Beasiesgal Arc

[shimmer712]

Based on Beasiesgal's First Encounters Comic!

The First Meeting

It was an accident. He didn’t mean for it to happen. It just did. It wasn’t his fault.

He never intended to fall in love.

It had started innocently enough.

It was after his sensei had sacrificed himself to save the village from the Kyuubi no Kitsune. Konoha was finally beginning to

Comments

[allyoucaneater]

is this a oneshot? *points at tags*
because if it is *pouts*

[allyoucaneater]

It can be seen as a one shot. I'm planning on writing a series of fics for Beasiesgal's girl Iruka.

[allyoucaneater]

oh goodie! :D

[kiterie]

So cute! I love reading a fic for the super cute comic and hope you continue it as she continues with the comic.

You should smile more often” he told him. (should be her not him)
This may sound wierd but I would drop the first description or change it. It's not really neccessary since you mention what she's wearing a couple paragraphs later but a change in the phrasing may be the best option. It almost reads too... formally. And I'd probably rephrase - She moved from in front of the stone to a space to his left. He caught sight of a dolphin on the back of her shirt. - as As she moved from in front of the stone to the space beside him, he caught sight of a dolphin on the back of her shirt.

[kiterie]

Thanks for the suggestions. I'm not too good with descriptions and I didn't notice that typo! I'll try to fix it!

[kiterie]

yeah a lot of people have trouble with descriptions but think of how many times you read a straightforward description in a book?

[beasiesgal]

*shiver* @w@;; eee I've been waiting for this...hehe you helped me with my next page for the comics >;3 I'll try to upload a new one soon for you hehe @w@ I can't wait for mores >w

[allyoucaneater]

Yay moar pages!! :D *busybody :P*

[shimmer712]

Glad to be of service! I'm writing a series of fics based on your girl Iruka. They're all gonna be under the title Beasiesgal Arc. Yes, I'm plugging your work for you. If you wanna take any of the fics I come up with for comics, go ahead. I mean you did give permission to write a fic for your comic so it's only fair, right?

[aidannwn]

I was throwing a coin to find out whether I should write a full comment or not. Then I though, what the heck.

Firstly, I love the strat. I don't usually read girl Iruka but this was rather sweet. I had to go and read the beasiesgal's doujinshi so to speak and came back and read this.

While the pictures convey a lot, you've managed to put in more emotions with the words. The flower meaning was rather nice touch.

It's just that I've noticed that you've written countless fics (chapters and no one's ppinted this out to you so should I....

converstion punctuation.

[demondreams]

i have nothing deep or meaningful to say other than awwwwwwww

your flower research, can you recomend any good websites or books? cause I can never find any good ones
cord-chan

[shimmer712]

Try these websites
http://www.flowersociety.com/flower-meanings.html
http://www.iflorist.com/en/act/meaning/
http://www.aboutflowers.com/floral_b5.html
http://marriage.about.com/od/flowers/a/flowermean.htm
http://www.easyflowers.com.au/asp/meaning.asp

or go to a search engine site like google and type flower meanings in the search bar. ^_^

As for books, no I can't recommend any, sorry

[demondreams]

thanky much!
cord-chan who often lacks the patience to wade through dozens and dozens and hundreds of websites to find the good ones