One Path Chapter 60--A New Hope
Title: A New Hope
Author: Lionchilde
Summary: "It seemed fitting..."
Rating: PG
Length: Around 3500 words
Category: Angst
Pairings/Characters: Obidala
A/N: One Path Chapter 60. Set during an alternate RotS.
This chapter is unbeta'd for the night, because I love you guys even if you despise me right now. :P Please enjoy. I'm going to sleep.
A New Hope
"Leia can stay here with us," Bail offered.
Ani's eyes shot up from their study of the conference table in time to see Breha Organa nod agreement. "Since we lost our baby, we've been talking of adopting a girl. No one would have to know who she is. No one would know she isn't ours. She'd be safe."
He stared in disbelief, then gave his head a quick negative shake and turned to look at his father. Obi Wan seemed on the verge of nodding agreement. "You can't…" he said, then bit his lip and lapsed back into apologetic silence.
"She'll be loved with us," promised Bail.
"With me to Dagobah, young Anakin may come," said Yoda. "His training I will continue there."
Ani held back a sigh. Dream images flashed through his mind again--images of a red lightsaber and a man he now knew as Darth Vader. He didn't close his eyes or resist them, even when the shouting began. This was the last nightmare--the nightmare that he had sworn to his mother that he would protect them from.
I'm not leaving you!
He was a Jedi. It didn't matter that he was five years old, or that he hoped never to have to set foot in the temple on Coruscant again. He was a Jedi as his father was, as his brother and sister would be, and a Jedi served the will of the Force.
Run, Luke!
He didn't allow himself to think about what would happen if he wasn't there. Qui-Gon had already told him many times that his focus should be on the present. The future was still only a place of possibility. He would have to trust the Force to protect his father, to get him there in time. To do anything else would bring him dangerously close to the path of the Dark Side, and that was a place he could not go.
Obi Wan scrubbed his face with his hands. "I suppose…I could take Luke with me, then. But I cannot make these decisions without Padme."
The rest of the group nodded agreement, and Obi Wan closed his eyes. "She's awake, I think. There really is no sense in waiting."
"Await your return here, we will," murmured Yoda.
Obi Wan bowed respectfully, giving no hint of the anguish he felt, but Ani knew. He slid to his feet and hurried out of the conference room. Outside, he found his father leaning against the whitewashed wall of the medcenter, furtively wiping his eyes on his sleeve.
"Dad?" he swallowed hard.
Obi Wan held out his hand, and Ani took it, then impulsively wrapped his arms around his father's waist and buried his face in the Jedi's robe. Obi Wan held him, stroking his hair, and then slid solemnly down on one knee. "I don't want to do this, Ani, and I know you don't want to go with Master Yoda," he began.
"But you're going to make me?" Ani asked.
Obi Wan smiled sadly. "I can't make you. I can only ask."
"Why can't we all stay together?" he asked.
"Because. It's safer this way. If Vader or the Emperor finds some of us, they won't have found all of us. There will still be a chance, a way to stop the Emperor if we're all patient and careful," explained his father.
"But I promised Mom I'd take care of you," he protested.
Obi Wan's smile only grew sadder. "Sometimes we can best serve those we love by letting them go. The Force will take of me, and you will make me proud. You always have."
"Yes, sir," he sighed.
Obi Wan kissed his forehead, then looked deeply into his eyes. "The Force will be with you, son. Always."
***
Obi Wan and Ani slipped quietly into the room and Padme looked up from the infant Leia with a joyous smile--the first one she'd felt since before the twins were born. That smile crumbled at her husband's expression, at the growing sadness she could feel in her son.
"How are you feeling?" Obi Wan asked as he crossed the room.
"I'm fine," she replied. He brushed her cheek with the backs of his fingers, and she turned into the touch, letting her eyes slide closed.
Ani walked over to Luke, who was asleep beside bed, and peered down at him with a mix of solemn dignity and puzzled curiosity. "Hey, Luke…Luke!"
"Ani, don't wake your brother," Obi Wan said automatically.
It was already too late. Luke gave a soft gurgle in response, but Ani bit his lip. Lowering his voice to a whisper, he said, "Sorry. Hey, Luke…go back to sleep now, okay?"
Obi Wan sighed and bent to kiss Leia, then lifted her from her mother's arms. He looked down at her with such profound weariness and grief that any trace of amusement Padme might have felt at their oldest child's antics melted away.
"What is it?" she asked.
"We've…been discussing what's going to happen now," he said slowly.
