SSS 2011: FOR WYKEDPANDA
For: wykedpanda
From: Your Secret Santa
Title: I Hope You Don't Mind
Pairing: Jonghyun/Key
Rating: PG-13
Wordcount: 5,580
Summary: When his best friend finally lands a date with the girl of his dreams, Kim Kibum began to develop feelings he didn't want to deal with. Heavily based on Some Kind of Wonderful.
I didn’t have to look up to know that it was him shaking my shoulders in an attempt to wake me up from my afternoon nap. I buried my head my head inside my folded arms, like that would drown out Jjong’s obnoxious Rise and shine, Kibummie!
I heaved my head up and gave him a look. In fact, I stared at him for a long time like I dared him to speak.
“Guess what,” he said anyway. I groaned when I saw him help himself to the nearest empty desk before he went on. “I asked Se Kyung out on a date. We’re going to the noraebang, Kibummie.”
For some reason, the way Jjong said the word noraebang bothered me. It was weird. Jjong would turn down invitations from his classmates in favor of waiting outside my classroom every Friday after classes so we could sing ourselves silly until night. It was weird to think that Jjong would take a girl on a date there, of all places.
“You okay, Kibummie?”
“Huh? Oh - yeah, I’m fine.”
“…And I used her pen - it’s a Hello Kitty pen, Kibummie! You know how I feel about Hello Kitty,” I knew that. “So I wrote her a note.”
“So you asked her to, what, go out with you through a sheet of paper?” I asked, to humor him. I wanted to go back to sleep.
“I did,” Jonghyun said. It took me a moment to realize Jjong was being completely serious. I nodded, and Jjong took it as a sign for him to continue. It was wrong, but I thought I could hear my sardonic laughter in my head. “She checked yes, and we arranged it to fit her schedule. She’s into so many things, Kibummie! She’s in the math club, a writer for the school paper, in the dance troupe - and get this, she’s playing the lead for our school play!”
“Amazing.”
“I know,” Jjong echoed. “And I don’t know what to do! It’s on Saturday, Kibummie! Saturday.”
I sniffed. “We were supposed to go gift shopping on Saturday.”
“We were?” I imagined the rusty cogs turning inside Jjong’s brain, the teeth interlocking until - “I’m so sorry, Kibummie! It honestly slipped my mind. It’s just… Can you believe it? Se Kyung actually agreed to go out with someone like me!”
“Mm,” I mumbled. I slumped into my seat. I wondered if this was some sort of joke, so I decided to make a joke of my own as well. “Don’t sell yourself short, maybe she’s into bestiality.”
Except it wasn’t funny at all. I wanted to smack myself until it hurt, because I was pretty sure Jjong was hurt. He laughed. “Yeah - I, yeah,” Jjong said quietly. He smiled lopsidedly. “But that doesn’t mean it’s impossible, right? Maybe she’ll, I don’t know, like me.”
“I guess,” I said, after a beat.
That scared me and I didn’t know why.
“Rise and shine, Kibummie!”
“Hngh,” I grumbled. I nuzzled the pillow with my cheek until something felt different. It was… chilly. I opened my eyes woozily and saw Jjong with my blanket. Out of instinct, I sat up straight and pulled a pillow over my lap. “How did you get in here?”
“What are you hiding there?” The grin on Jjong’s face made my blood boil, and like he didn’t understand the boundary of personal space, he inched closer to me.
“Grow up,” I said. The pillow was still on my lap. “To what do I owe this honor?” I was hardly pleased.
That was when Jonghyun’s ever-confident grin crumpled into a face of utter despair. “It’s Saturday,” he said. No shit. Jonghyun sighed, like I couldn’t get it. “It’s Saturday. I have a date with Se Kyung today.”
Oh.
“God, what if she hates me or thinks I’m crazy and she won’t…” Jjong’s words sounded more garbled than anything, but I nod anyway. I knew he couldn’t help it. “Kibummie!”
“You’re going to be fine,” I said.
