Against All Odds - Prequel to Affirmation Part 4
Back again, back again, back again
I am pretty much fully done with Against All Odds and still typing up Truly, Madly, Deeply. I'm also donig the rough outline for the fourth and final part of this series, which will bring us to the present and reveal the fates of the Trio and explores more the relationship of Tony and Paul as they deal with two big changes in their lives: both being things Ryan and Colin have just gone through and are gonig through by the end of Affirmation. *hint hint*
So, without further adue, here's Part 4 of Against All Odds: A long part in which Paul reveals what happened to Caroline and friends, two guys that appeared in the end of Affirmation get to be involved a bit more, Tony's fate is revealed, and a question is asked that Paul has no clue how to answer.
Title: Against All Odds
Author: Shinigami518
Rating: PG-13, but with some bits of R in it.
Main Character(s) and/or pairings: Tony/Paul (starts as friendship, turns to "?", and ends with solid love), Josie/Richard, Paul/Caroline (kinda rocky, but established), Josie/Greg friendship, Stephen/Tony Friendship, Richard/Paul Friendship, Ryan/Colin at end
Summary: In late 1996, after a taping of HIGNFY, Paul is told by Greg and Josie about Tony's downward spiral into darkness. This is what happened to Tony and Paul before Affirmation with some angst, some fluff, some H/C, some horror, and a happy ending that'll lead to the sequel to Affirmation.
View the last parts here:
prologue
part 1
part 2
part 3
View Affirmation here:
Epilogue, but with all parts linked
Part 4 - Take a good look at me now, cos I'll still be standing here
Oct 4, 1996
8:05A.M.
St. Thomas Hospital
Paul sat alone in the waiting room, his face buried in his blood stained hands. His mind was racing like a cheetah hyped up on speed and Raspberry Schnapps. His eyes were red from the tears he shed. He kept thinking about both his nightmare and what had happened at Tony’s just a short while ago.
He remembered when the ambulance arrived and how worried and panicked he felt. The medics assured him that he did the right thing alerting them and making the tourniquets to stop the bleeding. Paul didn’t feel that good, even after those compliments. Someone he cared about was in danger.
If he’d only gone the day before, maybe Tony…
“Paul!”
Paul looked up to see Caroline running up to him with Greg, Josie, and Richard close behind her.
“We came as soon as we got the call.” Greg gasped for breath once he stopped in front of the now standing Paul, who was now getting hugged by Caroline.
“Paul, what the hell’s going on? What’s happened to Tony?” Richard demanded, shoving past Greg, very concerned about Tony. Paul broke Caroline’s embrace and ran a hand through his hair, sighing out a groan.
“Rich, I don’t even know where to begin…” Paul began.
“Is that… blood on your hands?” Caroline gasped, pointing at her husbands’ hands, one still on his head. Paul froze, lowering his bloodstained left hand. He stared at it in silence, the memories flooding back into his mind of what had happened an hour ago. The images were as clear as crystal, as if it was happening once more.
Tony. Pale. Close to death. Bleeding from his wrists. Not moving.
Paul began to tremble.
“Paul? Paul, are you-?” Josie asked, moving over to Paul, and then blinking in surprise, she added “Have you been crying?”
“I should’ve… I should’ve…,” Paul whispered, staring down at his hands, tears reforming in his eyes as he shook his head.
“Should’ve what?” Richard asked, raising an eyebrow. He didn’t finish his questions when he saw the tears in his friend’s eyes. Paul fell to his knees with a soft thud, hands falling in between his legs and head lowered.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Greg, Josie, you were right. You were right. He needed help and I buggered it all up. If I had gone to his apartment after taping yesterday, he wouldn’t be like this. I’m sorry. I’m so bloody sorry.” Paul apologized, ranting as he shook in silent sobs. Caroline just stared at her husband, stunned and uncertain in knowing what to do. Greg, Josie, and Richard stared at each other, stunned by Paul’s actions.