"And…?" she frowned. She knew that he and Yoda felt it would be best if they parted ways, so that if one of them were discovered, the other might not be. She was also aware that Yoda had expressed interest in taking Ani into hiding with him, but she and Obi Wan had both agreed that such a decision could be his alone, and Ani had already made his feelings clear.
"We…think it would be best if the children were separated," he said.
"What????" Padme whispered fiercely, staring at her husband in disbelief.
"Darling, it's for their own protection. Yoda still wants to take Ani with him. Bail and Breha have offered to let Leia stay here--raise her as their own. She would become the next Queen of Alderaan after Breha--"
"I don't care!" Padme cut him off, barely managing to keep her voice down. Both of the twins whimpered anyway, and tears stung her eyes. "She is my daughter."
"I think you should stay here with her. Alderaan is safe, you could nurse her. Later be her governess, or--"
"And what about Luke?" she demanded.
"He'd come with me," Obi Wan said quietly. "It's the best way to be sure they survive."
"No, it's the best way to be sure the Jedi Order survives," she narrowed her eyes at him.
He closed his eyes. "The Jedi Order is gone. The last of us are already being hunted. If the children are discovered, they'll be killed--or worse. Apart there's a chance at least one of them can be kept hidden."
"No," she shook her head tearfully. "No, Obi Wan. We're a family. We belong together. You promised me that. You said that when the war was over, we would all be together."
"Padme, things are different," he said bleakly.
"I can see that," her voice broke and she lowered her gaze as tears began to trickle down her cheeks. She couldn't look at him, only watch as the tiny droplets fell on the stark white of the sheet on her bed.
"This is the last thing I want," he whispered.
"I don't believe what you're asking me," she shook her head, still not looking up as the tiny dark spot on the sheet widened. She watched it, focusing her attention on the way it changed and spread as each new tear soaked into it. "To send Ani away, to let you take Luke and hide away where I'll never see you, never know my own son--to stay here and watch Leia call another woman mother?"
"It's the safest way," entreated Obi Wan. Now the twins were crying in earnest, despite his and Ani's attempts to comfort them.
Padme grasped the hand rail on the side of her bed and pulled herself up, then leaned over to take the baby, rocking him against her breast. Once he was quiet, she looked sharply up at his father. "But it's not the right way. Stop thinking like a Jedi for a minute…"
"I am a Jedi," he reminded her miserably.
"You're also the man I love," she said. "Where is he? Where is my husband? Where is my friend?"
"I'm right here. I'm the same man I've always been!" he insisted.
"No you're not. My husband--my Obi Wan would not abandon his wife and children," she declared.
"I'm not abandoning you, Padme," he shook his head, still keeping his voice a rough whisper as he rocked and shushed Leia. "I love you. Everything I've done has been to protect you."
"That's exactly what Anakin said," she told him quietly.
He jerked his head up from their daughter, eyes widening with shock. "What?"
"You told me once never to let fear rule my actions, that fear was a path to the Dark Side. What are you doing now, Obi Wan? If we let Palpatine destroy this family because we're afraid of what might happen, then he's already won," she said.
He shook his head. "Nothing can destroy this family, darling. We are together, no matter where we are."
"And that's it?" she asked.
He sighed heavily and slid down on the bed beside her, making a silent beckoning motion with his head for Ani to join them. The boy slid onto his knee, and Obi Wan looked down at him for a minute, then let his gaze linger on Leia, pass up to Luke, and finally settle on Padme's face.
"Padme, you and the children mean everything to me. I never thought I could say that, never thought that there could be anything or anyone so important to me. You're important enough to me that I can leave you, because I know that only by leaving you can I be in a position to someday help end Palpatine's tyranny. Wasn't it the same thing when you told Bail to vote for the Empire? When you were willing to risk being arrested on Coruscant to keep Ani safe?"
"What happened to needing me?" she wept.
"I need you safe," he said gently.
"Where--where are you going to take him?" she asked through her tears.
"I thought…Tatooine? It's…it's far enough on the Outer Rim to be safe, and we can easily stay hidden," he smiled faintly. "And it seemed fitting somehow--bringing our son there."
Padme closed her eyes, wet her lips with the tip of her tongue, and drew in a shaky breath. Then she swallowed and looked at him again with a tremulous smile. "Beru and Owen. They'll help you, I know they will."
