Vday: fic: Three Things That Never Happened to Elizabeth Weir (SGA)
Written for rageprufrock's 14 Valentines challenge. Please consider donating money and/or time to Vday.org or another women's charity, local or global. You know why.
Also, it's Wear Red Day. Ergo, Elizabeth.
Title: Three Things That Never Happened to Elizabeth Weir
Author: siegeofangels
Fandom: SGA
Rated G, gen
Disclaimer: Stargate: Atlantis is the property of someone not me. No copyright infringement is intended.
Notes: Someday I'll write something in this fandom that isn't crack. That day is not today. This began life as commentfic for that queen of the crossover, melannen, here.
Summary: Three things that never happened to Elizabeth Weir, mostly because of copyright issues.
1.
"They thought I could end the drought on their village," Elizabeth said, her hands around a mug of tea, feeling nowhere near as rattled as she should have been considering she'd been captured offworld for the first time. "They wanted me to translate something from the Ancient--there was this enormous cavern and a very rousing speech and everything would have been fine had you not burst in with guns blazing! Was stealing a puddlejumper really neccessary?"
"Yes!" Rodney said indignantly as John said, "We did not steal it!"
"I see," said Elizabeth. "You just took it without informing anyone else, causing people to infer that you had both lost your minds and Colonel Caldwell to take the Daedalus after you."
"We didn't have time to fill out forms," John said. "For all we knew, they were going to sacrifice you."
"Plus, it looked like they had a ZPM with them."
John kicked Rodney underneath the table.
"--er, I mean, your safety was of the utmost importance."
There was silence for a moment.
"Did you stop the drought?" John said quietly.
"Actually, yes," Elizabeth said. "It turned out it was a translation problem. . . . We got the ZPM?"
"No," Rodney said sheepishly. "It wasn't really a ZPM, just a carafe of wine that looked like one from a distance. They did give us the wine, though."
"Well, drink up," said Elizabeth. "I have a feeling neither of you will be having much leisure time in the near future."
2.
It was only a couple of months after they'd gotten to Atlantis: still getting settled in, actually, when the gate alarm sounded. Unscheduled offworld activation.
"Dr. Weir!" the gate tech shouted. "It's Earth!"
Elizabeth ran down the stairs. "Let them in!" she said.
No one came through the gate, just a tiny data packet informing them that the Atlantis expedition had been cancelled and all personnel were being recalled to Earth.
She stared at the tech who had read the message, shellshocked.
John skidded to a stop beside her. "We can't go," he said. "The Wraith . . . . We can't leave Atlantis."
"I know," she said. "Anyone who wants to should be able to go back, but we can't abandon it. We have to fight the Wraith, we've got a chance."
"A chance at what? Getting killed?" Kavanagh said, materializing next to them.
"Please," Elizabeth said, desperate, and tapped her radio for citywide to tell her people they could go home. One half hour.
"You know what we're doing here," she said to Kavanagh. "What still has to be done. There'll never be another chance like this again."
He looked at her like she was an idiot. "I don't want to die here."
Elizabeth stared back, the hard-as-diamonds look that made people crumble. Never say die. "Then don't," she said.
3.
"John, when I'm--you know--when I'm Ascended, will you come up here sometimes?"
"Just me?"
"Yes, John."
"Will you be here too?"
"Yes, John, I will be really. I promise I will be, John."
"That's good," said John.
"John, promise you won't forget about me, ever. Not even when I'm a hundred."
John thought for a little.
"How old will I be then?"
"Ninety-nine."
John nodded.
"I promise," he said.
Still with her eyes on the ocean Elizabeth put out a hand and felt for John's hand.
"John," said Elizabeth earnestly, "if I--if I'm not quite--" she stopped and tried again-- "John, whatever happens, you will understand, won't you?"
"Understand what?"
"Oh, nothing." She laughed and jumped to her feet. "Come on!"
"Where?" said John.
"Anywhere," said Elizabeth.
