fic: Confuzzled On Main St.
Previously: Sam and Dean successfully defeated Lucifer and sent him back to hell and they now hunt while being executive producers of the hit TV show Supernatural, an alternative way of them 'writing' the Winchester Gospel.
Now.
Dean and Sam are a bit wary of this season 6 business but they figure, what the hell. More money for them!
Dean reads some spoilers. And visits the boards.
DEANSCHICK: WHAT. What the fuck! LISA GO DIAF.
So yeah, after that he stays away. It's only recently they found out that the CW aired a different version of the Apocalypse. Dean doesn't quite know why. He didn't hear any Swans singing either. But whatever. It's episode 6.01 time.
---
6.01: Confuzzled on Main St.
There's a montage of Dean doing everyday shit. Sam wonders what the hell is going on. And more importantly,
"Dude, why is your shirt tucked in?'. Dean just shrugs and hums along to 'Beautiful Loser' by Bob Seger. He fucking loves the song choices on Supernatural.
Until now anyway. The scene cuts to Sam driving in a 2010 Dodge Charger with a hemi, custom dark rims and custom hood scoop and Dean is horrified. Some sort of dancy-rap song is on and Dean reads the song title and frowns. It's bad enough that he's subjected to subtitles because Sam 'believes that they enrichen the viewing experience'.
"What the fuck is this shit?" Dean asks as they show a montage of Sam with no shirt on, shooting at random unseen things. Dean blinks. Sam looks quite proud of his on screen antics. Dean slaps the back of his head. And seriously, who the fuck is this Florida dude? Who names themselves Florida?
"It's FLOW-RIDER" Sam says.
"You listen to this shit? What the hell?" Dean yells,"What does he even me? The club can't handle him? Give me five minutes with this dude and I'll *handle* him" Sam doesn't really see why Dean is so upset.At least this song isn't older than he is.
---
Sam: Guess who's back? Back again! Sammy's back, tell a friend. *sings Eminem*
Dean: S-Sam? Is it you? Is it really you? I-I thought you were gone.
Sam: It's me.
Dean: Sam?
Sam: Yes.
Dean: Wow. Where's Cas?
Sam: I got drunk last week and yelled his name a few times. But he didn't show.
Dean: Oh wait. He went back to Heaven. He fixed my face after you exercised your fists on it.
Sam: Dude, can we hug already? This is fun and all but I have to deal with one of those killer clowns
Dean: Sure.
---
As the show cuts to a commercial, Dean is baffled. And bored. He can hear Sam snoring loudly and he wishes that he could sleep through this episode. He goes to get himself a beer, he uses the john...he even plays a quick game of Pacman on his phone. He gets back just as Sam and Dean hug.
---
Dean: Wait...you've been alive ALL this time?
Sam: Yes.
Dean: And you didn't tell me?
Sam: Meh, I was busy.
Dean: WHAT?
Sam: My car didn't come cheap you know? I had to work.
Dean: I would punch you but I'm laying a good example for Ben.
-----
Dean kind of wants to cry, they've made him....wimpy. Even the word wimpy is wimpy.
----
[Lisa and Ben walk in as Sam is drinking beer that Dean gave him -- he splutters when he sees her walk in]
Sam: Dude, what the hell?
Dean: What?
Sam: Lisa? Really? You've been with Lisa for a year?
Lisa: I am HERE you know? Ben go to your room!
Ben: It's like I'm the only f***ing adult around here *stomps off*
Dean: You were gone Sam...I-I had nowhere to go...
Sam: Uhm. Bobby? But no, you shack up with Lisa? Who by the way you'd met like twice before? In fact I'm pretty sure you see the STI nurse more than you see her!
Lisa: [THWACK] *punches Sam*
---
Dean watches in despair as Dean leaves the house and goes to the local town meeting as a way of calming down. It's downright tedious. On Dean's way back, Dean sees what his TV self is driving.
"Sam, they put me in a fucking pick up truck!!" Sam just snuffles quietly in his sleep and Dean huffs. He watches as Dean turns on the radio, only to be assaulted by some rap song and suddenly he switches the track to some song that Dean has never heard. He reads the subtitles in disgust,
"Who the fuck is Michael Bubbly??" He says as he pokes Sam. Sam does that snuffly thing again and says,
"It's Buble" and Dean wants to hit him again but he's kinda lost the will to live. And this Michael Bubbly song is catchy. He wants to go hooooooooome.
---
Sam: Meet Samuel
Dean: HUH
Sam: And these are our cousins
Dean: HUH
Sam: They're alive, Dean and I'm hunting with them now.
Dean: Oh okay.
---
Dean wants to cry because really? Really?
"They brought Grandpa back?" Sam says and apparently he is awake now
"I know right? I mean where is the continuity! I mean those eyebrows? They should never be unleashed on anyone without warning! What are they scraping from the bottom of a barrel??"
