Subaru/Arashi (X/1999)
Title: Sun Goes Down
Author: Parron (hinikuish)
Email: sparkling.onions [at] gmail.com
Fandom: X (X/1999)
Pairing: Subaru Sumeragi/Arashi Kishuu
Spoilers: You bet. Spoilers for all of Tokyo Babylon, all of X-TV, and all of the X manga thus far.
Disclaimer: Don't own.
Notes: Thanks to umadoshi for mad beta-reading skillz0r. And to sirea1182 for a look over - well, actually, I made like 10 people look this essay over, so... yeah. Thanks to the people who did. XD You know who you are.
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most drowned future:
T H E S E R I E S
X (X/1999) is a manga series by the four woman group known as CLAMP. One of their better-known works, it combines violence with extreme beauty, angst with conveniently placed feathers and/or cherry blossoms, and more crack then you can shake a stick at. He's hugging her what? If you answered "bloody dismembered head," welcome to Tokyo.
X has three adaptations: a 24-episode anime, a movie, and an as-yet uncompleted 18-volume manga series (plus a few loose chapters that would become part of volume 19, if it ever gets finished-we'll be focusing on the manga in this essay). With the exception of one character change in the movie, all three incarnations feature the same characters and basic plot-Kamui Shirou is a fifteen-year-old high school first year, who moves back to Tokyo after his mother dies in a fire. He reunites with his childhood friends, and quickly discovers that all sorts of freaks with strange magical powers are after him (for good? For ill? For want of an excuse to eat Korean Barbecue? Who knows!). It develops that 1999 is, in fact, the End Of The World, and that Kamui is the chosen savior-or possibly, destroyer-of them all.
(Insert "we're all doomed!" cracks here.)
There will be two groups fighting in Tokyo, the Seven Seals and the Seven Angels/Harbingers (depending on translation, although I will be using the latter). They are also known as the Dragons of Heaven (the Seals) and the Dragons of Earth (Harbingers). The Seals will be fighting to save Tokyo and humanity-they are a motley bunch with various religious backgrounds and more angst than you can ever fully comprehend. The Harbingers, conversely, will be trying their very best (when they feel like it) to destroy Tokyo and purge Earth of the human race, in order to let nature take hold of the planet again. They are a quirky, generally sociopathic bunch, so everything balances well.
The two groups quickly gather, save for one-Kamui Shirou, Our Pissy Hero, who has the power to choose either side (whereas everyone else treats their assignments as a matter of destiny). He eventually chooses the "good guys," the Dragons of Heaven, but at the cost of his childhood friend Kotori's life-she is killed by her older brother, and Kamui's other best friend, Fuuma Monou. To add insult to great injury, Fuuma undergoes a complete (literally magical, or at least 'destined for the sake of convenience') personality change and runs off to head the bad guys. Woe.
Despite the sides being seven-to-seven, destiny is not entirely set in stone. Over the next few months, there are many battles and injuries. Though the Harbingers are winning the overall battle, two of the them are killed-one of them having just 'switched sides' to protect one of the Seals. Is that allowed? To defy destiny and join the opposition? Fuuma assures one of the Harbingers at one point that destiny doesn't matter, that you are free to choose your own future. On the other hand, the Seals are rather stubbornly fatalistic, one of them-having once learned his destiny is to be killed-going so far as to embrace the future.
But two of the Seals are less then content with the workings of 'destiny,' and you can't really blame them either. Destiny ends up screwing them both over, and they both end up taking matters into their own hands. If as Seals they cannot fight the future, after all, why not try it from the other side? They are the deserters, the traitors, the heartbroken-and the gorgeous, to promptly ruin any poeticism I might have had going there. They are the hopeless ones. And this essay is for them.
every time i look for you the sun goes down:
SUBARU SUMERAGI & ARASHI KISHUU
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W H O?
arashi kishuu: be careful shaking her hand...
Arashi is one of the seven Dragons of Heaven, the destined protectors of the world. She never had a father, and her mother died when she was only seven, leaving Arashi alone on the streets. For several months, Arashi fended for herself by scrounging through the trash, but after a while she started to question the point of that: Even though her mother had asked her to please live, was it really worth living if this was the life she'd have? Arashi stopped eating, then, deciding that perhaps it would be better to die-serious thoughts for a seven-year-old girl! Luckily, a woman named Kaede found Arashi around this point. Kaede was a friend of Arashi's mother, and is a priestess of some importance at the Ise Shrine, possibly the most famous Shinto shrine in Japan. Kaede, knowing of Arashi's destined role in the final battle in Tokyo, takes the girl in and urges her to eat, to live. Finally, on the promise that there are people that care for her in the world, Arashi agrees.
Flash forward about ten years. Arashi is now about seventeen years old, a serious, quiet, gorgeous second year in high school. The year is 1999, and she travels to Tokyo to fulfill her destiny-to meet Kamui, and help him as one of his allies. Arashi is a miko, a priestess, and in addition to her power to summon a kekkai (psychic barrier), she has a second, pretty cool power: Whenever she wants, Arashi can summon a sword that literally comes bursting out of the palm of her left hand. There is only one catch, which we'll get to later.
Arashi is serious, quiet, and-sadly-somewhat short-tempered. She is rational and generally calm, but is very easily annoyed. She's a good cook, a good student, and a good friend-even though she can be cold at times. Arashi has a lot of trouble opening up to people, and a lot of trouble lightening up (we never, for example, see her laugh or really even smile). She attends high school at the CLAMP Campus, and lives in a small house (think condo) provided for her and the other high-school aged Seals-Kamui Shirou, Yuzuriha Nekoi, and Sorata Arisugawa. CLAMP represents her with the tarot card "Temperance."
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subaru sumeragi: fate's bitch
Before X was written, CLAMP wrote another series, called Tokyo Babylon. This manga was about three individuals: The young, talented, 16-year-old Onmyouji Subaru Sumeragi, his twin sister Hokuto, and their older friend Seishiro Sakurazuka. Subaru, head of his clan, works to exorcize spirits throughout Tokyo, and in addition to that, the manga also focuses on the growing romance between him and Seishiro, a veterinarian several years older then him. We’ll detail this relationship a little better, but it turned out badly for all involved-Seishiro was revealed in the end to be a sociopath and a murderer besides, killing Hokuto and beating the crap out of Subaru before vanishing. Subaru becomes obsessed with Seishiro, and for eight years devotes himself to becoming strong enough for Seishiro to take notice of him again-not so that Subaru can take his revenge, but so that Seishiro will be forced to kill Subaru, too.
