Pleased to meet you
Title: Pleased to meet you
Author: me
Fandom: Supernatural/ Dark Angel
Disclaimer: I own nothing and no-one. I would try and make this comment more interesting but I'm too tired to care.
Summary: A sequel to Isn't it surprising - Or Alec McDowell meets the rest of the Winchesters
Thanks to
twinkiecat and
mayalaen for looking this for me.
When John Winchester wanted to move fast, by hell he could, which for anyone who first met him, it could be quite a surprise, considering he came across as a quiet, imposing man who was probably set in his ways.
Joshua had given John the keys to Father’s old house saying that, as Logan wasn’t using it anymore, then someone should, and in the few days since the cardiologist had said yes to seeing Billy, John had cleaned up the place, moved in new furniture, as well as arranging whatever medical needs his children might have.
Ellen had been called, and she was setting up the move, arranging the sale of the roadhouse and land that it and their home was on, not that she had to look hard for a buyer - the people who owned the diner in town had been trying to get her to sell for years. She had the van packed in less than half an hour of receiving the money, taking the vitals that she and Billy needed, arranging for everything else to sent on.
It had taken a few days for them to reach Seattle, Billy being wrapped up warm blanket, sound asleep in the back seat as Ellen pulled up in front of the old house. As Billy settled into his room, Ellen looked around; she found she couldn’t complain about the setup that John had put in place.
Alec stayed away, not getting in John’s way, although Max and some of the others had helped the family move in, though Alec was less than obvious that he was watching the house.
As the others left, she found her daughter putting the last of the kitchen things away.
“Where’s your father?” Ellen asked.
“With Billy, I think.”
Ellen nodded. “Sit down.”
Molly swallowed. Talking to her dad was one thing, because she had always known the little ways she could use to talk to him, even when he was in a foul mood. What daughter didn’t know how to talk to her father? But this was the conversation, this one, where there’d be no yelling, because they were past that point, that one she was really dreading, because when her mother went quiet, that meant it was really serious, “Are you going to tell me that I shouldn’t have it?”
“No,” Ellen said as she shook her head. “But you are going to tell me what you are thinking.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“I know you never dreamed of having a baby like this, but you are.”
“I know that...”
“I am not finished,” Ellen said calmly. “You are going to tell me exactly what the doctor said, what Alec’s said, and every thought in your head.”
Molly nodded.
“And I’m not your father, so don’t you think for one second think that bringing the fact that Alec is the father of this child and that means Dean and Mary is part of that baby is going to cut any discussion short,” Ellen said. “Now sit down.”
Molly did as she was told.
Ellen sighed before she put out a hand. “Molly, whatever happens, whatever you decide, I love you, and I’m not going anywhere, all right?” Ellen said.
Molly held back a tear as she took her mother’s hand. “I know.”
“But having a baby is never easy, even when you’ve got everything on your side, let alone like this. Do you understand that?”
Molly nodded. “Yes, Mom, I do.”
John stood in the living room as Ellen came out from talking to Molly. “And?”
“And what?” Ellen asked.
“You talked to her?” John asked.
“Yes,” Ellen said crossing her arms. “I did.”
“She hasn’t changed her mind.”
“You expect her to?” Ellen asked.
“And you’re happy to leave it like this?”
“What do you expect me to do, John? Tell her that she has to get rid of it?” Ellen asked.
John didn’t reply.
“She’s going through with this, and if Alec wants to be a part of it, he is going to be unless she says otherwise, and that is the end of it,” Ellen said firmly as she walked away.
--------------------------------------
Logan had gotten back to Max about what she had told him about Alec and Molly’s stories. The information he had found showed that the area in question had been cited for toxic waste dumping by the EPA for years and there had been a number of incidents of local wildlife acting out of character, attacking visitors to the area, though some of these attacks may have involved local townspeople although no arrests had ever been made. He had been told by a couple of contacts that it was theoretically possible that the toxins in the area had combined to create a number of chemicals that could cause the behaviour that both Molly and Alec had described, but without knowing the specifics of everything that had been dumped, they couldn’t say anything for sure.
When Max and Logan put this information to John and Ellen, the couple told them it didn’t matter. Max had asked why, saying it showed that what Logan had found corroborated what both Alec and Molly had told them, that it hadn’t been consensual on either side. John had turned to her, saying that he knew exactly what went down because he had been the one to find them.
“Why won’t anyone listen?” Molly said from the doorway where she had stood silently as Max and Logan had told her parents what they had found. “Alec wasn’t to blame. It happened, but it wasn’t his fault, so will you all stop thinking the worst of him? I’m the one that put him in that position.”
“Molly,” Ellen said, trying to calm Molly down.
“No, Mom. As it was he was damn lucky not to end up dead, because that is what could have happened. I could have killed him.”
“You don’t know that,” John replied.
“Yes I do, and so do you, Dad,” Molly said. “That thing took me over. I was faster, stronger, and I almost killed Mom. It was me that fucked up. I wanted to play hunter to impress Kenny. We went into a job that went south, but instead of me and Kenny paying the price it was me and Alec.”
“Molly, you don’t have to explain anything,” Logan said. “You can’t blame yourself. You shouldn’t, not in...”
“What, in my condition? My condition doesn’t change things. I got pregnant because Alec tried to save me. I got pregnant because something took my body for a walk and found it couldn’t kill him.”
“You told us this,” Max said. “And I believe you.”
“Do you Max?” Molly asked. “Isn’t there a part of you that wonders?”
Max shook her head. “No. I know Alec. He’d never...”
“What about you, Logan?” Molly asked.
Logan took a second. “Honestly, I don’t want to, but I don’t know.”
John and Ellen looked at the man.
“I can’t blame you for that,” John said, causing Ellen to glare at her husband.
Molly started to cry as they listened to her. “I don’t care if you guys can’t get your head around the supernatural shit, but what you have to get your head around the fact that it wasn’t Alec’s fault. It was me that screwed up, and I took him down with me. I should have known better, and now we are both paying for this, because I’m pregnant, and he doesn’t trust himself anymore.”
“But if there were chemicals and dumping in that place, it shows that neither one of you were responsible,” Max said.
“No, it shows you that,” Molly said. “I’ve always known that Alec wasn’t to blame, and I’m tired of saying it. He doesn’t need anybody to try to fill my or his head about chemicals being sprayed as an explanation of what happened. We know what happened. We were there. You weren’t. So why don’t you leave it alone, let us get over it? Why can’t you let us move on in our own way?”
“But if it is chemicals, then...”
“Then what? Does that make it better, Max? Please tell me how?” Molly asked. “How does thinking that chemicals that made us act that way make it better? How does Alec thinking that it could happen again if he comes in contact with whatever they were dumping going to make him feel better? Anyway it wasn’t. It was something that you can’t understand, something you don’t want to understand.”
“Okay, I don’t understand. Maybe I don’t want to, and I know it is your decision, Molly, and I respect you for it, but if it is hurting both you and him so much are, are you so sure that going through with having the baby is the right thing for you?” Max asked.
Ellen clenched her jaw in response to Max’s statement. “She’s made her decision, Max.”
“We are only trying to help,” Logan said, trying to calm down the situation, “give you all the facts so you can you move on.”
“She’s got all the facts. We all do,” John said coldly, “and I’d appreciate it if you didn’t come in here to flat out tell my family that we don’t.”
“John, we aren’t saying that you don’t know what happened,” Max said, “but Alec is beating himself up, and the only people that can help him are in this house.”
“This isn’t your problem, girl,” John replied, “and how my family deals with this isn’t your business.”
“Like hell it isn’t!” she replied, causing John to glower at her.
“Logan, it might be an idea to get her out of right now,” Ellen said, glancing over at the expression on her husband’s face.
As Ellen showed Logan and Max to the door, she turned to them. “I know you are trying to understand what happened, but it’s best you don’t, and you don’t want to push either John or Alec on this.”
“I just want to help,” Max said, “both you guys and Alec.”
“Well, you’re not,” Ellen said coldly. “Like you said, we’re the only ones that can help him, and John ain’t ready for that. Anything that you two do now is just going to make things worse.”
“Ellen, you don’t know that,” Logan replied.
“Like hell I don’t. You may know Alec, but so do I, and I know Winchester men, known them since before you two were born, and Alec is as much one as the rest of them,” Ellen said firmly. “What Alec needs now is John. Molly’s told him what he needs to hear from her. Now he needs to hear from John, not to forgive him, not to tell him things are going to be okay, but to say that it is done. Then he can move on, and that is something John isn’t ready to do. Just like John needs Alec to tell him the same thing, because Molly is right. John blames himself for it happening, and only Alec can tell him otherwise, and can you tell me Alec is ready for that?
Max shook her head.
“You got to leave it, and give them time,” Ellen replied.
“I’m sorry, but I can’t stand back and watch him like this.”