“But I don’t know what to do! You know that the last time I went out with a girl was during our middle school dance-” I looked at Jjong. “-And fine, that wasn’t free. And don’t smile like that, it’s not helping!”
The tips of my lips twitched into a smile before I doubled over, clutching my stomach as I cackled loudly until my insides hurt. Jjong gave me a look. In fact, he stared pleadingly at me like some sort of puppy. “I’m sorry,” I said. I wiped the tears from my eyes.
“I just don’t know what to do,” Jjong said. “How does this whole thing work? I wish I knew how… like I could practice it, or something…”
“You want to practice your date with Se Kyung?” I asked. I wanted to laugh until I realized Jjong was serious. I took a deep breath. “Hold on, okay - fine. Pretend I’m her.”
“What?” Now he was the one who looked like he would laugh any moment now.
“Pretend I’m Se Kyung,” I said. I tucked an imaginary lock of hair behind my ears as I fluttered my eyelashes for effect. It was time to unleash my inner seductress… I read too much Cosmopolitan.
“Well, Se Kyung,” Jjong said. His voice suddenly sounded different from the way he would talk to me. I stiffened when I felt him wrap an arm around my waist in a far too intimate manner than what I'm used to. “Do you want to hear me sing?”
It took me a moment to regain consciousness. Jjong was good at this. I opened my mouth. “I’d love to, Jonghyun-oppa,” I said in a high-pitched voice without thinking. I let out a girlish giggle when Jonghyun gave me a look. I made it a point to slap his thigh as I giggled - in the same manner a flirty teenaged girl would, except with more pain.
I found myself mouthing along to the lyrics of a familiar ballad Jjong was singing. Se Kyung would like this. I didn’t know if the thought pleased me more or confused me - but I was enjoying this more than I should.
“Eyes up here, pervert,” I said. I narrowed my eyes at Jjong who laughed. I scoffed, before I covered my non-existent cleavage. Our eyes locked for a moment before Jjong mustered out a disjointed I’m sorry in between fits of laughter.
I almost choked on my spit when Jjong pressed a grabby hand against my chest. I backed away, only to feel the hard wall behind me.
“What the hell was that for?” I asked. I rolled my eyes. “But… it looks like you know how to act decently around a girl. Keep your hands to yourself and you’ll do fine,” I said. He grinned.
“Except for one small thing,” I added.
“What?”
I smirked. I opened my mouth. “Don’t think I’m being weird, but… what if Se Kyung wants you to kiss her? She’s not going to be swept off by your amateur lips, you know.”
“Gee, thanks.”
“I’m just saying. You should plan it out, you know?” Words spilled from my mouth before I knew it. I couldn’t stop. “We’ve gone far enough, so why not? All you have to do is pretend I’m her, Jjong.”
For a moment, I thought Jonghyun would scoot away and say something like No, that’s gay, Kibummie, but Jonghyun only chuckled. “All right - I mean, if you say so,” he said. He touched me again. “You’d make a pretty girl anyway.”
I was about to open my mouth in protest when Jjong suddenly pressed his mouth against mine, like he was trying to muffle me or something. I waited for some sort of movement, but he only stayed still. I shoved him away. “What the hell was that?”
Jjong blinked. “A kiss?”
“That’s not how you’re supposed to do it,” I said. I wiped my lips with the back of my hand and coughed for good measure. “You know where your arms are supposed to go when you kiss her, right?”
“It depends, I guess?”
“Nope,” I said. Before he can say anything, I guided his hand towards my hip. “You put your hand here and - yeah, you got it. Now she’d probably do this,” I said. I wrapped my arms around Jonghyun’s neck.
“Whoa, whoa - wait,” Jjong spluttered. He pulled away. “How do you even know all this?”
“I watch a lot of TV,” was my eloquent reply. I looked at him and nodded. “Now close your eyes.”
Instead of closing his eyes, I felt Jjong staring at my lips instead. I swallowed. This was weird. When he looked into my eyes, he began to laugh. I didn’t know why, but I felt violated.