***
That would be Pirates of the Caribbean, The Goonies, and House at Pooh Corner. The dialogue in #3 is taken directly from House at Pooh Corner. I am clearly also not the owner of any of these.
Also, it's Wear Red Day. Ergo, Elizabeth.
Title: Three Things That Never Happened to Elizabeth Weir
Author: siegeofangels
Fandom: SGA
Rated G, gen
Disclaimer: Stargate: Atlantis is the property of someone not me. No copyright infringement is intended.
Notes: Someday I'll write something in this fandom that isn't crack. That day is not today. This began life as commentfic for that queen of the crossover, melannen, here.
Summary: Three things that never happened to Elizabeth Weir, mostly because of copyright issues.
1.
"They thought I could end the drought on their village," Elizabeth said, her hands around a mug of tea, feeling nowhere near as rattled as she should have been considering she'd been captured offworld for the first time. "They wanted me to translate something from the Ancient--there was this enormous cavern and a very rousing speech and everything would have been fine had you not burst in with guns blazing! Was stealing a puddlejumper really neccessary?"
"Yes!" Rodney said indignantly as John said, "We did not steal it!"
"I see," said Elizabeth. "You just took it without informing anyone else, causing people to infer that you had both lost your minds and Colonel Caldwell to take the Daedalus after you."
"We didn't have time to fill out forms," John said. "For all we knew, they were going to sacrifice you."
"Plus, it looked like they had a ZPM with them."
John kicked Rodney underneath the table.
"--er, I mean, your safety was of the utmost importance."
There was silence for a moment.
"Did you stop the drought?" John said quietly.
"Actually, yes," Elizabeth said. "It turned out it was a translation problem. . . . We got the ZPM?"
"No," Rodney said sheepishly. "It wasn't really a ZPM, just a carafe of wine that looked like one from a distance. They did give us the wine, though."
"Well, drink up," said Elizabeth. "I have a feeling neither of you will be having much leisure time in the near future."
2.
It was only a couple of months after they'd gotten to Atlantis: still getting settled in, actually, when the gate alarm sounded. Unscheduled offworld activation.
"Dr. Weir!" the gate tech shouted. "It's Earth!"
Elizabeth ran down the stairs. "Let them in!" she said.
No one came through the gate, just a tiny data packet informing them that the Atlantis expedition had been cancelled and all personnel were being recalled to Earth.
She stared at the tech who had read the message, shellshocked.
John skidded to a stop beside her. "We can't go," he said. "The Wraith . . . . We can't leave Atlantis."
"I know," she said. "Anyone who wants to should be able to go back, but we can't abandon it. We have to fight the Wraith, we've got a chance."
"A chance at what? Getting killed?" Kavanagh said, materializing next to them.
"Please," Elizabeth said, desperate, and tapped her radio for citywide to tell her people they could go home. One half hour.
"You know what we're doing here," she said to Kavanagh. "What still has to be done. There'll never be another chance like this again."
He looked at her like she was an idiot. "I don't want to die here."
Elizabeth stared back, the hard-as-diamonds look that made people crumble. Never say die. "Then don't," she said.
3.
"John, when I'm--you know--when I'm Ascended, will you come up here sometimes?"
"Just me?"
"Yes, John."
"Will you be here too?"
"Yes, John, I will be really. I promise I will be, John."
"That's good," said John.
"John, promise you won't forget about me, ever. Not even when I'm a hundred."
John thought for a little.
"How old will I be then?"
"Ninety-nine."
John nodded.
"I promise," he said.
Still with her eyes on the ocean Elizabeth put out a hand and felt for John's hand.
"John," said Elizabeth earnestly, "if I--if I'm not quite--" she stopped and tried again-- "John, whatever happens, you will understand, won't you?"
"Understand what?"
"Oh, nothing." She laughed and jumped to her feet. "Come on!"
"Where?" said John.
"Anywhere," said Elizabeth.
***
That would be Pirates of the Caribbean, The Goonies, and House at Pooh Corner. The dialogue in #3 is taken directly from House at Pooh Corner. I am clearly also not the owner of any of these.