“Well tough shit, Max, you’re going to have to, because you know damn well it is going to worse before it gets better, and there is not a damn thing you can do about it,” Ellen said, “but it will get better.”
“And until then?” Max asked. “Alec is breaking inside...”
“And he’s not going pick himself up until he’s ready to! You trying to make things right for him ain’t going change that,” Ellen snapped, before she sighed. “This is my family, Max, and I told you once I take care of my own. It ain’t always pretty, and it takes time, but that is what I do, but if you can’t handle that, you’d better stay out of the way while I do it.”
----------------------------------------------
Alec wasn’t sure what to do about anything. He felt kind of helpless about the baby, the Winchesters, about everything. He felt that he hadn’t the right to feel anything else considering what he had done. Not that anyone outside the family and the small circle of Max, Logan, Cindy and Joshua knew the whole story.
At first he threw himself into work, though in his off time he seemed to take things to extremes, either avoiding everyone or by getting drunk and trying to party, but at the end of the night, he always found himself alone apart from the times he woke up at his place not sure how he’d gotten there. Then Max would appear with a glass of water and some pills for his hangover. As time went on, he spent less and less time at command, though it was always a silent Max who still seemed to be the one to be there when he woke up from the night before.
Apart from one time when he woke up somewhere else, somewhere he never in his life expected to be.
“Do you need the bucket again?” Logan asked as a groggy Alec woke up.
He peered at the man, who was sitting in a chair at side of the bed.
“What?”
“You know if it wasn’t for the fact that I know you are a transgenic, I would have bet money on the fact that you’d be now be dead from alcohol poisoning considering the amount you drank last night.”
“Go to hell!” Alec slurred as he slowly got up to which Logan didn’t reply.
“Where are my clothes?” Alec asked, noticing the state of undress he was in, “What? Now that you and Max are definitely not happening, you needing to get your transgenic kicks some other way? You know you could have just asked. Might have given you a proper show.”
“Don’t flatter yourself,” Logan replied. “Your clothes are in the washer.”
“Why?”
“Why do you think I asked about the bucket?”
“Oh,” Alec slumped. “Can you loan me something right now, and I’ll pick them up later.”
Logan nodded. “Sure. You can use the shower, too, if you want.”
-----------------------------------
Logan was sitting at his terminal when went for the door .
“You could say thanks, you know,” Logan said as Alec went to leave.
“Thanks.”
“She isn’t going to keep bailing you out, not if you keep going on like this.”
Alec shut the door and turned. “What?”
“Max. You want to hurt yourself? Fine, Alec. Stop dragging her down with you.”
“What do you mean?” Alec asked.
“Where the hell do you think I found you last night?” Logan asked, to which Alec shrugged. Logan knotted his brow. “Jesus, Alec, you want to get yourself killed? Fine, go back down to gang turf and do what you were doing last night. Next time it won’t be me to find you, it’ll will be her, and you know damn well with the amount of people she’s pissed off down there, they won’t let both of you walk.”
“How did you find me?”
“Ellen called me, saying that someone might want to make sure you got home. Why she called me instead of Joshua or Max, I don’t know.”
“What?” a confused Alec asked. “How did she know where I was? I’m sure I lost...”
“The tail Max put on you? It looks like Max hasn’t been the only one covering your ass,” Logan said, raising an eyebrow. “Is it possible, considering the state you were in, that you missed the signs of Ellen’s ‘friends’?”
Alec looked at the ground sheepishly for a second. “How bad was I?”
“Bad,” Logan replied. “Alec, get some help, if not for your sake, for Max’s, for your family, for your baby, for whoever the hell it will take to make you go get some help.”
“I’m past that point,” Alec said turning round to leave.
Logan stood up. “Grow up, Alec. I don’t kid myself that I understand what is going on, what you went through, but you are acting like a spoiled kid right now.”
Alec turned, grabbed Logan by the throat, and pinned him to the wall. “Who the hell are you to judge me?”
Logan scrambled for a second before Alec let him go.
“I’m sorry,” Alec said stumbling backwards. “I shouldn’t... What the hell am I doing?”
Logan took a few seconds to gain his composure after getting back to his feet. “I don’t know, but whatever it is, you got to stop it.”
“I don’t know how,” he shamefully admitted.
“Cutting down on the drinking might be a start,” Logan replied, to which Alec didn’t reply for a second.
“Max got you to look things over, didn’t she?”
Logan nodded. “Yep, the town she said has been cited for a load of EPA infringements.”
“What did...? What did they say when you told them?” Alec asked.
Logan sighed. “Molly stuck to the possession story, said that she was ‘taken over,’ and that it decided to play with you.”
“And do you believe her?”
“Does it matter if I believe her?”
Alec shook his head. “No, not really.”
“They do--the Winchesters--if that is anything. Though John’s still angry,” Logan said. “Max thinks the chemicals did something to you and Molly, and the only way Molly can explain it is to hang on to the stuff she was brought up with.”
“So I get away clean, then?”
Logan shook his head at the mess of a man he saw in front of him. “I don’t know yet.”
Alec nodded and started toward the door. “Logan, thanks for checking, for doubting.”
“Sure?” Logan said, uncertain of Alec’s intent.
“Someone needed to; someone needed to make sure that I’m safe to be around.”
Logan sighed, rubbing his throat. “Yeah. Like you are that right now.”
Alec quit drinking as hard after that.
-------------------------------------------
As he started to clean himself up, Alec couldn’t help but find the slips of paper that Max had started to slip into his pocket with Molly or Billy’s appointment times on them. Not that he went, but he had found himself standing outside the clinic on more than one occasion.
The same thing seemed too happen with regard to the house, with John seeing Alec standing across the street most afternoons, even in the pouring rain. After a couple of weeks, Ellen crossed the street to talk to Alec. John watched as the boy seemed to give up the fight as the woman stood in front of him, letting go of some of the guilt as Ellen gave him a hug.
It got a little better after that, although Alec and John continued to avoid one another.
Molly started to grow, and Billy watched, fascinated about the whole thing. He enjoyed feeling the baby move. It took a while for Alec to feel comfortable about it, Ellen having to grab his hand one day, to force him to feel the movement of his unborn child, when he turned up at one of Molly’s doctor appointments.
Alec swallowed as he felt the baby move as Ellen left him and Molly alone to wait for the doctor to call. “That’s... I don’t know what that is.”
Molly smiled. “Baby is active today.”
“Right, not that I would know anything about this,” Alec said, his hand gently resting on the swell of Molly’s belly. “You sure you don’t want to know... the sex?”
“Do you?”
Alec shrugged. “It’s up to you.”
“Alec, if you want, we can find out.”
“It’s okay. Maybe for the best that I don’t know.”
“Everything is fine according to the doctor.”
“I know,” Alec replied, taking his hand away. “Anyway it’s what you want.”
“Alec, if you’re not sure about being involved...”
He shook his head. “No, it isn’t that, I think. Hell, Molly, I don’t know. I know it’s my kid, something I never really thought I’d live to see happen, but why do you want me here? It’s not like you expect anything else, is it?”
“Oh, yes, definitely. It was all a grand plan,” she answered sarcastically, causing his face to fall. “Look, we both know that we don’t care about each other that way. It was a stupid accident that has got us here.”
“Some accident?” Alec replied. “It wasn’t a drunken night out that got us here.”
“No, but we are here. Well, I’m here. If you want out, you still have time, because as much as I would like my baby to have its father around, I’m not having you go into this, and then change your mind. Do you understand?”
Alec nodded. “Yeah, but why me, Molly? Why put yourself through having me around?”
“Because you are this baby’s father, and the only one it is likely to get, because I’m swearing off men,” Molly said firmly. “I keep telling you I don’t blame you, and one day I hope you can be able to forgive me.”
Alec shook his head. “Nothing to forgive.”
Molly didn’t reply as she sat in the clinic waiting area.
“Moll, don’t let what happened stop you from moving on,” Alec said. “I know what with both me and Kenny you’ve been probably been put off guys for life, but...”
“Not for life, Alec. Yeah, I’m not going to say I don’t have nightmares about what happened. I do, just like you probably do, and Kenny taking off hurt, but I’m not going to stand still,” Molly said, cutting Alec off. “It’s just for a while until I’m ready. I don’t know when that will be, but I’m not going to let what happened define the rest of my life.”
“You know you are too well adjusted for your own good, you know that?” Alec said.
Molly smiled. “Well a shrink costs too much not to be. Anyway, with my life, what would I say?”
“Well there is always the truth,” Alec said, smirking.
“Sure, that would go down well. Hi doc, I got possessed by a ghost cat, and now I’m knocked up by a transgenic, who the ghost cat mind whammied, with major trust issues. But it’s not like he’s a stranger or anything, because he is actually the clone of a man who saved my life when I was three, and who disappeared a few weeks later when he, his brother, and my adopted mom’s daughter brought his dad back from the dead, who is now also my dad.”