"Assbutts" Sam says sleepily and Dean moves in for a high five!
---
Sam: Thanks for you know...helping me with the Clown.
Dean: Oh it's no big deal. He just wanted directions you know? You didn't need to knock out his two fron teeth
Sam: Well you know..Clowns kill
Dean: That was a case we took on years ago? What the hell dude?
Sam: So, you coming with?
Dean: Nope
Sam: Wait...what? Dean, I though we'd spoken about Lisa, you don't belong here.
Dean: Dude, seriously, I have a golf game at 3pm.
Sam: Golf?
Dean: Dude, I'm like the new Tiger Woods!
Sam: *raises eyebrow*
Dean: I used to love Tiger Woods because he was a champion. But after that sex scandal, the man is a god!
Sam: Well then...I guess...I better go.
Dean: Oh and one more thing,[THWACK] *punches Sam*
---
Sam and Dean both turn to look at each other as the screen fades to black. Both of them are rather speechless.
"Uhm, you wanna recap for me Dean?" Sam asks with yawn and Dean just sighs,
"Just Superwiki it tomorrow, man...it's like they've made a mockery of our lives" he says looking up as he hears Justin Bieber playing on the TV. He looks up to see a scene of Ben and Dean singing and dancing along to "Somebody To Love". He throws the remote at the TV, relishing in the awesome crack as the glass smashes.
THE END?
After the episode Sam goes on the boards to see what the fans have been saying.
SAMLICKER83: OMG OMG OMG RUDE. HOW COULD THEY NOT SHOW SAM UNTIL 10 MINUTES INTO THE EPISODE? DIE GAMBLE. DIEE.
DEANQUEEN: OMG Sam was such an asshole.
FLASHYCAS: Y U NO PUT CAS IN THE EPISODE, GAMBLE?
RAINBOWSHIT: Worst episode of Supernatural ever. What was with Sam's crappy music?
Sam frowns, seriously what's the problem with his music?
BieberSexx: Oh yay, they used a Bieber song!
Sam winces as he sees all the replies that have been sent to "BieberSexx", he has to admit it Bieber kind of sucks. But it's fun to see Dean getting all worked up whenever he's forced to listen to him. Sam takes out his phone and calls Dean's cell.
"And I was like
Baby, baby, baby ohhh
Like baby, baby, baby noo
Like baby, baby, baby ohh
I thought youd always be mine mine"
"SAM? DID YOU SET THIS FUCKING SONG AS MY RINGTONE? I'M GOING TO KILL YOU"
Now.
Dean and Sam are a bit wary of this season 6 business but they figure, what the hell. More money for them!
Dean reads some spoilers. And visits the boards.
DEANSCHICK: WHAT. What the fuck! LISA GO DIAF.
So yeah, after that he stays away. It's only recently they found out that the CW aired a different version of the Apocalypse. Dean doesn't quite know why. He didn't hear any Swans singing either. But whatever. It's episode 6.01 time.
---
6.01: Confuzzled on Main St.
There's a montage of Dean doing everyday shit. Sam wonders what the hell is going on. And more importantly,
"Dude, why is your shirt tucked in?'. Dean just shrugs and hums along to 'Beautiful Loser' by Bob Seger. He fucking loves the song choices on Supernatural.
Until now anyway. The scene cuts to Sam driving in a 2010 Dodge Charger with a hemi, custom dark rims and custom hood scoop and Dean is horrified. Some sort of dancy-rap song is on and Dean reads the song title and frowns. It's bad enough that he's subjected to subtitles because Sam 'believes that they enrichen the viewing experience'.
"What the fuck is this shit?" Dean asks as they show a montage of Sam with no shirt on, shooting at random unseen things. Dean blinks. Sam looks quite proud of his on screen antics. Dean slaps the back of his head. And seriously, who the fuck is this Florida dude? Who names themselves Florida?
"It's FLOW-RIDER" Sam says.
"You listen to this shit? What the hell?" Dean yells,"What does he even me? The club can't handle him? Give me five minutes with this dude and I'll *handle* him" Sam doesn't really see why Dean is so upset.At least this song isn't older than he is.
---
Sam: Guess who's back? Back again! Sammy's back, tell a friend. *sings Eminem*
Dean: S-Sam? Is it you? Is it really you? I-I thought you were gone.
Sam: It's me.
Dean: Sam?
Sam: Yes.
Dean: Wow. Where's Cas?
Sam: I got drunk last week and yelled his name a few times. But he didn't show.
Dean: Oh wait. He went back to Heaven. He fixed my face after you exercised your fists on it.
Sam: Dude, can we hug already? This is fun and all but I have to deal with one of those killer clowns
Dean: Sure.