“Paul…,” Richard began, moving forward and knelt in front of his friend, “What happened today?” He asked in a very soothing tone, placing his hands on Paul’s shaky shoulders. Paul stared at Richard, almost lost in his friends brown eyes.
“I… I don’t know… where to- to begin.” Paul whispered, almost child-like.
“Perhaps the beginning would be the best place to start, Paul.” A new voice joined the quintet. Greg nearly jumped several feet in the air when he heard the person speak from behind. Paul, furiously wiping away his tears, blinked in surprise when he saw the speaker.
“St-Stephen?” Paul asked, trying to regain control of his emotions. Stephen Fry nodded, standing with his arms crossed and with an expression of concern on his face.
“How’d you-?” Caroline began to ask, but was cut off by Richard, who was helping Paul to his feet.
“I gave him a call. Greg gave me his number when we were trying to get help for…,” Richard explained, but stopped when he remembered why he had called Stephen beforehand. He almost winced when he saw Paul looking downcast after he nearly mentioned Tony’s name. Obviously, this whole thing was taking its toll on Paul, Richard noted, but he didn’t know how badly it was hurting his friend.
“Good to see you, Stephen. Wish it was under better circumstances.” Greg, meanwhile, greeted the tall man with a handshake.
“I agree, Gregory. But then again, this is an upsetting situation, so Paul,” Stephen nodded before turning back to face Paul, “Why don’t you start from the beginning and tell us what happened to Tony.” He told Paul.
Paul wiped away his tears before staring around the room at his friends and his wife. He knew that they needed to know, but thinking about what had happened was still heartbreaking for him to deal with. But they had to know.
“Alright, better get comfy, since I don’t know if I can…” Paul paused, looking down at his stained shirt, trying to calm down, “How much I can say without… Just, just sit down, ok?” Paul continued, fighting back the sorrow that kept trying to take over his emotions once more.
Once seated, Paul began telling them everything that had happened in the past twenty-four hours, from Greg and Josie telling him about Tony, the prophetic nightmare, the frantic search for Tony, finding him and alerting the hospital. The five listened in silence, letting all that Paul told them sink in. Once he was done, Paul finally looked at his friends to see how they were reacting to what he said.
Greg was frowning, massaging his temple, muttering a few choice swearwords under his breath. Josie and Caroline, both sitting on either side of Paul, were silent, staring at Paul, the latter looking more shocked than the former. Richard was also silent, eyes wide in surprise. Stephen was almost expressionless, but Paul could see the sadness in his eyes, hearing what happened to his old friend obviously displeasing him.
“I’m sorry, guys. If I had gone over sooner, maybe this wouldn’t have happened.” Paul apologized, looking away with a downcast look on his face.
“You didn’t know, darling. No one knew how bad he was… right?” Caroline spoke first, trying to comfort her still upset husband, looking over at Josie, then Greg, Richard, and Stephen.
“I knew something was wrong, but… shit, he really was using, was he?” Richard whispered, then spoke louder to confirm what was said was true. Paul just nodded slightly for his answer.
“I can’t believe I was right… using cocaine and all that shit, but… never thought he’d do that. Jesus.” Greg muttered, removing his hand from his head and rubbing his eyes that now seemed to have small tears forming in them.
“Oh, Paul. To see all that… and that nightmare. You know Greg and I would never blame you, right?” Josie soothed, placing a hand on Paul’s slightly shaky shoulder.
“Felt like you would… after all you and Greg said the other day…” Paul replied softly, trying to avoid eye contact with his friends and his wife.
“Don’t even think that, Paul. We’re all worried about Tony and what happened was not your fault!” Josie shook her head, rubbing his shoulder in encouragement.
“I think… I think I may know what is wrong with him.” Stephen finally spoke after being silent during Paul retelling of what happened. Everyone turned to stare at the tall gentleman.
“You do?” Caroline asked, brushing back a few wispy strands of hair out of her eyes.
“I think so, but I don’t know for sure. What Paul said, what all of you have told me about Tony’s actions… it almost sounded a bit like what I’ve went through.” Stephen went on.