I narrowed my eyes at him. “I don’t have to do this, you know,” but I made no move to pull away. “I’m not the one who’s going to make a fool out of myself with my gloriously inexperienced lips in front of the girl of my dreams.”
“Sorry,” Jjong said. He smiled crookedly before he fixed his hand on my hip again. I was in my boxers. I let out a shaky breath when Jjong began to run his fingers along the side of my neck. He began to trace, small hazy patterns below my ears, like he was trying to ease his own nerves rather than mine.
“You sure?” he asked. There was an unreadable expression on his face. I nodded without thinking, and his lips were against mine.
I felt him plant small, quick kisses over my lips, parting his own gradually as he went on. I felt my mouth drop into a small ‘oh’ when he nibbled on my bottom lip, like he was trying to ease it open, and I was so ready for it, ready for -
He pulled away like a damn tease.
I made a small, whining sound without realizing it. I covered my mouth. Jjong took my hand and chuckled, his breath tickling my lips. I found myself responding when he began to kiss me again, letting his tongue curl against mine every so often.
Without thinking, I fisted a tuft of his hair and pulled him closer. I could have sworn I felt his lips curve into a smile when he did… that. It felt good. I trembled before I found myself pressing against him harder, wanting to feel everything from his mouth to the heat against my boxers -
I shoved him away.
“Whoa, I’m sorry,” Jjong said. He was panting. There was a stupid grin on his face. “I - oh my god, Kibummie. That was… wow.” He was leaning towards me again expectantly.
“Lesson’s over, Jjong,” I said. My voice sounded rougher than how I wanted it to sound. The pillow over my lap was gone. I pulled a new pillow over it before Jjong out could notice. “Now get out.”
“You’re blushing!”
He sounded pleased. I subtly felt my cheeks with my hands, only to realize with a start that it was true. Still -
“Am not,” I said articulately. I looked at the pillow on my lap. “Way to thank me after everything I did for you,” I said. I buried myself inside the safe, dark cavity of my blanket and pretended I couldn’t hear him.
“Kibummie.”
He knew I could.
“I’ll call you later,” Jjong promised.
When I heard the door slam shut a moment later, I suddenly realized how messed up this was. I just made out with my straight, male best friend, and I liked it.
“Kibummie!”
I stopped on my tracks and turned around. Jjong’s hands were on his knees. He was out of breath and it took him longer than a minute to walk over towards me. He brushed the unkempt mop of hair off his face when he reached me.
“Everything was so incredibly amazing,” Jjong gushed. He looked like Santa gave him the one thing he wanted for Christmas, and I figured he might as well have. “She’s so pretty and I - I’m so glad we went to the mall that day, Kibummie! We sang lots of duets then before we left, I sang Nothing Better to her!”
I began to walk faster to keep up with Jjong’s increasing pace. I found myself nodding absentmindedly to whatever he was saying, because I didn’t want to hear about their date. I didn’t know why.
“…And you know how you said your Christmas is so boring, right?” Jonghyun asked. I nodded, urging him to go on. “I was thinking - since I want you to have the best Christmas ever, why don’t we join the annual talent show? We can do a duet, Kibummie!”
“No, thanks,” I said when I reached my locker. I gathered my books and slammed the door shut without locking it.
“But Kibummie,” Jjong pleaded. He was like that puppy I ran into during our walks home. It had the same look on its face whenever I was with a burger or anything remotely edible. “You don’t understand, I need to do this! I’ll do anything, Kibummie!”
“Why do you want to join, anyway?”
Jjong laughed. He looked like he was about to open his mouth until his eyes flashed with something like recognition. He shrugged instead, shuffling his feet as he looked at the floor suspiciously.
There.
Se Kyung was talking to their teacher about something, shifting her weight foot to foot. She was pretty in the way she could make anyone take a second look at her with her curved waist and toned legs. She had the pale skin and full, red lips I knew Jjong liked in girls.
I scoffed. “Really, Jjong? Really?”