Subaru, to be blunt, is a highly unstable individual. He's obsessed, selfish, childish to a degree, and severely depressed. But he's kind, despite all the crap he's been through, and helpful. He reaches out to Kamui, our hero, protecting him in battle and helping him with his homework. Subaru is more or less aware of his problems, and certainly knows how unhealthy it is, but he can do very little at this point to change his fate. Instead, he spends much of the first volumes of the series (a few months, story time) helping Kamui, and even-in a way-serving as a guide by pointing to himself as an example of what not to grow up to be. He is represented by CLAMP by "The Hanged Man" tarot, and this is pretty much accurate.
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follow me down:
C A N O N I N T E R A C T I O N S
This section is alternatively titled, "what do you call subtext when they actually never speak to begin with?" This is not entirely true: Subaru and Arashi certainly spend time together, if only from their relationship with the Seals, but in canon we only really have one instance of them speaking to each other. The problem is that they stay in different circles-Arashi spends her time with the other young Seals and Subaru (unless he's spending some time with Kamui) tends to avoid them all. Honestly, the idea of them being a couple before a certain point in the series (X-18 or so) is laughable, for several reasons-these are two people completely wrapped up in their own affairs. Subaru has Seishiro to occupy all of his time and energy, and Arashi has the younger Seals, most notably Sorata, to keep her busy.
All the same, from what little we have, and from their personalities, it's not difficult to see that they could find a lot to respect about each other. Subaru and Arashi are both quiet, thoughtful characters-and they are two of the more practical, serious Seals. In short, they have many traits in common, and it isn't hard to imagine that they could, if not become friends, get along pretty well. No, they wouldn't talk much, or hang out, but they'd get the job done, and do it well.
As I mentioned, however, they only really speak once: their first meeting, in X-8. Arashi (and Sorata) head towards a kekkai, only to witness a short battle between Subaru and Seishiro. The match ends with Seishiro vanishing, and Sorata decides to take this chance to meet this person.
Sorata uses his usual irreverence (yelling "hey, wait!" and then complaining when Subaru doesn't pay any attention- "He might look pretty, but he's not nice at all!"), but Arashi is much more to the point. As Subaru continues to walk away, she calls out to him- "You made the kekkai." When he pauses, she introduces herself. Then, ignoring Sorata's silliness/flirting, Arashi continues to very calmly give further explanation to who she is, and get Subaru's name in the process. I know, it doesn't seem like much. But think about it.
Subaru has just fought Seishiro. It is fairly safe to say that he is on the verge of, or already two steps into, Angst Land (population: Subaru, Kamui, and the Ghosts Of Their Tragic Pasts). He's also not the type to appreciate Sorata's sense of humor. Nevertheless, Arashi is able to calmly get his attention, alert him to the presence of two more Seals, introduce herself and confirm him as the Sumeragi Clan Head. I admit it doesn't seem like much, but-there aren't all that many characters able to pull Subaru away from the angst, even just for a few minutes (we all just know that ten minutes after that, Subaru began with fresh vigor his chain smoking/brooding).
The second time Subaru and Arashi interact is in X volume 12. Due to a combination of bad luck and guilty wishes (it's a long story), Subaru loses his right eye in a fight with Fuuma. While he's recovering in the hospital, Arashi does go to visit him (with Sorata-this is a theme). But she seems genuinely concerned about him-for Arashi, no small feat, as she tends towards 'suppression' on the emotional scale-and brings him flowers (with Sorata).
The third and last time you really see them together (in the loosest sense of the word so far) is on Rainbow Bridge. Not to delve too deeply into the whole angst-pit that is the Subaru/Seishiro relationship, they finally have their Final Battle on this aforementioned bridge. Subaru's plan is, basically, to let Seishiro kill him, something Kamui realizes shortly after the battle begins. Kamui and the other young Seals are guarding a shrine on the other end of Tokyo, so they agree to split up. Kamui and Arashi race to Subaru's aid.
...Only to find a lot of smoke, half of Rainbow Bridge having just been blown up by Seishiro's last attack. Arashi and Kamui call out to Subaru, both worried, and the smoke clears... to reveal Subaru, his hand sticking through Seishiro's chest. And Seishiro, dying. We'll come back to this point later.
Okay, so, Arashi's role in the scene is minimal at best. She is obviously concerned about Subaru, obviously worried that he's hurt or have been killed-and obviously shocked by the way this all turned out. Which sounds serious, but they are companions, part of the same team, and Arashi is a pretty caring person underneath her shell.
I know, I know, this isn't exactly proof of a hidden love (or hidden, well, anything). And I'm not arguing that it is-I just am trying to prove that Subaru and Arashi do seem to have, if not a friendship, some sort of mutual respect. That failing, it's not terribly difficult to believe one could develop between them, offscreen. But at the point we're at, there is no way they could become a couple-they are far too wrapped up in their own circles, and those circles overlap only minimally at best.
Which is why it's time to take a quick look at the two most important people in their lives. And, more importantly, where it all went wrong.
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if i had it again i'd change it all:
A M O N K A N D A N A S S A S S I N
Subaru/Arashi could work. Very easily, in fact. They have the sort of similar personalities and outlooks that would work well together, a sort of respect-turned-to-love feel. Maybe not love, but I don't find it far of a stretch to imagine that they could have been a more commonly shipped pair in the X fandom (as opposed to their current status as, "wait, you're shipping who?").
Except for one little detail. Well, two details, really: They're both in love with other people. We aren't talking a crush, or slightly liking, we're talking all capitals, bold and underline and italics (and possibly sparkles and huge font) LOVE. Ask anyone-anyone-in the X fandom. Subaru goes with Seishiro Sakurazuka and Arashi goes with Sorata Arisugawa.
Let's recap.