“Wait, a-are you saying he’s bi-polar?” Greg exclaimed, shooting to his feet.
“Possibly, but it might not be exactly that. It maybe something similar, like just depression or mania.” Stephen replied.
“That could explain some things. His actions, his behaviour, the self-medication, all effects from it.” Richard nodded.
“So what do we do now?” Greg asked, his arms crossed in frustration.
“We wait.” Josie replied, grabbing a seat nearby.
“Wait?” Caroline repeated, questionably.
“Right.” Josie nodded.
“That’s the part I’ve always hated.” Greg muttered.
“Get use to it, Greg.” Richard glared, pulling the bespectacled American down in a chair next to him.
So they went back to the spots they were sitting when Paul told them what happened and waited for any news about their friend. Was he going to be ok? What was wrong with him? Does he need a transfusion? How were they going to tell his family; his parents, brothers and sister didn’t know yet.
Will he make it?
Several hours later, the sleepy and concerned group were awakened by the appearance of a young male doctor, who cleared his throat loudly.
“Are you the group waiting for news on a Mr. Anthony Slattery?” The doctor asked. Paul and Richard nearly shot to their feet quicker than Stephen, Caroline, Greg, or Josie.
“Y-yes, we’re the group, is-is he alright?” Paul replied, heart racing and worries and fear coursing through his blood. The doctor ran a hand through his chestnut brown hair, sighing.
“Well, he’s still unconscious, but we managed to stop his wrists from bleeding. He did need a small transfusion to replace the loss of blood, but thankfully Mr. Merton made those tourniquets helped slow the blood loss,” The doctor replied, briefly pausing where he noticed Greg nudging Paul, who told him “smooth move”, before continuing, “However, the reason why we didn’t tell you sooner was due to what Mr. Merton told us about Mr. Slattery’s actions.” The doctor continued.
“What’s wrong with him, doc?” Greg asked, getting impatient. He wanted to know what was wrong and if it was as Stephen feared.
“We’ve got him on de-tox for his cocaine and alcohol usage, but I’m afraid there are more problems under the surface.” The doctor went on.
“Like what?” Josie questioned, fidgeting with her hands.
“We believe the reason why he has been, as Mr. Merton said, “off-hinged” is due to bi-polar disorder.” The doctor replied.
“Damn it.” Stephen whispered, sitting back down with a frown on his face and a mix of anger and sadness in his eyes.
“Are you sure?” Richard asked, wondering if Stephen’s diagnosis was right.
“Unfortunately, yes. It’s a severe depression and we’re going to do what we can to help him. We’ve already called in a psychiatrist, one of the best here, to come in to check on him, he’ll be here by tomorrow at the latest.” The doctor promised.
“When can we see him? Where is he?” Richard asked, anxious to see his old friend, to see if he’s alright.
“Soon, once we know he’ll be completely alright. He’s recovering in room 27 at the moment.” The doctor replied.
“Thanks, doc.” Greg thanked, trying to act indifferent, but inside he was thanking the Lord, the heavens and any deity he could think of that Tony was ok.
“It’s the least I can do.” The doctor gave a small smile.
“Sh-shouldn’t we let his family know? His parents, at least?” Josie brought up, remembering about Tony’s family.
“Shit, do you think they know about what he’s done?” Richard wondered, taking Josie’s hand in his.
“They’re bound to find out sooner or later.” Caroline noted with a frown.
“I’ll ring them up. They at least know me.” Richard volunteered.
“Good idea.” Greg nodded. Stephen stood up and cleared his throat.
“Paul, we need to talk…” Stephen told the blue eyed brunet. Paul nodded, already dreading this conversation. He knew that they’d need to talk, especially if Greg had told him about Tony’s supposed feelings for Paul. He turned back to the small group.
“If anything comes up about…” Paul began.