“You know that story is screaming out for film-of-the-week status.”
“Film-of-the-week? Not a blockbuster?”
“I don’t know. Miniseries?”
“Okay. Miniseries I could live with,” she said with a small smile on her face.
“Has Kenny been in touch at all?” Alec asked tentatively
Molly shook her head. “No, but I heard he’s taken up with a girl somewhere in Georgia.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Not your fault, and it wouldn’t matter if he hadn’t,” she said. “He took off when I really needed him. All he had to do was be there, and he couldn’t do that. From what I can tell, he didn’t even check in later to see if I was okay, and that hurts. But I’ll survive, and I’ll move on when I’m ready. Same thing goes for you, too, you know--the moving on from this.”
“I know,” he said, looking away.
“And as for Dad, give him some time Alec. He’ll come round, though it might help if you came to the house when he was there.”
“Yeah, right.”
“Alec, are you listening to me?” Molly asked as Alec continued to watch the crowd.
He nodded as he turned to face her. “Yeah.”
“But are you hearing me?”
“Don’t, Moll,” he said, cutting her off. “I get enough of that from Max.”
“Really?”
“She just goes on and on.”
“What about?”
“Just stuff. Don’t want to bore you.”
“Alec.”
“It’s nothing,” Alec said, to which Molly shot him a look. “We were talking about stuff.”
“What stuff?”
“About Manitcore. About how we all grew up. About this.”
“So?”
“She says, even though I shouldn’t blame myself about how you got pregnant, I’ve got this big chance, and I should grab it with both hands.”
Molly smiled. “So Max talked you into being here?”
Alec shook his head. “No. Molly, I grew up in a place where we were really just pieces of meat, you know? We all knew what the handlers thought of us--we were expendable.”
She nodded. “And you don’t want the baby to go through that.”
He rubbed the back of his neck. “Kind of. Not that I’d ever think that you’d ever make it feel like that.”
“I know.”
“Also Max reminded me that, while I’m sitting feeling sorry for myself, other people aren’t, and how would I feel if I something happened to it or to you if they found out about you being pregnant.”
“Excuse me?”
Alec sighed. “Look, Moll, I’m not trying to scare you or anything, especially seeing as how you shouldn’t be stressed.”
She glared at him. “Will people stop saying that! I’m pregnant, not dying.”
“I know.”
“So what are you trying not to frighten me about?”
“Molly, I know you are in Seattle because of the doctors, but you got to realise that here isn’t like back at the Roadhouse.”
“Really?” she asked sarcastically. “The buildings, people, and the rain weren’t a giveaway.”
“Molly, I’m being serious,” Alec said. “There are a lot of people out there that might want to hurt you or ‘it’ because they aren’t going to like a half transgenic and half ordinary being out there.”
“Well I don’t know about you. I wasn’t exactly going to announce that part in the papers.”
“You know what I mean.”
She nodded, conceding his point. “And Max reminded you of this?”
“Yeah, and she was right about it. I want the kid to know that, even though how it got here was screwed up, someone’s always going to watch its back, no matter what when its mom can’t. It deserves that, just like any kid deserves to know that someone is looking out for it. My kid deserves...,” he stopped for a second, not sure how to continue. “And I’ll do that if you want, even if you change your mind about me being its father and want me to be its ‘Uncle’ or something else instead.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, and I figure you’re going to be looking out for the supernatural crap, which I don’t understand, so I’ll take care of the other stuff that needs looking out for because that’s what a dad does, right?”
Molly smiled. “You know, I think that is the sweetest way you can say that you want to step up I can think of.”
“Oh hell, Moll. Don’t say you’re going to start crying on me,” Alec said as Molly began to sniff.
“It’s just hormones,” Molly said as she found a tissue in her bag.
“Hormones?” Alec said, “That all?”
“Yes, that’s all. I’m up and down every five minutes right now.”
“Okay, and that’s normal?”
“Yes, Alec, that is normal. One minute I’m fine, then I’m crying, and then the next I’m as horny as hell.”
“Excuse me?” Alec said slightly surprised.
“Forget it,” she quickly replied, before muttering. “Obviously, blunt honesty is also coming along with everything else now.”
Alec sat there in silence for a few moments not sure what to say.
“You thought of names yet?” Molly asked, trying to change the subject, “because Billy has been trawling through books the past couple of days.”
Alec smiled. “I’ve not exactly thought. Been given a list.”
“List?” Molly asked as he pulled a scrap of paper out of his pocket.
“Yeah, Luke thought I might want some ideas. Biggs told him he should write them down, though it reads more like a census than anything else,” Alec replied. “Told him you were having one and not a litter - it is definitely just one isn’t it? They couldn’t have been wrong with the scan, could they?”
“No, it is one,” Molly said, taking the paper.
Alec seemed to relax a little as she started to look at the pages. “Yeah, there are some whacked out ones, but I figure you might like some of them.”
She studied the page, “Okay, I’m vetoing Oreo and Almond Joy. I am not having a kid named after a cookie, and even though it’s a candy bar, it would make the kid sound like a cheap price stripper.”
“So you’re saying no to all snack food-related ideas, then?” Alec asked, to which Molly just glared at him. “What about designations? We could have the first kid in a normal kindergarten with the same name as a prime number sequence. Or ‘Prime.’ That could be good.”
“I was thinking William if it is a boy. What do you think?”
“After Billy?” Alec asked.
Molly nodded. “Yeah. What with him being sick and all, I think he’d like that.”
“Yeah, but what if it is a girl?”
“I don’t know. Billy had an idea.”
Alec knotted his brow. “Is this a good idea or in the same league as the one involving the tennis racket and the ice cream.”
“It’s okay. It’s kind of involving our moms.”
“‘Our’ moms?” Alec said. “Technically, I don’t know if I really can say I have one. I had a surrogate and all, but seeing as how I never saw her after the day I was born, I can’t say that we were really close so...”
“You know what I mean. My birth mom, your genetic mom, and Mom,” Molly explained.
“Right,” Alec said. “I don’t get you.”
As Molly explained the conversation she had had with her brother to Alec, they didn’t see the silent figure that was standing in the doorway of the clinic. Max stood there and watched the confusion on Alec’s face lift as he and Molly talked and his smile when Molly grabbed his hand and moved it to her stomach. She saw his joy as he obviously felt his child move again. It was like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders, giving him the first real moment of happiness she had seen cross his face in a long time.
Molly said something to him before he started to hesitantly talk to her stomach. Max couldn’t hear what he said in the din of the busy clinic, but whatever it was, Molly began to laugh, causing Alec to stop talking and look up at her. Molly gently swatted him, causing him to say something to her before he went back to talking to the swell of the belly that housed ‘their’ growing child.
Max stood there for a few more moments, silently watching them together, not saying a word before she turned and left before Alec and Molly realised that she had ever been there.
-----------------------------------------------
Billy was happy, although he was getting tired more easily than he used to, he enjoyed seeing all the new things, spending some time with the younger transgenics, as well as finding out Curly was doing okay -- she had found that there were loads of transgenic that were like her that she could make friends with. He was going to a day center for children with learning disabilities when he was well enough, as well as making friends with some of the younger X6s, who found spending time at the Winchester house not only fun but a great excuse to dodge out of school that they were now being forced to attend.
Molly spent a lot of time with Gem and Eve, finding out about what she could possibly expect even though her child would only be half transgenic. Max encouraged it, giving Gem time off from her duties in command to allow her to help Molly and Alec with the relatively uncharted waters they were going into.
Max watched as Alec started to fit again in his little whacked-out world again, trying not to feel left out, not to feel a little jealous as Alec went through a set of experiences that she couldn’t imagine. Not that she told him how she felt, not wanting to impose on things, knowing that he had enough shit going on around in his own head to deal with the stuff that was going on in hers.
Cindy had let them know that there was a small place opening up in her building, large enough for Molly and the baby after it was born, and it was near Terminal City, allowing Alec to be close by if he wanted as well as the clinic, just in case. Normal said he knew someone who could get some half-decent baby furniture, and had even got Sketchy involved to do the heavy lifting. Ellen and John weren’t happy about the idea, but Ellen could understand why her daughter would need her own space.
Billy had had enough by then--the tension between his father and Alec--taking things into his own hands, getting a number of transgenic to help. At any other time John would have been impressed by his youngest son’s tenacity, although on day four being stuck in a row boat on a lake in the middle of nowhere, being impressed was not exactly how he felt.
“Can you talk to them again?” he said, not looking at Alec.
Alec shrugged. “Not like they’re listening to me.”
Alec pulled at the chain around his leg.
“You’ve been at that for four days. Unless you cut your damn foot off, you ain’t getting out of it.”
“Thanks for the advice, but have you got a better idea? Because the only other one I’ve got is sinking this fucking boat, but we’d probably drown.”
