BP 101 (1/2)
BP 101 (1/2)
Authors: camerashy06 & kennedysbitch
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer
Characters: Callie/Arizona, drunk!Teddy, Cristina
Summary: Deciding to take advantage of a night off, Callie takes Arizona out to celebrate St. Patrick’s Day in fine fashion. They end up dueling for bragging rights (and more) in a game of Callie’s choosing - Beer Pong.
A/N: Split into two parts for size. Beta’d by the shiny and special englishstrawbie.
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Everywhere Callie looked she saw green - green t-shirts, green pants, green necklaces. Even, on occasion, green hair. St. Patrick’s Day had arrived in full force at Seattle Grace Mercy West. The massive number of patients flooding the ER and the sheer stupidity of how half of them got there were enough to give Callie a migraine the size of Texas.
It was already six o’clock, and while they hadn’t officially made any plans for the evening, she was still holding out hope for a night of festivities with her wife. Arizona had made a feeble attempt to coerce Callie into taking her and Sofia to the parade earlier that morning, and while the brunette had originally considered it, she had been paged into work at eight o’clock.
After checking in on her last patient, Callie stalked off in pursuit of the attending’s locker room, more than ready to gather her things and leave for the day. She shoved the door open and made her way to her locker, rummaging through her purse in search of her cell phone. She hadn’t heard from Arizona all day, which made her wonder what the sneaky blonde could possibly be up to.
If there was one thing Arizona took seriously, it was holidays. Big and small, official and unofficial, and everything in between. Having met her mother, Callie now understood where she got it from.
Taking a seat on the bench, Callie let out a heavy sigh, allowing the strain of her work day melt away from her body. As she changed out of her scrubs and was pulling her street clothes back on, she was interrupted by the sound of someone clearing their throat.
Turning around with her shirt still in her hands, Callie saw the object of her thoughts standing in the doorway with a mischievous grin plastered across her face and a familiar twinkle in her eye. It didn’t take Callie long to figure out why.
She blinked, one eyebrow slowly creeping up toward her hairline as she pulled the shirt over her head. “Uh...”
Adjusting the baby in her arms, Arizona stepped into the room and let the door close behind her. “Say hi, Mommy,” she crooned to Sofia, bouncing her on her hip and waiting for a response. All she got was a gurgle and a kick, followed by Sofia nearly shoving a fist all the way into her own mouth.
Any other day and Callie would have jumped up to fuss over their daughter and tell her how much she had missed her. Right now, however, all she could do was take in the most ridiculous outfit her wife had put Sofia in to date.
“Oh come on,” Arizona scolded playfully, tugging on their little girl’s decorative fleecy green jacket. She adjusted the gold felt buttons along the front, then straightened the green and black hat sitting on her head, smiling when one of Sofia’s black-and-gold booties kicked at her arm. “Don’t look at her like that. It’s cute!”
It took a moment before Callie spoke, choosing her words very carefully so as not to land herself in the doghouse. Again.
“You...turned our baby into a leprechaun,” she stated, pulling her bottom lip into her mouth in an effort not to say any more.
Arizona had known she would get this kind of reaction - Callie usually made fun of her for being ridiculously into holiday celebrations, most of which ended with Sofia dressed in a themed costume of some type or another. Callie claimed it was because if Arizona dressed herself up, no one would take her seriously, so she used Sofia as a surrogate.
Apparently pediatric surgeons were just more festive than bone-breaking goddesses, or so Arizona thought. She was simply being imaginative.
Noting the hesitant look on her wife’s face, she rolled her eyes. “Whatever, Calliope. The nurses in peds loved her. Even Alex made that grunting noise he does whenever he’s trying not to show that he’s affected by something.”
Gathering Sofia by her underarms, Arizona extended her across the short distance, holding the baby in her partner’s face. “See? Cute.”
Sofia grinned a half-toothless grin, kicking her feet and giggling as she reached for her mommy.
Callie looked her daughter square in the eye, smiling warmly at the happy sounds the infant continued to make. “Your Mama is crazy, yes she is,” she cooed, receiving a few spit bubbles aimed at her face. Callie extended her arms out to embrace Sofia, settling her in a comfy resting place against her right hip.
Bringing her attention back to Arizona, who was still grinning at their daughter with loads of adoration and pride, Callie smirked. “Congratulations. I think you may have just engineered the first Hispanic leprechaun in human history,” she deadpanned, winking subtly at Arizona, then giving Sofia a quick peck on the cheek.
The blonde’s shoulders dropped. “Would you just let it go and accept how adorably squishy and cute she is?” she asked, both exasperated and amused at the same time.
Callie gently shuffled the baby in her arms, while Sofia curiously played with a curly strand of her mother’s dark hair. “So this is what you’ve been doing all day long? Making our daughter into an Irish dwarf?”
“Not all day,” Arizona defended. “We spent the morning cleaning up the apartment first, and then came the costume party. I took her around peds while we waited for you to scrub out of your last surgery. At least they’re in the festive spirit, unlike some people.”
“Only because you forced them to decorate the whole floor and wear green scrubs today,” Callie pointed out. She loved Arizona, she really did, but sometimes the woman didn’t see the difference between someone actually enjoying something or suffering through it because their boss forced it on them.
Arizona smirked despite the jab. “Sounds like someone needs a little lucky charm to lift her spirits,” she teased, stepping closer and sneaking a quick pinch of Callie’s ass. “You’re not wearing green, by the way.”
Callie had to bite her lip to keep from bursting out with laughter. “You are completely ridiculous, you know that, right?” she said fondly, lips curling up to form a smile. “And I have an appendage right here that’s green from head to toe, so by default, I am wearing green.” Callie kissed Sofia on the cheek once more.
“Using our daughter as a shield? That’s weak, Calliope,” Arizona laughed.
Callie guided one of their daughter’s arms out toward the blonde. “Go on, pinch Mama,” she encouraged, egging Sofia on. The little girl let out a squeal of delight. “I don’t see any green on Mama. Go on, get her!”
Overcome with adoration for both of her girls, Arizona merely watched as Callie tried to maneuver Sofia’s hand to pinch her, but it wound up as more of a St. Patty’s Day slap than anything else. She mock-flinched, pouting at them both. Sofia obviously took after her mother in the strength department - a good sign, given how tiny she’d been at birth. Arizona’s ‘pain’ was immediately subdued by a brief peck on the lips, courtesy of Callie.
“Now we’re even,” Callie said smugly.
Beaming, Arizona allowed Sofia to latch onto her index finger and give it a small tug. “I’ll have you know that I am wearing green,” she said defiantly, straightening her posture. “Pre-mature pinching, Torres.”
Callie looked her up and down, unconvinced. “I don’t see any.”
Arizona flashed her partner a secretive smile. “Play your cards right and you will after munchkin here goes to bed.”
Callie quickly glanced around the room to make sure no one was lurking before covering Sofia’s ears. “Getting lucky on St. Patrick’s day? It’s a cliché, but who am I to argue with an offer like that?” She eyed Arizona like a piece of fresh meat before swatting her on the ass. “Count me in.”
Blushing, Arizona shook her head and crossed her arms, fighting back a growing smile. “Just get your stuff; we’ve got plans to make.”
Finally ready to leave for the day, Callie readjusted Sofia on her hip and threw her bag over the opposite shoulder. “I talked to Mark earlier. He agreed to take Sof for the night if we wanted to go out and do something.” She produced a hopeful smile. “I know the whole green beer, getting-drunk-till-you-fall-on-your-ass thing isn’t really your scene, but we could still go out and have some fun - hit up Joe’s or something. What do you think?”
“I think my wife is hinting at how boring I am these days,” Arizona said, feigning offense and accentuating a pout. “I think I need to prove that I can drink her under the table, green beer and all.”
Okay, so that was a lie. She was a light weight when it came to anything but wine.
...okay so maybe she was a lightweight with too much wine as well, but still - she couldn’t have Callie thinking she was some lame old fuddy-duddy. Besides, having a night out of the house was a rare gift these days; she would jump at any chance to take her girl out for some fun. They always used to go to Joe’s for a drink or two and talk about their day pre-parenthood, something Arizona missed.
“Get your game face on, Torres,” she said confidentially, puffing up and trying to look even remotely tough despite the fact that her wife towered over her. “Tonight we party.”
Callie almost choked on her laughter. “Remember that in about four hours when you’re doubled over with your head in the toilet.” Ignoring the glare thrown her way, she held the door open wide. “After you.”
Arizona stuck out her tongue as she walked through, mumbling about how she’d show her otherwise.
Callie simply shook her head in disbelief. One of her wife’s worst qualities was that she never backed down from a challenge she was destined to lose, even if it was one she initiated herself.
Game on.
***
Callie didn’t even make it three feet inside of Joe’s before someone slapped a paper St. Patrick’s Day party hat on her head. Judging by Arizona’s laughter, she looked about as ridiculous as she felt.
Donning one of her own, Arizona made a goofy face and dragged Callie through the throng of people over to the bar, leaning across the counter and shouting that she wanted two beers. When they appeared in front of her, she lifted one to eye level and wrinkled her nose.
“Tell me how this is supposed to look appetizing,” she said to Callie, eyeballing the green liquid as though it were radioactive.
“It’s not,” Callie pointed out, opting to lean against the bar for now as there were no stools available. The place was packed from front to back, with the occasional eruption of cheers coming from one particular section.
Arizona looked less than thrilled at the prospect of digesting her beverage. “I think there’s a rule somewhere that says when you’re over thirty, you shouldn’t drink stuff like this.”
“It tastes the same,” Callie encouraged, snatching her glass and downing half of it in a few gulps.
The action garnered an inquisitive brow raise from Arizona. She hesitated before taking a small sip of her own.
After swallowing another few mouthfuls, Callie abruptly set her glass down on the bar counter. “The first one loosens you up. Drink it fast.” She unbuttoned her jacket, pulling it off and handing it across the bar to Joe. She had been a regular long enough that he always kept her prized possession in a safe place until she was ready to leave.
Arizona took another slow, calculated sip, openly checking her wife out over the rim of her glass. Man, Callie was gorgeous. Especially when she was relaxed and looking to have some fun. There was a swagger in her step and it gave Arizona chills every time.
“C’mon,” Callie argued. “Chug it, Robbins. Don’t be a sissy.”
Sighing, Arizona nodded in resignation and took in a deep breath. She tipped the drink back and managed to swallow about half of it before nearly choking when it went up her nose .
Coughing, Arizona shivered at the strong taste and shook her head. “See? Not a sissy. Bring on another one.” The look on her face said otherwise - somewhere between ‘I just swallowed a lemon’ and ‘someone stepped in something gross’.
It took some coaxing - and a little flirting on Callie’s part - but after a few minutes Arizona had one and a half drinks swimming in her mostly-empty belly. She wasn’t feeling woozy, per se, but she was definitely a bit numb in the legs.
At some point during her casual conversation with Callie, Arizona spotted Teddy waving at them through the crowd. She and Cristina were over by the dart board, near the spot where the crowd seemed the thickest. Looping her arm through Callie’s, she steered her over and grinned widely at her best friend. “Hey!”
“Hey,” Teddy echoed, stirring a straw in what looked like a bright green cocktail. “I didn’t think we’d see you two here tonight.”
“Aren’t old married people supposed to be sitting at home, wearing Snuggies and knitting, or something equally as lame?” Cristina added, smirking at her old roommate.
