Owl City Shuffle (2/3)
( Chapter 1)
*
Chapter: 2 - If My Heart Was a House (Bella's POV)
It was the dead of the night as I was walking back home at human speed with Edward from Renesmee's and my joint "20th-and-First-Birthday" and "Surviving-That-First-Torturous-Vampire-Year" party. Despite my best intentions, Alice still wanted to celebrate my "20th" birthday and Renesmee's "1st" birthday, even though I clearly stopped aging a year ago and Renesmee's obviously too big to be a one-year-old girl. All in all, the party was still grand and was held at Cullen Manor. Everyone I possibly knew was invited - except Renee and Phil unfortunately, they had to cancel last minute. Oh, and of course my high school friends couldn't come either, it was just the beginning of a new school/collage/university year. Everyone was also in on the "Surviving-That-First-Torturous-Vampire-Year" part of the party except for Charlie though - he was the only one who didn't know about the Cullens and me being vampires still. Other than those details, the party was a hit.
Renesmee was fast asleep and deep in unconsciousness as I carried her home. Despite the fact that Renesmee was literally one-year-old, she was as big and (probably) as heavy as a 7 or 8 year old - though her weight didn't matter to me as she still felt feather light as I was carrying her. Between Edward and me was total silence, though it was a comfortable silence. The forest around us wasn't as soundless though as the crickets were chirping, streams were still flowing, the buzz of flying bugs continued and the wind was whistling between the trees.
You're the sky that I fell through,
and I remember the view
whenever I'm holding you
Edward held my hand the entire time.
I'm not quite sure yet whether Edward still doesn't know that every time he touches me or holds me in any way, my skin feels like it's been electrocuted. Had I still been human, I would have been red to my hairline and my heart would have been pounding out of my chest every time he does this. Since I'm not human but vampire now, my skin always has this electrified feeling or, if he lets go, I would get this strange ache from the place he touched me to want him to touch me again.
My love for him over the course of this past year has grown and it continues to keep growing. I remember thinking back to the first few months of this new life and realizing that my love for him has intensified. I also realized at that time with amazing awe that, had I been human, my old mind wouldn't have been capable of holding that much love or that my heart would not have been strong enough to bear it. Comparing my love for him now to those first few months, I absentmindedly shook my head and smiled as I realized that the love I had for him since then has multiplied itself by 365 - one for each day of the year.
Edward finally spoke up as he acknowledged I was still shaking my head. "Why are you shaking your head, love?" he asked.
I'd forgotten that I didn't feel the need to take my shield off my mind lately and Edward didn't mind either. It was still off to hear Edward ask why I was doing such mundane gestures lately because I thought he could still hear my thoughts and see the reason behind them.
I opened my mouth and was about to say "nothing really" out of habit but stopped myself. My love for my Edward Anthony Masen Cullen was wasn't just "nothing" - it was everything.
The sun hung from a string
looking down on the world
as it warmed over everything
"Oh, I was just thinking about you and my love for you," I answered truthfully. He smiled that favourite crooked smile of mine then kissed me sweetly.
We walked together in silence once again after that, but this time we continued to look into each other's eyes until we reached the cottage.
We both unwillingly tore our eyes off one another as we entered the familiar home. Edward, being the gentleman he was, opened every door that I had to pass through to get to Renesmee's room even though he knew very well I could have done so myself. After setting Renesmee to her feet to change her and after changing her into her pj's (she actually cooperated for once and was able to go back to sleep), I set her on her new bed. Before I left her alone, I pressed Renesmee's small dimpled hand onto my cheek and watched her dream for a good 10 minutes. Edward stood behind me, but I could tell that he, too, was watching Renesmee's dreams in his mind.
Even though I didn't have my fill of Renesmee's dreams yet, I reluctantly tore my face away from her palm. Quickly, I walked out of the room in silence using my vampire speed and senses to automatically guide me to the largest window of my cottage located at the front of my home. I could feel Edward's questioning gaze on me as I left the room. When he realized where I was, he came over to me, hugged me by the waist and gently set his chin onto my shoulder.
"Is everything okay, love?" he asked.
I easily detected the slight anxiety in his voice. Oh the horrors I would rather not see if he thought something was terribly wrong.
I shook my head, "Everything's alright." I could tell that this was not a satisfying answer for him so I continued with a sigh, "I just, I don't know…"
Honestly, I didn't know how to finish the sentence. I lifted my shield off my mind for a moment, letting Edward taste the emotions running through me and passing through my mind as I tried to process them. Happiness, sadness, confusion, worry - I couldn't really assemble the pieces together as to why I was feeling this way though. After I thought Edward had his fill of trying to decipher my thoughts and emotions, I let my shield on guard once again, cutting my thoughts off of his mind. Edward did not say anything about it.
After a while, Edward tilted his head towards me and I shifted my head accordingly so he wasn't too uncomfortable. I stared outside the window in silence as he thought about his thoughts on my feelings.
"Why don't we go outside, Bella?" Edward asked suddenly. I shifted my body so I could look at him properly. What's the reason for going outside? my eyes questioned. "No reason at all," he continued, "I just thought it was too nice to let the beautiful night go to waste. Besides it would probably ease your tension and emotions." I couldn't argue with that logic.