John turned around to see the lights go on in the cabin.
“I’ll take that as a no, then,” Alec said, returning to what he was doing.
John picked up a ration pack and threw it at Alec. “You should eat something.”
“I’m fine,” Alec replied.
“You haven’t eaten or drank anything since we’ve been here.”
“Haven’t been hungry.”
“Bullshit!” John muttered.
Alec looked up. “Excuse me?”
“You heard me,” John said.
“It’s not me that looks like they need a good meal,” Alec said, causing John to turn his back on him. The man had lost a lot of weight lately, and Alec was pretty sure that not all of John’s visits to the hospital were to ask about how Billy was doing, but if the man didn’t want to talk about it, then it was his deal.
“Fine,” Alec said picking up the packet. “I’ll eat. Happy?”
John looked away, causing Alec to sigh. “That’ll be another no?”
“No, I’m not happy,” John replied. “Do you expect me to be happy?”
“No, I expect you to be angry. I expect you to do something, anything,” Alec said.
“What? It wasn’t your fault. I know that. You know that. The world knows that.”
Alec threw the packet down. “You let me in your home. I ate at your table, then I go and do something like that, and you didn’t do anything.”
“If you hadn’t been there, then I don’t know what would have happened. Ellen and Molly would probably be dead,” John admitted. “But none of you should have had to be there.”
“Well we were, and now we have a big mess.”
“Yeah we do, don’t we?”
“Well, what do we do now?” Alec asked.
John sighed. “How the hell do you expect me to know? What do you want me to do?” John asked. “Hit you? Shoot you?”
“I don’t know.”
“Anyway, anything I could do to you can’t be worse to what you’re doing to yourself,” John said.
“Doing to myself?”
“You’re still tearing yourself up inside,” John said coldly.
Alec shook his head. “Whoopee do.”
“Guess I understand why,” John said, trying to sound a little sympathetic. “You can’t work out if you’re the victim or the perp.”
Alec clenched his jaw. “I’m no victim!”
“Molly’s gotten over it for the most part. You haven’t.”
“She hasn’t got any reason not to. She isn’t to blame for any of it.”
“No, that is one of the few things we agree on,” John replied. “She’s looking to the future now, the baby.”
“Right,” Alec said.
“You changed your mind about sticking around for it?”
Alec shot John a dirty look. “Even if Molly changes her mind about me being a part of this, that kid won’t go wanting.”
“Good,” John said flatly.
“You thought I would let her do everything on her own?”
“Would you have?”
Alec hesitated for a moment. “How the hell can you say that?”
“I don’t know.”
Alec shook his head, “You really don’t know me, do you?”
John clenched his jaw. “After what happened, what do you expect me think about you?”
“I don’t know, John. You tell me!” Alec spat out. “I’m sorry. I screwed up. I should have worked out what was happening and got out of there before it took over, but I didn’t. I can’t take that back. I don’t know what else I can do. Do you want me to leave? Because I can. I can go somewhere else if that is what you guys want.”
John shook his head. “No, it is done now, and this place is your home more than ours.”
“So if don’t want me to go and you want to stick around for the baby, what is the problem?”
“Okay, I forgot, I forgot!” John yelled.
“What?” Alec was confused.
“I forgot. I let my guard down and forgot what the hell you are. I should have known better, shouldn’t have let you and Ellen go. I should have been the one to go get Molly, not you two. But I couldn’t because I fucked up and broke my fucking arm, so I sent you, even though I knew that part of you isn’t human, but I didn’t want to see that.”
“What the hell has me being a transgenic got to do with this?”
“Everything,” John yelled. “Because of that, the rules are different for you, not that it is your fault for that, but they are, and because of that, Molly spent two weeks refusing to come out of her room, you ended up tied up begging me to kill you, Ellen was a mess because the only person her daughter would let near her was her little brother, and it was all because I forgot that things work differently for you than us, because if you had been human, it wouldn’t have happened.”
“So you can see the future now?” Alec said sarcastically. “Pop, you couldn’t have guessed that it was going to go down the way it did.”
“No, but I let you walk in there without all the facts of what could happen, and now we have to deal with the fallout from it,” John said.
“I’m trying to do that.”
John glowered at Alec, “You better do a damn sight better than try, because if you are going to be any use to Molly and that baby, you got to get past what happened out there, and if you can’t, it’d be better if you just got out of the way.”
Alec looked away, not sure how to answer that. “And there was me thinking that part of this was because you didn’t see me with her in that cave but Dean.”
“Alec, you aren’t Dean,” John said running a hand over his face. “You said it yourself when we got those results back. You’re never going to be Dean, so why the hell do you want to be now?”
“I don’t know. Isn’t that what you and Ellen wanted? What everybody wanted?”
“Where the hell did you get that idea from?” John asked.
Alec shrugged. “Oh hell, could have been when the guys at the Roadhouse went on about how I was supposed to fill his and Sam’s shoes, or when I went on the first hunt, when you gave me his gun. Hell, I’m surprised you didn’t call me Dean more often.”
“When the hell did I call you Dean?” John asked.
“The day you fell off the roof,” Alec replied.
“When they pumped me full of painkillers?” John asked.
“Yeah,” Alec replied.
John clenched his jaw. “So you’re holding that one time when I was tanked up against me?”
Alec didn’t reply for a moment, “Isn’t part of this down to the fact when you saw me and Molly together, it twisted up that perfect image you got in your head of Dean? That not only did I screw up with her, but you’re angry that I took another part of him away from you.”
“Oh Christ, Alec.” John shook his head. “Dean wasn’t perfect. I miss him and Sam, and yeah, I admit it, I’m trying to make up for some of the crap I put them through with Billy, Molly, and you, but you aren’t Dean.”
“Yeah, sometimes I wonder if you know that.”
“Of course I fucking know that,” John said angrily. “You’re you, and if you’ve got into your stupid head of yours that you got to live up to who Dean was, then there isn’t anything I can say that is going to change your mind. But if you’re sticking by Molly because you think that is what he would do, then don’t, because it’s obvious, even though you’re trying you ain’t comfortable about it.”
“How the hell would you know how I feel?” Alec asked accusingly. “Jesus, John, the two of us haven’t even been in the same room since Ellen and Billy came out here.”
“You don’t think I know?” John retorted.
“Well you haven’t talked to me.”
“What the fuck do you want me to say?” John retorted, “That I don’t know that you’ve been turning up at Molly and Billy’s appointments. That you turn up at the house when I’m not there. That I haven’t heard that you keep asking her and Ellen if it’s a good idea for you to be around?”
“I’m trying to do the right thing, John, whatever the hell that is. I’m trying to do it! And yeah, sure I’m betting he’d have never fucked up so badly, but me trying to do what’s right has nothing to do with Dean. It never has. But you never thought about that, did you?” Alec said, causing John to look away as Alec continued. “All the time at Manticore, I did shit that I don’t want to think about, but never anything like that. I hurt people, I stole, I killed, but even when sex was part of the mission, I never forced myself on someone or took advantage of anyone who didn’t know what they would be getting into, even when I was given the go ahead to. I knew guys that did, understood part of why they did it even though I didn’t like it, but I always found another way because it felt sloppy and unprofessional, because I admit it, I used to take pride in my work, not to mention it felt wrong, and I promised myself I was never going to put anyone else through the same thing that Manticore did to...,”
John’s head shot round as Alec suddenly stopped talking. “What?”
“Nothing,” Alec replied quietly.
“Alec?” John asked angrily, “What the fuck were you going say?”
“Forget it--it is none of your goddamn business!”
John closed his eyes and ran a hand over his face, thinking that he should have guessed that the bastards in that place would have done something like that, even if they only considered it to be part of the training or as a punishment. Great. Without even knowing it, he had failed to protect another one, failed Alec in more ways than he’d ever failed the rest of them.
“But then I go meet you,” Alec said coldly. “You show me this hunting shit, and the next thing I know I’ve got something crawling in my head taking away all the control I’ve got while she’s pumping out more pheromones than one hundred females in the middle of their heat cycle, and I’m doing something I swore I’d never do to anyone, let alone someone I care about.”
“I’m sorry Alec,” John said. “I... I should have never asked you to go get Molly. I put you in that position; I can’t say anything against you blaming me.”
Alec shook his head. “No. I didn’t mean... Hell, John, it happened. Shit happens--shit I don’t understand. You didn’t know it was, but can you really blame me for feeling ‘uncomfortable’?”
John didn’t reply for a second. “No, I can’t, but you still beating yourself up about it ain’t doing anyone of us good.”
Alec looked away. “I know, but neither is you acting the way you are, because all I can see is that everybody else is being pulled apart, here.”
John nodded. “What are we going to do about it?”
“I don’t know, but we’d better do something.”
Two days later Mole and Joshua dragged the boat in.