Callie rolled her eyes. “Good thing we’re not old, don’t own Snuggies and have no clue how to knit,” she retorted, getting a laugh out of both Teddy and Arizona. “And I have it on good authority that you own a Forever Lazy, so suck on that, Yang.”
Cristina’s mouth fell open. She turned to her mentor and punched her in the arm, causing Teddy to curse loudly and nearly throw her drink all over the place. “I thought we had a deal! I keep your you-know-what quiet and you keep your trap shut about my...stuff.”
Teddy leveled a shaky stare on the other woman. It was abundantly clear that the cardio attending was ahead of all of them in the ‘number of drinks already consumed’ department. “I was drunk. So sue me.”
Arizona snorted into her drink and took another long, drawn out sip. The more she drank, the less disgusting it tasted. Go figure.
A loud eruption of cheers from the other side of the bar drew their attention, and Arizona tried to get a look at what caused it. “What’s going on over there? Did Joe get a new pinball machine or something?” She distinctly remembered the last one not lasting long, as some drunk, idiotic interns knocked it over in a fight.
“Worse,” Teddy sighed, finishing her cocktail and ditching it on a nearby table. She plucked Cristina’s drink out of her hand, ignoring the ‘hey!’ of protest, and started in on that one. “Beer pong.”
Arizona looked confused while Callie lit up like a Christmas tree. “Beer pong? Is that...?”
“Exactly what it sounds like,” Teddy finished. “This place is full of surgeons and other doctors with IQs higher than most politicians, and yet you bring in a ping pong table, some red cups and keep the booze flowing, and you’ve got yourself a bunch of frat boys.” Teddy had barely finished her sentence when Callie took off in hot pursuit of the roaring cheers coming from across the bar.
The brunette had first been introduced to beer pong in college, an experience she had enjoyed immensely. It didn’t take more than a few one-on-one encounters for her to become entranced by the game. She had perfected her craft just halfway through her sophomore year, and even though she hadn’t had the chance to play in a very long time, she was confident the rust wouldn’t last long.
Weaving through the massive amount of people huddled around the table, Callie was finally able to poke her head through to see the game action. A smile stretched wide across her face just as one of the guys playing sank an impossible shot to win the game. Callie cheered in excitement. “I have got to get in on this!”
Callie scanned her eyes around the congregation of people, searching for whoever was in charge of gathering people to play. Her line of sight landed on a burly guy with a clipboard and a pen. “Excuse me,” she called out, raising her hand to let him know who was speaking.
The larger man looked her up and down. “Yeah?”
Callie finally squeezed passed the last few extremely drunk people blocking her way. “How does this work?” she asked, pointing at the now empty beer pong table. “Do I have to sign up to play or is it a free-for-all?”
Smirking to himself, the man handed over his clipboard. “You need four people. Write their names, go grab them and then find me. We’ll get you started.”
Callie grabbed the clipboard and began writing. She had a feeling two out of the three people she had in mind would definitely be up for this. The last one, however...
***
Arizona was chatting with drunk-Teddy over the cheers and jeers from the crowd when she felt arms slink tightly around her waist. She leaned back into Callie and briefly closed her eyes when familiar lips brushed against her ear. “Where did you disappear to?”
“I have a proposition for you,” Callie said huskily, placing a strategic kiss along her wife’s neck.
Cristina rolled her eyes and took a long gulp from her drink, prepared to turn around and leave before the googley eyes made her sick.
“Wait,” Callie called out, getting her ex-roommate’s attention. “I signed the four of us up to play.”
Arizona’s eyes snapped open. “You what?”
Teddy was adamantly shaking her head while Cristina immediately started cackling.
“Calliope,” Arizona whined, turning in her partner’s arms to fix her with a pout. “It’s a bunch of drunk boys making asses out of themselves.”
“I’m in!” Teddy announced, swaying in place and setting her empty drink down on the nearest table. She missed and it tumbled to the floor, somehow not shattering.
Cristina took in Teddy’s current state and turned back to Callie. “I’m on your team.”
Callie let go of Arizona’s waist to high-five Cristina over the blonde’s head. “We are so gonna kick ass,” she said confidently before her attention was brought back down by a tug on the hem of her shirt.
“Hey! You don’t want to be on my team?” Arizona asked, sticking her bottom lip out ever so slightly.
“What? Of course I do,” Callie said, feigning surprise. She treaded carefully while making sure to get herself out of a volatile situation.
Arizona was amazing at almost everything but her aim sucked; and when it came to beer pong, Callie wanted to remain the champion.
“Two seconds ago you didn’t even want to play,” she pointed out. “And…Teddy! Teddy is your best friend,” she added coercively. “How do you think it makes her feel to know that you don’t want her on your team?” She nodded her head in the direction of the stumbling cardio attending, who was too busy double fisting a pair of vodka tonics to notice anything else.
Arizona leveled an unimpressed glare on Teddy. “I love her, but she’s a mess - and I want to win.” She turned around to fully face her best friend. “Teddy.”
No response.
“Teddy!”
The heart surgeon triumphantly slammed her two glasses down on the table in front of her. “Stop yelling! I’m right in front of you,” she slurred loudly at a complete stranger to Arizona’s left.
Arizona’s hopes sunk. She didn’t have a very good feeling about this.
Cristina walked up behind Teddy, grabbing her shoulders and turning her around. “That blondie.”
Callie chuckled and clapped a hand hard on Arizona’s back. “Good luck, baby.”
Arizona grumbled under her breath, but downed the rest of her drink and grabbed two more that Joe had set down on the bar for her. She was already starting to feel a confident buzz - although that might have been the denial settling in.
“Bring it, Torres.” She leaned in to whisper against Callie’s ear. “Winner gets to be on top.”
Callie felt her knees almost buckle while a tingling sensation shot throughout the rest of her body. That was a well calculated move by Arizona, but Callie had a strong resolve when it came to anything that resembled a competition, especially if her wife was on the opposing team. That competitive streak was the only thing keeping her from losing on purpose after a promise like that.
The brunette straightened her posture and readjusted her shirt. “I hope you enjoy the view from below - and behind,” she smirked as she grabbed her beer and yanked Cristina by the arm in the opposite direction. “Let’s go, Yang.”
“You lose, you’re in charge of the interns all week,” Teddy slurred at Cristina as she was pulled away.
It was Arizona’s turn to bite back a grin, smothering it by taking a sip of green, disgusting beer.
Oh, it was freakin’ on.
“Move it!” she said hotly, snatching Teddy and steering her away from the bar. “Shape up, Altman. You owe me one after last weekend.”
She was referring to the weasely little intern who had been stalking Teddy like a little lost puppy. Arizona had begrudgingly agreed to take him on to her service, but regretted it immediately. Alex had nearly stabbed the kid with a scalpel for hovering over his shoulder all week. These days her peds ward was starting to feel like a daycare for adults.
They only had to wait on the sidelines for a few minutes while another game finished and soon enough they were being beckoned forward. Picking up a ping pong ball from the table, Arizona wrinkled her nose at how sticky and gross it already was.
Someone placed new cups in front of them and suddenly there was a fresh flow of green St. Patrick’s beer expanded out in front of them. Arizona herself looked a little green at the idea of chugging it all down. She had already had two pints and felt like the food dye was turning her into Elphaba.
Callie looked like a little kid, her face shining with giddiness as she took in the expanse of the table. She rubbed her hands together in anticipation, then smacked Cristina in the arm in an attempt to psych her up. “You ready for this, Yang?”
“Ow.” Cristina rubbed her arm, trying to sooth the welt. “This isn’t the freaking Super Bowl, calm down.” She shouldered Callie over to the right to make room for herself.
The brunette rolled her eyes playfully and began bouncing from side to side. “Oh whatever. I am ready to rumble!” She drawled out the last word, attempting her best Michael Buffer impersonation.
Arizona’s mood was more apprehensive as she looked sideways at her team partner. “Are you read-”
Teddy had already picked up one of the red cups and was about to start drinking it.
Arizona all but slapped it out of her hand, grabbing it away and putting it back in place. “No! Bad, Teddy. Bad.” She pointed a finger in the other woman’s face. “We haven’t even started yet. Focus, woman.”
Teddy gave a curt nod and faced forward, narrowing her eyes at the other two, who were busy doing some sort of fist-bump hand shake thing. “Hey, Cristina,” she called out in a slow, mocking tone. “S’hope you throw better than you operated today, Edward Scissor Hands.”
Arizona cringed, praying to the sports Gods to get them through this and let them come out as winners. She had a lot riding on getting the victory here and already knew her sober aim was about as good as drunk-Teddy’s probably was.
The bouncer who had signed Callie up stepped forward and his booming voice rang out over the crowd. “The rules for beer pong played here tonight: there will be six cups per side, and they will be arranged in the shape of a triangle with the point facing the opposing team. Each cup must be standing on its own and not leaning against the others. Are you ladies with me so far?”
Arizona and Teddy shared an apprehensive look while Callie and Cristina worked on their celebration moves.
The bouncer smirked at the two blondes before glancing down at his clipboard and continuing. “Each team will get two shots per round - one from each member. When the shot is taken, the ping pong ball may be grabbed by the opposing side only after it has already made contact with a cup. You may not grab the ball before it has rebounded at least once.
“Once your team gets the ball into the opposition’s cup, they must drink the content in full and set it aside, reforming the triangle when necessary.”
Arizona scrunched her forehead and stared down at the triangle of sewage-coloured beer in front of her. Every cup was just about full and the idea of chugging the contents of more than one made her feel a little green.
“If both players on a team sink their shot on the same turn, that team will get one additional shot, taken by either member.” The bouncer ran a finger down his list. “Let’s see...keep your hands and other body parts off of the table when the other team is shooting, and don’t lean across when taking your own. The first team to remove all of their opponent’s cups wins the game.”
He looked up, studying all four women. “Any questions, ladies?”
Arizona opened her mouth but no words came out. She was pretty sure she had a vague enough idea that she could just copy what Calliope was doing and be okay. Teddy, on the other hand...
Arizona smacked her in the arm, startling her out of the spacy state she had fallen into. “Teddy?”
The bouncer walked over to them and handed Arizona both ping pong balls. "Looks like you need the advantage, so why don't you and your friend take the first shot?" He smirked and backed off to the sidelines.
Callie and Cristina openly laughed.
Arizona scoffed at him, then turned her attention to the ping pong balls in her hand. What was she supposed to do with them again?
“Here!” Teddy grabbed at them haphazardly, knocking one to the floor and succeeding in gripping the second. Before Arizona could finish her protest, she chucked it across the table, swaying dangerously to the side.
Cristina tried to duck as it pegged off of her forehead and flew towards Callie, who fumbled with it and then caught it before it hit the ground.
Arizona closed her eyes and groaned.
Cristina rose up to straighten her posture. "Next time, yell ‘fore’ before you throw."
Callie let out a quick snort. "You two make the perfect pair. Drunk Teddy throws as well as you do sober," she mocked, cocking a confident grin.
Arizona narrowed her eyes at her wife and mumbled under her breath. “Remember that in about five minutes when we’re kicking your ass, Torres.” She stuck her tongue between her teeth and focused as hard as she could on visualizing the path of her throw, slowly lining the ball up in her hand. It took her a moment to settle in before she let it fly in an arc toward the opposite triangle of cups.
It barely made it, bouncing off the leading edge of one of the back row cups and out. She stomped her foot and growled loudly.
“Oops,” Teddy said innocently, once again trying to lift a cup from the triangle to her lips. Arizona stole it a second time and set it back down.