When Subaru was about nine years old, he went to Tokyo with his grandmother and ended up wandering off, finding a large, mysterious cherry tree. Sensing some sort of evil in it, Subaru-then a novice Onmyouji-tried to exorcize the evil from it, drawing the attention of Seishiro Sakurazuka. They speak, and Seishiro is intrigued by young Subaru's purity. Although Seishiro, as an evil assassin type, is somewhat obligated to kill Subaru-for the boy accidentally witnesses Seishiro killing a young girl-he instead decides to let the boy go. On one condition. Seishiro marks Subaru's hands with inverted pentagrams and makes a "bet" with him-we'll meet again, years from now (he says), and I will spend exactly one year acting as though I love you. Seishiro will take care of Subaru, and generally do everything he can to be an ideal mate for Subaru. If at the end of this year, Seishiro feels anything towards Subaru, he will not kill him, and instead stay by Subaru's side and love him forever. However, if by the end of the year Seishiro isn't in love with Subaru, Seishiro will kill him instead, like he ought to have that day.
Eight years later, Subaru and his twin "meet" Seishiro. Subaru has no memory of the bet they made, and certainly doesn't remember that Seishiro is the evil assassin that he is. True to his word, Seishiro acts as though he is utterly in love with Subaru. And Subaru grows to love him back. He first realizes this feeling when Seishiro protects him from an insane woman, losing his right eye to a knife in the process. Subaru panics, and later-feeling intensely guilty-goes to visit Seishiro in the hospital. While waiting to see him, Subaru comes to the realization that he loves him. But before he can do anything about it, however, the "deadline" for the bet arrives.
And Seishiro decides he does not love Subaru. He almost kills the boy (but is fought off by Subaru's grandmother), and makes a temporary retreat. Subaru is left in a comatose state, simply from the shock. To try and wake him, and to try and protect him, Hokuto (the twin sister) finds Seishiro for herself, and asks him to kill her instead. He willingly does so, and Hokuto reveals that she had had a plan all along: she had put a spell on Seishiro, sacrificed her life to do it. If Seishiro ever tried to kill Subaru ever again, the spell would backfire and Seishiro would die instead. Subaru doesn't learn of this spell until years later.
Subaru wakes from his coma and first panics, then calms. He drops out of school and decides to devote his life to killing Seishiro (even though he still loves Seishiro). Over time, however, Subaru's goal changes: He just wants to warrant Seishiro's attention. To be important enough to kill. Subaru's wish becomes that Seishiro would kill him. Instead, thanks to his sister's spell, Subaru ends up killing Seishiro instead.
Subaru is heartbroken. More then that, he has lost every bit of purpose his life had. Everyone he loves is dead, he has no real will to live, and no desire to play at being a Seal any longer. Fuuma of the Harbingers approaches him then, offering Subaru a second chance-of sorts. The Sakurazukamori rites of inheritance are simply "whoever kills the Sakurazukamori becomes the Sakurazukamori," so Subaru is offered just that. To become what Seishiro was. Subaru gladly accepts, and although he does not technically fight to destroy Tokyo, from that day forward he is counted as one of the Dragons of Earth-Subaru is effectively one of the bad guys now.
Arashi's story is thankfully simpler. Shortly after arriving in Tokyo, Arashi runs into Sorata Arisugawa. He is another Seal, about her age (they are in the same grade in high school, at any rate). They were both raised in temples-Sorata in a Buddhist monastery, and Arashi in a Shinto shrine. And they are both good cooks. That is, however, all they have in common. Nevertheless, Sorata is instantly taken with our Arashi, and spends the next months actively and fiercely pursuing her. Over time, and after enduring much flirting and teasing and one confession of love, Arashi comes to reciprocate.
The only catch is that Sorata was told, years ago, that sometime during 1999, he'd be killed protecting the woman he loves.
Oops.
Although Sorata tells this to Arashi fairly early on-okay, actually about a day after they met-after several months of 'protecting' Arashi, the worst injury Sorata had received was a cut on his arm-not exactly threatening. It is easy to imagine that Arashi had mostly dismissed this prophecy-especially as our Sora has the ability to exaggerate and be overly dramatic. But one day, about a month after Subaru kills Seishiro and vanishes from our sight, Arashi is in battle-and is nearly crushed by falling rubble. Nearly, but she is saved at the last minute by some sort of summoned creature. Summoned by Sorata, who had to pay with his health for the attack. Seeing him critically injured because of her, Arashi flies into a panic. Later, in the hospital, Arashi visits Sorata and ends up confessing her feelings for him (or, well, letting Sorata guess them correctly). They kiss, and we cut away... and the next time we see them, well, let's just say it's morning.
As amazingly fangirly as this whole affair is, there's one catch: Arashi was a shrine maiden, and her powers relied on her being just that. A maiden. Also known as a virgin. Upset and lost and more than a little worried, Arashi flees before Sorata wakes up, powerless and afraid.
Looking for help and advice on what to do next, Arashi goes to the Dreamseer Hinoto, who-having turned evil without anyone really noticing-instead brainwashes her, telling her to forget the past and awake as a Dragon of Earth. The last we hear of her in the manga, Sorata has barged down to Hinoto's rooms, demanding Arashi back. And Arashi has been brainwashed... the manga cuts off there, but the generally agreed-upon likely scenario has odd shades of Subaru's fate mixed it: That, under the control of a spell, Arashi is going to end up killing the person she loves most.
Anyone else notice some repeating themes? Let's face it, Subaru and Arashi are cut from the same cloth. They both slowly fall in love with people that (at least on the surface, Seishiro) seem to be far more outgoing then they. Both of them are protected by these other people at a critical moment, and this forces them to realize their feelings. Something bad happens to them soon after-Hokuto's death and Arashi's loss of powers-and both of these things tie in directly to what happened at the hospital (Hokuto dies to save Subaru, Arashi loses her virginity). And, this event directly leads to the death of the other person, by their hands and by means of a spell-Hokuto’s protection spell and Hinoto’s brainwashing spell (it's true that Sorata isn't dead yet, but work with me here). To sweeten the pot, they then both turn 'evil' and abandon the DoH-Arashi in the anime only, but it still seems likely for the manga-verse. Especially since she's being brainwashed for that end.
And if that isn't a common bond, I don't know what is.
On that pair of oddly similar notes, let's move on to the most important section of all: How it works.