Chapter 13
Author: me
Fandom: Supernatural/ Dark Angel
Disclaimer: I own nothing and no-one. I would try and make this comment more interesting but I'm too tired to care.
Summary: A sequel to Isn't it surprising - Or Alec McDowell meets the rest of the Winchesters
Thanks to
twinkiecat and
mayalaen for looking this for me.
When John Winchester wanted to move fast, by hell he could, which for anyone who first met him, it could be quite a surprise, considering he came across as a quiet, imposing man who was probably set in his ways.
Joshua had given John the keys to Father’s old house saying that, as Logan wasn’t using it anymore, then someone should, and in the few days since the cardiologist had said yes to seeing Billy, John had cleaned up the place, moved in new furniture, as well as arranging whatever medical needs his children might have.
Ellen had been called, and she was setting up the move, arranging the sale of the roadhouse and land that it and their home was on, not that she had to look hard for a buyer - the people who owned the diner in town had been trying to get her to sell for years. She had the van packed in less than half an hour of receiving the money, taking the vitals that she and Billy needed, arranging for everything else to sent on.
It had taken a few days for them to reach Seattle, Billy being wrapped up warm blanket, sound asleep in the back seat as Ellen pulled up in front of the old house. As Billy settled into his room, Ellen looked around; she found she couldn’t complain about the setup that John had put in place.
Alec stayed away, not getting in John’s way, although Max and some of the others had helped the family move in, though Alec was less than obvious that he was watching the house.
As the others left, she found her daughter putting the last of the kitchen things away.
“Where’s your father?” Ellen asked.
“With Billy, I think.”
Ellen nodded. “Sit down.”
Molly swallowed. Talking to her dad was one thing, because she had always known the little ways she could use to talk to him, even when he was in a foul mood. What daughter didn’t know how to talk to her father? But this was the conversation, this one, where there’d be no yelling, because they were past that point, that one she was really dreading, because when her mother went quiet, that meant it was really serious, “Are you going to tell me that I shouldn’t have it?”
“No,” Ellen said as she shook her head. “But you are going to tell me what you are thinking.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“I know you never dreamed of having a baby like this, but you are.”
“I know that...”
“I am not finished,” Ellen said calmly. “You are going to tell me exactly what the doctor said, what Alec’s said, and every thought in your head.”
Molly nodded.
“And I’m not your father, so don’t you think for one second think that bringing the fact that Alec is the father of this child and that means Dean and Mary is part of that baby is going to cut any discussion short,” Ellen said. “Now sit down.”
Molly did as she was told.
Ellen sighed before she put out a hand. “Molly, whatever happens, whatever you decide, I love you, and I’m not going anywhere, all right?” Ellen said.
Molly held back a tear as she took her mother’s hand. “I know.”
“But having a baby is never easy, even when you’ve got everything on your side, let alone like this. Do you understand that?”
Molly nodded. “Yes, Mom, I do.”
John stood in the living room as Ellen came out from talking to Molly. “And?”
“And what?” Ellen asked.
“You talked to her?” John asked.
“Yes,” Ellen said crossing her arms. “I did.”
“She hasn’t changed her mind.”
“You expect her to?” Ellen asked.
“And you’re happy to leave it like this?”
“What do you expect me to do, John? Tell her that she has to get rid of it?” Ellen asked.
John didn’t reply.
“She’s going through with this, and if Alec wants to be a part of it, he is going to be unless she says otherwise, and that is the end of it,” Ellen said firmly as she walked away.
--------------------------------------
Logan had gotten back to Max about what she had told him about Alec and Molly’s stories. The information he had found showed that the area in question had been cited for toxic waste dumping by the EPA for years and there had been a number of incidents of local wildlife acting out of character, attacking visitors to the area, though some of these attacks may have involved local townspeople although no arrests had ever been made. He had been told by a couple of contacts that it was theoretically possible that the toxins in the area had combined to create a number of chemicals that could cause the behaviour that both Molly and Alec had described, but without knowing the specifics of everything that had been dumped, they couldn’t say anything for sure.
When Max and Logan put this information to John and Ellen, the couple told them it didn’t matter. Max had asked why, saying it showed that what Logan had found corroborated what both Alec and Molly had told them, that it hadn’t been consensual on either side. John had turned to her, saying that he knew exactly what went down because he had been the one to find them.
“Why won’t anyone listen?” Molly said from the doorway where she had stood silently as Max and Logan had told her parents what they had found. “Alec wasn’t to blame. It happened, but it wasn’t his fault, so will you all stop thinking the worst of him? I’m the one that put him in that position.”
“Molly,” Ellen said, trying to calm Molly down.
“No, Mom. As it was he was damn lucky not to end up dead, because that is what could have happened. I could have killed him.”
“You don’t know that,” John replied.
“Yes I do, and so do you, Dad,” Molly said. “That thing took me over. I was faster, stronger, and I almost killed Mom. It was me that fucked up. I wanted to play hunter to impress Kenny. We went into a job that went south, but instead of me and Kenny paying the price it was me and Alec.”
“Molly, you don’t have to explain anything,” Logan said. “You can’t blame yourself. You shouldn’t, not in...”
“What, in my condition? My condition doesn’t change things. I got pregnant because Alec tried to save me. I got pregnant because something took my body for a walk and found it couldn’t kill him.”
“You told us this,” Max said. “And I believe you.”
“Do you Max?” Molly asked. “Isn’t there a part of you that wonders?”
Max shook her head. “No. I know Alec. He’d never...”
“What about you, Logan?” Molly asked.
Logan took a second. “Honestly, I don’t want to, but I don’t know.”
John and Ellen looked at the man.
“I can’t blame you for that,” John said, causing Ellen to glare at her husband.
Molly started to cry as they listened to her. “I don’t care if you guys can’t get your head around the supernatural shit, but what you have to get your head around the fact that it wasn’t Alec’s fault. It was me that screwed up, and I took him down with me. I should have known better, and now we are both paying for this, because I’m pregnant, and he doesn’t trust himself anymore.”
“But if there were chemicals and dumping in that place, it shows that neither one of you were responsible,” Max said.
“No, it shows you that,” Molly said. “I’ve always known that Alec wasn’t to blame, and I’m tired of saying it. He doesn’t need anybody to try to fill my or his head about chemicals being sprayed as an explanation of what happened. We know what happened. We were there. You weren’t. So why don’t you leave it alone, let us get over it? Why can’t you let us move on in our own way?”
“But if it is chemicals, then...”
“Then what? Does that make it better, Max? Please tell me how?” Molly asked. “How does thinking that chemicals that made us act that way make it better? How does Alec thinking that it could happen again if he comes in contact with whatever they were dumping going to make him feel better? Anyway it wasn’t. It was something that you can’t understand, something you don’t want to understand.”
“Okay, I don’t understand. Maybe I don’t want to, and I know it is your decision, Molly, and I respect you for it, but if it is hurting both you and him so much are, are you so sure that going through with having the baby is the right thing for you?” Max asked.
Ellen clenched her jaw in response to Max’s statement. “She’s made her decision, Max.”
“We are only trying to help,” Logan said, trying to calm down the situation, “give you all the facts so you can you move on.”
“She’s got all the facts. We all do,” John said coldly, “and I’d appreciate it if you didn’t come in here to flat out tell my family that we don’t.”
“John, we aren’t saying that you don’t know what happened,” Max said, “but Alec is beating himself up, and the only people that can help him are in this house.”
“This isn’t your problem, girl,” John replied, “and how my family deals with this isn’t your business.”
“Like hell it isn’t!” she replied, causing John to glower at her.
“Logan, it might be an idea to get her out of right now,” Ellen said, glancing over at the expression on her husband’s face.
As Ellen showed Logan and Max to the door, she turned to them. “I know you are trying to understand what happened, but it’s best you don’t, and you don’t want to push either John or Alec on this.”
“I just want to help,” Max said, “both you guys and Alec.”
“Well, you’re not,” Ellen said coldly. “Like you said, we’re the only ones that can help him, and John ain’t ready for that. Anything that you two do now is just going to make things worse.”
“Ellen, you don’t know that,” Logan replied.
“Like hell I don’t. You may know Alec, but so do I, and I know Winchester men, known them since before you two were born, and Alec is as much one as the rest of them,” Ellen said firmly. “What Alec needs now is John. Molly’s told him what he needs to hear from her. Now he needs to hear from John, not to forgive him, not to tell him things are going to be okay, but to say that it is done. Then he can move on, and that is something John isn’t ready to do. Just like John needs Alec to tell him the same thing, because Molly is right. John blames himself for it happening, and only Alec can tell him otherwise, and can you tell me Alec is ready for that?
Max shook her head.
“You got to leave it, and give them time,” Ellen replied.
“I’m sorry, but I can’t stand back and watch him like this.”
