Fic: Driving Lesson (1/1)

[sherlockiangirl]

"Sherlock, this is a car."

"I know what a car is, John."

"And this is a lonely stretch of country road."

"I can see that, John."

"And this is the device that will save my life."

"A giant pillow strapped to your chest?"

"Precisely."

"Your confidence in my driving skills is positively heartwarming."

"As long as it doesn't kill me in the process."

Comments

[caffienekitty]

Bwahahahaah! Oh yes, crack indeed! :-D

[stupid_drawings]

L. O. L.
Sherlock would swerve for squirrels. My cousin does that, trying to kill as many as possible.
You get extra points for old ladies if you can make them throw their canes or walkers! Otherwise they're not worth much because they are slow. Kids are worth a lot more.

[sezso]

I hit an armadillo once. Do I get points for rarity?

[stupid_drawings]

It depends on where you live. If you like in 'dillo country (I don't know if this actually exists) then no, but if you live somewhere that you've never seen one as roadkill before, yes.
You get more points for bigger animals if you and your vehicle survive. If you hit a moose, you automatically both win AND lose. Clipping a biker with your side mirror gets extra points if you knock him off his bike. Hipsters are also extra points, especially if they have hair covering one of their eyes because, man, they're asking for it.

[sezso]

I was pretty traumatized but ultimately curious about what the HELL I'd just hit (I'm in Pennsylvania). Had to go home and browse for animals. I've no idea why it was there. I don't think they live closer than like, Florida. I THINK HE HITCHHIKED.

Never hit a moose. That's a big big lose I think. Deer are the biggest problem here. They're flipping everywhere. We have kamikaze ones, no lie. They wait for cars.

"I swerve for hipsters" I bet there's a bumper sticker like that.

[goldvermilion87]

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!

Especially about the squirrel.

[sezso]

:-D

I started laughing at the lj cut text and didn't stop. Now my face hurts. :(

[tardis_stowaway]

LOL! This is fabulously silly. Poor, long-suffering John.

My job is taking kids (ages 10-12) on hikes. When they see a squirrel, they instantly give it their complete attention, usually with cries of "oh my god, a squirrel!!!!!" It doesn't matter what else might attempt to claim their attention- the lesson I'm trying to teach, a hawk, even bunch of sea otters- they will focus on the squirrel. I'm unsurprised that Sherlock appears to have the maturity and obsessions of a sixth grader (albeit with the sixth graders' interest in getting enough to pet it substituted with interest in getting close enough to kill it). :)