Callie had to bite her lip to keep from laughing. She knew how much Arizona hated to lose - but that didn't stop her from letting her cockiness run wild. She grabbed one of the balls and stepped up to the edge of table, extending her arm out to line up her shot. "Let me show you how this is done, Robbins," she said with a wide smirk plastered across her face.
When Callie had spent a good fifteen or twenty seconds making a show of lining up her shot like a pro, Cristina lost her patience and smacked her on the arm. "Just shoot it! You're going to talk yourself into an air ball."
The brunette looked over her shoulder and growled at her ex-roommate. "Don't rush me!"
Cristina bit back a snarky reply. Lining up her shot again, Callie took in a deep breath and let the ball fly. It sailed beautifully through the air with supreme arc, landing ceremoniously in a cup along the right side of the table. She paused for a second and looked up at Arizona, tilting her head to the side. "And that's how it's done, baby." Callie grinned as she turned around to fist bump Cristina, not once but twice.
"Bitches be screwed," Cristina cheered.
Teddy reached for the cup but Arizona snatched it away before she could get her paws on it. “You need to sober up, not get drunker,” she pointed out, lifting the beer to her lips and taking a sip. Unfortunately the bartender had filled the drinks most of the way, just because he enjoyed seeing people suffer.
“All of it!” Callie called out, grinning like a fool. Arizona would be so drunk in the next ten minutes that she’d be carrying her home, but it would be totally worth it.
Arizona threw her head back and downed the rest of the liquid with four giant gulps, shivering violently when she swallowed and slamming the plastic down on the table. “Throw it, Yang,” she barked, glowering at the cardio surgeon while still making her ‘sour grape’ face at the taste.
“Oh don’t get your tighty whities in a wad,” Cristina mused. Picking the ball up off of the table, the cardio surgeon narrowed her eye sight on the back line of cups. She mimicked a few practice throws before finally releasing the ball into the air. It looked nothing like Callie’s shot, seeing as it was a straight line drive that nearly knocked one of the cups off of the table.
“Brick!” Teddy yelled out, before Arizona threw a hand over her mouth.
Callie tossed her hands up in the air. “What the hell was that? This isn’t bowling!”
A cascade of boos rang out from the crowd.
“Oh shut up,” Cristina called out, about two seconds away from giving the entire lot her middle finger.
Arizona felt a surge of confidence at Cristina’s lack of skills, but she knew the real challenge would be to put Callie in her place. She fished the ball out of her empty cup before tossing the red plastic into a nearby garbage can. The taste of beer sat heavily in her mouth as she sized up her next shot.
When she was a kid, Timothy had tried to teach her how to throw a ball. Their dad was away on a tour of duty, so her brother took it upon himself to make sure his sister wasn’t a total wuss - an endeavour that didn’t go entirely to plan. Arizona had hit Tim in the nose with a wayward baseball and was lucky enough that it didn’t break. After that, she stuck to the sidelines when it came to ball-related sports in general, other than a brief field hockey career in university.
Unfortunately, throwing a ping pong ball while slightly intoxicated was no different than a simple game of catch - and Arizona was just as bad at it.
Two more rounds went by and neither Teddy nor Arizona had sunk a single ball. Arizona was horribly embarrassed, if for no other reason than most of her colleagues were watching and Callie was going to mock her until the end of time. Cristina got one in, which Teddy drank, and Callie bounced one out while sinking another. The other team had all six cups left, while Arizona found herself staring at three.
“Time out!” she shouted, throwing up her hands and nearly smacking Teddy in the face.
“What? There are no time outs!” Cristina shouted from across the table.
Arizona flipped a hand haphazardly in her direction before grabbing Teddy by the shoulder and turning her around. “Okay, we need a plan.”
“Yeah, like ‘throw better’,” Teddy snickered.
Arizona snorted and rolled her eyes. “Just...aim for the middle of the triangle, okay? Maybe at the very least it’ll bounce off of one and into another before they can grab it.” She gripped Teddy by both shoulders and gave her a quick shake. “We need to win this or Callie’s going to tie me to the bed posts and leave me there for three days.”
Teddy slowly blinked in surprise, unsure if she had heard that right.
Arizona flushed a deeper shade of pink. “I talk too much when I drink. Let’s just play ball.”
“Are you two losers done babbling over there?” Cristina called over as she stuck an elbow out to lean against Callie. “Are you trying to figure out how to lose worser?”
Callie furrowed her brow. “Worser?” she echoed. “You’ve barely had anything to drink. Pull yourself together!”
Cristina snatched the ball away. “Relax, they’re horrible. It’s not like they’re gonna win, just look at ‘em.” She motioned a hand across the table. “Pathetic.”
Callie let out a quick snort at the scene unfolding in front of them. Teddy was a hundred sheets to the wind and one glance at Arizona told her that she wasn’t far behind.
Teddy was busy sucking the life out of a lime while Arizona mentally strategized how to get the upper hand on Callie. Things were getting spinny when she looked around too much, so she rested a hand against the table for balance. Thinking was hard right now.
Cursing her low tolerance when it came to chugging alcohol, Arizona shook her head and took aim anyway. The ball sailed in a straight arc through the air and her heart leaped into her throat when she realized it might actually go in.
Cristina, however, was one step above Arizona on the drinking scale, and snatched it away as it deflected off of a cup before it could go into another. Arizona let out a roar of defiance, stomping her foot again and slamming a palm against her forehead.
“Hey Cristina,” Teddy slurred, winding up for what looked like an across-the-room pitch. “You’ve got something on your face.”
Cristina cocked an eyebrow. “What the hell are you-”
Teddy made a hard jerking motion with her arm and succeeded in making Yang flinch. To everyone’s surprise, her ball sailed straight through the air and dropped in the cup closest to Callie.
Arizona shrieked and pounced on Teddy, and the two of them celebrated with a flurry of jumping hugs and cries of celebration, as though they had just won the Superbowl.
Callie brought her hand to her face and rubbed her sinuses. “You’ve got to be kidding me,” she grumbled. “How come you can’t make anything but the drunk fish over there can pull a shot like that out of her ass?” she barked at Cristina.
“Don’t get mad at me, she’s obviously more coordinated than we thought,” Cristina snapped back, grabbing the disqualified cup and downing its contents like it was a shot of tequila. She nonchalantly tossed the empty plastic over her shoulder.
“Drink it - drink it, Yang!” Teddy bellowed in between fits of laughter. It was clear that the drunk giggles were creeping in on Arizona, too, who was now halfway draped over Teddy for support - although it wasn’t a very sturdy support.
All Callie could do was grin like an idiot and laugh. They were both ridiculous and clearly unaware of just how drunk they actually were.
Arizona was still convinced she was sober enough to win this thing. Taking confidence from Teddy’s shot, she tossed the ball in the air a few times to catch it - and ended up fumbling twice, dropping it the second time and crawling under the table to look for it.
Teddy glanced down to watch but made no moves to help. As Arizona tried to stand up, she smacked her head on the bottom of the table, a muffled ‘Ow!’ reaching the other’s ears before she reappeared. Teddy helped steady her on her feet.
“You can do this, Arizona,” she said loudly in the peds surgeon’s face. “I believe in you, okay? Take your wife down and mop the floor with her face.”
Callie quirked a brow. “That’s a little harsh.”
Arizona flashed Callie a ‘sexy’ smile that came off a little more cross-eyed than she meant it to. She lifted the ball but seemed to freeze in place.
“Throw!” several voices called out when ten seconds went by and she didn’t make a move.
Arizona closed one eye, squinting the other, and lobbed it through the air. It landed dead center in the point of the triangle, floating in the green liquid like a fishing reel.
“Yes!” she screamed, pumping a fist in the air. She grabbed Teddy around the neck, planting a wet kiss on her cheek. “We are so freaking awesome!”
“Who’s the bitch now!” Teddy shouted to the brunettes across the table. “Celebratory drink!” She grabbed her second vodka tonic and polished it off.
Callie groaned loudly while Cristina muttered profanities under her breath. They were now in danger of losing if things kept up this way.
The brunette yanked Cristina away from the table to huddle and discuss their next move. “Okay, they only have two cups left. I make it, you make, they miss and we win. It’s simple.” She looked her teammate dead in the eye. “You got this, Yang? You got this?”
“I got this!” Cristina yelled back.
Both women straightened up, standing tall and confident. “Team Tang in the house!” Callie practically screamed before engaging in a full on chest bump with Cristina.
Arizona scrunched her face. “Wow.”
“Classy broads,” Teddy garbled, drinking the beer from one of their cups again.
“No!” Arizona snatched it away and put it back in place for the third time. “Bad Teddy. Down girl.”
Teddy’s upper lip curled back in displeasure. “That one didn’t taste so good.” Suddenly the beer wasn’t the only thing looking a little green.
Arizona’s eyes widened in surprise. “If you puke on me, I will kill you. Hold it in until we win.”
“New slogan,” Teddy snorted, just as Cristina managed to bounce her ball off of one of the cup lips. Arizona lunged for it, nearly knocking a glass over with her uncoordinated hand, and the ball landed in another with a splash.
“Boo-yah!” Cristina whirled around to face Callie, did some crazy sort of hand-slap-shake, ending with another chest bump, and proceeded to dance on the spot.
“I’m married to a nerd,” Arizona called out half-heartedly, although she couldn’t help but let her eyes gravitate downward as Callie shook her ass. “A hot nerd.”
“Focus,” Teddy cut in, snapping her fingers weakly in front of Arizona’s face. “If Torres makes this shot, we’re doomed. Doomed.”
Arizona thought about the consequences of Callie making the shot - eternal bragging rights and lord knew what kind of dirty, naughty plans she was scheming for later that night.
Well, that last one might not be so bad, though the constant gloating would probably ruin it all.
Watching Callie shake her booty and flaunt the sexuality she obviously had in spades, an idea popped into Arizona’s head. She wasn’t proud of it and she knew it was dirty, but at this point she was desperate. They only had one cup left and Callie and Cristina had three.
Turning around to face away from them, Arizona grabbed her shirt by the middle and started to tug it downward.
Teddy turned as well, furrowing her brow. “What’re you doing?” she hissed in a loud, unnecessary whisper.
“Keeping the game alive,” Arizona muttered, allowing the wide neckline to spill lower and expose the top of her cleavage. She was far from flashing an entire crowd of people, but suddenly her...‘assets’ were a lot more prominent and out there to see.
Today she was glad she had bought the festive, shapely and expensive lingerie for St. Patrick’s Day of all days. It held everything together perfectly and made it impossible for Callie not to notice.
From beneath her, Arizona thought smugly.
Turning back around, she bent forward a little and faked stretching out her lower back. She didn’t necessarily need to look at her partner to feel the eyes suddenly glued to her chest.
Glancing up from under her lashes, Arizona flashed her wife a sly, sexy smile and rested her palms against the edge of the table, leaning forward just enough to get her point across - letting her breasts do the dirty work for her.
“Make the shot, Calliope,” she said in a low, sexy voice, just loud enough for her opponents to hear.
Callie slowly turned, really taking her time to bask in the heavenly sight before her. She wasn’t sure which was taking longer to adjust, her eye sight or her heart beat. Between both sensations, she was having a seriously difficult time focusing on the very important task at hand.
What were they supposed to be doing again?