***
"You may hear... disturbing things... about what I do in the Senate," Bail said as the speeder approached the landing platform where the Tantive IV waited to take the last of the Jedi into exile. "I must appear to support the Empire, and my comrades with me. It was Padme's idea, actually, and she is a shrewder political mind than I'll ever be."
In the back seat with her husband, Padme allowed a faint smile, then stared down at her infant son through a sheen of tears. Obi Wan leaned toward her, pressing his lips to her neck. He let his mouth slide upward, over her cheek, and then rested against her ear for a moment before whispering, "I'll talk to you later, your highness."
She let out an involuntary laugh, and the sound became a sob. Leaning her head against his, she struggled to maintain some semblance of control. She reminded herself for what had to be the millionth time in the last three days that it wasn't just a silly joke anymore. They had arranged an annual rendezvous at Mos Eisley between Obi Wan and Captain Antilles, a small concession to a mother's empty arms, a wife's longing. She would see her son grow up, even if only in tiny holodisk snippets. She would hear her husband's voice again. With a deep breath, she forced her attention back onto to Bail's voice and felt the tears fade, felt the heartache and loss recede again.
"Please trust that what we do is only a cover for our true task. We will never betray the legacy of the Jedi. I will never surrender the Republic to the Sith," he finished as the speeder came to a halt.
"Trust in this, we always will," said Yoda gravely. "Now disappear, we all must, until the time is right."
The small group piled out of the speeder, Yoda and the Organas moving off toward the Tantive's lowered ramp to allow the Kenobis a last moment together. Fighting his own tears, Obi Wan knelt beside little Ani, cradling his infant daughter in his arms.
"Say goodbye to Leia, Anakin," he said solemnly.
Ani sniffled and bent to kiss the baby, then paused and lifted something from around his neck--something Obi Wan recognized even in the shadows around them as Padme's japor necklace. "This is yours now, Leia. It will bring you good fortune."
"Do you want to hold her for a moment?" he smiled.
Ani nodded, and he carefully laid the baby in her brother's arms, studying her, drawing the image into his mind and letting it imprint itself upon his memories. After a long moment, he bent to brush his lips against her forehead, allowing a wordless cascade of his hopes and devotion to wash over her. Always remember, I love you, he said silently, and though she wouldn't remember the words, he hoped that some part of her would retain an echo of the feeling they were meant to impart.
Then he pushed himself to his feet and stepped over to Padme, resting his forehead against hers. He would never know afterward how long they stood that way, unmoving, simply breathing each other, as Luke lay in his mother's arms between them. It seemed endless, eternal--and it was over before a single breath had passed his lips. His chest ached heavily, as if something had physically reached inside it raked his heart to shreds, leaving behind a cavernous hole at the bottom of which lay a raw, throbbing mass of flesh which weighed at least five times what it should.
As he kissed her, he wished that he could swear it wouldn't be the last time--that somehow, before all of this was over, they would see one another again, hold one another again, but he knew that he could make no promises. So, as the kiss ended, he cupped her face in his hands and said the only thing he could, the only thing that mattered.
"I love you. Always have."
"Since Tatooine," she whispered, managing a faint but genuine smile.
He forced an answering one to his own lips, then lifted Luke into his arms and took a step back. Padme hurried over to Ani, falling to her own knees to embrace him. Watching, Obi Wan was struck with the incongruous thought that it should be raining.
Pouring, he corrected himself. It should be pouring.
This is a mistake, my young apprentice, and you very well know it, spoke a familiar voice behind his left shoulder.
He closed his eyes, somehow not at all surprised that this would be the moment when Qui-Gon finally chose to speak with him. What else am I to do? he asked.
What does your heart tell you? his Master responded.
I don't have a heart left, he sighed.
Yes, you do, Obi Wan, but you're afraid to use it, Qui-Gon replied.
Obi Wan bowed his head. There was no reply he could give that wouldn't shatter the tenuous control he was maintaining on his own emotions. Ever since he'd returned to Coruscant and learned that Qui-Gon had been watching over his son, he had longed to speak with his friend and former teacher. There were countless things he wanted to say, questions he wanted to ask, but he had put these things from his mind as was required of a Jedi and became content to wait until Qui-Gon felt the time was right. Now that the time had come, it seemed that his Master wanted to pick up an old debate. He wasn't sure whether to be irritated or amused.
In the end, he chose to be neither. He waited until Padme had gotten to her feet again, and watched her cradle Leia against her breast. Inhaling deeply, he crossed the few feet between them and kissed both wife and daughter again. Then he led Ani to the ship and followed Yoda up the ramp without looking back.