“Se Kyung-ah!”
Jjong was making weird gestures while he talked and Se Kyung laughed. She began to talk, and Jjong nodded more than three times after every pause, like what she had to say was really important.
“Yeah,” Jjong laughed. He scratched the back of his head and smiled at her through his fringe. “Kibummie and I are actually planning to join the talent show. You know, just for fun. Right, Kibummie?”
What?
He couldn’t be serious, but I caught the look Jjong gave me. “Yup,” I said.
“You guys are cute,” Se Kyung giggled. I didn’t like being called cute, but she sounded like she was actually being nice. I found myself smiling back at Se Kyung until I saw her batting her eyelashes of Jonghyun a tick later. Jjong grinned harder.
“I should go,” I said. I grabbed my books and left for my classes.
We used to walk to school and back together, until we didn’t.
That was when I began to notice how long the walk really was without Jjong’s constant chatter and raucous laughter ringing in my ears. I began to think of things I didn’t want to talk about, like the math worksheets I have to answer and Christmas without my parents or grandmother.
I wondered if I really did look pathetic enough for Choi Minho to actually pay attention to me and give me a pat on the back one time in lunch. I tried to smile at Minho so he could leave, but he had his hand stretched out.
I gave him my lunch money.
I didn’t expect to see Jjong waiting outside my house.
“Hey,” he stared at his sneakers for a long time. He did a small nod at me, the kind where he wasn’t sure whether I would return his nod or not. I nodded back.
“Hey, yourself,” I said. I smiled… and smiled some more, because I didn’t know what to say. It really was a long time since we last talked.
“So,” he said. He rain his hands through his hair in a too-casual manner. He shoved his hands inside the pockets of his jeans, and I could see him clench and unclench them nervously. I waited for him to say something but he laughed instead.
“Long time, no see, huh.”
I tried to think of something witty to say that can make him laugh, but all that came out was a quiet I know.
“So the talent show,” Jjong began. As he looked at the path ahead of us, I began to realize why he began talking to me again. Not cool. “I’m going to do this on my own.”
“That’s great.”
“But…” he had a sickeningly huge grin on his face. I bit back the satirical snicker that was rising in my throat. I knew what was coming next. “I need your help here, Kibummie. I… need practice. I’m going to sing a love song to her. I love her.”
“No way.”
“I… want to be serious,” he said. He looked up with a huge grin, his eyes shining with something I saw far too often. “We’re already dating, you know. It’s just… I want her to know I’m serious, about everything. Maybe she does. You know. Love me back, Kibummie.”
The crazy thing was that I could understand why Se Kyung would fall for Jjong.
“I already have a song,” Jjong said. “It’s in English, but the lyrics are easy enough to remember.” He looked all gooey at me. I flinched when he started to touch me, like he was going to kiss me.
“Yours are the sweetest eyes I’ve ever seen.”
I fought down a shiver when I felt his breath tickle my left ear. I swallowed - “Hey, we’re late!” I ran like the way I did before when things were simple. I dared the short-legged freak to catch up with me.
There was sheet music stacked neatly over the music rack of Jjong’s electric keyboard, and the socks than hung on his bedposts were still there. If I looked higher, I could see the Almighty Wall - that was what Jjong insists of calling it. It was a wall with pictures of everything, mostly of us. There were pictures of Jjong and Se Kyung, though. Wonder where those come from.
“It didn’t change that much,” I said. I laid my back over a bare area on the floor that didn’t exist until I picked up Jjong’s dirty laundry and placed them in the hamper. I plopped myself down on his bed, squirming against the sheets. He laughed.
“You know it’s only been a week, Kibummie,” Jjong said. He talked like he thought he was the more mature one of us. He shoved his textbooks to the floor before he fished around the cracks of his bed. He pulled out a sheet of paper. “So,” he said. “Do I start now?”
“Why are you so worked up… Jonghyun-oppa?” I asked. I snickered when I saw Jjong give me a helpless look. I waved my hand offhandedly. “Go.”