---
As the show cuts to a commercial, Dean is baffled. And bored. He can hear Sam snoring loudly and he wishes that he could sleep through this episode. He goes to get himself a beer, he uses the john...he even plays a quick game of Pacman on his phone. He gets back just as Sam and Dean hug.
---
Dean: Wait...you've been alive ALL this time?
Sam: Yes.
Dean: And you didn't tell me?
Sam: Meh, I was busy.
Dean: WHAT?
Sam: My car didn't come cheap you know? I had to work.
Dean: I would punch you but I'm laying a good example for Ben.
-----
Dean kind of wants to cry, they've made him....wimpy. Even the word wimpy is wimpy.
----
[Lisa and Ben walk in as Sam is drinking beer that Dean gave him -- he splutters when he sees her walk in]
Sam: Dude, what the hell?
Dean: What?
Sam: Lisa? Really? You've been with Lisa for a year?
Lisa: I am HERE you know? Ben go to your room!
Ben: It's like I'm the only f***ing adult around here *stomps off*
Dean: You were gone Sam...I-I had nowhere to go...
Sam: Uhm. Bobby? But no, you shack up with Lisa? Who by the way you'd met like twice before? In fact I'm pretty sure you see the STI nurse more than you see her!
Lisa: [THWACK] *punches Sam*
---
Dean watches in despair as Dean leaves the house and goes to the local town meeting as a way of calming down. It's downright tedious. On Dean's way back, Dean sees what his TV self is driving.
"Sam, they put me in a fucking pick up truck!!" Sam just snuffles quietly in his sleep and Dean huffs. He watches as Dean turns on the radio, only to be assaulted by some rap song and suddenly he switches the track to some song that Dean has never heard. He reads the subtitles in disgust,
"Who the fuck is Michael Bubbly??" He says as he pokes Sam. Sam does that snuffly thing again and says,
"It's Buble" and Dean wants to hit him again but he's kinda lost the will to live. And this Michael Bubbly song is catchy. He wants to go hooooooooome.
---
Sam: Meet Samuel
Dean: HUH
Sam: And these are our cousins
Dean: HUH
Sam: They're alive, Dean and I'm hunting with them now.
Dean: Oh okay.
---
Dean wants to cry because really? Really?
"They brought Grandpa back?" Sam says and apparently he is awake now
"I know right? I mean where is the continuity! I mean those eyebrows? They should never be unleashed on anyone without warning! What are they scraping from the bottom of a barrel??"
"Assbutts" Sam says sleepily and Dean moves in for a high five!
---
Sam: Thanks for you know...helping me with the Clown.
Dean: Oh it's no big deal. He just wanted directions you know? You didn't need to knock out his two fron teeth
Sam: Well you know..Clowns kill
Dean: That was a case we took on years ago? What the hell dude?
Sam: So, you coming with?
Dean: Nope
Sam: Wait...what? Dean, I though we'd spoken about Lisa, you don't belong here.
Dean: Dude, seriously, I have a golf game at 3pm.
Sam: Golf?
Dean: Dude, I'm like the new Tiger Woods!
Sam: *raises eyebrow*
Dean: I used to love Tiger Woods because he was a champion. But after that sex scandal, the man is a god!
Sam: Well then...I guess...I better go.
Dean: Oh and one more thing,[THWACK] *punches Sam*
---
Sam and Dean both turn to look at each other as the screen fades to black. Both of them are rather speechless.
"Uhm, you wanna recap for me Dean?" Sam asks with yawn and Dean just sighs,
"Just Superwiki it tomorrow, man...it's like they've made a mockery of our lives" he says looking up as he hears Justin Bieber playing on the TV. He looks up to see a scene of Ben and Dean singing and dancing along to "Somebody To Love". He throws the remote at the TV, relishing in the awesome crack as the glass smashes.
THE END?
After the episode Sam goes on the boards to see what the fans have been saying.
SAMLICKER83: OMG OMG OMG RUDE. HOW COULD THEY NOT SHOW SAM UNTIL 10 MINUTES INTO THE EPISODE? DIE GAMBLE. DIEE.
DEANQUEEN: OMG Sam was such an asshole.
FLASHYCAS: Y U NO PUT CAS IN THE EPISODE, GAMBLE?
RAINBOWSHIT: Worst episode of Supernatural ever. What was with Sam's crappy music?
Sam frowns, seriously what's the problem with his music?
BieberSexx: Oh yay, they used a Bieber song!
Sam winces as he sees all the replies that have been sent to "BieberSexx", he has to admit it Bieber kind of sucks. But it's fun to see Dean getting all worked up whenever he's forced to listen to him. Sam takes out his phone and calls Dean's cell.
"And I was like
Baby, baby, baby ohhh
Like baby, baby, baby noo
Like baby, baby, baby ohh
I thought youd always be mine mine"
"SAM? DID YOU SET THIS FUCKING SONG AS MY RINGTONE? I'M GOING TO KILL YOU"