Qui-Gon, however, wasn't finished with him. You told her that you were going to find out what it meant to be a Jedi and her husband, but now you're afraid. You think it was your love for her that led you to fail with Anakin.
No, I think it was my attachment to Anakin, he replied as he followed Yoda up the stark white corridor away from the landing ramp. My love for Padme is what taught me that a Jedi can love and yet choose to do his duty. I didn't do my duty with Anakin, I let my caring for him blind me to what he was becoming. I made excuses for both of us. I won't do that again.
So now you'll let your duty blind you to the leading of the Living Force, Qui-Gon said.
What?
This was always the way with you, my Padawan. You are so concerned with matters on a galactic scale, with your duties and obligations, that you neglect the needs of individuals--or of families, Qui-Gon told him.
It is the Jedi Way, Master, Obi Wan reminded him.
The Jedi Way is not the only way, said Qui-Gon.
I don't know any other, replied Obi Wan.
Yes, you do. Obi Wan, life is not static. Even the Force ebbs and flows. The Jedi have failed against Darth Sidious because the Jedi have not changed. The Sith have learned to adapt, to change themselves in order to exist in a changing galaxy. And yet for a thousand years, the Jedi Order has remained exactly the same. It has become rigid, and what is rigid can be easily broken. Jedi training is not the only source of self-discipline; Jedi teaching is not the sole source of wisdom or skill in the Force. The Living Force guided you to Padme, gave you sons and a daughter so that you might learn to grow beyond what the Jedi Order could teach you--so that when the time came, they would be prepared to do what you or I could not. You have much to teach them; you have as much to learn from them and from Padme, as she has from you, said Qui-Gon.
"Wait…" Obi Wan said aloud. Ani, Bail, and Yoda turned puzzled expressions on him. He turned to look over his shoulder, where he found Qui-Gon still patiently waiting and watching. Beyond him, the ramp was retracting in preparation for liftoff. "Wait!"
Master, what should I do? he asked.
You have grown so much, Qui-Gon said. Don't throw away all you have learned these last sixteen years. There is a place in the life of one who serves the Force for both love and duty.
He swallowed hard. "I can't. I can't do this, Master Yoda. I'm sorry. It was the will of the Force which brought Padme and I together. I still don't entirely know what that means, but I know that I must trust in the Force to keep our children safe. As long as we are both alive, we belong together."
Yoda studied him quietly for a moment, then surprisingly only nodded. "Teach them well, you can, Obi Wan. Confidence in you, I have always had. When the time is right, perhaps the Living Force will bring young Anakin to me on Dagobah."
Ani's eyes widened. "You mean I don't have to go with you, Master? I mean…"
Yoda regarded him with a merry twinkle in his eye. "No, young one. With your father, you may stay."
"Thank you!" Ani exclaimed, dashing forward impulsively. He slid to his knees, wrapping the ancient Jedi in a tight hug.
Whatever Yoda said in reply was muffled against the boy's chest. Bail and Obi Wan struggled valiantly not to laugh, and the senator turned to the Jedi with a grin. "Perhaps I could hold Luke for you."
"Yes--thank you," Obi Wan nodded, quickly shifting his son into his friend's waiting arms.
Then he spun and dashed back down the ramp, his boots clanging loudly against the metal as he rushed onto the landing platform. Padme and Breha were already climbing back into the speeder, but she suddenly stopped, spinning around even before he called her name.
"Obi Wan???"
"Padme!" he raced up to her, gripping her urgently by the shoulders. "Padme, come with me!"
"But what about--"
"I was wrong," he shook his head. "It was a mistake, I'm sorry. Please, come with me to Tatooine--you, me, and the children, together."
She was already nodding. When he kissed her this time, her face was still wet with tears, but they were tears of joy. The eternity of the moment now held the promise of a lifetime to come, and they stood lost in each other, oblivious to even their daughter between them. The Force itself seemed to resonate with that promise, and the promise became the kiss--as unbreakable and binding as the love which had drawn them together, all those years ago on Tatooine.
On the landing ramp of the Tantive IV, Yoda, Bail Organa, and Anakin Kenobi stood watching. The venerated Jedi leaned on the top of his cane, hands folded over it, with just the hint of a smile on his face. The senator grinned with unabashed pleasure and turned to lay the infant Luke in his brother's arms.
Ani looked from his brother to their parents and back again, a small sigh escaping his lips. "Just wait, kid. This is nothing."