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i look at you and see only me:
T O G E T H E R
So they have a lot in common. So they have similar back stories and personalities and tend to react similarly to events, namely, by running and joining the bad guys. So they are both physically gorgeous people with no sense of humor to speak of and dead love interests. Okay. So why does that mean they are destined to be together, I'm sure you ask.
Well. Destined is such a strong word...
I don't think it's hard to imagine them taking notice of one another after a certain point, however. They are the only characters so far to lose their lovers, and the only characters to switch sides and live to tell of it (for more then a second or two-I'm looking at you, Nataku). They're the only two characters to fall in love with other people fighting in the battle-or at least, the only two for whom their feelings are made blindingly obvious. Sure, Kamui might have a crush on Fuuma, but he also might have a crush on Kotori, Subaru, Keiichi, Yuzuriha... in the cases of Subaru and Arashi, we know from the start who their love interests are, we know for a stone cold fact what their feelings are.
And we also know that Sorata and Seishiro are, for a fact, dead (well, technically not Sorata, yet, but the odds are very much against him). They are unique in this series, and so alike in their separation that it is hard to imagine that they-intelligent people, after all-wouldn't notice it, too. Especially since the odds of them running into one another after the whole Turning Evil bit are pretty large. They both relied on Fuuma to get to where they are, and they have past history.
So that's how they could get together, even why. But how would it be once they were?
Well, you know, they do say that love isn't everything...
I can picture Subaru/Arashi working in two different ways, once significantly less nice then the other. The nice one is simple-they have one hell of a common bond. They could grow close, have someone to relate to. They could, in short, help one another get over their pasts, and find someone in whom they could confide, trust, and respect. I've said it before and will say it again: these two have a lot in common. Is it really so hard to imagine them, if not in love, firmly together? They are quiet people, but not terribly fond of loneliness. Arashi as a child wanted to die because of it, and Subaru was so messed up by the thought of being alone that he decided to love the murderer of his sister, instead of getting over it right then and there. They could get together, they could easily get along, live with each other, and I suppose that-given time and patience-they could fall in love.
With time. And patience. Lots of patience. Lots of time.
I admit that my favorite scenario is the, ah, darker one: The one where they are a little unbalanced and unstable and unhappy. The one where they're a little evil and insane and still so easy on the eyes. The one where they are screwed over and sort of realize they are, that they're murders and the ones they've killed are the ones they loved best. The one where they are being eaten up by guilt and are together only because that way they're not guilty alone.
You know. That one. The one where Subaru is the Sakurazukamori and kills people mostly because it makes him feel closer to Seishiro. The one where Arashi not only feels bad that Sorata is dead, but feels bad that he's dead protecting her and feels bad that he had to protect her and that she killed him to start with. They'd have a run-on love, or not a love at all, or even better they'd hate each other and be psychotic around each other and, well, be together only because they have no one else to turn to. And can't be bothered to try.
And then, after the final battle (pretending that Our Kamui wins it), they are the leftovers, who can't go back to their old lives because they've basically thrown those old lives violently aside. Subaru can't be clan head if he's the Sakurazukamori, and Arashi can't go back to Ise since she is no longer a miko-you know. Like that. They have no alternatives besides each other, and are so much alike that even they don't like one another, they can't help but be with each other.
On and on, forever and ever.
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and they lived ever after:
F A N I N T E R P R E T A T I O N
To say that I like Subaru/Arashi is a bit of a lie. The way I see it, it isn't a "like" pairing. It is a worst-case scenario, an unhappily ever after, the very definition in many ways of "well they have stuff in common, so they should totally date!" In a way, that's part of the appeal. I 'ship Sorata/Arashi or Kamui/Keiichi when I want my happily ever afters and my fluff. I read Subaru/Seishiro when I want my abusive relationship angst. Subaru/Arashi is a different class entirely, a less dramatic and more hopeless scenario. It's not for everyone. It's exhausting to write. But it has its own appeal, for me at least, despite or because of that.
And, hey, it makes great crack. The first time I thought about Subaru/Arashi it was in terms of crack, in terms of "well, if we look at it this way, Subaru and Arashi would have the most physically beautiful children in all the world." Which is a very valid point: just look at them both, seriously. The second time I looked at them it was due to a story that made the point that no matter their relationship before, after X-17 they suddenly have a lot in common. A lot. It got me to thinking, certainly. And physical beauty plus thinking... obviously, plot bunnies are the next step. I like to say that Subaru/Arashi is my One Crack Love, except that I don't take crack seriously and Subaru/Arashi by their very nature is excruciatingly serious.
So what's the appeal? I'm not sure. Shipping Subaru/Arashi is almost like shipping Seishiro/Subaru/Arashi/Sorata all at once, because they are so wrapped up in their past loves that they can't really get over each other. It's not a couple that lends itself to "moving on and getting over it." It's not abusive, that's appealing-usually angst in this fandom comes in terms of abuse of some sort, and Subaru/Arashi is a refreshing breeze in that way. A breeze of angst. And, lest we forget, they are physically gorgeous people. I've said it a lot, scattered the word through the entire essay, but it is still true. If we are going to be superficial, Subaru/Arashi is the way to go. Because seriously.
If my attempts to convert seem half-hearted, I apologize. This is a pairing I can totally understand other people not getting or wanting to get, especially since my own love for it came fairly out of nowhere, inexplicably. And I'm the author of the essay.
Since this essay is clearly no help at all when it comes to showing the beauty of Subaru/Arashi, perhaps a few recs are in order. Subaru/Arashi is an uncommon couple in the same way that happiness/wakefulness is uncommon for Kakyo, so it was difficult to scrounge up a list longer than two stories. But I tried really, really hard, and came up with four.
I look on You
Dude, it’s a Subaru/Arashi fanlisting-what more is there to say? Proof that I’m not the only one, anyhow.
Home, by Sonzai.
A short one shot detailing a more happily-ever-after version of the pairing, with love instead of insanity.
Prompt: "Pudding", by mefiant.
Part of a meme, so bunched in with other drabbles, but it’s Subaru/Arashi by a very, very good author-what more do you need?
Looking Glass, by hinikuish.
Okay, so, I wrote this one. You’ll have to forgive me for the self pimping, four is just a more appealing number than three. A take on the more, um, insane side of the pairing.