She felt a rush of heat radiate through her body, only some of which probably had to do with the decent amount of alcohol she had consumed. Callie knew she was staring - how could she not? It was such an obvious, evil ploy by Arizona, but one that the brunette didn’t particularly mind. At all. It didn’t help that she couldn’t seem to wipe away the goofy, awestruck grin that stretched across her face. She may as well have been drooling. Subtlety was not Callie’s strong suit, especially when it came to Arizona and her...‘stuff'.
Callie was only partially brought back to reality by Cristina yelling in her ear. “Hey! You can ogle blondie later. Focus!” she demanded, stretching her hand out to give Callie one of the ping pong balls. It was clear her teammate was still entranced by the rack popping out across the table because Callie made no effort whatsoever to move her hand.
Frustrated, Cristina yanked the woman’s wrist over and slammed the ball into her palm. Then she grabbed her by the collar and jerked her attention back to where it needed to be. “If you miss this shot, I will murder you in your sleep,” Cristina hissed. “I am not babysitting a flock of 007s.”
Callie nodded dumbly, trying her best to pull her mind out of the gutter.
Across the table, Teddy was glancing from Arizona to the other two, hiding behind yet another cocktail glass. “You are gonna be in so much trouble later,” she pointed out, knowing Callie would probably make Arizona pay for this.
“If all goes according to plan, I won’t be the one ‘paying’ for anything tonight,” Arizona said with a wide smirk. She kept her palms resting against the table and leaned forward a tiny bit more, so her breasts were centered with the back row of the cups. “Callie, c’mon, baby. Show me what you got.”
A low groan escaped the back of Callie’s throat and she briefly closed her eyes to steady herself. “Oh, I’ll be showing you all right,” she murmured, then forcing her eyes open and immediately taking the shot.
The ball flew out of Callie’s hand with more speed than she had probably intended. It shot through the air lightning quick before smacking off of Arizona’s left breast and splashing into the green liquid below.
“Backboard, baby!” she shouted triumphantly, while the rest of the bar erupted into cheers. Callie leaped about five feet off of the ground as Cristina flew into her arms, both girls jumping up and down in victory celebration.
Arizona looked horrified while Teddy just closed her eyes and sighed. “Nice job, Robbins,” she grumbled, hastily picking up the remaining beer cup and shoving it in her friend’s face. “Drink up.”
Pouting in defeat, Arizona whined as she forced herself to drink the entire cup all in one breath. At one point it nearly came out of her nose as she choked on the vile liquid, but she managed to get the entire thing down.
As she put it down and closed her eyes to make the world stop spinning, she suddenly felt Callie’s presence behind her and two arms slink around her waist. When she turned within the embrace, Callie’s Cheshire cat grin was on full display.
“Bet’chu think you’re suave now, don’tcha?” Arizona murmured, every part of her body suddenly feeling heavy. “Lucky shot.” She accentuated her point by poking Callie in the nose, only she kind of missed and her finger slid off to nudge her in the cheek instead.
Callie smirked as she grabbed Arizona’s hand, detaching it from her face and repositioning it back at the blonde’s side. “Suave? No. Amazingly good? Yes,” she said confidently, pushing an errant lock of hair out of her wife’s face and tucking it behind her ear.
“I just used what you put out there to my advantage. There’s no rule against that.” Callie’s eyes dropped down to the front of Arizona. “Thanks for the assist.”
Arizona scoffed and playfully backhanded her partner in the stomach. “Oh shut up,” she grumbled, though she contradicted her grumpiness by burying her face in the crook of Callie’s neck and melting into the embrace. Everything here was warm and smelled good, and the world spun a little less.
Teddy somehow had a fresh drink in her hand already and was watching the two of them while chewing on a straw. “Way to disarm the enemy,” she mused. “Rematch after you two finish cuddling?”
“Rematch?” Arizona lifted her head and arched an incredulous eyebrow at Teddy. “Oh no, there will be no rematch. A rematch will end with me face-down in the gutter outside while you wander into traffic.”
“Celebration drinks!” Cristina announced, returning to their sides and thrusting a fresh beer cup into both Callie and Arizona’s hands. Arizona kept one arm wrapped loosely around Callie’s waist, using her big strong wife for support as she eyed the liquid uncertainly. The green food dye was starting to make her feel ill.
“Everybody drink!” Cristina shouted, practically using the twenty-four ounce cup as a shooter.
Another cheer went up through the crowd as the next contestants started their game of beer pong, letting Arizona know that they were safe from another round of embarrassment. She lifted the drink to her lips and forced down a few gulps, trying not to make a face. She couldn’t have Callie think she was a total wuss after tonight.
While taking a sip of her newly acquired beer, Callie caught a quick glimpse of how contorted Arizona’s face looked as she was trying to throw back yet another drink. The brunette reached out and yanked the plastic cup from her wife’s grasp.
“Hey,” Arizona protested weakly.
Setting the cup far out of Arizona’s reach, Callie turned back around and eyed her wife. “I think you’re good. I don’t want you redecorating our bathroom with your insides, okay?” she affirmed, steadying the swaying blonde.
Arizona didn’t protest, instead choosing to go back to her happy place against Callie’s neck.
Curling an arm protectively around her back, Callie glanced over Arizona’s shoulder. “Uh - where’s Teddy?”
Arizona pulled back squinted around them, looking puzzled. “Don’t know. Didn’t she-” Stopping midsentence, she spotted the missing woman over by the bar, still beyond plastered and looking to bring herself closer to alcohol poisoning.
“She’s really not doing well, huh?” Callie asked, frowning.
Despite her inebriated state, Arizona was still conscious enough to worry. “No, she’s been over-compensating since Henry died. I’m kinda worried about her,” she admitted, settling her cheek against her partner’s shoulder.
Not really wanting to move out of their embrace for fear of Arizona doing a faceplant on the floor, Callie emphatically motioned for Cristina to go interfere just as some sleazy guy slinked up to Teddy’s side, looking to take advantage.
When Cristina silently protested, the brunette fixed her with a hard stare, causing the cardio surgeon to throw up her hands in defeat.
“Why am I always the designated drunk sitter,” Cristina mumbled to herself as she snatched a half-full cup of beer off of the nearest table, even though it wasn’t hers.
Callie gently rubbed a hand up and down Arizona’s back, who was now latched onto her like a koala bear. She rested her cheek against soft blonde hair. “How are you doing down there?” she asked quietly.
Even though Callie had won the game - a fact that she would never let Arizona forget - she was starting to feel a little guilty, knowing the kind of hell Arizona was in for during the next twenty-four hours. Arizona and beer did not mix well, and no matter how hard she tried, she always came out on the losing end.
“Dizzy,” Arizona admitted, feeling a bit pathetic but liking this whole upright-cuddling thing they had going on. “Like I’m full of green stuff. And also like I’m an old woman that can’t handle a few beers without needing a nap in between.” She groaned pitifully and squeezed her eyes shut. “How the hell did you talk me into drinking excessively? I’m thirty-six years old and we have a baby.”
Callie chuckled but quickly stifled the sound when she heard Arizona groan at the movement it made. “You know as well as I do that I can’t talk you into anything you don’t want to do, so don’t blame the spinning on me,” she said playfully, placing a drawn-out kiss on top of Arizona’s forehead.
Arizona mumbled incoherently in response.
Giving her wife a gentle squeeze, Callie stretched her vision over the top of the blonde’s head, eyeing the scene unfolding at the bar. It appeared that Cristina was having one hell of a time corralling Teddy to stop drinking and re-join them before she blacked out entirely.
Callie sighed, looking down at Arizona, who was snuggled well into the crook of her neck, shielding herself from the world. “We should probably take Teddy with us, don’t you think?” she asked, tightening her hold around the blonde’s waist.
Arizona hummed softly, nodding her head in agreement. “Yeah, I don’t want her going home alone. She doesn’t handle drinking excessively like we do.”
Callie snorted. Arizona was too dizzy to protest.
Ariozna checked her watch, and when the numbers finally stopped dancing around her vision, she realized that they had only been there for an hour and a half. It was looking like they would have to call it an early night - something that made Arizona wistfully remember her med school days, when she had the tolerance and energy to keep going all night long.
Holding onto the back of Callie’s shirt for support, Arizona tugged them both in the direction of Teddy and Cristina, preparing to make a speech that would get Teddy back to their place and safely into bed - with a garbage can nearby for added support.
It was apparent that Cristina had given up on her efforts to get Teddy to listen because she was perched on a stool with a line of tequila shots sitting in front of her. Either that, or Teddy had annoyed her into getting plastered right alongside her.
Strolling over to where the two were stationed, Callie clapped a hand on Cristina’s back, causing her to choke on the shot she was in the middle of swallowing. “Problems?” she inquired, roughly squeezing one of Cristina’s shoulders.
“Are you trying to kill me?” Cristina choked out, coughing in between gasps of air, tequila burning the inside of her sinuses.
Callie diverted her attention to Teddy, who was remarkably still standing on two feet. The heart surgeon had engulfed close to a tanker truck-load of alcohol in the short time she had been at Joe’s.
Callie gave Arizona a gentle nudge forward.
Arizona cleared her throat and leaned against the bar. “Teddy,” she said loud enough to be heard over the noise. “You okay in there?”
“Peachy,” Teddy replied cheerfully, eyeballing Cristina’s shots as though she were about to steal one.
“Hey,” Arizona said louder, placing a hand unsteadily on her best friend’s shoulder. “Listen, Calliope and I wanna take you home with us, okay?”
Teddy redirected her attention, quirking an eyebrow. “Come again?”
“You’ve been going through something,” Arizona continued, leaning closer as the newest game of beer pong brought on a fresh swell of noise. “Something bad. Calliope and I have been talking, and we wanna do something that’ll make you feel all better. And you’re so very, very drunk right now, and we think it’s a good time to do it. So we’re gonna take you home to our nice bed and take care of you and stuff.” She nodded firmly, in her mind settling the issue and not realizing how little sense she was making. “And you can borrow my clothes after - or you don’t have to wear clothes. Callie does it naked all the time.”
Callie’s eyes widened and she stared at her wife like she was - well, drunk and spouting random things without thinking. “Uhh, honey-”
Arizona didn’t hear her. “So get your bag, okay? Time for upstairs. Let’s go there.”
Furrowing her brow, Callie let Arizona’s words fully register. She had heard them but wasn’t sure if her brain was twisting everything of its own accord - it kind of sounded like Arizona had just propositioned Teddy with a threesome.
“Okay, that’s just wrong,” Cristina piped in before throwing back her last shot of tequila. “Ah!” she exhaled loudly, feeling the burn trickle down her throat.
Teddy’s face was scrunched in utter confusion while Callie was busy trying to piece together what exactly had just transpired.
Going with the flow, whatever the hell that happened to be at the moment, the heart surgeon ceremoniously slid off of the bar stool and landed unstably on her feet. “Let’s blow this popsicle stand,” she mumbled, latching onto Arizona’s arm for dear life.
Cristina swiveled around on her seat. “Which one of you yo-yos has the tab?”
Callie met Cristina’s eyes briefly before turning to the bartender. “Thanks for the drinks, Joe,” she said, fishing out a fifty and dropping it in the tip jar. “Put it on Yang’s.”
Cristina’s angry protests were drowned out by the crowd as the three attendings wound their way to the front door. Callie, the soberest one of them all, guided the blondes through and made sure to steer them away from the road and towards their apartment building.
At the bar, Cristina was still scowling as she reached for Callie’s fifty, only to have Joe slam his hand down over the tip jar, cutting her off. She lost the ensuing stare contest and begrudgingly started to dig for her wallet.