Jjong opened his mouth -
“Kibummie! It’s scary - what if she doesn’t like it and breaks up with me because I’m-”
“Aw.”
Jjong looked like he was about to say something but he closed his eyes instead.
When his voice began to resound throughout the room, I felt like I had to hide underneath the blankets. I was starting to regret my decision when Jjong pulled his blanket away from me. He was grinning. I snorted.
I could pretend I was Se Kyung, like I was supposed to during mine and Jjong’s “date” but there was a problem. It sounded crazy but somewhere in between Jjong singing to me, I stopped thinking of how Se Kyung would act, but how I felt at that moment. And that bothered me. I wanted to gather my thoughts, organize them and shove them so far away I wouldn’t have to think of it all.
“What do you think,” Jjong said. He wasn’t looking at me.
“Wow - Jjong,” I said. I wanted to take it back. I sounded out of breath for some reason. It was weird. “She’d be crazy not to love you,” I said.
The funny thing was that I felt like I was more honest to myself at that moment than was in a while.
“You think?”
“Yup.”
Jjong smiled. “Hey,” he said. He wormed his way beside me. The room suddenly felt smaller than it was. I felt trapped. He was looking at me. “I’m sorry I don’t have enough time for us lately.”
“It’s okay.”
“I guess you always hurt the ones you love, right?”
I felt my heart stop for a moment. He was still looking at me. Before things could get weirder, I threw a punch at Jjong’s arm and grinned. “So when are you going to beat Se Kyung up?”
Jjong’s face was unreadable. I could imagine my eyes widening comically as I realized what I just said.
“Just kidding,” I said. I squeezed Jjong’s shoulder until he began to shake. I pulled my hand away. He was laughing. We were friends. We were cool. “But seriously,” Jjong said. “I love Se Kyung. Got it?”
“Got it,” I said. I didn’t know what else to say.
There was silence until Jjong opened his mouth. He was grinning. “So you want to go to the noraebang together tomorrow?” he asked. “We haven’t been there in ages.”
“I…” I racked my mind for an excuse. I couldn’t think of one. “Sure, Jjong.”
Jjong was sitting inside our usual booth with Se Kyung in his arms. She was giggling.
“Hey, Jjong, Se Kyung-sshi,” I said, suddenly feeling shy. I did a small, polite bow.
“Aw, Kibummie is so shy,” Jjong said. Before I knew it, his arms were off Se Kyung and he already stalked his way over to me. He wrapped his arms around my waist, like he hadn’t seen each other in a long time. I frowned.
“Hands off,” I said. I pried his hands away from me and gave Se Kyung an apologetic smile. She smiled back at me.
“I miss you so much,” Jjong said. He looked at me like I was the only one in the room, but then he looked at Se Kyung with a soft smile before he let go of me to wrap an arm around her to help her up. “I know you both probably know each other, but… Se-Kyung, this is Kibummie. Kibummie, meet Se Kyung.”
My frown was barely indistinguishable from a scowl, but for some reason, no one seemed to notice. “It’s nice to finally meet Kibummie,” Se Kyung said.
“Kibummie?” I repeated. My brows scrunched up in confusion. “All right,” I said. I hoped I sounded like I didn’t care as much as I did. “What did Jjong say now?”
“Nothing bad, definitely,” she promised. I smirked in what I hoped looked like I was confident. I urged her to go on. “Hyun-ah, talks about you all the time,” Se Kyung said. She laughed. “I’m almost jealous.”
Oh, did he?
“Yah,” Jjong suddenly says. I didn’t know why he was being so… touchy lately. He was wrapping himself around my waist while he nuzzled my neck. And what, was he smelling my shampoo?
“We should sing a duet,” Jjong said suddenly. He made it a point to look at Se Kyung when he chose an upbeat love song. My heat hurt. What was he trying to do? I sighed.
“You all right, Kibum-sshi?”