“Well tough shit, Max, you’re going to have to, because you know damn well it is going to worse before it gets better, and there is not a damn thing you can do about it,” Ellen said, “but it will get better.”
“And until then?” Max asked. “Alec is breaking inside...”
“And he’s not going pick himself up until he’s ready to! You trying to make things right for him ain’t going change that,” Ellen snapped, before she sighed. “This is my family, Max, and I told you once I take care of my own. It ain’t always pretty, and it takes time, but that is what I do, but if you can’t handle that, you’d better stay out of the way while I do it.”
----------------------------------------------
Alec wasn’t sure what to do about anything. He felt kind of helpless about the baby, the Winchesters, about everything. He felt that he hadn’t the right to feel anything else considering what he had done. Not that anyone outside the family and the small circle of Max, Logan, Cindy and Joshua knew the whole story.
At first he threw himself into work, though in his off time he seemed to take things to extremes, either avoiding everyone or by getting drunk and trying to party, but at the end of the night, he always found himself alone apart from the times he woke up at his place not sure how he’d gotten there. Then Max would appear with a glass of water and some pills for his hangover. As time went on, he spent less and less time at command, though it was always a silent Max who still seemed to be the one to be there when he woke up from the night before.
Apart from one time when he woke up somewhere else, somewhere he never in his life expected to be.
“Do you need the bucket again?” Logan asked as a groggy Alec woke up.
He peered at the man, who was sitting in a chair at side of the bed.
“What?”
“You know if it wasn’t for the fact that I know you are a transgenic, I would have bet money on the fact that you’d be now be dead from alcohol poisoning considering the amount you drank last night.”
“Go to hell!” Alec slurred as he slowly got up to which Logan didn’t reply.
“Where are my clothes?” Alec asked, noticing the state of undress he was in, “What? Now that you and Max are definitely not happening, you needing to get your transgenic kicks some other way? You know you could have just asked. Might have given you a proper show.”
“Don’t flatter yourself,” Logan replied. “Your clothes are in the washer.”
“Why?”
“Why do you think I asked about the bucket?”
“Oh,” Alec slumped. “Can you loan me something right now, and I’ll pick them up later.”
Logan nodded. “Sure. You can use the shower, too, if you want.”
-----------------------------------
Logan was sitting at his terminal when went for the door .
“You could say thanks, you know,” Logan said as Alec went to leave.
“Thanks.”
“She isn’t going to keep bailing you out, not if you keep going on like this.”
Alec shut the door and turned. “What?”
“Max. You want to hurt yourself? Fine, Alec. Stop dragging her down with you.”
“What do you mean?” Alec asked.
“Where the hell do you think I found you last night?” Logan asked, to which Alec shrugged. Logan knotted his brow. “Jesus, Alec, you want to get yourself killed? Fine, go back down to gang turf and do what you were doing last night. Next time it won’t be me to find you, it’ll will be her, and you know damn well with the amount of people she’s pissed off down there, they won’t let both of you walk.”
“How did you find me?”
“Ellen called me, saying that someone might want to make sure you got home. Why she called me instead of Joshua or Max, I don’t know.”
“What?” a confused Alec asked. “How did she know where I was? I’m sure I lost...”
“The tail Max put on you? It looks like Max hasn’t been the only one covering your ass,” Logan said, raising an eyebrow. “Is it possible, considering the state you were in, that you missed the signs of Ellen’s ‘friends’?”
Alec looked at the ground sheepishly for a second. “How bad was I?”
“Bad,” Logan replied. “Alec, get some help, if not for your sake, for Max’s, for your family, for your baby, for whoever the hell it will take to make you go get some help.”
“I’m past that point,” Alec said turning round to leave.
Logan stood up. “Grow up, Alec. I don’t kid myself that I understand what is going on, what you went through, but you are acting like a spoiled kid right now.”
Alec turned, grabbed Logan by the throat, and pinned him to the wall. “Who the hell are you to judge me?”
Logan scrambled for a second before Alec let him go.
“I’m sorry,” Alec said stumbling backwards. “I shouldn’t... What the hell am I doing?”
Logan took a few seconds to gain his composure after getting back to his feet. “I don’t know, but whatever it is, you got to stop it.”
“I don’t know how,” he shamefully admitted.
“Cutting down on the drinking might be a start,” Logan replied, to which Alec didn’t reply for a second.
“Max got you to look things over, didn’t she?”
Logan nodded. “Yep, the town she said has been cited for a load of EPA infringements.”
“What did...? What did they say when you told them?” Alec asked.
Logan sighed. “Molly stuck to the possession story, said that she was ‘taken over,’ and that it decided to play with you.”
“And do you believe her?”
“Does it matter if I believe her?”
Alec shook his head. “No, not really.”
“They do--the Winchesters--if that is anything. Though John’s still angry,” Logan said. “Max thinks the chemicals did something to you and Molly, and the only way Molly can explain it is to hang on to the stuff she was brought up with.”
“So I get away clean, then?”
Logan shook his head at the mess of a man he saw in front of him. “I don’t know yet.”
Alec nodded and started toward the door. “Logan, thanks for checking, for doubting.”
“Sure?” Logan said, uncertain of Alec’s intent.
“Someone needed to; someone needed to make sure that I’m safe to be around.”
Logan sighed, rubbing his throat. “Yeah. Like you are that right now.”
Alec quit drinking as hard after that.
-------------------------------------------
As he started to clean himself up, Alec couldn’t help but find the slips of paper that Max had started to slip into his pocket with Molly or Billy’s appointment times on them. Not that he went, but he had found himself standing outside the clinic on more than one occasion.
The same thing seemed too happen with regard to the house, with John seeing Alec standing across the street most afternoons, even in the pouring rain. After a couple of weeks, Ellen crossed the street to talk to Alec. John watched as the boy seemed to give up the fight as the woman stood in front of him, letting go of some of the guilt as Ellen gave him a hug.
It got a little better after that, although Alec and John continued to avoid one another.
Molly started to grow, and Billy watched, fascinated about the whole thing. He enjoyed feeling the baby move. It took a while for Alec to feel comfortable about it, Ellen having to grab his hand one day, to force him to feel the movement of his unborn child, when he turned up at one of Molly’s doctor appointments.
Alec swallowed as he felt the baby move as Ellen left him and Molly alone to wait for the doctor to call. “That’s... I don’t know what that is.”
Molly smiled. “Baby is active today.”
“Right, not that I would know anything about this,” Alec said, his hand gently resting on the swell of Molly’s belly. “You sure you don’t want to know... the sex?”
“Do you?”
Alec shrugged. “It’s up to you.”
“Alec, if you want, we can find out.”
“It’s okay. Maybe for the best that I don’t know.”
“Everything is fine according to the doctor.”
“I know,” Alec replied, taking his hand away. “Anyway it’s what you want.”
“Alec, if you’re not sure about being involved...”
He shook his head. “No, it isn’t that, I think. Hell, Molly, I don’t know. I know it’s my kid, something I never really thought I’d live to see happen, but why do you want me here? It’s not like you expect anything else, is it?”
“Oh, yes, definitely. It was all a grand plan,” she answered sarcastically, causing his face to fall. “Look, we both know that we don’t care about each other that way. It was a stupid accident that has got us here.”
“Some accident?” Alec replied. “It wasn’t a drunken night out that got us here.”
“No, but we are here. Well, I’m here. If you want out, you still have time, because as much as I would like my baby to have its father around, I’m not having you go into this, and then change your mind. Do you understand?”
Alec nodded. “Yeah, but why me, Molly? Why put yourself through having me around?”
“Because you are this baby’s father, and the only one it is likely to get, because I’m swearing off men,” Molly said firmly. “I keep telling you I don’t blame you, and one day I hope you can be able to forgive me.”
Alec shook his head. “Nothing to forgive.”
Molly didn’t reply as she sat in the clinic waiting area.
“Moll, don’t let what happened stop you from moving on,” Alec said. “I know what with both me and Kenny you’ve been probably been put off guys for life, but...”
“Not for life, Alec. Yeah, I’m not going to say I don’t have nightmares about what happened. I do, just like you probably do, and Kenny taking off hurt, but I’m not going to stand still,” Molly said, cutting Alec off. “It’s just for a while until I’m ready. I don’t know when that will be, but I’m not going to let what happened define the rest of my life.”
“You know you are too well adjusted for your own good, you know that?” Alec said.
Molly smiled. “Well a shrink costs too much not to be. Anyway, with my life, what would I say?”
“Well there is always the truth,” Alec said, smirking.
“Sure, that would go down well. Hi doc, I got possessed by a ghost cat, and now I’m knocked up by a transgenic, who the ghost cat mind whammied, with major trust issues. But it’s not like he’s a stranger or anything, because he is actually the clone of a man who saved my life when I was three, and who disappeared a few weeks later when he, his brother, and my adopted mom’s daughter brought his dad back from the dead, who is now also my dad.”
