Comments | sienata: Another Love Letter

sienata

Another Love Letter

May 03, 2010 00:50

Canon. 1111 words of sad.

Sometimes, when it gets really bad and the whiskey hits me just right, I think back to that first time… I go over it all in my mind, all the different moves that allowed that first time to come to pass, and I wonder what my life woulda been like if even one of those moves hadn’t happened, or had come about in a slightly ( Read more... )

a love letter, oneshot

Comments 34

luvenck May 3 2010, 06:20:19 UTC

CANON!!!!!! I can't believe it, and damn good it was too. You wrapped up their whole story in this one shot. Jack started seeming pretty bitter towards the end, but I do understand him. We all knew Ennis wasn't ever going to change. Poor Jack. He loved so deeply. For 20 years. **I'm choking-here** ...and if he really would have had a life with Randall, he would have still loved Ennis. Forever.

I am amazed how you said so much, in so little. Very Good Canon.
Thanks, Love, Cat

sienata May 3 2010, 23:34:11 UTC

yeah, i totally don't think randall would've ever replaced ennis in jack's heart, but i think that jack was worn out with what they were doing and ready for something better, even if it wasn't with his true love. at some point, as you get older, you want to be content more than you want anything else... at least, that's what i believe.

thanks for reading. s.

samtyr May 3 2010, 06:31:14 UTC

Excellent canon piece. Poor Jack, and poor Ennis. :'(

sienata May 3 2010, 23:36:24 UTC

i definitely feel sorry for them both. and this is not meant at all as a bash ennis piece. i know that ennis has his side of the story that's just as tough for him to bear, but this is just how jack feels, or at least how I think he must feel after so many years of goodbyes and spending almost all his time wishing he was with someone else. at least with randall, it's not a total lie. :(

thanks for reading. s.

tizi17 May 3 2010, 06:47:16 UTC

wonderful wonderful little gem.. thank you so much! a great surprise!

sienata May 3 2010, 23:36:44 UTC

thanks for reading. i'm glad it hit the spot for you. s.

eandj May 3 2010, 08:55:30 UTC

thank you so much
this is sad but so true- maybe it would have made a difference- probably not
Paula

sienata May 3 2010, 23:39:34 UTC

do you ever go back and say, "if only i'd not done that one thing, everything would be different?" i just imagined jack wondering about that, like how maybe his life would've been totally different if he and ennis had missed that one, perfect opportunity. maybe he would've still been gay, but maybe he wouldn't have fallen in love with someone who couldn't handle it, or maybe he wouldn't have fallen in love at all.

as the story went on, however, jack was never able to imagine what his life would've been like without ennis. all he could do was beat himself up for letting his years get away, unfulfilled.

that, to me, is very sad, to feel you've wasted all your good time and now you're looking at starting over when it's probably too late. for jack, it was definitely too late. :(

eandj May 4 2010, 05:31:55 UTC

I think life would've been easier for both of them and i think they would've been happier in the long run.
Yes they would'nt have found someone to love so fiercely for sure but most of the bad and desperate times they would not have to endure either
but after the first night together it wasn't their decision no more
Paula

annabuffy May 3 2010, 10:42:41 UTC

That was excellent and really does sum up their relationship. If Jack had had that realization sooner and let go he may have not gotten killed. Good to see you back. Any chance of some more of The Joys of Cooking and Sex? It was sexy and fun.

sienata May 3 2010, 23:43:00 UTC

I really wanted to rework Joy as a submittable story, because i felt like Jack's character was too flat. however, whenever i tried to change it, i couldn't. so that's still my plan, and i'm hoping that when i get done with the story i'm working on now, that i might be able to do something with it. i'm glad you enjoyed it.

as for this, i guess i'm just feeling sad and this issue has always haunted me - that jack spent so much time trying to do everything he could to move a mountain that wasn't going anywhere. i know he loved ennis and ennis loved him, but i still just hate how it all played out for jack. i see me in jack, and those wasted years and emotions aren't something i'm proud of; i guess i just imagine jack might've felt the same way when he finally faced up to what was really going on. :/