---
Part Two
Authors: camerashy06 & kennedysbitch
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer
Characters: Callie/Arizona, drunk!Teddy, Cristina
Summary: Deciding to take advantage of a night off, Callie takes Arizona out to celebrate St. Patrick’s Day in fine fashion. They end up dueling for bragging rights (and more) in a game of Callie’s choosing - Beer Pong.
A/N: Split into two parts for size. Beta’d by the shiny and special englishstrawbie.
-----
Everywhere Callie looked she saw green - green t-shirts, green pants, green necklaces. Even, on occasion, green hair. St. Patrick’s Day had arrived in full force at Seattle Grace Mercy West. The massive number of patients flooding the ER and the sheer stupidity of how half of them got there were enough to give Callie a migraine the size of Texas.
It was already six o’clock, and while they hadn’t officially made any plans for the evening, she was still holding out hope for a night of festivities with her wife. Arizona had made a feeble attempt to coerce Callie into taking her and Sofia to the parade earlier that morning, and while the brunette had originally considered it, she had been paged into work at eight o’clock.
After checking in on her last patient, Callie stalked off in pursuit of the attending’s locker room, more than ready to gather her things and leave for the day. She shoved the door open and made her way to her locker, rummaging through her purse in search of her cell phone. She hadn’t heard from Arizona all day, which made her wonder what the sneaky blonde could possibly be up to.
If there was one thing Arizona took seriously, it was holidays. Big and small, official and unofficial, and everything in between. Having met her mother, Callie now understood where she got it from.
Taking a seat on the bench, Callie let out a heavy sigh, allowing the strain of her work day melt away from her body. As she changed out of her scrubs and was pulling her street clothes back on, she was interrupted by the sound of someone clearing their throat.
Turning around with her shirt still in her hands, Callie saw the object of her thoughts standing in the doorway with a mischievous grin plastered across her face and a familiar twinkle in her eye. It didn’t take Callie long to figure out why.
She blinked, one eyebrow slowly creeping up toward her hairline as she pulled the shirt over her head. “Uh...”
Adjusting the baby in her arms, Arizona stepped into the room and let the door close behind her. “Say hi, Mommy,” she crooned to Sofia, bouncing her on her hip and waiting for a response. All she got was a gurgle and a kick, followed by Sofia nearly shoving a fist all the way into her own mouth.
Any other day and Callie would have jumped up to fuss over their daughter and tell her how much she had missed her. Right now, however, all she could do was take in the most ridiculous outfit her wife had put Sofia in to date.
“Oh come on,” Arizona scolded playfully, tugging on their little girl’s decorative fleecy green jacket. She adjusted the gold felt buttons along the front, then straightened the green and black hat sitting on her head, smiling when one of Sofia’s black-and-gold booties kicked at her arm. “Don’t look at her like that. It’s cute!”
It took a moment before Callie spoke, choosing her words very carefully so as not to land herself in the doghouse. Again.
“You...turned our baby into a leprechaun,” she stated, pulling her bottom lip into her mouth in an effort not to say any more.
Arizona had known she would get this kind of reaction - Callie usually made fun of her for being ridiculously into holiday celebrations, most of which ended with Sofia dressed in a themed costume of some type or another. Callie claimed it was because if Arizona dressed herself up, no one would take her seriously, so she used Sofia as a surrogate.
Apparently pediatric surgeons were just more festive than bone-breaking goddesses, or so Arizona thought. She was simply being imaginative.
Noting the hesitant look on her wife’s face, she rolled her eyes. “Whatever, Calliope. The nurses in peds loved her. Even Alex made that grunting noise he does whenever he’s trying not to show that he’s affected by something.”
Gathering Sofia by her underarms, Arizona extended her across the short distance, holding the baby in her partner’s face. “See? Cute.”
Sofia grinned a half-toothless grin, kicking her feet and giggling as she reached for her mommy.
Callie looked her daughter square in the eye, smiling warmly at the happy sounds the infant continued to make. “Your Mama is crazy, yes she is,” she cooed, receiving a few spit bubbles aimed at her face. Callie extended her arms out to embrace Sofia, settling her in a comfy resting place against her right hip.
Bringing her attention back to Arizona, who was still grinning at their daughter with loads of adoration and pride, Callie smirked. “Congratulations. I think you may have just engineered the first Hispanic leprechaun in human history,” she deadpanned, winking subtly at Arizona, then giving Sofia a quick peck on the cheek.
The blonde’s shoulders dropped. “Would you just let it go and accept how adorably squishy and cute she is?” she asked, both exasperated and amused at the same time.
Callie gently shuffled the baby in her arms, while Sofia curiously played with a curly strand of her mother’s dark hair. “So this is what you’ve been doing all day long? Making our daughter into an Irish dwarf?”
“Not all day,” Arizona defended. “We spent the morning cleaning up the apartment first, and then came the costume party. I took her around peds while we waited for you to scrub out of your last surgery. At least they’re in the festive spirit, unlike some people.”
“Only because you forced them to decorate the whole floor and wear green scrubs today,” Callie pointed out. She loved Arizona, she really did, but sometimes the woman didn’t see the difference between someone actually enjoying something or suffering through it because their boss forced it on them.
Arizona smirked despite the jab. “Sounds like someone needs a little lucky charm to lift her spirits,” she teased, stepping closer and sneaking a quick pinch of Callie’s ass. “You’re not wearing green, by the way.”
Callie had to bite her lip to keep from bursting out with laughter. “You are completely ridiculous, you know that, right?” she said fondly, lips curling up to form a smile. “And I have an appendage right here that’s green from head to toe, so by default, I am wearing green.” Callie kissed Sofia on the cheek once more.
“Using our daughter as a shield? That’s weak, Calliope,” Arizona laughed.
Callie guided one of their daughter’s arms out toward the blonde. “Go on, pinch Mama,” she encouraged, egging Sofia on. The little girl let out a squeal of delight. “I don’t see any green on Mama. Go on, get her!”
Overcome with adoration for both of her girls, Arizona merely watched as Callie tried to maneuver Sofia’s hand to pinch her, but it wound up as more of a St. Patty’s Day slap than anything else. She mock-flinched, pouting at them both. Sofia obviously took after her mother in the strength department - a good sign, given how tiny she’d been at birth. Arizona’s ‘pain’ was immediately subdued by a brief peck on the lips, courtesy of Callie.
“Now we’re even,” Callie said smugly.
Beaming, Arizona allowed Sofia to latch onto her index finger and give it a small tug. “I’ll have you know that I am wearing green,” she said defiantly, straightening her posture. “Pre-mature pinching, Torres.”
Callie looked her up and down, unconvinced. “I don’t see any.”
Arizona flashed her partner a secretive smile. “Play your cards right and you will after munchkin here goes to bed.”
Callie quickly glanced around the room to make sure no one was lurking before covering Sofia’s ears. “Getting lucky on St. Patrick’s day? It’s a cliché, but who am I to argue with an offer like that?” She eyed Arizona like a piece of fresh meat before swatting her on the ass. “Count me in.”
Blushing, Arizona shook her head and crossed her arms, fighting back a growing smile. “Just get your stuff; we’ve got plans to make.”
Finally ready to leave for the day, Callie readjusted Sofia on her hip and threw her bag over the opposite shoulder. “I talked to Mark earlier. He agreed to take Sof for the night if we wanted to go out and do something.” She produced a hopeful smile. “I know the whole green beer, getting-drunk-till-you-fall-on-your-ass thing isn’t really your scene, but we could still go out and have some fun - hit up Joe’s or something. What do you think?”
“I think my wife is hinting at how boring I am these days,” Arizona said, feigning offense and accentuating a pout. “I think I need to prove that I can drink her under the table, green beer and all.”
Okay, so that was a lie. She was a light weight when it came to anything but wine.
...okay so maybe she was a lightweight with too much wine as well, but still - she couldn’t have Callie thinking she was some lame old fuddy-duddy. Besides, having a night out of the house was a rare gift these days; she would jump at any chance to take her girl out for some fun. They always used to go to Joe’s for a drink or two and talk about their day pre-parenthood, something Arizona missed.
“Get your game face on, Torres,” she said confidentially, puffing up and trying to look even remotely tough despite the fact that her wife towered over her. “Tonight we party.”
Callie almost choked on her laughter. “Remember that in about four hours when you’re doubled over with your head in the toilet.” Ignoring the glare thrown her way, she held the door open wide. “After you.”
Arizona stuck out her tongue as she walked through, mumbling about how she’d show her otherwise.
Callie simply shook her head in disbelief. One of her wife’s worst qualities was that she never backed down from a challenge she was destined to lose, even if it was one she initiated herself.
Game on.
***
Callie didn’t even make it three feet inside of Joe’s before someone slapped a paper St. Patrick’s Day party hat on her head. Judging by Arizona’s laughter, she looked about as ridiculous as she felt.
Donning one of her own, Arizona made a goofy face and dragged Callie through the throng of people over to the bar, leaning across the counter and shouting that she wanted two beers. When they appeared in front of her, she lifted one to eye level and wrinkled her nose.
“Tell me how this is supposed to look appetizing,” she said to Callie, eyeballing the green liquid as though it were radioactive.
“It’s not,” Callie pointed out, opting to lean against the bar for now as there were no stools available. The place was packed from front to back, with the occasional eruption of cheers coming from one particular section.
Arizona looked less than thrilled at the prospect of digesting her beverage. “I think there’s a rule somewhere that says when you’re over thirty, you shouldn’t drink stuff like this.”
“It tastes the same,” Callie encouraged, snatching her glass and downing half of it in a few gulps.
The action garnered an inquisitive brow raise from Arizona. She hesitated before taking a small sip of her own.
After swallowing another few mouthfuls, Callie abruptly set her glass down on the bar counter. “The first one loosens you up. Drink it fast.” She unbuttoned her jacket, pulling it off and handing it across the bar to Joe. She had been a regular long enough that he always kept her prized possession in a safe place until she was ready to leave.
Arizona took another slow, calculated sip, openly checking her wife out over the rim of her glass. Man, Callie was gorgeous. Especially when she was relaxed and looking to have some fun. There was a swagger in her step and it gave Arizona chills every time.
“C’mon,” Callie argued. “Chug it, Robbins. Don’t be a sissy.”
Sighing, Arizona nodded in resignation and took in a deep breath. She tipped the drink back and managed to swallow about half of it before nearly choking when it went up her nose .
Coughing, Arizona shivered at the strong taste and shook her head. “See? Not a sissy. Bring on another one.” The look on her face said otherwise - somewhere between ‘I just swallowed a lemon’ and ‘someone stepped in something gross’.
It took some coaxing - and a little flirting on Callie’s part - but after a few minutes Arizona had one and a half drinks swimming in her mostly-empty belly. She wasn’t feeling woozy, per se, but she was definitely a bit numb in the legs.
At some point during her casual conversation with Callie, Arizona spotted Teddy waving at them through the crowd. She and Cristina were over by the dart board, near the spot where the crowd seemed the thickest. Looping her arm through Callie’s, she steered her over and grinned widely at her best friend. “Hey!”
“Hey,” Teddy echoed, stirring a straw in what looked like a bright green cocktail. “I didn’t think we’d see you two here tonight.”
“Aren’t old married people supposed to be sitting at home, wearing Snuggies and knitting, or something equally as lame?” Cristina added, smirking at her old roommate.
