How we said goodbye
HI LOVELIES~ IM SNEAKING BACK TO LJ EVEN WHEN I SHOULD BE WRITING AN ESSAY, BECAUSE I MISS YOU ALL TOO MUCH!!! I HOPE ALL IS WELL WITH EVERYONE :) okays if you're reading this, you'll probably know of my current INSANE obession with kyuhan and quite a few of you have remarked on how i NEVER write "my actual OTP" anymore~ lol anyways to all you shihan lovers, here have some angsty shihan...
this is especially for lady_mizera who i promised a shihan a long long time ago...
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How we said Goodbye
I’ve already forgotten how we said goodbye.
It was at the airport.
The people walking all around us and the sounds of blarring announcements and the swirl of luggage wheels. There were loud tears and hugs that never ended and nagging reminders to call every night and forced bravado as you walked away with a backward wave.
You took all of my well wishes with you.
It was in the dorms.
There’s loud music and tables laden with food and there are bottles scattered all over the floor. You’re dancing on the table with Donghae and Kyuhyun of all people and there’s laughter everywhere and the occasional yelps and we party till we lose our voices and everyone is smiling even when we’re celebrating the beginning of an end, of something no one wants, not even you.
You took all of my dreams with you.
It was in bed beside each other.
We’re holding hands in the darkness and I can hear the pain in your voice as you tell me you’re leaving. There’s something caught in your throat, because you can’t get the words out even when you’re speaking Chinese and there’s something blocking my ears, because even when you switch to Korean, I still don’t understand. We both stop trying and just lay there, waiting for whatever shall come.
You took all of my love with you.
It was as we were making love.
You are clinging onto me like your life depends on it and there’s a desperation in both of our movements and I push myself deeper and deeper until we feel like one, yet I’m holding onto you like you’re glass. You gasp against my ear and I’m panting against your shoulders and it feels so perfect that it hurts. I wrap you in my arms and I burn the sensation of your skin into my heart, because I know you won’t be there when I wake up.
You took all of my life with you
It was never.
You’re still here when I’m sleeping, curled up beside me and I want you to eat more, because you hardly make the bed dip when you climb in each night. You’re still here when I dance and you’re close enough for me to reach out and run my hand against your hip, but I don’t, because I know what that feels like and I don’t want to feel the change; any change.
We never said goodbye.
You took all of me with you.
//
<3
this is especially for lady_mizera who i promised a shihan a long long time ago...
*******************************
How we said Goodbye
I’ve already forgotten how we said goodbye.
It was at the airport.
The people walking all around us and the sounds of blarring announcements and the swirl of luggage wheels. There were loud tears and hugs that never ended and nagging reminders to call every night and forced bravado as you walked away with a backward wave.
You took all of my well wishes with you.
It was in the dorms.
There’s loud music and tables laden with food and there are bottles scattered all over the floor. You’re dancing on the table with Donghae and Kyuhyun of all people and there’s laughter everywhere and the occasional yelps and we party till we lose our voices and everyone is smiling even when we’re celebrating the beginning of an end, of something no one wants, not even you.
You took all of my dreams with you.
It was in bed beside each other.
We’re holding hands in the darkness and I can hear the pain in your voice as you tell me you’re leaving. There’s something caught in your throat, because you can’t get the words out even when you’re speaking Chinese and there’s something blocking my ears, because even when you switch to Korean, I still don’t understand. We both stop trying and just lay there, waiting for whatever shall come.
You took all of my love with you.
It was as we were making love.
You are clinging onto me like your life depends on it and there’s a desperation in both of our movements and I push myself deeper and deeper until we feel like one, yet I’m holding onto you like you’re glass. You gasp against my ear and I’m panting against your shoulders and it feels so perfect that it hurts. I wrap you in my arms and I burn the sensation of your skin into my heart, because I know you won’t be there when I wake up.
You took all of my life with you
It was never.
You’re still here when I’m sleeping, curled up beside me and I want you to eat more, because you hardly make the bed dip when you climb in each night. You’re still here when I dance and you’re close enough for me to reach out and run my hand against your hip, but I don’t, because I know what that feels like and I don’t want to feel the change; any change.
We never said goodbye.
You took all of me with you.
//
<3