Author: Parron (hinikuish)
Email: sparkling.onions [at] gmail.com
Fandom: X (X/1999)
Pairing: Subaru Sumeragi/Arashi Kishuu
Spoilers: You bet. Spoilers for all of Tokyo Babylon, all of X-TV, and all of the X manga thus far.
Disclaimer: Don't own.
Notes: Thanks to umadoshi for mad beta-reading skillz0r. And to sirea1182 for a look over - well, actually, I made like 10 people look this essay over, so... yeah. Thanks to the people who did. XD You know who you are.
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most drowned future:
T H E S E R I E S
X (X/1999) is a manga series by the four woman group known as CLAMP. One of their better-known works, it combines violence with extreme beauty, angst with conveniently placed feathers and/or cherry blossoms, and more crack then you can shake a stick at. He's hugging her what? If you answered "bloody dismembered head," welcome to Tokyo.
X has three adaptations: a 24-episode anime, a movie, and an as-yet uncompleted 18-volume manga series (plus a few loose chapters that would become part of volume 19, if it ever gets finished-we'll be focusing on the manga in this essay). With the exception of one character change in the movie, all three incarnations feature the same characters and basic plot-Kamui Shirou is a fifteen-year-old high school first year, who moves back to Tokyo after his mother dies in a fire. He reunites with his childhood friends, and quickly discovers that all sorts of freaks with strange magical powers are after him (for good? For ill? For want of an excuse to eat Korean Barbecue? Who knows!). It develops that 1999 is, in fact, the End Of The World, and that Kamui is the chosen savior-or possibly, destroyer-of them all.
(Insert "we're all doomed!" cracks here.)
There will be two groups fighting in Tokyo, the Seven Seals and the Seven Angels/Harbingers (depending on translation, although I will be using the latter). They are also known as the Dragons of Heaven (the Seals) and the Dragons of Earth (Harbingers). The Seals will be fighting to save Tokyo and humanity-they are a motley bunch with various religious backgrounds and more angst than you can ever fully comprehend. The Harbingers, conversely, will be trying their very best (when they feel like it) to destroy Tokyo and purge Earth of the human race, in order to let nature take hold of the planet again. They are a quirky, generally sociopathic bunch, so everything balances well.
The two groups quickly gather, save for one-Kamui Shirou, Our Pissy Hero, who has the power to choose either side (whereas everyone else treats their assignments as a matter of destiny). He eventually chooses the "good guys," the Dragons of Heaven, but at the cost of his childhood friend Kotori's life-she is killed by her older brother, and Kamui's other best friend, Fuuma Monou. To add insult to great injury, Fuuma undergoes a complete (literally magical, or at least 'destined for the sake of convenience') personality change and runs off to head the bad guys. Woe.
Despite the sides being seven-to-seven, destiny is not entirely set in stone. Over the next few months, there are many battles and injuries. Though the Harbingers are winning the overall battle, two of the them are killed-one of them having just 'switched sides' to protect one of the Seals. Is that allowed? To defy destiny and join the opposition? Fuuma assures one of the Harbingers at one point that destiny doesn't matter, that you are free to choose your own future. On the other hand, the Seals are rather stubbornly fatalistic, one of them-having once learned his destiny is to be killed-going so far as to embrace the future.
But two of the Seals are less then content with the workings of 'destiny,' and you can't really blame them either. Destiny ends up screwing them both over, and they both end up taking matters into their own hands. If as Seals they cannot fight the future, after all, why not try it from the other side? They are the deserters, the traitors, the heartbroken-and the gorgeous, to promptly ruin any poeticism I might have had going there. They are the hopeless ones. And this essay is for them.
every time i look for you the sun goes down:
SUBARU SUMERAGI & ARASHI KISHUU
* * *
W H O?
arashi kishuu: be careful shaking her hand...
Arashi is one of the seven Dragons of Heaven, the destined protectors of the world. She never had a father, and her mother died when she was only seven, leaving Arashi alone on the streets. For several months, Arashi fended for herself by scrounging through the trash, but after a while she started to question the point of that: Even though her mother had asked her to please live, was it really worth living if this was the life she'd have? Arashi stopped eating, then, deciding that perhaps it would be better to die-serious thoughts for a seven-year-old girl! Luckily, a woman named Kaede found Arashi around this point. Kaede was a friend of Arashi's mother, and is a priestess of some importance at the Ise Shrine, possibly the most famous Shinto shrine in Japan. Kaede, knowing of Arashi's destined role in the final battle in Tokyo, takes the girl in and urges her to eat, to live. Finally, on the promise that there are people that care for her in the world, Arashi agrees.
Flash forward about ten years. Arashi is now about seventeen years old, a serious, quiet, gorgeous second year in high school. The year is 1999, and she travels to Tokyo to fulfill her destiny-to meet Kamui, and help him as one of his allies. Arashi is a miko, a priestess, and in addition to her power to summon a kekkai (psychic barrier), she has a second, pretty cool power: Whenever she wants, Arashi can summon a sword that literally comes bursting out of the palm of her left hand. There is only one catch, which we'll get to later.
Arashi is serious, quiet, and-sadly-somewhat short-tempered. She is rational and generally calm, but is very easily annoyed. She's a good cook, a good student, and a good friend-even though she can be cold at times. Arashi has a lot of trouble opening up to people, and a lot of trouble lightening up (we never, for example, see her laugh or really even smile). She attends high school at the CLAMP Campus, and lives in a small house (think condo) provided for her and the other high-school aged Seals-Kamui Shirou, Yuzuriha Nekoi, and Sorata Arisugawa. CLAMP represents her with the tarot card "Temperance."
* * *
subaru sumeragi: fate's bitch
Before X was written, CLAMP wrote another series, called Tokyo Babylon. This manga was about three individuals: The young, talented, 16-year-old Onmyouji Subaru Sumeragi, his twin sister Hokuto, and their older friend Seishiro Sakurazuka. Subaru, head of his clan, works to exorcize spirits throughout Tokyo, and in addition to that, the manga also focuses on the growing romance between him and Seishiro, a veterinarian several years older then him. We’ll detail this relationship a little better, but it turned out badly for all involved-Seishiro was revealed in the end to be a sociopath and a murderer besides, killing Hokuto and beating the crap out of Subaru before vanishing. Subaru becomes obsessed with Seishiro, and for eight years devotes himself to becoming strong enough for Seishiro to take notice of him again-not so that Subaru can take his revenge, but so that Seishiro will be forced to kill Subaru, too.
