Memories of Yuu
Title: Memories of Yuu
Author: a1y-puff
Fandom: The Musical Prince of Tennis
Pairing: Shirota x Aiba
Genre: angst… maybe…
Rating: PG?
Disclaimer: I don’t own these boys, really… They belong to themselves and have their own lives. Everything written on this fic has nothing to do with their real lives, and it’s all only a product of MY imagination ^^;
Note: Aiba POV
Inspired by a song titled “Memories of You”, OST Shin Megami Tensei: Persona 3.
Please forgive me for any grammatical errors or any other mistake I may make in this fic >.<
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Voices of the wind and beads of light I let flow to you
I won't forget your gentle smile sadness hidden in your eyes
Even if wishing is painful, you gave me courage to stand up
So I'll go, we'll meet again when you awake in your dream
I hold faraway memories to my heart and sing
***
Here I was. In a whitish room with almost no sound aside of the sound of my breath and the sound came from a life-monitoring machine or whatever you call that thing. Yeah, I was in a hospital; in a VIP patient room, to be precise.
I looked at the face of the person laid on the bed. The half-Spanish feature on his face looked so beautiful and angelic. He looked as if he was sleeping. Well, he IS sleeping, for a whole month already. I really wished that he would wake up soon, so that I could make up everything to him. His injuries were almost all healed up, but his eyes just won’t open.
Yes, he was coma. And it was my fault.
He asked me if I love him, but I couldn’t answer. I just couldn’t let the word ‘love’ out of my damn mouth. Was it because of pride? I didn’t know. All I knew was I loved him. I really did. But I couldn’t answer such a simple question. He looked at me, hoped for my answer, but when I just kept silent, he said that it was okay, and I didn’t have to answer. And so he smiled sadly, then he just left.
Who would’ve thought that that would be my last time seeing his waking face?
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You protected this empty, wavering world with your own hands
So now just fold your wings and sleep peacefully
Enveloped in eternal tranquility, love through all eternity
Sleep within these hands, gently watching over you
I remember you, laughing, crying, getting angry
I'll never forget, ever, until my life is exhausted
***
A month ago, for the first time, he was questioning about our relationship. He asked me, what he was to me, and whether I loved him or not. He was insecure. That time I didn’t see any reason he should feel that way. It’s true I never told him I love him or anything, but I thought he should know how I feel. If I didn’t love him, why would I stay with him?
But I was wrong. I love him but I never showed it to him other than agreed to live together with him. I would kick him in bed when he tried to seduce me but I don’t feel like making love with him. Or I would rather answer my cellphone even when I knew that he wanted me. I became so spoiled and had him doing everything I told him. But never once he did really complain.
I became big-headed. I thought he needed me the most and he would never leave me. I forgot that ‘love’ wasn’t something trivial. Love needed two persons, two ways communication. And a relationship formed based on love should be supported by the two. But all these time, I let him be the only one who supported our relationship. I should’ve known that it was too much for him, not to mention how I’ve acted all these time.
If only I could show him how I loved him. If I knew that by kept silent he would leave my side like this, I would’ve said it out loud. I would’ve told him I love him as much. There are things that needed to be said so that it would reach him, like my love to him. But it was too late to realize that now.
I looked at the peaceful face of him. I reach my hand out and grabbed his hand. It was as warm as always. I smiled a bit. I knew he was sometimes careless and clumsy, but not as much as to let himself got hit by a car. They said that he was lucky that the car wasn’t at high speed, so his injuries weren’t fatal. But it seemed like he hit his head pretty hard.
Was it due to my silence? If I had said I love him, he wouldn’t have to get the accident. I felt a tear streamed down on my cheek. I stood up and gave a light kiss on his forehead.
“I’m sorry, Yuu… For now, please just sleep peacefully.”
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From the intersection I heard a voice like yours
I turned and looked towards the sky, holding back my tears
Tomorrow, some day
I believe I'll see you again, and wander alone
On rainy nights, I keep waiting for a sunny morning
I won't forget the nights we ran through
***
“Aibacchi?” A familiar voice pulled me out of my daydreaming. I turned to the left and there was a boy with his half-European feature on his face. Irei Kanata. “Are you listening to me?” he asked.
“Huh? Sorry, I was thinking about something,” I smirked a little. “What is it?”
“Never mind…” Irei scratched his head. “By the way, you were visiting Shirota-san yesterday, right? How is he?”
I put a slight smile before answered him, “Still the same. His injuries are almost healed, but there’s still no sign of him waking up anytime soon.”
Irei put on a worried face and looked into my eyes. “Are you okay?” he asked. I looked back at him, trying to say that I was okay, but I couldn’t. So I tore my eyes away from him and looked at my shoelace instead.