“Oh yeah,” I said. I faked a look at my wrist. “Gee, isn’t it late. I have to go.” Jonghyun and Se Kyung look at me with wide eyes. I only arrived a few minutes ago. “We should do that again soon,” I said. I didn’t mean it.
“Sure, Kibummie,” Jjong said. He didn’t even look at me. Even when I was a considerable distance away, I heard Jjong talk through the microphone. “I have a song for you,” and then some Christmas jingle.
He knew I never wore watches.
When I got home, the first thing I did was to look at the mirror.
There was no way to deny that my features were sharper than how a woman’s was supposed to be. My eyebrows were thick, thicker than most people my age were supposed to be. My eyes were sharp. The only thing that was feminine were my lips. They were pink and shaped… They looked better than Se Kyung’s.
Then I stopped.
I felt stupid. All my life, I never wanted to be anything else but myself, but when I saw Jjong with Se Kyung a while ago, I wanted to be different. And that scared me.
I wanted to be different in the way Jjong sang to me - well, he did. I wanted to go on dates to him in the noraebang and I wanted him to talk to school and back. It was ridiculous. We used to do those things together, but I only started to care now.
He also wasn’t a bad kisser.
I wasn’t stupid. I wasn’t going to wonder why I was thinking this way, but I’d be damned if I keep it in any longer. I’m attracted to Jjong, and if I were more honest, I would say there was a possibility I might be more… emotionally invested with him than I was supposed to be.
I slinked down onto my bed. I found myself humming to the tune of I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus, except in my mind, the words were I saw Jonghyun kissing Shin Se Kyung.
Did I like to torture myself that much?
I was squirming in my bed when the door creaked open.
It was him.
I pulled my blanket around myself out of instinct, like it’s some sort of shield. It was only a few minutes ago when I came into terms with my feelings for Jjong, and now he was in my room.
This had to be a dream.
“What was that back there?” Jjong asked. “You left all of a sudden.”
“What?”
“Why did you leave?” he had a frown on his face. I sucked in a deep breath.
“I…” I paused. I thought of what to say in the easiest way I could. “I’d rather leave and have you miss me… than to stay and have you hate me.” I said cautiously. Maybe Jjong didn’t understand me yet. “What I mean is. I have feelings. Feelings that I only came to terms with, um, a few minutes ago.”
“I don’t understand,” Jjong’s voice had a hard edge to it that I never heard before. I didn’t know what to do. I opened my mouth to explain -
I love you was what came out instead.
Jonghyun didn’t say anything.
“I hate that I want to be someone else… someone better when I’m with you,” I said without thinking. Now that I began, I felt like there was nothing left for me to go on. The feeling in my chest was getting lighter and after I felt like I said everything I had to say, I stopped.
When I looked at Jjong, his face was eerily pale. His hand covered his mouth. He gulped painfully after a moment, before he wiped his hand over his jeans.
His mouth was wet with something.
I saw bile.
“Kibum-”
I could take it all back and say everything was a joke. Sure, it would put a strain on their friendship, but it wasn’t like there wasn’t already one to begin with.
“Leave,” I said instead.
When Jjong left my room without a word, I felt hot tears slip out of my eyes. This was all a mess. I couldn’t keep my mouth shut.
I was pathetic.
It was six days since Jjong last talked. I came down with a fever and by the time I was well again the Christmas break already began.
I was about to turn my laptop on when the cleaning lady knocked on my bedroom door. She stuck her small head in and smiled at me. “I don’t know what happened,” she said. She paused for effect. “But your grandmother is here and she’s downstairs?”
“’Ma’s here?” I asked. I rubbed my eyes with my hand. “I’m coming down, wait.”
The lady nodded before she descended the stairs. She left my bedroom door open for me to follow her. When I got down, I felt my jaw draw.
It was like I was in a completely different place. The usually cramped living room was cleared, and I noticed how white the couch actually was. There were blue throw pillows over it, and huge, blue stockings hanged over the wall. It made me feel excited, because even though it always snowed, it wasn’t much.
For the first time in weeks, I was grinning silly.
“You like it?”
