Not only is Snakes/Plane the holy OTP forever and ever, but Badger so CLEARLY belongs with Mushroom! Mushroom's been silently in love with Badger since day one and deserves him so much more, and look at the evidence! It's "Badger Badger Badger Badger Badger Badger Badger Badger MUSHROOM MUSHROOM" not "Badger Badger SNAKE"! Also they're the same
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And the only reason Mushroom does drugs is cause he's sad that Badger is a butthole and won't notice him! He'll drop 'em and sober right up once Badger stops panting over Snake and goes to him! And besides, Badger totally OWES Mushroom for the one time he saved his life!
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...FUCK YOU BITCH MUSHROOM AND BADGER ARE TOTALLY MEANT TO BE I EVEN READ AN INTERVIEW WITH THE CREATORS WHO SAID SNAKE/BADGER WAS DARK AND INTRIGUING BUT THAT'S SUBLIMINAL FOR THEY TOTALLY LOVE IT AND IT'S HOT, AND THEY SAID MUSHROOM IS SO CANONICALLY IN LOVE WITH BADGER SO BADGER HAS TO GIVE UP SNAKE AND GO TO HIM OTHERWISE MUSHROOM;'S GONNA BE ALL TRAGIC AND THAT'S BAD!!!!
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