“We’ll let you know.” Caroline finished, silencing him with a finger to his lips. Paul nodded and, after exchanging a kiss with Caroline, followed Stephen to the hallway on the other side of the big metal doors that separated the waiting room with the patient rooms. Both men, once in the hall, stood on either side of the hallway.
“….Well, what is it, Stephen?” Paul asked, a bit wary. Stephen was rubbing the bridge of his nose before he spoke.
“Paul, first I want to thank you for what you did this morning.” Stephen began, moving his hand from his face and dropping it at his side, both his hands resting palm first against the wall behind him.
“It was nothing, Stephen. I-I mean you’d do the same in my place. Hell, even Greg or Richard would’ve done the same, too. Tony’s our friend and he needed help.” Paul rambled.
“He cares about you. Tony, he really does, you know?” Stephen noted. Paul nodded.
“Y-yeah, I know. Greg told me that he has some feelings for me, something love related. I don’t know if it’s just a crush, friendship love, brotherly love, simple love or even ‘I want to shag your brains out’ love. If it’s just friendship or brotherly love, then it’s not a big problem, even if it’s a crush, too. If he love’s me as in true love or something like that, it may cause a problem since I’m a married man and who knows what he was thinking when he told Greg and Josie about his feelings. I mean, who knows if he was thinking clearly when he told them about-.” Paul went on, rambling off in a rant, while pacing back and forth, walking around in front of Stephen.
“How do you feel about him?” Stephen asked, interrupting Paul’s rant. Paul froze, slowly turning to face Stephen again.
“Excuse me?” Paul asked in response, trembling slightly.
“How do you feel about him?” Stephen asked again, staring intently at him. Paul troubled face was a mix of anxiety and confusion. He didn’t know how to answer Stephen’s question. He knew he liked Tony as a friend, but after all that’s happened in the past twenty-four hours he wasn’t sure.
“I… I don’t… I don’t know.” Paul whispered, unsure over what he could say. He honestly didn’t know how to answer.
“You ‘don’t know’?” Stephen asked, repeating what Paul said in amazement. Paul shook his head, mouth open slightly.
“I’m sorry.” Paul whispered, turning away and ran down the hall away from a surprised Stephen and the waiting room. He kept running, fighting back his already confusing emotions. His mind was full of questions. Ranging from “how do I feel about Tony?” to “what can I do now?”. One particular one kept ringing through his head.
How could this have happened?
He finally stopped, realizing where he was. He was right near Tony’s room. Looking around, he found the room and entered it as quickly as possible.
Paul slammed the door behind him, catching his breath. Rubbing his tired, red eyes, he looked at the only occupant in the room.
Tony was sleeping on the bed, his wrists were bandaged, blood seeping slowly through the white strips of gauze. He was hooked up to an IV drip and a heart monitor. Paul still couldn’t get past how pale he was, or the dark shadows under his closed eyes. He was almost unrecognizable, but Paul knew it was him. He made his way towards the bed, listening to the monotonous beeping of the heart machine. He was fighting back lost sleep and unshed tears, but both were slowly breaking through his deadpan exterior. Everything that happened that morning seemed so surreal, like out of a dream…
The images from the nightmare still haunted him, but what was worse was that it almost came true. If he had been five minutes late, an hour, two, three, a day…
Pulling a nearby chair over and sitting on it, he glanced back down at Tony, who still remained sleeping. He looked almost peaceful, as if nothing was wrong with him despite the obvious bandages around his wrists, and the IV drip and heart monitor he was attached to. Paul placed a shaky hand on Tony’s still one, gripping it tightly.
“I don’t know if you can here me, but… I’m right here, Tony… so don’t you dare give up on us…because I’m not leaving you until I know you’re gonna be ok…. You got that Tony? I’m not going anywhere…” He promised. There was no response, as Paul expected. He pulled the chair closer, and leaned off the chair, resting his head, arms and chest on the bed. Sleep finally claimed Paul, his hand never letting go of Tony’s.
Three More Parts after this and in a few months, probably, I'll start posting "Truly, Madly, Deeply", so read and review.