Author: Lionchilde
Summary: "It seemed fitting..."
Rating: PG
Length: Around 3500 words
Category: Angst
Pairings/Characters: Obidala
A/N: One Path Chapter 60. Set during an alternate RotS.
This chapter is unbeta'd for the night, because I love you guys even if you despise me right now. :P Please enjoy. I'm going to sleep.
A New Hope
"Leia can stay here with us," Bail offered.
Ani's eyes shot up from their study of the conference table in time to see Breha Organa nod agreement. "Since we lost our baby, we've been talking of adopting a girl. No one would have to know who she is. No one would know she isn't ours. She'd be safe."
He stared in disbelief, then gave his head a quick negative shake and turned to look at his father. Obi Wan seemed on the verge of nodding agreement. "You can't…" he said, then bit his lip and lapsed back into apologetic silence.
"She'll be loved with us," promised Bail.
"With me to Dagobah, young Anakin may come," said Yoda. "His training I will continue there."
Ani held back a sigh. Dream images flashed through his mind again--images of a red lightsaber and a man he now knew as Darth Vader. He didn't close his eyes or resist them, even when the shouting began. This was the last nightmare--the nightmare that he had sworn to his mother that he would protect them from.
I'm not leaving you!
He was a Jedi. It didn't matter that he was five years old, or that he hoped never to have to set foot in the temple on Coruscant again. He was a Jedi as his father was, as his brother and sister would be, and a Jedi served the will of the Force.
Run, Luke!
He didn't allow himself to think about what would happen if he wasn't there. Qui-Gon had already told him many times that his focus should be on the present. The future was still only a place of possibility. He would have to trust the Force to protect his father, to get him there in time. To do anything else would bring him dangerously close to the path of the Dark Side, and that was a place he could not go.
Obi Wan scrubbed his face with his hands. "I suppose…I could take Luke with me, then. But I cannot make these decisions without Padme."
The rest of the group nodded agreement, and Obi Wan closed his eyes. "She's awake, I think. There really is no sense in waiting."
"Await your return here, we will," murmured Yoda.
Obi Wan bowed respectfully, giving no hint of the anguish he felt, but Ani knew. He slid to his feet and hurried out of the conference room. Outside, he found his father leaning against the whitewashed wall of the medcenter, furtively wiping his eyes on his sleeve.
"Dad?" he swallowed hard.
Obi Wan held out his hand, and Ani took it, then impulsively wrapped his arms around his father's waist and buried his face in the Jedi's robe. Obi Wan held him, stroking his hair, and then slid solemnly down on one knee. "I don't want to do this, Ani, and I know you don't want to go with Master Yoda," he began.
"But you're going to make me?" Ani asked.
Obi Wan smiled sadly. "I can't make you. I can only ask."
"Why can't we all stay together?" he asked.
"Because. It's safer this way. If Vader or the Emperor finds some of us, they won't have found all of us. There will still be a chance, a way to stop the Emperor if we're all patient and careful," explained his father.
"But I promised Mom I'd take care of you," he protested.
Obi Wan's smile only grew sadder. "Sometimes we can best serve those we love by letting them go. The Force will take of me, and you will make me proud. You always have."
"Yes, sir," he sighed.
Obi Wan kissed his forehead, then looked deeply into his eyes. "The Force will be with you, son. Always."
***
Obi Wan and Ani slipped quietly into the room and Padme looked up from the infant Leia with a joyous smile--the first one she'd felt since before the twins were born. That smile crumbled at her husband's expression, at the growing sadness she could feel in her son.
"How are you feeling?" Obi Wan asked as he crossed the room.
"I'm fine," she replied. He brushed her cheek with the backs of his fingers, and she turned into the touch, letting her eyes slide closed.
Ani walked over to Luke, who was asleep beside bed, and peered down at him with a mix of solemn dignity and puzzled curiosity. "Hey, Luke…Luke!"
"Ani, don't wake your brother," Obi Wan said automatically.
It was already too late. Luke gave a soft gurgle in response, but Ani bit his lip. Lowering his voice to a whisper, he said, "Sorry. Hey, Luke…go back to sleep now, okay?"
Obi Wan sighed and bent to kiss Leia, then lifted her from her mother's arms. He looked down at her with such profound weariness and grief that any trace of amusement Padme might have felt at their oldest child's antics melted away.
"What is it?" she asked.
"We've…been discussing what's going to happen now," he said slowly.