Callie rolled her eyes. “Good thing we’re not old, don’t own Snuggies and have no clue how to knit,” she retorted, getting a laugh out of both Teddy and Arizona. “And I have it on good authority that you own a Forever Lazy, so suck on that, Yang.”
Cristina’s mouth fell open. She turned to her mentor and punched her in the arm, causing Teddy to curse loudly and nearly throw her drink all over the place. “I thought we had a deal! I keep your you-know-what quiet and you keep your trap shut about my...stuff.”
Teddy leveled a shaky stare on the other woman. It was abundantly clear that the cardio attending was ahead of all of them in the ‘number of drinks already consumed’ department. “I was drunk. So sue me.”
Arizona snorted into her drink and took another long, drawn out sip. The more she drank, the less disgusting it tasted. Go figure.
A loud eruption of cheers from the other side of the bar drew their attention, and Arizona tried to get a look at what caused it. “What’s going on over there? Did Joe get a new pinball machine or something?” She distinctly remembered the last one not lasting long, as some drunk, idiotic interns knocked it over in a fight.
“Worse,” Teddy sighed, finishing her cocktail and ditching it on a nearby table. She plucked Cristina’s drink out of her hand, ignoring the ‘hey!’ of protest, and started in on that one. “Beer pong.”
Arizona looked confused while Callie lit up like a Christmas tree. “Beer pong? Is that...?”
“Exactly what it sounds like,” Teddy finished. “This place is full of surgeons and other doctors with IQs higher than most politicians, and yet you bring in a ping pong table, some red cups and keep the booze flowing, and you’ve got yourself a bunch of frat boys.” Teddy had barely finished her sentence when Callie took off in hot pursuit of the roaring cheers coming from across the bar.
The brunette had first been introduced to beer pong in college, an experience she had enjoyed immensely. It didn’t take more than a few one-on-one encounters for her to become entranced by the game. She had perfected her craft just halfway through her sophomore year, and even though she hadn’t had the chance to play in a very long time, she was confident the rust wouldn’t last long.
Weaving through the massive amount of people huddled around the table, Callie was finally able to poke her head through to see the game action. A smile stretched wide across her face just as one of the guys playing sank an impossible shot to win the game. Callie cheered in excitement. “I have got to get in on this!”
Callie scanned her eyes around the congregation of people, searching for whoever was in charge of gathering people to play. Her line of sight landed on a burly guy with a clipboard and a pen. “Excuse me,” she called out, raising her hand to let him know who was speaking.
The larger man looked her up and down. “Yeah?”
Callie finally squeezed passed the last few extremely drunk people blocking her way. “How does this work?” she asked, pointing at the now empty beer pong table. “Do I have to sign up to play or is it a free-for-all?”
Smirking to himself, the man handed over his clipboard. “You need four people. Write their names, go grab them and then find me. We’ll get you started.”
Callie grabbed the clipboard and began writing. She had a feeling two out of the three people she had in mind would definitely be up for this. The last one, however...
***
Arizona was chatting with drunk-Teddy over the cheers and jeers from the crowd when she felt arms slink tightly around her waist. She leaned back into Callie and briefly closed her eyes when familiar lips brushed against her ear. “Where did you disappear to?”
“I have a proposition for you,” Callie said huskily, placing a strategic kiss along her wife’s neck.
Cristina rolled her eyes and took a long gulp from her drink, prepared to turn around and leave before the googley eyes made her sick.
“Wait,” Callie called out, getting her ex-roommate’s attention. “I signed the four of us up to play.”
Arizona’s eyes snapped open. “You what?”
Teddy was adamantly shaking her head while Cristina immediately started cackling.
“Calliope,” Arizona whined, turning in her partner’s arms to fix her with a pout. “It’s a bunch of drunk boys making asses out of themselves.”
“I’m in!” Teddy announced, swaying in place and setting her empty drink down on the nearest table. She missed and it tumbled to the floor, somehow not shattering.
Cristina took in Teddy’s current state and turned back to Callie. “I’m on your team.”
Callie let go of Arizona’s waist to high-five Cristina over the blonde’s head. “We are so gonna kick ass,” she said confidently before her attention was brought back down by a tug on the hem of her shirt.
“Hey! You don’t want to be on my team?” Arizona asked, sticking her bottom lip out ever so slightly.
“What? Of course I do,” Callie said, feigning surprise. She treaded carefully while making sure to get herself out of a volatile situation.
Arizona was amazing at almost everything but her aim sucked; and when it came to beer pong, Callie wanted to remain the champion.
“Two seconds ago you didn’t even want to play,” she pointed out. “And…Teddy! Teddy is your best friend,” she added coercively. “How do you think it makes her feel to know that you don’t want her on your team?” She nodded her head in the direction of the stumbling cardio attending, who was too busy double fisting a pair of vodka tonics to notice anything else.
Arizona leveled an unimpressed glare on Teddy. “I love her, but she’s a mess - and I want to win.” She turned around to fully face her best friend. “Teddy.”
No response.
“Teddy!”
The heart surgeon triumphantly slammed her two glasses down on the table in front of her. “Stop yelling! I’m right in front of you,” she slurred loudly at a complete stranger to Arizona’s left.
Arizona’s hopes sunk. She didn’t have a very good feeling about this.
Cristina walked up behind Teddy, grabbing her shoulders and turning her around. “That blondie.”
Callie chuckled and clapped a hand hard on Arizona’s back. “Good luck, baby.”
Arizona grumbled under her breath, but downed the rest of her drink and grabbed two more that Joe had set down on the bar for her. She was already starting to feel a confident buzz - although that might have been the denial settling in.
“Bring it, Torres.” She leaned in to whisper against Callie’s ear. “Winner gets to be on top.”
Callie felt her knees almost buckle while a tingling sensation shot throughout the rest of her body. That was a well calculated move by Arizona, but Callie had a strong resolve when it came to anything that resembled a competition, especially if her wife was on the opposing team. That competitive streak was the only thing keeping her from losing on purpose after a promise like that.
The brunette straightened her posture and readjusted her shirt. “I hope you enjoy the view from below - and behind,” she smirked as she grabbed her beer and yanked Cristina by the arm in the opposite direction. “Let’s go, Yang.”
“You lose, you’re in charge of the interns all week,” Teddy slurred at Cristina as she was pulled away.
It was Arizona’s turn to bite back a grin, smothering it by taking a sip of green, disgusting beer.
Oh, it was freakin’ on.
“Move it!” she said hotly, snatching Teddy and steering her away from the bar. “Shape up, Altman. You owe me one after last weekend.”
She was referring to the weasely little intern who had been stalking Teddy like a little lost puppy. Arizona had begrudgingly agreed to take him on to her service, but regretted it immediately. Alex had nearly stabbed the kid with a scalpel for hovering over his shoulder all week. These days her peds ward was starting to feel like a daycare for adults.
They only had to wait on the sidelines for a few minutes while another game finished and soon enough they were being beckoned forward. Picking up a ping pong ball from the table, Arizona wrinkled her nose at how sticky and gross it already was.
Someone placed new cups in front of them and suddenly there was a fresh flow of green St. Patrick’s beer expanded out in front of them. Arizona herself looked a little green at the idea of chugging it all down. She had already had two pints and felt like the food dye was turning her into Elphaba.
Callie looked like a little kid, her face shining with giddiness as she took in the expanse of the table. She rubbed her hands together in anticipation, then smacked Cristina in the arm in an attempt to psych her up. “You ready for this, Yang?”
“Ow.” Cristina rubbed her arm, trying to sooth the welt. “This isn’t the freaking Super Bowl, calm down.” She shouldered Callie over to the right to make room for herself.
The brunette rolled her eyes playfully and began bouncing from side to side. “Oh whatever. I am ready to rumble!” She drawled out the last word, attempting her best Michael Buffer impersonation.
Arizona’s mood was more apprehensive as she looked sideways at her team partner. “Are you read-”
Teddy had already picked up one of the red cups and was about to start drinking it.
Arizona all but slapped it out of her hand, grabbing it away and putting it back in place. “No! Bad, Teddy. Bad.” She pointed a finger in the other woman’s face. “We haven’t even started yet. Focus, woman.”
Teddy gave a curt nod and faced forward, narrowing her eyes at the other two, who were busy doing some sort of fist-bump hand shake thing. “Hey, Cristina,” she called out in a slow, mocking tone. “S’hope you throw better than you operated today, Edward Scissor Hands.”
Arizona cringed, praying to the sports Gods to get them through this and let them come out as winners. She had a lot riding on getting the victory here and already knew her sober aim was about as good as drunk-Teddy’s probably was.
The bouncer who had signed Callie up stepped forward and his booming voice rang out over the crowd. “The rules for beer pong played here tonight: there will be six cups per side, and they will be arranged in the shape of a triangle with the point facing the opposing team. Each cup must be standing on its own and not leaning against the others. Are you ladies with me so far?”
Arizona and Teddy shared an apprehensive look while Callie and Cristina worked on their celebration moves.
The bouncer smirked at the two blondes before glancing down at his clipboard and continuing. “Each team will get two shots per round - one from each member. When the shot is taken, the ping pong ball may be grabbed by the opposing side only after it has already made contact with a cup. You may not grab the ball before it has rebounded at least once.
“Once your team gets the ball into the opposition’s cup, they must drink the content in full and set it aside, reforming the triangle when necessary.”
Arizona scrunched her forehead and stared down at the triangle of sewage-coloured beer in front of her. Every cup was just about full and the idea of chugging the contents of more than one made her feel a little green.
“If both players on a team sink their shot on the same turn, that team will get one additional shot, taken by either member.” The bouncer ran a finger down his list. “Let’s see...keep your hands and other body parts off of the table when the other team is shooting, and don’t lean across when taking your own. The first team to remove all of their opponent’s cups wins the game.”
He looked up, studying all four women. “Any questions, ladies?”
Arizona opened her mouth but no words came out. She was pretty sure she had a vague enough idea that she could just copy what Calliope was doing and be okay. Teddy, on the other hand...
Arizona smacked her in the arm, startling her out of the spacy state she had fallen into. “Teddy?”
The bouncer walked over to them and handed Arizona both ping pong balls. "Looks like you need the advantage, so why don't you and your friend take the first shot?" He smirked and backed off to the sidelines.
Callie and Cristina openly laughed.
Arizona scoffed at him, then turned her attention to the ping pong balls in her hand. What was she supposed to do with them again?
“Here!” Teddy grabbed at them haphazardly, knocking one to the floor and succeeding in gripping the second. Before Arizona could finish her protest, she chucked it across the table, swaying dangerously to the side.
Cristina tried to duck as it pegged off of her forehead and flew towards Callie, who fumbled with it and then caught it before it hit the ground.
Arizona closed her eyes and groaned.
Cristina rose up to straighten her posture. "Next time, yell ‘fore’ before you throw."
Callie let out a quick snort. "You two make the perfect pair. Drunk Teddy throws as well as you do sober," she mocked, cocking a confident grin.
Arizona narrowed her eyes at her wife and mumbled under her breath. “Remember that in about five minutes when we’re kicking your ass, Torres.” She stuck her tongue between her teeth and focused as hard as she could on visualizing the path of her throw, slowly lining the ball up in her hand. It took her a moment to settle in before she let it fly in an arc toward the opposite triangle of cups.
It barely made it, bouncing off the leading edge of one of the back row cups and out. She stomped her foot and growled loudly.
“Oops,” Teddy said innocently, once again trying to lift a cup from the triangle to her lips. Arizona stole it a second time and set it back down.