Subaru, to be blunt, is a highly unstable individual. He's obsessed, selfish, childish to a degree, and severely depressed. But he's kind, despite all the crap he's been through, and helpful. He reaches out to Kamui, our hero, protecting him in battle and helping him with his homework. Subaru is more or less aware of his problems, and certainly knows how unhealthy it is, but he can do very little at this point to change his fate. Instead, he spends much of the first volumes of the series (a few months, story time) helping Kamui, and even-in a way-serving as a guide by pointing to himself as an example of what not to grow up to be. He is represented by CLAMP by "The Hanged Man" tarot, and this is pretty much accurate.
* * *
follow me down:
C A N O N I N T E R A C T I O N S
This section is alternatively titled, "what do you call subtext when they actually never speak to begin with?" This is not entirely true: Subaru and Arashi certainly spend time together, if only from their relationship with the Seals, but in canon we only really have one instance of them speaking to each other. The problem is that they stay in different circles-Arashi spends her time with the other young Seals and Subaru (unless he's spending some time with Kamui) tends to avoid them all. Honestly, the idea of them being a couple before a certain point in the series (X-18 or so) is laughable, for several reasons-these are two people completely wrapped up in their own affairs. Subaru has Seishiro to occupy all of his time and energy, and Arashi has the younger Seals, most notably Sorata, to keep her busy.
All the same, from what little we have, and from their personalities, it's not difficult to see that they could find a lot to respect about each other. Subaru and Arashi are both quiet, thoughtful characters-and they are two of the more practical, serious Seals. In short, they have many traits in common, and it isn't hard to imagine that they could, if not become friends, get along pretty well. No, they wouldn't talk much, or hang out, but they'd get the job done, and do it well.
As I mentioned, however, they only really speak once: their first meeting, in X-8. Arashi (and Sorata) head towards a kekkai, only to witness a short battle between Subaru and Seishiro. The match ends with Seishiro vanishing, and Sorata decides to take this chance to meet this person.
Sorata uses his usual irreverence (yelling "hey, wait!" and then complaining when Subaru doesn't pay any attention- "He might look pretty, but he's not nice at all!"), but Arashi is much more to the point. As Subaru continues to walk away, she calls out to him- "You made the kekkai." When he pauses, she introduces herself. Then, ignoring Sorata's silliness/flirting, Arashi continues to very calmly give further explanation to who she is, and get Subaru's name in the process. I know, it doesn't seem like much. But think about it.
Subaru has just fought Seishiro. It is fairly safe to say that he is on the verge of, or already two steps into, Angst Land (population: Subaru, Kamui, and the Ghosts Of Their Tragic Pasts). He's also not the type to appreciate Sorata's sense of humor. Nevertheless, Arashi is able to calmly get his attention, alert him to the presence of two more Seals, introduce herself and confirm him as the Sumeragi Clan Head. I admit it doesn't seem like much, but-there aren't all that many characters able to pull Subaru away from the angst, even just for a few minutes (we all just know that ten minutes after that, Subaru began with fresh vigor his chain smoking/brooding).
The second time Subaru and Arashi interact is in X volume 12. Due to a combination of bad luck and guilty wishes (it's a long story), Subaru loses his right eye in a fight with Fuuma. While he's recovering in the hospital, Arashi does go to visit him (with Sorata-this is a theme). But she seems genuinely concerned about him-for Arashi, no small feat, as she tends towards 'suppression' on the emotional scale-and brings him flowers (with Sorata).
The third and last time you really see them together (in the loosest sense of the word so far) is on Rainbow Bridge. Not to delve too deeply into the whole angst-pit that is the Subaru/Seishiro relationship, they finally have their Final Battle on this aforementioned bridge. Subaru's plan is, basically, to let Seishiro kill him, something Kamui realizes shortly after the battle begins. Kamui and the other young Seals are guarding a shrine on the other end of Tokyo, so they agree to split up. Kamui and Arashi race to Subaru's aid.
...Only to find a lot of smoke, half of Rainbow Bridge having just been blown up by Seishiro's last attack. Arashi and Kamui call out to Subaru, both worried, and the smoke clears... to reveal Subaru, his hand sticking through Seishiro's chest. And Seishiro, dying. We'll come back to this point later.
Okay, so, Arashi's role in the scene is minimal at best. She is obviously concerned about Subaru, obviously worried that he's hurt or have been killed-and obviously shocked by the way this all turned out. Which sounds serious, but they are companions, part of the same team, and Arashi is a pretty caring person underneath her shell.
I know, I know, this isn't exactly proof of a hidden love (or hidden, well, anything). And I'm not arguing that it is-I just am trying to prove that Subaru and Arashi do seem to have, if not a friendship, some sort of mutual respect. That failing, it's not terribly difficult to believe one could develop between them, offscreen. But at the point we're at, there is no way they could become a couple-they are far too wrapped up in their own circles, and those circles overlap only minimally at best.
Which is why it's time to take a quick look at the two most important people in their lives. And, more importantly, where it all went wrong.
* * *
if i had it again i'd change it all:
A M O N K A N D A N A S S A S S I N
Subaru/Arashi could work. Very easily, in fact. They have the sort of similar personalities and outlooks that would work well together, a sort of respect-turned-to-love feel. Maybe not love, but I don't find it far of a stretch to imagine that they could have been a more commonly shipped pair in the X fandom (as opposed to their current status as, "wait, you're shipping who?").
Except for one little detail. Well, two details, really: They're both in love with other people. We aren't talking a crush, or slightly liking, we're talking all capitals, bold and underline and italics (and possibly sparkles and huge font) LOVE. Ask anyone-anyone-in the X fandom. Subaru goes with Seishiro Sakurazuka and Arashi goes with Sorata Arisugawa.
Let's recap.