"And…?" she frowned. She knew that he and Yoda felt it would be best if they parted ways, so that if one of them were discovered, the other might not be. She was also aware that Yoda had expressed interest in taking Ani into hiding with him, but she and Obi Wan had both agreed that such a decision could be his alone, and Ani had already made his feelings clear.
"We…think it would be best if the children were separated," he said.
"What????" Padme whispered fiercely, staring at her husband in disbelief.
"Darling, it's for their own protection. Yoda still wants to take Ani with him. Bail and Breha have offered to let Leia stay here--raise her as their own. She would become the next Queen of Alderaan after Breha--"
"I don't care!" Padme cut him off, barely managing to keep her voice down. Both of the twins whimpered anyway, and tears stung her eyes. "She is my daughter."
"I think you should stay here with her. Alderaan is safe, you could nurse her. Later be her governess, or--"
"And what about Luke?" she demanded.
"He'd come with me," Obi Wan said quietly. "It's the best way to be sure they survive."
"No, it's the best way to be sure the Jedi Order survives," she narrowed her eyes at him.
He closed his eyes. "The Jedi Order is gone. The last of us are already being hunted. If the children are discovered, they'll be killed--or worse. Apart there's a chance at least one of them can be kept hidden."
"No," she shook her head tearfully. "No, Obi Wan. We're a family. We belong together. You promised me that. You said that when the war was over, we would all be together."
"Padme, things are different," he said bleakly.
"I can see that," her voice broke and she lowered her gaze as tears began to trickle down her cheeks. She couldn't look at him, only watch as the tiny droplets fell on the stark white of the sheet on her bed.
"This is the last thing I want," he whispered.
"I don't believe what you're asking me," she shook her head, still not looking up as the tiny dark spot on the sheet widened. She watched it, focusing her attention on the way it changed and spread as each new tear soaked into it. "To send Ani away, to let you take Luke and hide away where I'll never see you, never know my own son--to stay here and watch Leia call another woman mother?"
"It's the safest way," entreated Obi Wan. Now the twins were crying in earnest, despite his and Ani's attempts to comfort them.
Padme grasped the hand rail on the side of her bed and pulled herself up, then leaned over to take the baby, rocking him against her breast. Once he was quiet, she looked sharply up at his father. "But it's not the right way. Stop thinking like a Jedi for a minute…"
"I am a Jedi," he reminded her miserably.
"You're also the man I love," she said. "Where is he? Where is my husband? Where is my friend?"
"I'm right here. I'm the same man I've always been!" he insisted.
"No you're not. My husband--my Obi Wan would not abandon his wife and children," she declared.
"I'm not abandoning you, Padme," he shook his head, still keeping his voice a rough whisper as he rocked and shushed Leia. "I love you. Everything I've done has been to protect you."
"That's exactly what Anakin said," she told him quietly.
He jerked his head up from their daughter, eyes widening with shock. "What?"
"You told me once never to let fear rule my actions, that fear was a path to the Dark Side. What are you doing now, Obi Wan? If we let Palpatine destroy this family because we're afraid of what might happen, then he's already won," she said.
He shook his head. "Nothing can destroy this family, darling. We are together, no matter where we are."
"And that's it?" she asked.
He sighed heavily and slid down on the bed beside her, making a silent beckoning motion with his head for Ani to join them. The boy slid onto his knee, and Obi Wan looked down at him for a minute, then let his gaze linger on Leia, pass up to Luke, and finally settle on Padme's face.
"Padme, you and the children mean everything to me. I never thought I could say that, never thought that there could be anything or anyone so important to me. You're important enough to me that I can leave you, because I know that only by leaving you can I be in a position to someday help end Palpatine's tyranny. Wasn't it the same thing when you told Bail to vote for the Empire? When you were willing to risk being arrested on Coruscant to keep Ani safe?"
"What happened to needing me?" she wept.
"I need you safe," he said gently.
"Where--where are you going to take him?" she asked through her tears.
"I thought…Tatooine? It's…it's far enough on the Outer Rim to be safe, and we can easily stay hidden," he smiled faintly. "And it seemed fitting somehow--bringing our son there."
Padme closed her eyes, wet her lips with the tip of her tongue, and drew in a shaky breath. Then she swallowed and looked at him again with a tremulous smile. "Beru and Owen. They'll help you, I know they will."