“You know that story is screaming out for film-of-the-week status.”
“Film-of-the-week? Not a blockbuster?”
“I don’t know. Miniseries?”
“Okay. Miniseries I could live with,” she said with a small smile on her face.
“Has Kenny been in touch at all?” Alec asked tentatively
Molly shook her head. “No, but I heard he’s taken up with a girl somewhere in Georgia.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Not your fault, and it wouldn’t matter if he hadn’t,” she said. “He took off when I really needed him. All he had to do was be there, and he couldn’t do that. From what I can tell, he didn’t even check in later to see if I was okay, and that hurts. But I’ll survive, and I’ll move on when I’m ready. Same thing goes for you, too, you know--the moving on from this.”
“I know,” he said, looking away.
“And as for Dad, give him some time Alec. He’ll come round, though it might help if you came to the house when he was there.”
“Yeah, right.”
“Alec, are you listening to me?” Molly asked as Alec continued to watch the crowd.
He nodded as he turned to face her. “Yeah.”
“But are you hearing me?”
“Don’t, Moll,” he said, cutting her off. “I get enough of that from Max.”
“Really?”
“She just goes on and on.”
“What about?”
“Just stuff. Don’t want to bore you.”
“Alec.”
“It’s nothing,” Alec said, to which Molly shot him a look. “We were talking about stuff.”
“What stuff?”
“About Manitcore. About how we all grew up. About this.”
“So?”
“She says, even though I shouldn’t blame myself about how you got pregnant, I’ve got this big chance, and I should grab it with both hands.”
Molly smiled. “So Max talked you into being here?”
Alec shook his head. “No. Molly, I grew up in a place where we were really just pieces of meat, you know? We all knew what the handlers thought of us--we were expendable.”
She nodded. “And you don’t want the baby to go through that.”
He rubbed the back of his neck. “Kind of. Not that I’d ever think that you’d ever make it feel like that.”
“I know.”
“Also Max reminded me that, while I’m sitting feeling sorry for myself, other people aren’t, and how would I feel if I something happened to it or to you if they found out about you being pregnant.”
“Excuse me?”
Alec sighed. “Look, Moll, I’m not trying to scare you or anything, especially seeing as how you shouldn’t be stressed.”
She glared at him. “Will people stop saying that! I’m pregnant, not dying.”
“I know.”
“So what are you trying not to frighten me about?”
“Molly, I know you are in Seattle because of the doctors, but you got to realise that here isn’t like back at the Roadhouse.”
“Really?” she asked sarcastically. “The buildings, people, and the rain weren’t a giveaway.”
“Molly, I’m being serious,” Alec said. “There are a lot of people out there that might want to hurt you or ‘it’ because they aren’t going to like a half transgenic and half ordinary being out there.”
“Well I don’t know about you. I wasn’t exactly going to announce that part in the papers.”
“You know what I mean.”
She nodded, conceding his point. “And Max reminded you of this?”
“Yeah, and she was right about it. I want the kid to know that, even though how it got here was screwed up, someone’s always going to watch its back, no matter what when its mom can’t. It deserves that, just like any kid deserves to know that someone is looking out for it. My kid deserves...,” he stopped for a second, not sure how to continue. “And I’ll do that if you want, even if you change your mind about me being its father and want me to be its ‘Uncle’ or something else instead.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, and I figure you’re going to be looking out for the supernatural crap, which I don’t understand, so I’ll take care of the other stuff that needs looking out for because that’s what a dad does, right?”
Molly smiled. “You know, I think that is the sweetest way you can say that you want to step up I can think of.”
“Oh hell, Moll. Don’t say you’re going to start crying on me,” Alec said as Molly began to sniff.
“It’s just hormones,” Molly said as she found a tissue in her bag.
“Hormones?” Alec said, “That all?”
“Yes, that’s all. I’m up and down every five minutes right now.”
“Okay, and that’s normal?”
“Yes, Alec, that is normal. One minute I’m fine, then I’m crying, and then the next I’m as horny as hell.”
“Excuse me?” Alec said slightly surprised.
“Forget it,” she quickly replied, before muttering. “Obviously, blunt honesty is also coming along with everything else now.”
Alec sat there in silence for a few moments not sure what to say.
“You thought of names yet?” Molly asked, trying to change the subject, “because Billy has been trawling through books the past couple of days.”
Alec smiled. “I’ve not exactly thought. Been given a list.”
“List?” Molly asked as he pulled a scrap of paper out of his pocket.
“Yeah, Luke thought I might want some ideas. Biggs told him he should write them down, though it reads more like a census than anything else,” Alec replied. “Told him you were having one and not a litter - it is definitely just one isn’t it? They couldn’t have been wrong with the scan, could they?”
“No, it is one,” Molly said, taking the paper.
Alec seemed to relax a little as she started to look at the pages. “Yeah, there are some whacked out ones, but I figure you might like some of them.”
She studied the page, “Okay, I’m vetoing Oreo and Almond Joy. I am not having a kid named after a cookie, and even though it’s a candy bar, it would make the kid sound like a cheap price stripper.”
“So you’re saying no to all snack food-related ideas, then?” Alec asked, to which Molly just glared at him. “What about designations? We could have the first kid in a normal kindergarten with the same name as a prime number sequence. Or ‘Prime.’ That could be good.”
“I was thinking William if it is a boy. What do you think?”
“After Billy?” Alec asked.
Molly nodded. “Yeah. What with him being sick and all, I think he’d like that.”
“Yeah, but what if it is a girl?”
“I don’t know. Billy had an idea.”
Alec knotted his brow. “Is this a good idea or in the same league as the one involving the tennis racket and the ice cream.”
“It’s okay. It’s kind of involving our moms.”
“‘Our’ moms?” Alec said. “Technically, I don’t know if I really can say I have one. I had a surrogate and all, but seeing as how I never saw her after the day I was born, I can’t say that we were really close so...”
“You know what I mean. My birth mom, your genetic mom, and Mom,” Molly explained.
“Right,” Alec said. “I don’t get you.”
As Molly explained the conversation she had had with her brother to Alec, they didn’t see the silent figure that was standing in the doorway of the clinic. Max stood there and watched the confusion on Alec’s face lift as he and Molly talked and his smile when Molly grabbed his hand and moved it to her stomach. She saw his joy as he obviously felt his child move again. It was like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders, giving him the first real moment of happiness she had seen cross his face in a long time.
Molly said something to him before he started to hesitantly talk to her stomach. Max couldn’t hear what he said in the din of the busy clinic, but whatever it was, Molly began to laugh, causing Alec to stop talking and look up at her. Molly gently swatted him, causing him to say something to her before he went back to talking to the swell of the belly that housed ‘their’ growing child.
Max stood there for a few more moments, silently watching them together, not saying a word before she turned and left before Alec and Molly realised that she had ever been there.
-----------------------------------------------
Billy was happy, although he was getting tired more easily than he used to, he enjoyed seeing all the new things, spending some time with the younger transgenics, as well as finding out Curly was doing okay -- she had found that there were loads of transgenic that were like her that she could make friends with. He was going to a day center for children with learning disabilities when he was well enough, as well as making friends with some of the younger X6s, who found spending time at the Winchester house not only fun but a great excuse to dodge out of school that they were now being forced to attend.
Molly spent a lot of time with Gem and Eve, finding out about what she could possibly expect even though her child would only be half transgenic. Max encouraged it, giving Gem time off from her duties in command to allow her to help Molly and Alec with the relatively uncharted waters they were going into.
Max watched as Alec started to fit again in his little whacked-out world again, trying not to feel left out, not to feel a little jealous as Alec went through a set of experiences that she couldn’t imagine. Not that she told him how she felt, not wanting to impose on things, knowing that he had enough shit going on around in his own head to deal with the stuff that was going on in hers.
Cindy had let them know that there was a small place opening up in her building, large enough for Molly and the baby after it was born, and it was near Terminal City, allowing Alec to be close by if he wanted as well as the clinic, just in case. Normal said he knew someone who could get some half-decent baby furniture, and had even got Sketchy involved to do the heavy lifting. Ellen and John weren’t happy about the idea, but Ellen could understand why her daughter would need her own space.
Billy had had enough by then--the tension between his father and Alec--taking things into his own hands, getting a number of transgenic to help. At any other time John would have been impressed by his youngest son’s tenacity, although on day four being stuck in a row boat on a lake in the middle of nowhere, being impressed was not exactly how he felt.
“Can you talk to them again?” he said, not looking at Alec.
Alec shrugged. “Not like they’re listening to me.”
Alec pulled at the chain around his leg.
“You’ve been at that for four days. Unless you cut your damn foot off, you ain’t getting out of it.”
“Thanks for the advice, but have you got a better idea? Because the only other one I’ve got is sinking this fucking boat, but we’d probably drown.”
