms still clad tight around Jinki. “That’s why Jinki’s mine, only mine.”

~

The bags under Jinki’s eyes and the swollen red of a hand print across his cheek made Jonghyun’s knees go weak. Minho was in one of his moods again.

Jonghyun knew that Minho was working tonight, since he was a regular in a TV sitcom, so he had decided that he needed to pay his best friend a visit. He hadn’t expected this.

At least not to this magnitude.

“Jonghyun!” Jinki croaked, sleeves soaked and salty from his tears. Jonghyun watched as his best friend brought the stained sleeve to his eyes, sniffling into the wet material. Instinctively, Jonghyun brought an arm over taller boy’s thin, quaking shoulders.

“Shhh…” Jonghyun smiled, but he found forcing his face muscles to form anything other than a frown a tad too difficult at the moment.

His jaw had been clenched all along to stop himself from blurting out curses at a certain tall, doe-eyed monster.

How could anything other than a monster hurt the angel before him? The only time Jinki did anything but made him smile was when Jinki was hurt. He hated seeing Jinki hurt, but ever since that Choi Minho made his way into Jinki’s heart, Jonghyun knew that it was a lost cause.

Still, when he saw the way Jinki’s skin was swollen and bruised, he felt like he himself wanted to cry.

“Let me tell you something,” Jonghyun whispered against Jinki’s forehead before placing upon it a simple, small kiss. Friendly, platonic, caring.

Unfortunately, nothing more.

“You deserve so much more.” Someone that doesn’t slap you and punch you in the eye.

Jinki didn’t answer, choosing instead to bury his face in Jonghyun’s muscular chest. Hard, sturdy, dependable.

He was never able to cuddle with Minho like this.

“Why do you go back?”

Jonghyun had wanted to say something else in the beginning, something along the lines of ‘I fucking love you, okay? So don’t go back to that monster. Let me love you, because I already do.’ But that didn’t come out. Jonghyun didn’t want to ruin what was left of him and Jinki’s relationship.

“He loves me. He does.” Jinki replied matter-of-factly.

Jinki was usually a self-conscious man, always ending his statements in question marks and asking for reassurance.

Never had Jonghyun seen Jinki so certain, and it made his heart clench a little tighter in his chest.

He didn’t know if he should be proud or devastated.

But Jonghyun knew one thing for sure. He couldn’t hold back anymore, not when his angel was so tattered and broken. Not when his other best friend was so devastated and overcome with guilt that he couldn’t even bring himself to come over tonight to meet Jinki.

~

Minho had no idea what was coming. He was walking along the street with a box of ice cream in his hands (for Jinki) when he saw Jonghyun march up to him, face flushed and eyebrows furrowed together in a glare. Jinki’s best friend, he noted, about to say hello when Jonghyun brought a fist up and punched Minho in the face.

“How does that feel like, jackass? How the hell can you do this to Jinki? Do you know how much he loves you?” Jonghyun was shouting, and Minho really didn’t give a damn. His surprise present for Jinki was melting on the ground, the lid having fallen off when he dropped the bag due to his shock at being hit. And he was furious.

Why the hell did some guy just randomly go up to him and punch him?

“Jinki deserves someone that loves him, so fuck off, supermodel. If you don’t love him, then give him back to us, back to the people that would die for him.”

Jonghyun made sure to give Minho another punch before Minho decided to attack. He used his height as an advantage and kicked Jonghyun in his privates, earning him a grunt before he kicked Jonghyun in the face.

But he didn’t say one word. Because he knew that he loved Jinki, and that was enough.

He turned around just to see his manager’s car pull up with his body guards, having told them earlier that he’ll meet them at the parking lot after he went to buy his surprise present for Jinki.

“Jinki is mine.” He said stubbornly before climbing into the company car and driving off on his own. He had to find Jinki now. To tell Jinki how much he loved him. To show Jinki.

~

Minho was seeing red. He ignored the stinging pain just beneath his left eye and stormed into the apartment, finding his boyfriend sleeping cozily in a bundle of blankets. He would usually think it was adorable, Jinki all clad in cute bunny boxers and an oversized t-shit, but he had something he really needed to do. He had to show Jinki that he loved him.

“Son, you’re the most important thing in my life.” He heard the voice in his head again, the voice of his father. That voice was always accompanied by a leather belt, and usually the crumpled up form of his mother on the ground just a few feet away from him.

“Why’s mommy not moving?” He used to ask innocently, gritting his teeth against the pain that spread across his backside.

“I love her. I love her so much. I love her so, so much.” That’s all Minho heard in reply as his father beat him, not understanding at all what his father was saying. He, at ten years old, wouldn’t know that his mother had someone other than his father that she loved.