“’Ma!” I found himself hugged by my grandmother. When she pulled away, she smiled and pinched my cheeks. “Key! …Oh, this is new. Why isn’t that nice boy Jonghyun here?”
I scowled.
“Did I say something wrong?” she asked, but she had a smile on her face. She knew she did. I was about to say something when the doorbell rang.
“You should answer it,” she said, before she ushered the cleaning lady with her to the kitchen. I rolled my eyes before I groggily walked towards the front door. I pulled the door open with hesitation.
“-We wish you a merry Christmas! We wish you a merry Christmas! We wish you a merry Christmas, a happy New Year!”
There were… children in front of my house. There was this fat boy and then there was this really skinny girl next to him with a tambourine. I didn’t have the time for this.
“Jinki-hyung,” the thin… boy said. But the kid really did look like a girl next to the the Jinki kid. He tugged on the older boy's scarf. “I think the ahjussi looks like he’s going to be sick… Jinki-hyung, do something.”
Tubby Jinki look at me. His mouth hangs open pathetically and before I can threaten them to leave lest they wanted to be snow balled, Tubby Jinki screeched something that sounded like what do I do - um oh my god Minho-hyung help!
“Kibum? I didn’t know you live here.”
“Hey, Minho,” I said. “They’re your siblings?”
“Nope,” Minho said. He pulled the boys towards him and ruffled their hair. There was a huge, goofy grin on his face and I feel my lips almost tug into a smile. “Jinki and Taeminnie… They’re Donghae-hyung’s nephews. He’s going to meet up with us later.”
“Oh,” I said. Of course, they were Donghae-hyung’s nephews. Minho would do anything for Donghae-hyung. I wanted to laugh.
“Yeah,” Minho said. He looked like he wanted to continue this conversation as much I did (which was, to say, not at all) but he didn’t move. I understood. That greedy bastard. “Wait,” I said. I went into the house and got some lose change from the corners of the couch. I shoved the coins on the thin boy’s hands. “There.”
“Merry Christmas and thank you so much, Kibum-hyung!” the two boys said. They were looking at the money.
I slammed the door shut.
After Christmas
After I had my bowl of cereal, I took a look at the clock. It was seven in the morning. It was time for me to wait for my bus when a Kia Cadenza pulled over. The windows rolled down and Minho sat. I didn’t know he had a driver’s license.
Maybe he didn’t.
I assumed he wasn’t talking to me, so I stood. I began to whistle and pretend that I never saw the car when suddenly the horn honked. I pulled a hand to my ear. That was loud.
“Get in,” Minho said.
I opened the door and hopped in. Before I could ask Minho if it was legal for him to drive, we were already blocks away and on our way to school.
Minho was actually good company. I wasn’t exactly sure why he hanged out with me, but it wasn’t bad. Every morning, he would wait for me outside my house and take me to school. His friends weren’t bad either. They were a lot older than us, but it was all cool.
“Hey,” Jjong said when he passed by our table. There was a moment of silence and I could tell everyone was looking at him. But he was looking at me. “Can I - borrow Kibum for a moment? It won’t be long.”
Minho looked like he wanted to say something, but I patted his shoulder and crossed my arms. I look at Jjong. He has a guitar with him. “What is it,” I said. I didn’t get up from my seat.
Instead of talking, a familiar melody began to wrap itself around me. Jonghyun was strumming his guitar nervously. When he opened his mouth, I realized that it was the same song he was supposed to sing to Se Kyung for the talent show. Something I didn’t even know was beginning to form in my mind, and all I could do was to press my hand nervously against my chest.
“What was that for?”
“I’ve been thinking, too,” Jjong said. If it wasn’t what I thought it was, I wondered if it was all right for me to give a kick to his face with my fist. “I feel the same way.”
He said it.
He said it.
He said it.
But I didn’t know what to say.
“That’s so gay,” I heard Donghae-hyung say beside me. “Freaks,” Minho echoed. There were murmurs of agreement.
But they were smiling.