***
"You may hear... disturbing things... about what I do in the Senate," Bail said as the speeder approached the landing platform where the Tantive IV waited to take the last of the Jedi into exile. "I must appear to support the Empire, and my comrades with me. It was Padme's idea, actually, and she is a shrewder political mind than I'll ever be."
In the back seat with her husband, Padme allowed a faint smile, then stared down at her infant son through a sheen of tears. Obi Wan leaned toward her, pressing his lips to her neck. He let his mouth slide upward, over her cheek, and then rested against her ear for a moment before whispering, "I'll talk to you later, your highness."
She let out an involuntary laugh, and the sound became a sob. Leaning her head against his, she struggled to maintain some semblance of control. She reminded herself for what had to be the millionth time in the last three days that it wasn't just a silly joke anymore. They had arranged an annual rendezvous at Mos Eisley between Obi Wan and Captain Antilles, a small concession to a mother's empty arms, a wife's longing. She would see her son grow up, even if only in tiny holodisk snippets. She would hear her husband's voice again. With a deep breath, she forced her attention back onto to Bail's voice and felt the tears fade, felt the heartache and loss recede again.
"Please trust that what we do is only a cover for our true task. We will never betray the legacy of the Jedi. I will never surrender the Republic to the Sith," he finished as the speeder came to a halt.
"Trust in this, we always will," said Yoda gravely. "Now disappear, we all must, until the time is right."
The small group piled out of the speeder, Yoda and the Organas moving off toward the Tantive's lowered ramp to allow the Kenobis a last moment together. Fighting his own tears, Obi Wan knelt beside little Ani, cradling his infant daughter in his arms.
"Say goodbye to Leia, Anakin," he said solemnly.
Ani sniffled and bent to kiss the baby, then paused and lifted something from around his neck--something Obi Wan recognized even in the shadows around them as Padme's japor necklace. "This is yours now, Leia. It will bring you good fortune."
"Do you want to hold her for a moment?" he smiled.
Ani nodded, and he carefully laid the baby in her brother's arms, studying her, drawing the image into his mind and letting it imprint itself upon his memories. After a long moment, he bent to brush his lips against her forehead, allowing a wordless cascade of his hopes and devotion to wash over her. Always remember, I love you, he said silently, and though she wouldn't remember the words, he hoped that some part of her would retain an echo of the feeling they were meant to impart.
Then he pushed himself to his feet and stepped over to Padme, resting his forehead against hers. He would never know afterward how long they stood that way, unmoving, simply breathing each other, as Luke lay in his mother's arms between them. It seemed endless, eternal--and it was over before a single breath had passed his lips. His chest ached heavily, as if something had physically reached inside it raked his heart to shreds, leaving behind a cavernous hole at the bottom of which lay a raw, throbbing mass of flesh which weighed at least five times what it should.
As he kissed her, he wished that he could swear it wouldn't be the last time--that somehow, before all of this was over, they would see one another again, hold one another again, but he knew that he could make no promises. So, as the kiss ended, he cupped her face in his hands and said the only thing he could, the only thing that mattered.
"I love you. Always have."
"Since Tatooine," she whispered, managing a faint but genuine smile.
He forced an answering one to his own lips, then lifted Luke into his arms and took a step back. Padme hurried over to Ani, falling to her own knees to embrace him. Watching, Obi Wan was struck with the incongruous thought that it should be raining.
Pouring, he corrected himself. It should be pouring.
This is a mistake, my young apprentice, and you very well know it, spoke a familiar voice behind his left shoulder.
He closed his eyes, somehow not at all surprised that this would be the moment when Qui-Gon finally chose to speak with him. What else am I to do? he asked.
What does your heart tell you? his Master responded.
I don't have a heart left, he sighed.
Yes, you do, Obi Wan, but you're afraid to use it, Qui-Gon replied.
Obi Wan bowed his head. There was no reply he could give that wouldn't shatter the tenuous control he was maintaining on his own emotions. Ever since he'd returned to Coruscant and learned that Qui-Gon had been watching over his son, he had longed to speak with his friend and former teacher. There were countless things he wanted to say, questions he wanted to ask, but he had put these things from his mind as was required of a Jedi and became content to wait until Qui-Gon felt the time was right. Now that the time had come, it seemed that his Master wanted to pick up an old debate. He wasn't sure whether to be irritated or amused.
In the end, he chose to be neither. He waited until Padme had gotten to her feet again, and watched her cradle Leia against her breast. Inhaling deeply, he crossed the few feet between them and kissed both wife and daughter again. Then he led Ani to the ship and followed Yoda up the ramp without looking back.