Even when his mother left them, and all he was left with was a father that loved him and beat him, Minho had never forgotten what his father said.

I love her, so I beat her. I love you Minho, so I’m going to beat you.

These were the associations made by the ten year old Minho. Pleasure and love comes with pain.

He had to show Jinki how much he loved him, because he loved him so, so much. He loved Jinki more than anything, even more than he loved himself.

He brought out a rope and tied Jinki to the bed. How dare Jonghyun say that he didn’t love Jinki? Nobody would be able to stop him from showing Jinki how much he loved him now.

Jinki woke up when his clothes were ripped off his body. “Minnie?” He asked, his voice muffled by the pillow?

“I love you Jinki.” Minho placed a kiss on his bare back before he felt leather tear into his skin. “I love you, Jinki,” He hears again, before another whip of leather.

Jinki knew he was crying, and that he was bleeding all over the mattress, but he was already starting to drift in and out of consciousness after almost a hundred whips on his body and limbs. At some point, Minho had flipped him over, because Jinki felt the soft mattress against his battered back, and felt the cool of the comforter against the burn of cuts.

Minho was pounding into him, his eyes crazed and scary as he repeated again and again how much he loved Jinki.

Minho had come shortly after, and he realized that Jinki had stopped crying. His eyes were dry and his voice was scratchy, but Minho cradled Jinki into his chest. He loved Jinki, and Jinki wouldn’t leave him, like his mother and father had.

Somewhere in the back of his head, in his subconscious, he probably realized that it was wrong, that Jinki shouldn’t be crying if he really felt loved.

But Minho let that go, because all along, he’s believed that if there’s no pain, there’s no love.

Minho ran a finger along the inches long bruise, adding just enough pressure to the purple center to make his lover squirm.

With gentler fingers, he traced over opened, bloodied cuts and newly formed raw bruises.

Jinki was whimpering; it was a whimper that showed Minho he was scared, but not unwilling to succumb to Minho’s sick, sick hobbies.

Minho took pity on the marks covering Jinki’s milky white skin, and decided that he had had enough tonight.

He leaned over and flowered kisses along Jinki’s collarbone. A simple “I love you” followed every tiny kiss, and he smiled as Jinki breathed a reply.

But even as Minho’s breaths evened out, and he slept with a possessive arm encircling Jinki’s waist, Jinki could only close his eyes and bear the pain of Minho’s weighty arm on bruises fresh from a disciplinary belt.

I love you, Minho. Even now. And for forevermore.

~

Minho placed a kiss on Jinki’s forehead as he got up the next morning for work. “I love you.” He said, ignoring the pool of blood around Jinki and the way his lover moaned pitifully at the pain. “I’ll be back tonight.”

He met his manager at the parking lot of the apartment, as usual. He was in a good mood, smiling even at the security guard as he passed him.

He had seemingly forgotten all about Jonghyun’s punch, until his manager took a look at his face and gasped. “Your face!”

Minho brought a hand up to his cheek and felt a sting of pain spread across his face. “Ah; this.”

“We already put that crazy man in his place yesterday and sued him, but Minho-ah, your face! How will you go to the magazine interview today?”

“Makeup will cover it up, hyung. Just hurry up, because I want to be home early today. I dropped the surprise ice cream I bought for Jinki yesterday and I want to buy it for him today. I like to see him smile.”

Minho smiled giddily to himself as the makeup artists hastily applied concealer to his bruise, scolding him for being so careless.

He was ready for the shot in no time.

“You just always seem to look so… so perfect, Minho ssi! How do you manage it with your busy schedule? There isn’t one picture of you where you don’t look like a prince!” The female interviewer asked, not even a bit shy as she openly stared at the handsome model sitting before her.

Minho laughed as he brought up a finger to straighten the bangs covering his forehead. He was careful not to brush at the makeup that covered the purple-black bruise on his left cheek.

He chuckled as he offered the girl a wink, hands once again clasped together in front of him on the desk. “I only seem to look amazing all the time,” He smiled humbly.

He thought back to Jinki, crying pitifully into their pillow as Minho fucked him into oblivion. He thought of Jinki, never protesting when Minho hit him, and always persistent in hiding his scars from Minho’s eyes.

He thought of Jinki, who Minho had handcuffed to their bed before he left the apartment today, the bloody pool contrasting so prettily against milky pale skin marred by raw red bruises.

“But I’m sometimes ugly too.”

_END_

Possible Epilogue? Heehee:)
- sikily (AKA ICEDCOFFEE @asianfanfics)