He let go of my waist carefully. Just like I thought about earlier, where his arms left my waist, my waist ached for his arms once more. The same thing happened when his chin left my shoulder. Love could do extraordinary things that go unnoticed or unacknowledged, I realized.
I followed Edward outside of the house quietly, as to not make any possible noise for a sleeping Renesmee.
Chills run down my spine
as our fingers entwine
and your sighs harmonize with mine
Edward then did something I did not expect: he pulled me into a slow dance. His fingers on his left hand curled with mine on my right hand. His right arm wrapped around my waist once more. I let my left hand rest on his shoulder and let my head rest on his chest. We started to sway along with the sounds of nature. Our breathing was synchronized. Our movements were slow. I was happy to realize that my feet were following his as he led the dance.
Unmistakably, I can still feel your heart
beat fast when you dance with me
For a split second, I was glad I didn't have my all-too-human heart anymore. It would have been pounding against my ribs and ruining the moment.
Edward started to hum my lullaby. I started to hum along, as I have gotten accustomed to listening to it everyday.
We got older and I should have known
(Do you feel alive?)
That I'd feel colder when I walk alone
(Oh but you'll survive)
So I may as well ditch my dismay
Bombs away
Bombs away
Even after Edward finished my lullaby, we continued to dance. He eventually ended up resting his head onto mine. After what only seemed like minutes, Edward started to hum again. This tune was not one of his compositions or his favourite type of music that I have gotten used to listening to though. It was familiar, like I heard it somewhere on the radio or probably in the Cullen house around the computers and stereos. It was familiar enough for me to recognize that Edward started at the song's chorus, not the beginning.
Circle me and the needle moves gracefully
Back and forth
If my heart was a compass, you'd be North
Risk it all cause I'll catch you if you fall
Wherever you go
If my heart was a house, you'd be home
We continued to dance as I pondered what in the world he was humming. It was strange to forget something with the memory I now have, but I really couldn't put my finger on what song this was. As I continued to wonder, I also thought about how nice it was to just to dance with him. Our movements were sinuous, graceful even. (I smiled internally as I realized I was applying the word "graceful" towards myself.) After that thought, I thought about how nice it was just to be with him in general and how perfect the night was for this. He was my everything and this dance with just him on this perfect night proved to me how true this was.
Finally my curiosity got the best of me.
I looked up with questions in my eyes to silently ask what he was humming. He shifted accordingly to meet my gaze with his. He began to smile brightly when our gazes did meet. I stifled a gasp when I saw how beautiful this smile made him.
It makes me smile because you said it best
I would clearly feel blessed
if the sun rose up from the west
"It makes me smile because you said it best…" he began to quietly sing.
Oh, no wonder I heard this before. It was an Owl City song that was playing in the Cullen house (as I suspected).
"Why are you singing Owl City's songs Edward? I thought you liked older songs from the 50s better," I teased.
He laughed. "I just appreciate the lyrics of this particular one, love," he explained, "They remind me of you." I smiled.
I thought about the lyrics to this song for a moment. They were sweet, adorable, passionate and it was all about one's love towards another. It even covered the topic of cold, dark loneliness when a loved one separated from you.
Amazing. This is how Edward feels about me? It seems like quite the opposite in my opinion.
Edward continued humming and I, once again, hummed along with him.
Flower bomb perfume
All my clothes smell like you
'cause your favourite shade is navy blue
For a moment, I closed my eyes and pressed my face deeper into his chest. He smells wonderful, I thought. The smell of the cotton, navy blue button-down shirt he was wearing was only a little distracting compared to his scent. His scent was very sweet, floral and, above all others, natural. I was already intoxicated by his smell.
"You smell wonderful," I automatically said.
He chuckled, "Thank you." He then pushed his nose into my hair and sniffed it, "You always smell good to me, Bella." I chuckled with him.
We danced some more in silence. Hours passed us by but we did not notice. We both abruptly stopped when we heard someone moving inside the house. My little Nessie was up.
I unwillingly broke away from Edward and gave him a passionate kiss.
When I finished I murmured, "That was nice."
He nodded. "I agree," he said then pulled me into a long, sweet kiss.
I walk slowly when I'm on my own
(Do you feel alive?)
Yeah, but frankly I still feel alone
(Oh, but you'll survive)
So I may as well ditch my dismay
Bombs away
Bombs away
We walked to the house slowly.
"Renesmee?" I called out quietly once we were inside.
I heard her footsteps coming towards me. Once she reached me, I bent down to her height and hugged her gently as she rubbed her eyes.
"You okay, baby?" I asked.
She yawned, "I'm okay, Momma. Where's Daddy?"
Edward automatically picked her up and cradled her. "What's up, Ness?" he asked soothingly.
"Nothing," she replied sleepily, "I just wondered where you and Momma were. I couldn't hear you guys in the house…"
I suppose that was all she had to say for she fell back to sleep in Edward's arms as soon as she finished her sentence. Edward and I chuckled quietly to ourselves as soon as Nessie was knocked out once again. We placed her back into her bed.
Afterwards, I wrapped my waist around Edward's and tipped on my toes to kiss him passionately once more.
Circle me and the needle moves gracefully
Back and forth
If my heart was a compass, you'd be North
Risk it all cause I'll catch you if you fall
Wherever you go
If my heart was a house, you'd be home
"I love you," I whispered.
He smiled and said, "As I love you."
If my heart was a house, you'd be home
( Chapter 3)