Snippet for you're consideration

[renegade_artist]

This here is a little snippet that I've been chewing on, at the moment it's stuck between my teeth and I'm hoping a little input from outside sources will unstick it. So be free to tear it apart and give me your trains of thoughts lol.

Comments

[lilian413]

Wow, I really liked this little piece. You write senses extremely well-- the smell of juniper, the beat of the drums, Neph's hands, Mako's fear... it really, really works!!

Are you going to expand on this? It works fine as a snippet, but it would be interesting to see where else you can take this.

[silkaura]

This is very beautiful. You work well with scent and touch. I also like that the moment is sensuous and intimate without being smut.

It reads very much like poetry, and in fact could stand off as its own prose poem if you decide to keep it here.

I am interested to see where you take this, though. You seem to have some sort of idea of plot that you are not communicating with your audience. If you mean to create this sense, then well done. It leaves us wanting more. If you are nervous about sharing, go for it. We are already eager to hear.