Callie had to bite her lip to keep from laughing. She knew how much Arizona hated to lose - but that didn't stop her from letting her cockiness run wild. She grabbed one of the balls and stepped up to the edge of table, extending her arm out to line up her shot. "Let me show you how this is done, Robbins," she said with a wide smirk plastered across her face.
When Callie had spent a good fifteen or twenty seconds making a show of lining up her shot like a pro, Cristina lost her patience and smacked her on the arm. "Just shoot it! You're going to talk yourself into an air ball."
The brunette looked over her shoulder and growled at her ex-roommate. "Don't rush me!"
Cristina bit back a snarky reply. Lining up her shot again, Callie took in a deep breath and let the ball fly. It sailed beautifully through the air with supreme arc, landing ceremoniously in a cup along the right side of the table. She paused for a second and looked up at Arizona, tilting her head to the side. "And that's how it's done, baby." Callie grinned as she turned around to fist bump Cristina, not once but twice.
"Bitches be screwed," Cristina cheered.
Teddy reached for the cup but Arizona snatched it away before she could get her paws on it. “You need to sober up, not get drunker,” she pointed out, lifting the beer to her lips and taking a sip. Unfortunately the bartender had filled the drinks most of the way, just because he enjoyed seeing people suffer.
“All of it!” Callie called out, grinning like a fool. Arizona would be so drunk in the next ten minutes that she’d be carrying her home, but it would be totally worth it.
Arizona threw her head back and downed the rest of the liquid with four giant gulps, shivering violently when she swallowed and slamming the plastic down on the table. “Throw it, Yang,” she barked, glowering at the cardio surgeon while still making her ‘sour grape’ face at the taste.
“Oh don’t get your tighty whities in a wad,” Cristina mused. Picking the ball up off of the table, the cardio surgeon narrowed her eye sight on the back line of cups. She mimicked a few practice throws before finally releasing the ball into the air. It looked nothing like Callie’s shot, seeing as it was a straight line drive that nearly knocked one of the cups off of the table.
“Brick!” Teddy yelled out, before Arizona threw a hand over her mouth.
Callie tossed her hands up in the air. “What the hell was that? This isn’t bowling!”
A cascade of boos rang out from the crowd.
“Oh shut up,” Cristina called out, about two seconds away from giving the entire lot her middle finger.
Arizona felt a surge of confidence at Cristina’s lack of skills, but she knew the real challenge would be to put Callie in her place. She fished the ball out of her empty cup before tossing the red plastic into a nearby garbage can. The taste of beer sat heavily in her mouth as she sized up her next shot.
When she was a kid, Timothy had tried to teach her how to throw a ball. Their dad was away on a tour of duty, so her brother took it upon himself to make sure his sister wasn’t a total wuss - an endeavour that didn’t go entirely to plan. Arizona had hit Tim in the nose with a wayward baseball and was lucky enough that it didn’t break. After that, she stuck to the sidelines when it came to ball-related sports in general, other than a brief field hockey career in university.
Unfortunately, throwing a ping pong ball while slightly intoxicated was no different than a simple game of catch - and Arizona was just as bad at it.
Two more rounds went by and neither Teddy nor Arizona had sunk a single ball. Arizona was horribly embarrassed, if for no other reason than most of her colleagues were watching and Callie was going to mock her until the end of time. Cristina got one in, which Teddy drank, and Callie bounced one out while sinking another. The other team had all six cups left, while Arizona found herself staring at three.
“Time out!” she shouted, throwing up her hands and nearly smacking Teddy in the face.
“What? There are no time outs!” Cristina shouted from across the table.
Arizona flipped a hand haphazardly in her direction before grabbing Teddy by the shoulder and turning her around. “Okay, we need a plan.”
“Yeah, like ‘throw better’,” Teddy snickered.
Arizona snorted and rolled her eyes. “Just...aim for the middle of the triangle, okay? Maybe at the very least it’ll bounce off of one and into another before they can grab it.” She gripped Teddy by both shoulders and gave her a quick shake. “We need to win this or Callie’s going to tie me to the bed posts and leave me there for three days.”
Teddy slowly blinked in surprise, unsure if she had heard that right.
Arizona flushed a deeper shade of pink. “I talk too much when I drink. Let’s just play ball.”
“Are you two losers done babbling over there?” Cristina called over as she stuck an elbow out to lean against Callie. “Are you trying to figure out how to lose worser?”
Callie furrowed her brow. “Worser?” she echoed. “You’ve barely had anything to drink. Pull yourself together!”
Cristina snatched the ball away. “Relax, they’re horrible. It’s not like they’re gonna win, just look at ‘em.” She motioned a hand across the table. “Pathetic.”
Callie let out a quick snort at the scene unfolding in front of them. Teddy was a hundred sheets to the wind and one glance at Arizona told her that she wasn’t far behind.
Teddy was busy sucking the life out of a lime while Arizona mentally strategized how to get the upper hand on Callie. Things were getting spinny when she looked around too much, so she rested a hand against the table for balance. Thinking was hard right now.
Cursing her low tolerance when it came to chugging alcohol, Arizona shook her head and took aim anyway. The ball sailed in a straight arc through the air and her heart leaped into her throat when she realized it might actually go in.
Cristina, however, was one step above Arizona on the drinking scale, and snatched it away as it deflected off of a cup before it could go into another. Arizona let out a roar of defiance, stomping her foot again and slamming a palm against her forehead.
“Hey Cristina,” Teddy slurred, winding up for what looked like an across-the-room pitch. “You’ve got something on your face.”
Cristina cocked an eyebrow. “What the hell are you-”
Teddy made a hard jerking motion with her arm and succeeded in making Yang flinch. To everyone’s surprise, her ball sailed straight through the air and dropped in the cup closest to Callie.
Arizona shrieked and pounced on Teddy, and the two of them celebrated with a flurry of jumping hugs and cries of celebration, as though they had just won the Superbowl.
Callie brought her hand to her face and rubbed her sinuses. “You’ve got to be kidding me,” she grumbled. “How come you can’t make anything but the drunk fish over there can pull a shot like that out of her ass?” she barked at Cristina.
“Don’t get mad at me, she’s obviously more coordinated than we thought,” Cristina snapped back, grabbing the disqualified cup and downing its contents like it was a shot of tequila. She nonchalantly tossed the empty plastic over her shoulder.
“Drink it - drink it, Yang!” Teddy bellowed in between fits of laughter. It was clear that the drunk giggles were creeping in on Arizona, too, who was now halfway draped over Teddy for support - although it wasn’t a very sturdy support.
All Callie could do was grin like an idiot and laugh. They were both ridiculous and clearly unaware of just how drunk they actually were.
Arizona was still convinced she was sober enough to win this thing. Taking confidence from Teddy’s shot, she tossed the ball in the air a few times to catch it - and ended up fumbling twice, dropping it the second time and crawling under the table to look for it.
Teddy glanced down to watch but made no moves to help. As Arizona tried to stand up, she smacked her head on the bottom of the table, a muffled ‘Ow!’ reaching the other’s ears before she reappeared. Teddy helped steady her on her feet.
“You can do this, Arizona,” she said loudly in the peds surgeon’s face. “I believe in you, okay? Take your wife down and mop the floor with her face.”
Callie quirked a brow. “That’s a little harsh.”
Arizona flashed Callie a ‘sexy’ smile that came off a little more cross-eyed than she meant it to. She lifted the ball but seemed to freeze in place.
“Throw!” several voices called out when ten seconds went by and she didn’t make a move.
Arizona closed one eye, squinting the other, and lobbed it through the air. It landed dead center in the point of the triangle, floating in the green liquid like a fishing reel.
“Yes!” she screamed, pumping a fist in the air. She grabbed Teddy around the neck, planting a wet kiss on her cheek. “We are so freaking awesome!”
“Who’s the bitch now!” Teddy shouted to the brunettes across the table. “Celebratory drink!” She grabbed her second vodka tonic and polished it off.
Callie groaned loudly while Cristina muttered profanities under her breath. They were now in danger of losing if things kept up this way.
The brunette yanked Cristina away from the table to huddle and discuss their next move. “Okay, they only have two cups left. I make it, you make, they miss and we win. It’s simple.” She looked her teammate dead in the eye. “You got this, Yang? You got this?”
“I got this!” Cristina yelled back.
Both women straightened up, standing tall and confident. “Team Tang in the house!” Callie practically screamed before engaging in a full on chest bump with Cristina.
Arizona scrunched her face. “Wow.”
“Classy broads,” Teddy garbled, drinking the beer from one of their cups again.
“No!” Arizona snatched it away and put it back in place for the third time. “Bad Teddy. Down girl.”
Teddy’s upper lip curled back in displeasure. “That one didn’t taste so good.” Suddenly the beer wasn’t the only thing looking a little green.
Arizona’s eyes widened in surprise. “If you puke on me, I will kill you. Hold it in until we win.”
“New slogan,” Teddy snorted, just as Cristina managed to bounce her ball off of one of the cup lips. Arizona lunged for it, nearly knocking a glass over with her uncoordinated hand, and the ball landed in another with a splash.
“Boo-yah!” Cristina whirled around to face Callie, did some crazy sort of hand-slap-shake, ending with another chest bump, and proceeded to dance on the spot.
“I’m married to a nerd,” Arizona called out half-heartedly, although she couldn’t help but let her eyes gravitate downward as Callie shook her ass. “A hot nerd.”
“Focus,” Teddy cut in, snapping her fingers weakly in front of Arizona’s face. “If Torres makes this shot, we’re doomed. Doomed.”
Arizona thought about the consequences of Callie making the shot - eternal bragging rights and lord knew what kind of dirty, naughty plans she was scheming for later that night.
Well, that last one might not be so bad, though the constant gloating would probably ruin it all.
Watching Callie shake her booty and flaunt the sexuality she obviously had in spades, an idea popped into Arizona’s head. She wasn’t proud of it and she knew it was dirty, but at this point she was desperate. They only had one cup left and Callie and Cristina had three.
Turning around to face away from them, Arizona grabbed her shirt by the middle and started to tug it downward.
Teddy turned as well, furrowing her brow. “What’re you doing?” she hissed in a loud, unnecessary whisper.
“Keeping the game alive,” Arizona muttered, allowing the wide neckline to spill lower and expose the top of her cleavage. She was far from flashing an entire crowd of people, but suddenly her...‘assets’ were a lot more prominent and out there to see.
Today she was glad she had bought the festive, shapely and expensive lingerie for St. Patrick’s Day of all days. It held everything together perfectly and made it impossible for Callie not to notice.
From beneath her, Arizona thought smugly.
Turning back around, she bent forward a little and faked stretching out her lower back. She didn’t necessarily need to look at her partner to feel the eyes suddenly glued to her chest.
Glancing up from under her lashes, Arizona flashed her wife a sly, sexy smile and rested her palms against the edge of the table, leaning forward just enough to get her point across - letting her breasts do the dirty work for her.
“Make the shot, Calliope,” she said in a low, sexy voice, just loud enough for her opponents to hear.
Callie slowly turned, really taking her time to bask in the heavenly sight before her. She wasn’t sure which was taking longer to adjust, her eye sight or her heart beat. Between both sensations, she was having a seriously difficult time focusing on the very important task at hand.
What were they supposed to be doing again?