John turned around to see the lights go on in the cabin.
“I’ll take that as a no, then,” Alec said, returning to what he was doing.
John picked up a ration pack and threw it at Alec. “You should eat something.”
“I’m fine,” Alec replied.
“You haven’t eaten or drank anything since we’ve been here.”
“Haven’t been hungry.”
“Bullshit!” John muttered.
Alec looked up. “Excuse me?”
“You heard me,” John said.
“It’s not me that looks like they need a good meal,” Alec said, causing John to turn his back on him. The man had lost a lot of weight lately, and Alec was pretty sure that not all of John’s visits to the hospital were to ask about how Billy was doing, but if the man didn’t want to talk about it, then it was his deal.
“Fine,” Alec said picking up the packet. “I’ll eat. Happy?”
John looked away, causing Alec to sigh. “That’ll be another no?”
“No, I’m not happy,” John replied. “Do you expect me to be happy?”
“No, I expect you to be angry. I expect you to do something, anything,” Alec said.
“What? It wasn’t your fault. I know that. You know that. The world knows that.”
Alec threw the packet down. “You let me in your home. I ate at your table, then I go and do something like that, and you didn’t do anything.”
“If you hadn’t been there, then I don’t know what would have happened. Ellen and Molly would probably be dead,” John admitted. “But none of you should have had to be there.”
“Well we were, and now we have a big mess.”
“Yeah we do, don’t we?”
“Well, what do we do now?” Alec asked.
John sighed. “How the hell do you expect me to know? What do you want me to do?” John asked. “Hit you? Shoot you?”
“I don’t know.”
“Anyway, anything I could do to you can’t be worse to what you’re doing to yourself,” John said.
“Doing to myself?”
“You’re still tearing yourself up inside,” John said coldly.
Alec shook his head. “Whoopee do.”
“Guess I understand why,” John said, trying to sound a little sympathetic. “You can’t work out if you’re the victim or the perp.”
Alec clenched his jaw. “I’m no victim!”
“Molly’s gotten over it for the most part. You haven’t.”
“She hasn’t got any reason not to. She isn’t to blame for any of it.”
“No, that is one of the few things we agree on,” John replied. “She’s looking to the future now, the baby.”
“Right,” Alec said.
“You changed your mind about sticking around for it?”
Alec shot John a dirty look. “Even if Molly changes her mind about me being a part of this, that kid won’t go wanting.”
“Good,” John said flatly.
“You thought I would let her do everything on her own?”
“Would you have?”
Alec hesitated for a moment. “How the hell can you say that?”
“I don’t know.”
Alec shook his head, “You really don’t know me, do you?”
John clenched his jaw. “After what happened, what do you expect me think about you?”
“I don’t know, John. You tell me!” Alec spat out. “I’m sorry. I screwed up. I should have worked out what was happening and got out of there before it took over, but I didn’t. I can’t take that back. I don’t know what else I can do. Do you want me to leave? Because I can. I can go somewhere else if that is what you guys want.”
John shook his head. “No, it is done now, and this place is your home more than ours.”
“So if don’t want me to go and you want to stick around for the baby, what is the problem?”
“Okay, I forgot, I forgot!” John yelled.
“What?” Alec was confused.
“I forgot. I let my guard down and forgot what the hell you are. I should have known better, shouldn’t have let you and Ellen go. I should have been the one to go get Molly, not you two. But I couldn’t because I fucked up and broke my fucking arm, so I sent you, even though I knew that part of you isn’t human, but I didn’t want to see that.”
“What the hell has me being a transgenic got to do with this?”
“Everything,” John yelled. “Because of that, the rules are different for you, not that it is your fault for that, but they are, and because of that, Molly spent two weeks refusing to come out of her room, you ended up tied up begging me to kill you, Ellen was a mess because the only person her daughter would let near her was her little brother, and it was all because I forgot that things work differently for you than us, because if you had been human, it wouldn’t have happened.”
“So you can see the future now?” Alec said sarcastically. “Pop, you couldn’t have guessed that it was going to go down the way it did.”
“No, but I let you walk in there without all the facts of what could happen, and now we have to deal with the fallout from it,” John said.
“I’m trying to do that.”
John glowered at Alec, “You better do a damn sight better than try, because if you are going to be any use to Molly and that baby, you got to get past what happened out there, and if you can’t, it’d be better if you just got out of the way.”
Alec looked away, not sure how to answer that. “And there was me thinking that part of this was because you didn’t see me with her in that cave but Dean.”
“Alec, you aren’t Dean,” John said running a hand over his face. “You said it yourself when we got those results back. You’re never going to be Dean, so why the hell do you want to be now?”
“I don’t know. Isn’t that what you and Ellen wanted? What everybody wanted?”
“Where the hell did you get that idea from?” John asked.
Alec shrugged. “Oh hell, could have been when the guys at the Roadhouse went on about how I was supposed to fill his and Sam’s shoes, or when I went on the first hunt, when you gave me his gun. Hell, I’m surprised you didn’t call me Dean more often.”
“When the hell did I call you Dean?” John asked.
“The day you fell off the roof,” Alec replied.
“When they pumped me full of painkillers?” John asked.
“Yeah,” Alec replied.
John clenched his jaw. “So you’re holding that one time when I was tanked up against me?”
Alec didn’t reply for a moment, “Isn’t part of this down to the fact when you saw me and Molly together, it twisted up that perfect image you got in your head of Dean? That not only did I screw up with her, but you’re angry that I took another part of him away from you.”
“Oh Christ, Alec.” John shook his head. “Dean wasn’t perfect. I miss him and Sam, and yeah, I admit it, I’m trying to make up for some of the crap I put them through with Billy, Molly, and you, but you aren’t Dean.”
“Yeah, sometimes I wonder if you know that.”
“Of course I fucking know that,” John said angrily. “You’re you, and if you’ve got into your stupid head of yours that you got to live up to who Dean was, then there isn’t anything I can say that is going to change your mind. But if you’re sticking by Molly because you think that is what he would do, then don’t, because it’s obvious, even though you’re trying you ain’t comfortable about it.”
“How the hell would you know how I feel?” Alec asked accusingly. “Jesus, John, the two of us haven’t even been in the same room since Ellen and Billy came out here.”
“You don’t think I know?” John retorted.
“Well you haven’t talked to me.”
“What the fuck do you want me to say?” John retorted, “That I don’t know that you’ve been turning up at Molly and Billy’s appointments. That you turn up at the house when I’m not there. That I haven’t heard that you keep asking her and Ellen if it’s a good idea for you to be around?”
“I’m trying to do the right thing, John, whatever the hell that is. I’m trying to do it! And yeah, sure I’m betting he’d have never fucked up so badly, but me trying to do what’s right has nothing to do with Dean. It never has. But you never thought about that, did you?” Alec said, causing John to look away as Alec continued. “All the time at Manticore, I did shit that I don’t want to think about, but never anything like that. I hurt people, I stole, I killed, but even when sex was part of the mission, I never forced myself on someone or took advantage of anyone who didn’t know what they would be getting into, even when I was given the go ahead to. I knew guys that did, understood part of why they did it even though I didn’t like it, but I always found another way because it felt sloppy and unprofessional, because I admit it, I used to take pride in my work, not to mention it felt wrong, and I promised myself I was never going to put anyone else through the same thing that Manticore did to...,”
John’s head shot round as Alec suddenly stopped talking. “What?”
“Nothing,” Alec replied quietly.
“Alec?” John asked angrily, “What the fuck were you going say?”
“Forget it--it is none of your goddamn business!”
John closed his eyes and ran a hand over his face, thinking that he should have guessed that the bastards in that place would have done something like that, even if they only considered it to be part of the training or as a punishment. Great. Without even knowing it, he had failed to protect another one, failed Alec in more ways than he’d ever failed the rest of them.
“But then I go meet you,” Alec said coldly. “You show me this hunting shit, and the next thing I know I’ve got something crawling in my head taking away all the control I’ve got while she’s pumping out more pheromones than one hundred females in the middle of their heat cycle, and I’m doing something I swore I’d never do to anyone, let alone someone I care about.”
“I’m sorry Alec,” John said. “I... I should have never asked you to go get Molly. I put you in that position; I can’t say anything against you blaming me.”
Alec shook his head. “No. I didn’t mean... Hell, John, it happened. Shit happens--shit I don’t understand. You didn’t know it was, but can you really blame me for feeling ‘uncomfortable’?”
John didn’t reply for a second. “No, I can’t, but you still beating yourself up about it ain’t doing anyone of us good.”
Alec looked away. “I know, but neither is you acting the way you are, because all I can see is that everybody else is being pulled apart, here.”
John nodded. “What are we going to do about it?”
“I don’t know, but we’d better do something.”
Two days later Mole and Joshua dragged the boat in.
Chapter 13