When Subaru was about nine years old, he went to Tokyo with his grandmother and ended up wandering off, finding a large, mysterious cherry tree. Sensing some sort of evil in it, Subaru-then a novice Onmyouji-tried to exorcize the evil from it, drawing the attention of Seishiro Sakurazuka. They speak, and Seishiro is intrigued by young Subaru's purity. Although Seishiro, as an evil assassin type, is somewhat obligated to kill Subaru-for the boy accidentally witnesses Seishiro killing a young girl-he instead decides to let the boy go. On one condition. Seishiro marks Subaru's hands with inverted pentagrams and makes a "bet" with him-we'll meet again, years from now (he says), and I will spend exactly one year acting as though I love you. Seishiro will take care of Subaru, and generally do everything he can to be an ideal mate for Subaru. If at the end of this year, Seishiro feels anything towards Subaru, he will not kill him, and instead stay by Subaru's side and love him forever. However, if by the end of the year Seishiro isn't in love with Subaru, Seishiro will kill him instead, like he ought to have that day.
Eight years later, Subaru and his twin "meet" Seishiro. Subaru has no memory of the bet they made, and certainly doesn't remember that Seishiro is the evil assassin that he is. True to his word, Seishiro acts as though he is utterly in love with Subaru. And Subaru grows to love him back. He first realizes this feeling when Seishiro protects him from an insane woman, losing his right eye to a knife in the process. Subaru panics, and later-feeling intensely guilty-goes to visit Seishiro in the hospital. While waiting to see him, Subaru comes to the realization that he loves him. But before he can do anything about it, however, the "deadline" for the bet arrives.
And Seishiro decides he does not love Subaru. He almost kills the boy (but is fought off by Subaru's grandmother), and makes a temporary retreat. Subaru is left in a comatose state, simply from the shock. To try and wake him, and to try and protect him, Hokuto (the twin sister) finds Seishiro for herself, and asks him to kill her instead. He willingly does so, and Hokuto reveals that she had had a plan all along: she had put a spell on Seishiro, sacrificed her life to do it. If Seishiro ever tried to kill Subaru ever again, the spell would backfire and Seishiro would die instead. Subaru doesn't learn of this spell until years later.
Subaru wakes from his coma and first panics, then calms. He drops out of school and decides to devote his life to killing Seishiro (even though he still loves Seishiro). Over time, however, Subaru's goal changes: He just wants to warrant Seishiro's attention. To be important enough to kill. Subaru's wish becomes that Seishiro would kill him. Instead, thanks to his sister's spell, Subaru ends up killing Seishiro instead.
Subaru is heartbroken. More then that, he has lost every bit of purpose his life had. Everyone he loves is dead, he has no real will to live, and no desire to play at being a Seal any longer. Fuuma of the Harbingers approaches him then, offering Subaru a second chance-of sorts. The Sakurazukamori rites of inheritance are simply "whoever kills the Sakurazukamori becomes the Sakurazukamori," so Subaru is offered just that. To become what Seishiro was. Subaru gladly accepts, and although he does not technically fight to destroy Tokyo, from that day forward he is counted as one of the Dragons of Earth-Subaru is effectively one of the bad guys now.
Arashi's story is thankfully simpler. Shortly after arriving in Tokyo, Arashi runs into Sorata Arisugawa. He is another Seal, about her age (they are in the same grade in high school, at any rate). They were both raised in temples-Sorata in a Buddhist monastery, and Arashi in a Shinto shrine. And they are both good cooks. That is, however, all they have in common. Nevertheless, Sorata is instantly taken with our Arashi, and spends the next months actively and fiercely pursuing her. Over time, and after enduring much flirting and teasing and one confession of love, Arashi comes to reciprocate.
The only catch is that Sorata was told, years ago, that sometime during 1999, he'd be killed protecting the woman he loves.
Oops.
Although Sorata tells this to Arashi fairly early on-okay, actually about a day after they met-after several months of 'protecting' Arashi, the worst injury Sorata had received was a cut on his arm-not exactly threatening. It is easy to imagine that Arashi had mostly dismissed this prophecy-especially as our Sora has the ability to exaggerate and be overly dramatic. But one day, about a month after Subaru kills Seishiro and vanishes from our sight, Arashi is in battle-and is nearly crushed by falling rubble. Nearly, but she is saved at the last minute by some sort of summoned creature. Summoned by Sorata, who had to pay with his health for the attack. Seeing him critically injured because of her, Arashi flies into a panic. Later, in the hospital, Arashi visits Sorata and ends up confessing her feelings for him (or, well, letting Sorata guess them correctly). They kiss, and we cut away... and the next time we see them, well, let's just say it's morning.
As amazingly fangirly as this whole affair is, there's one catch: Arashi was a shrine maiden, and her powers relied on her being just that. A maiden. Also known as a virgin. Upset and lost and more than a little worried, Arashi flees before Sorata wakes up, powerless and afraid.
Looking for help and advice on what to do next, Arashi goes to the Dreamseer Hinoto, who-having turned evil without anyone really noticing-instead brainwashes her, telling her to forget the past and awake as a Dragon of Earth. The last we hear of her in the manga, Sorata has barged down to Hinoto's rooms, demanding Arashi back. And Arashi has been brainwashed... the manga cuts off there, but the generally agreed-upon likely scenario has odd shades of Subaru's fate mixed it: That, under the control of a spell, Arashi is going to end up killing the person she loves most.
Anyone else notice some repeating themes? Let's face it, Subaru and Arashi are cut from the same cloth. They both slowly fall in love with people that (at least on the surface, Seishiro) seem to be far more outgoing then they. Both of them are protected by these other people at a critical moment, and this forces them to realize their feelings. Something bad happens to them soon after-Hokuto's death and Arashi's loss of powers-and both of these things tie in directly to what happened at the hospital (Hokuto dies to save Subaru, Arashi loses her virginity). And, this event directly leads to the death of the other person, by their hands and by means of a spell-Hokuto’s protection spell and Hinoto’s brainwashing spell (it's true that Sorata isn't dead yet, but work with me here). To sweeten the pot, they then both turn 'evil' and abandon the DoH-Arashi in the anime only, but it still seems likely for the manga-verse. Especially since she's being brainwashed for that end.
And if that isn't a common bond, I don't know what is.
On that pair of oddly similar notes, let's move on to the most important section of all: How it works.