“Yeah, I’m okay…”
“You lied,” he replied almost immediately. I didn’t reply any more, since I didn’t know what to say. He sighed deep, and then gave a slap on my head. “Don’t worry about it. He’ll wake up somehow. He can’t leave you for too long, right, that worrywart…”
I rubbed my head. Irei might mean it as a light slap but it’s hurt a bit. A tried to put on a smile and then I looked at him. “Yeah,” I said as I stood up and lifted my backpack over my shoulder.
“Are you going to visit him today too?” he asked. I nodded to him. “Well, give him my regard. I’d like to come but I can’t today. Maybe this weekend I’ll go with the others,” Irei added.
“Okay, I’ll give him your regard, but I’m not sure if he will hear me,” I smiled sadly.
“He will. I heard it somewhere before, that a coma person can be stimulated by external factors, like sounds or touches. And if he could respond like hold your hand back or maybe just move a finger, that will be a good sign,” Irei explained, then he added, “So that’s why I’ll go this weekend. You’ll be there, right? Who knows if I keep clinging on you, he’ll wake up and smack me out of jealousy” he said jokingly.
“Yeah, right,” I laughed a bit. “Well then, I’ll be going now,” I said to him and then waved my hand and walked out of the building.
The hospital he was in wasn’t very far from here, so I decided to just walk. It’s a bit late at night, not many people passing by. Well I liked it this way. I could walk while daydreaming without bumping into people. As I walked, I thought about many things. Well, this past month I’ve been introspecting myself. I’ve resolved myself to make up to everything once he woke up. I’ve learned how to cook so I could surprise him, although my cooking wasn’t as good as his. And I would express my feeling more to him. And I would always there when he wanted me to…
‘Hiro…’
I stopped and turned my head as soon as I heard a familiar fading voice. But I saw nothing. ‘I must be hearing things’, I told myself as I continued to walk on.
‘That voice… was Yuu’s…’ I told myself inwardly.
See? I missed him so much that I started to hearing things…
I looked to the sky. It was a starry sky. Usually, at a starry night like this, he would take me to the rooftop. He would bring a big-ass blanket, and we would share it while chatting on the rooftop, sometimes until we fell asleep. And I usually woke up and found myself in his arms, while we were covered by the blanket. That’s why I felt so warm.
Yeah, he had always been protecting me like that, and what did I do in return?
Nothing… I couldn’t even say I love him…
I tried my best to hold my tears back as I looked to the starry sky. Those memories were supposed to be sweet, but remembering them now would only make me sad.
‘Yuu, please wake up soon…’
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In dazzling, shining moments we were all together
I spent them without realizing how precious they were
Now, to remember them fondly I will embrace the feeling
You were right there with me
Always, always, always, you were smiling there beside me
Even if I lose you I'll get you back I will never leave you
***
“It’s starry out there, Yuu,” I told him as I held his hand. “Do you remember, that night we were asleep on the rooftop? And we were awoken by the rain. You were covering me with the blanket as we ran to the door, and the next day you caught a cold,” I continued as I looked to his peaceful sleeping face.
There was still no reaction. I tightened my grip on his hand. His hand was as warm as before, but it felt different without the warm look he used to give me.
“Hey, when will you wake up? You know, that plain hospital cloth doesn’t suit you. It looks weird when I’m used to see you wearing something more like a carpet or maybe your rainbow-color combination,” I said softly as I rested my head on his chest.
I could hear his heartbeat, rhymed in a rather slow rhythm. I started to wonder, when was the last time I put my head on his chest like this? We were both so busy lately, so that we didn’t really have much time to spend together. Now that I tried to remember, Yuu was always trying his best to make events that would allow us together.
Yeah, it was always Yuu who tried to keep everything okay. How could I not realize all these time? Was it because he was always there, smiling at me? That I didn’t realize his effort to keep our relationship just fine…
‘I’m a stupid bastard…’
“Yuu, please wake up… I love you, I really do… so please, wake up…” I whispered as I couldn’t hold my tears any longer.
But still, there was no reaction. I sighed, and wiped my tears.
I looked at my watch. It’s about time for me to go.
I was about to let go of Yuu’s hand when I suddenly felt something in my hand. I turned my head and what I saw was Yuu was holding my hand back! I tore my eyes immediately to see his face. He was still unconscious. But he DID hold my hand back, even if it was just a light, weak grip.
I held his hand firmly with both of my hands.
“Yuu, listen to me,” I paused to wiped my tears. “I love you. I was wrong to let you feel insecure. I was wrong to be so full of myself and didn’t care about your feeling. I should’ve told you that I love you. And I promise… I’ll re-tell all these when you wake up. So please, open your eyes soon, okay? I miss you…”
There was still no other reaction aside of his holding my hand back. But that’s enough for me. Just a bit more… I just had to wait for a little bit more, until I can once again see his gentle eyes as he look into mine.
And when that happened, I would tell Yuu how much I love him…
-END-
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It feels… weird… I’m not good at writing angst >.<
Kill me… *runs*
Anyway, the song just hit me that I had to put every paragraph in here, so... there you go ^^;;
Thanks for reading and please leave your comments ^^