She felt a rush of heat radiate through her body, only some of which probably had to do with the decent amount of alcohol she had consumed. Callie knew she was staring - how could she not? It was such an obvious, evil ploy by Arizona, but one that the brunette didn’t particularly mind. At all. It didn’t help that she couldn’t seem to wipe away the goofy, awestruck grin that stretched across her face. She may as well have been drooling. Subtlety was not Callie’s strong suit, especially when it came to Arizona and her...‘stuff'.
Callie was only partially brought back to reality by Cristina yelling in her ear. “Hey! You can ogle blondie later. Focus!” she demanded, stretching her hand out to give Callie one of the ping pong balls. It was clear her teammate was still entranced by the rack popping out across the table because Callie made no effort whatsoever to move her hand.
Frustrated, Cristina yanked the woman’s wrist over and slammed the ball into her palm. Then she grabbed her by the collar and jerked her attention back to where it needed to be. “If you miss this shot, I will murder you in your sleep,” Cristina hissed. “I am not babysitting a flock of 007s.”
Callie nodded dumbly, trying her best to pull her mind out of the gutter.
Across the table, Teddy was glancing from Arizona to the other two, hiding behind yet another cocktail glass. “You are gonna be in so much trouble later,” she pointed out, knowing Callie would probably make Arizona pay for this.
“If all goes according to plan, I won’t be the one ‘paying’ for anything tonight,” Arizona said with a wide smirk. She kept her palms resting against the table and leaned forward a tiny bit more, so her breasts were centered with the back row of the cups. “Callie, c’mon, baby. Show me what you got.”
A low groan escaped the back of Callie’s throat and she briefly closed her eyes to steady herself. “Oh, I’ll be showing you all right,” she murmured, then forcing her eyes open and immediately taking the shot.
The ball flew out of Callie’s hand with more speed than she had probably intended. It shot through the air lightning quick before smacking off of Arizona’s left breast and splashing into the green liquid below.
“Backboard, baby!” she shouted triumphantly, while the rest of the bar erupted into cheers. Callie leaped about five feet off of the ground as Cristina flew into her arms, both girls jumping up and down in victory celebration.
Arizona looked horrified while Teddy just closed her eyes and sighed. “Nice job, Robbins,” she grumbled, hastily picking up the remaining beer cup and shoving it in her friend’s face. “Drink up.”
Pouting in defeat, Arizona whined as she forced herself to drink the entire cup all in one breath. At one point it nearly came out of her nose as she choked on the vile liquid, but she managed to get the entire thing down.
As she put it down and closed her eyes to make the world stop spinning, she suddenly felt Callie’s presence behind her and two arms slink around her waist. When she turned within the embrace, Callie’s Cheshire cat grin was on full display.
“Bet’chu think you’re suave now, don’tcha?” Arizona murmured, every part of her body suddenly feeling heavy. “Lucky shot.” She accentuated her point by poking Callie in the nose, only she kind of missed and her finger slid off to nudge her in the cheek instead.
Callie smirked as she grabbed Arizona’s hand, detaching it from her face and repositioning it back at the blonde’s side. “Suave? No. Amazingly good? Yes,” she said confidently, pushing an errant lock of hair out of her wife’s face and tucking it behind her ear.
“I just used what you put out there to my advantage. There’s no rule against that.” Callie’s eyes dropped down to the front of Arizona. “Thanks for the assist.”
Arizona scoffed and playfully backhanded her partner in the stomach. “Oh shut up,” she grumbled, though she contradicted her grumpiness by burying her face in the crook of Callie’s neck and melting into the embrace. Everything here was warm and smelled good, and the world spun a little less.
Teddy somehow had a fresh drink in her hand already and was watching the two of them while chewing on a straw. “Way to disarm the enemy,” she mused. “Rematch after you two finish cuddling?”
“Rematch?” Arizona lifted her head and arched an incredulous eyebrow at Teddy. “Oh no, there will be no rematch. A rematch will end with me face-down in the gutter outside while you wander into traffic.”
“Celebration drinks!” Cristina announced, returning to their sides and thrusting a fresh beer cup into both Callie and Arizona’s hands. Arizona kept one arm wrapped loosely around Callie’s waist, using her big strong wife for support as she eyed the liquid uncertainly. The green food dye was starting to make her feel ill.
“Everybody drink!” Cristina shouted, practically using the twenty-four ounce cup as a shooter.
Another cheer went up through the crowd as the next contestants started their game of beer pong, letting Arizona know that they were safe from another round of embarrassment. She lifted the drink to her lips and forced down a few gulps, trying not to make a face. She couldn’t have Callie think she was a total wuss after tonight.
While taking a sip of her newly acquired beer, Callie caught a quick glimpse of how contorted Arizona’s face looked as she was trying to throw back yet another drink. The brunette reached out and yanked the plastic cup from her wife’s grasp.
“Hey,” Arizona protested weakly.
Setting the cup far out of Arizona’s reach, Callie turned back around and eyed her wife. “I think you’re good. I don’t want you redecorating our bathroom with your insides, okay?” she affirmed, steadying the swaying blonde.
Arizona didn’t protest, instead choosing to go back to her happy place against Callie’s neck.
Curling an arm protectively around her back, Callie glanced over Arizona’s shoulder. “Uh - where’s Teddy?”
Arizona pulled back squinted around them, looking puzzled. “Don’t know. Didn’t she-” Stopping midsentence, she spotted the missing woman over by the bar, still beyond plastered and looking to bring herself closer to alcohol poisoning.
“She’s really not doing well, huh?” Callie asked, frowning.
Despite her inebriated state, Arizona was still conscious enough to worry. “No, she’s been over-compensating since Henry died. I’m kinda worried about her,” she admitted, settling her cheek against her partner’s shoulder.
Not really wanting to move out of their embrace for fear of Arizona doing a faceplant on the floor, Callie emphatically motioned for Cristina to go interfere just as some sleazy guy slinked up to Teddy’s side, looking to take advantage.
When Cristina silently protested, the brunette fixed her with a hard stare, causing the cardio surgeon to throw up her hands in defeat.
“Why am I always the designated drunk sitter,” Cristina mumbled to herself as she snatched a half-full cup of beer off of the nearest table, even though it wasn’t hers.
Callie gently rubbed a hand up and down Arizona’s back, who was now latched onto her like a koala bear. She rested her cheek against soft blonde hair. “How are you doing down there?” she asked quietly.
Even though Callie had won the game - a fact that she would never let Arizona forget - she was starting to feel a little guilty, knowing the kind of hell Arizona was in for during the next twenty-four hours. Arizona and beer did not mix well, and no matter how hard she tried, she always came out on the losing end.
“Dizzy,” Arizona admitted, feeling a bit pathetic but liking this whole upright-cuddling thing they had going on. “Like I’m full of green stuff. And also like I’m an old woman that can’t handle a few beers without needing a nap in between.” She groaned pitifully and squeezed her eyes shut. “How the hell did you talk me into drinking excessively? I’m thirty-six years old and we have a baby.”
Callie chuckled but quickly stifled the sound when she heard Arizona groan at the movement it made. “You know as well as I do that I can’t talk you into anything you don’t want to do, so don’t blame the spinning on me,” she said playfully, placing a drawn-out kiss on top of Arizona’s forehead.
Arizona mumbled incoherently in response.
Giving her wife a gentle squeeze, Callie stretched her vision over the top of the blonde’s head, eyeing the scene unfolding at the bar. It appeared that Cristina was having one hell of a time corralling Teddy to stop drinking and re-join them before she blacked out entirely.
Callie sighed, looking down at Arizona, who was snuggled well into the crook of her neck, shielding herself from the world. “We should probably take Teddy with us, don’t you think?” she asked, tightening her hold around the blonde’s waist.
Arizona hummed softly, nodding her head in agreement. “Yeah, I don’t want her going home alone. She doesn’t handle drinking excessively like we do.”
Callie snorted. Arizona was too dizzy to protest.
Ariozna checked her watch, and when the numbers finally stopped dancing around her vision, she realized that they had only been there for an hour and a half. It was looking like they would have to call it an early night - something that made Arizona wistfully remember her med school days, when she had the tolerance and energy to keep going all night long.
Holding onto the back of Callie’s shirt for support, Arizona tugged them both in the direction of Teddy and Cristina, preparing to make a speech that would get Teddy back to their place and safely into bed - with a garbage can nearby for added support.
It was apparent that Cristina had given up on her efforts to get Teddy to listen because she was perched on a stool with a line of tequila shots sitting in front of her. Either that, or Teddy had annoyed her into getting plastered right alongside her.
Strolling over to where the two were stationed, Callie clapped a hand on Cristina’s back, causing her to choke on the shot she was in the middle of swallowing. “Problems?” she inquired, roughly squeezing one of Cristina’s shoulders.
“Are you trying to kill me?” Cristina choked out, coughing in between gasps of air, tequila burning the inside of her sinuses.
Callie diverted her attention to Teddy, who was remarkably still standing on two feet. The heart surgeon had engulfed close to a tanker truck-load of alcohol in the short time she had been at Joe’s.
Callie gave Arizona a gentle nudge forward.
Arizona cleared her throat and leaned against the bar. “Teddy,” she said loud enough to be heard over the noise. “You okay in there?”
“Peachy,” Teddy replied cheerfully, eyeballing Cristina’s shots as though she were about to steal one.
“Hey,” Arizona said louder, placing a hand unsteadily on her best friend’s shoulder. “Listen, Calliope and I wanna take you home with us, okay?”
Teddy redirected her attention, quirking an eyebrow. “Come again?”
“You’ve been going through something,” Arizona continued, leaning closer as the newest game of beer pong brought on a fresh swell of noise. “Something bad. Calliope and I have been talking, and we wanna do something that’ll make you feel all better. And you’re so very, very drunk right now, and we think it’s a good time to do it. So we’re gonna take you home to our nice bed and take care of you and stuff.” She nodded firmly, in her mind settling the issue and not realizing how little sense she was making. “And you can borrow my clothes after - or you don’t have to wear clothes. Callie does it naked all the time.”
Callie’s eyes widened and she stared at her wife like she was - well, drunk and spouting random things without thinking. “Uhh, honey-”
Arizona didn’t hear her. “So get your bag, okay? Time for upstairs. Let’s go there.”
Furrowing her brow, Callie let Arizona’s words fully register. She had heard them but wasn’t sure if her brain was twisting everything of its own accord - it kind of sounded like Arizona had just propositioned Teddy with a threesome.
“Okay, that’s just wrong,” Cristina piped in before throwing back her last shot of tequila. “Ah!” she exhaled loudly, feeling the burn trickle down her throat.
Teddy’s face was scrunched in utter confusion while Callie was busy trying to piece together what exactly had just transpired.
Going with the flow, whatever the hell that happened to be at the moment, the heart surgeon ceremoniously slid off of the bar stool and landed unstably on her feet. “Let’s blow this popsicle stand,” she mumbled, latching onto Arizona’s arm for dear life.
Cristina swiveled around on her seat. “Which one of you yo-yos has the tab?”
Callie met Cristina’s eyes briefly before turning to the bartender. “Thanks for the drinks, Joe,” she said, fishing out a fifty and dropping it in the tip jar. “Put it on Yang’s.”
Cristina’s angry protests were drowned out by the crowd as the three attendings wound their way to the front door. Callie, the soberest one of them all, guided the blondes through and made sure to steer them away from the road and towards their apartment building.
At the bar, Cristina was still scowling as she reached for Callie’s fifty, only to have Joe slam his hand down over the tip jar, cutting her off. She lost the ensuing stare contest and begrudgingly started to dig for her wallet.
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Part Two