* * *
i look at you and see only me:
T O G E T H E R
So they have a lot in common. So they have similar back stories and personalities and tend to react similarly to events, namely, by running and joining the bad guys. So they are both physically gorgeous people with no sense of humor to speak of and dead love interests. Okay. So why does that mean they are destined to be together, I'm sure you ask.
Well. Destined is such a strong word...
I don't think it's hard to imagine them taking notice of one another after a certain point, however. They are the only characters so far to lose their lovers, and the only characters to switch sides and live to tell of it (for more then a second or two-I'm looking at you, Nataku). They're the only two characters to fall in love with other people fighting in the battle-or at least, the only two for whom their feelings are made blindingly obvious. Sure, Kamui might have a crush on Fuuma, but he also might have a crush on Kotori, Subaru, Keiichi, Yuzuriha... in the cases of Subaru and Arashi, we know from the start who their love interests are, we know for a stone cold fact what their feelings are.
And we also know that Sorata and Seishiro are, for a fact, dead (well, technically not Sorata, yet, but the odds are very much against him). They are unique in this series, and so alike in their separation that it is hard to imagine that they-intelligent people, after all-wouldn't notice it, too. Especially since the odds of them running into one another after the whole Turning Evil bit are pretty large. They both relied on Fuuma to get to where they are, and they have past history.
So that's how they could get together, even why. But how would it be once they were?
Well, you know, they do say that love isn't everything...
I can picture Subaru/Arashi working in two different ways, once significantly less nice then the other. The nice one is simple-they have one hell of a common bond. They could grow close, have someone to relate to. They could, in short, help one another get over their pasts, and find someone in whom they could confide, trust, and respect. I've said it before and will say it again: these two have a lot in common. Is it really so hard to imagine them, if not in love, firmly together? They are quiet people, but not terribly fond of loneliness. Arashi as a child wanted to die because of it, and Subaru was so messed up by the thought of being alone that he decided to love the murderer of his sister, instead of getting over it right then and there. They could get together, they could easily get along, live with each other, and I suppose that-given time and patience-they could fall in love.
With time. And patience. Lots of patience. Lots of time.
I admit that my favorite scenario is the, ah, darker one: The one where they are a little unbalanced and unstable and unhappy. The one where they're a little evil and insane and still so easy on the eyes. The one where they are screwed over and sort of realize they are, that they're murders and the ones they've killed are the ones they loved best. The one where they are being eaten up by guilt and are together only because that way they're not guilty alone.
You know. That one. The one where Subaru is the Sakurazukamori and kills people mostly because it makes him feel closer to Seishiro. The one where Arashi not only feels bad that Sorata is dead, but feels bad that he's dead protecting her and feels bad that he had to protect her and that she killed him to start with. They'd have a run-on love, or not a love at all, or even better they'd hate each other and be psychotic around each other and, well, be together only because they have no one else to turn to. And can't be bothered to try.
And then, after the final battle (pretending that Our Kamui wins it), they are the leftovers, who can't go back to their old lives because they've basically thrown those old lives violently aside. Subaru can't be clan head if he's the Sakurazukamori, and Arashi can't go back to Ise since she is no longer a miko-you know. Like that. They have no alternatives besides each other, and are so much alike that even they don't like one another, they can't help but be with each other.
On and on, forever and ever.
* * *
and they lived ever after:
F A N I N T E R P R E T A T I O N
To say that I like Subaru/Arashi is a bit of a lie. The way I see it, it isn't a "like" pairing. It is a worst-case scenario, an unhappily ever after, the very definition in many ways of "well they have stuff in common, so they should totally date!" In a way, that's part of the appeal. I 'ship Sorata/Arashi or Kamui/Keiichi when I want my happily ever afters and my fluff. I read Subaru/Seishiro when I want my abusive relationship angst. Subaru/Arashi is a different class entirely, a less dramatic and more hopeless scenario. It's not for everyone. It's exhausting to write. But it has its own appeal, for me at least, despite or because of that.
And, hey, it makes great crack. The first time I thought about Subaru/Arashi it was in terms of crack, in terms of "well, if we look at it this way, Subaru and Arashi would have the most physically beautiful children in all the world." Which is a very valid point: just look at them both, seriously. The second time I looked at them it was due to a story that made the point that no matter their relationship before, after X-17 they suddenly have a lot in common. A lot. It got me to thinking, certainly. And physical beauty plus thinking... obviously, plot bunnies are the next step. I like to say that Subaru/Arashi is my One Crack Love, except that I don't take crack seriously and Subaru/Arashi by their very nature is excruciatingly serious.
So what's the appeal? I'm not sure. Shipping Subaru/Arashi is almost like shipping Seishiro/Subaru/Arashi/Sorata all at once, because they are so wrapped up in their past loves that they can't really get over each other. It's not a couple that lends itself to "moving on and getting over it." It's not abusive, that's appealing-usually angst in this fandom comes in terms of abuse of some sort, and Subaru/Arashi is a refreshing breeze in that way. A breeze of angst. And, lest we forget, they are physically gorgeous people. I've said it a lot, scattered the word through the entire essay, but it is still true. If we are going to be superficial, Subaru/Arashi is the way to go. Because seriously.
If my attempts to convert seem half-hearted, I apologize. This is a pairing I can totally understand other people not getting or wanting to get, especially since my own love for it came fairly out of nowhere, inexplicably. And I'm the author of the essay.
Since this essay is clearly no help at all when it comes to showing the beauty of Subaru/Arashi, perhaps a few recs are in order. Subaru/Arashi is an uncommon couple in the same way that happiness/wakefulness is uncommon for Kakyo, so it was difficult to scrounge up a list longer than two stories. But I tried really, really hard, and came up with four.
I look on You
Dude, it’s a Subaru/Arashi fanlisting-what more is there to say? Proof that I’m not the only one, anyhow.
Home, by Sonzai.
A short one shot detailing a more happily-ever-after version of the pairing, with love instead of insanity.
Prompt: "Pudding", by mefiant.
Part of a meme, so bunched in with other drabbles, but it’s Subaru/Arashi by a very, very good author-what more do you need?
Looking Glass, by hinikuish.
Okay, so, I wrote this one. You’ll have to forgive me for the self pimping, four is just a more appealing number than three. A take on the more, um, insane side of the pairing.