Qui-Gon, however, wasn't finished with him. You told her that you were going to find out what it meant to be a Jedi and her husband, but now you're afraid. You think it was your love for her that led you to fail with Anakin.
No, I think it was my attachment to Anakin, he replied as he followed Yoda up the stark white corridor away from the landing ramp. My love for Padme is what taught me that a Jedi can love and yet choose to do his duty. I didn't do my duty with Anakin, I let my caring for him blind me to what he was becoming. I made excuses for both of us. I won't do that again.
So now you'll let your duty blind you to the leading of the Living Force, Qui-Gon said.
What?
This was always the way with you, my Padawan. You are so concerned with matters on a galactic scale, with your duties and obligations, that you neglect the needs of individuals--or of families, Qui-Gon told him.
It is the Jedi Way, Master, Obi Wan reminded him.
The Jedi Way is not the only way, said Qui-Gon.
I don't know any other, replied Obi Wan.
Yes, you do. Obi Wan, life is not static. Even the Force ebbs and flows. The Jedi have failed against Darth Sidious because the Jedi have not changed. The Sith have learned to adapt, to change themselves in order to exist in a changing galaxy. And yet for a thousand years, the Jedi Order has remained exactly the same. It has become rigid, and what is rigid can be easily broken. Jedi training is not the only source of self-discipline; Jedi teaching is not the sole source of wisdom or skill in the Force. The Living Force guided you to Padme, gave you sons and a daughter so that you might learn to grow beyond what the Jedi Order could teach you--so that when the time came, they would be prepared to do what you or I could not. You have much to teach them; you have as much to learn from them and from Padme, as she has from you, said Qui-Gon.
"Wait…" Obi Wan said aloud. Ani, Bail, and Yoda turned puzzled expressions on him. He turned to look over his shoulder, where he found Qui-Gon still patiently waiting and watching. Beyond him, the ramp was retracting in preparation for liftoff. "Wait!"
Master, what should I do? he asked.
You have grown so much, Qui-Gon said. Don't throw away all you have learned these last sixteen years. There is a place in the life of one who serves the Force for both love and duty.
He swallowed hard. "I can't. I can't do this, Master Yoda. I'm sorry. It was the will of the Force which brought Padme and I together. I still don't entirely know what that means, but I know that I must trust in the Force to keep our children safe. As long as we are both alive, we belong together."
Yoda studied him quietly for a moment, then surprisingly only nodded. "Teach them well, you can, Obi Wan. Confidence in you, I have always had. When the time is right, perhaps the Living Force will bring young Anakin to me on Dagobah."
Ani's eyes widened. "You mean I don't have to go with you, Master? I mean…"
Yoda regarded him with a merry twinkle in his eye. "No, young one. With your father, you may stay."
"Thank you!" Ani exclaimed, dashing forward impulsively. He slid to his knees, wrapping the ancient Jedi in a tight hug.
Whatever Yoda said in reply was muffled against the boy's chest. Bail and Obi Wan struggled valiantly not to laugh, and the senator turned to the Jedi with a grin. "Perhaps I could hold Luke for you."
"Yes--thank you," Obi Wan nodded, quickly shifting his son into his friend's waiting arms.
Then he spun and dashed back down the ramp, his boots clanging loudly against the metal as he rushed onto the landing platform. Padme and Breha were already climbing back into the speeder, but she suddenly stopped, spinning around even before he called her name.
"Obi Wan???"
"Padme!" he raced up to her, gripping her urgently by the shoulders. "Padme, come with me!"
"But what about--"
"I was wrong," he shook his head. "It was a mistake, I'm sorry. Please, come with me to Tatooine--you, me, and the children, together."
She was already nodding. When he kissed her this time, her face was still wet with tears, but they were tears of joy. The eternity of the moment now held the promise of a lifetime to come, and they stood lost in each other, oblivious to even their daughter between them. The Force itself seemed to resonate with that promise, and the promise became the kiss--as unbreakable and binding as the love which had drawn them together, all those years ago on Tatooine.
On the landing ramp of the Tantive IV, Yoda, Bail Organa, and Anakin Kenobi stood watching. The venerated Jedi leaned on the top of his cane, hands folded over it, with just the hint of a smile on his face. The senator grinned with unabashed pleasure and turned to lay the infant Luke in his brother's arms.
Ani looked from his brother to their parents and back again, a small sigh escaping his lips. "Just wait, kid. This is nothing."