prompting: part iii

[sherlockbbc_fic]

Please check the Sticky Post to find the newest active part and post your prompts there.

Prompts from this post can be filled on the Overflow Post

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The Staff of Baker Street High School 1

[anonymous]

Break time shuffles round at ten to eleven, and Mr Lestrade (Geography) needs at least a pint of coffee if he’s going to face the year tens next period.

You’d think after having specifically chosen their GCSE options, they would actually want to be there. He sighs and pushes open the staff room door.

Sadly, the science department is already there. Mr Holmes (Chemistry) is lamenting the A level course again. Well, Lestrade says lamenting, ranting about it is more to the point.

“The narrow vision of the exam boards,” he cries out, standing up from one of the used-to-be-comfy seats to pace backwards and forwards. “I refuse to teach to their restricting and limited syllabus. They have no imagination, John. I teach things that are useful, things that are interesting, not by rote so that my students can churn out identical exam papers and get a pat on the head from a...”

“And a qualification,” John reminds him.

“Qualifications!Lestrade heads for the coffee machine, deliberately bypassing them. Sherlock is liable to go on all break and

The Staff of Baker Street High School 2

[anonymous]

Mycroft Holmes runs the school. This is known.

Of course, he isn’t actually in charge, he occupies a minor position on the board of governors. In the mean time he is a mild mannered civil servant, in much the same way that Lex Luthor was a mild mannered multi-millionnaire.

He comes by once a week to check on things (mostly his younger brother) and smile at the headmistress in an entirely pleasant and non threatening manner

The Staff of Baker Street High School 3

[anonymous]

Mrs Hudson presides over the kitchens with the serene discipline of a born warrior. She can juggle two cakes, a knife accident and someone setting fire to their hair with little more than a ‘I can’t watch you every second, you know,’ and yet, somehow, she does

The Staff of Baker Street High School 4

[anonymous]

“Ah, Mr Holmes,” the headmistress says, peering over her glasses. “We have had a few complaints from students and staff regarding our mobile phone policy... and you. I thought we’d explained last week that the sight of you using a mobile phone in front of our students is highly unprofessional and encourages them to do the same.

“I have even heard reports from staff that you have started to educate students via mobile phone.”

“Not really. I just felt the need to correct someone who was whispering at the back of my class.”

“Two wrongs do not make a right.”

“Spare me your platitudes.”

“And there is the matter of the computer network. You appear to have hacked into the personal accounts of several staff members.”

“Their passwords were far too simple. I have spoken to the IT department, but they refuse to change it.”

“Miss Donovan did mention something of the sort,” the headmistress says with a sigh. She wonders what she ever did to deserve a job in this school. It had all seemed so pleasant when she had come for the interview. “

The Staff of Baker Street High School 5

[anonymous]

On Monday mornings there are assemblies, and the teachers lead their forms in and then ignore them for fifteen minutes in favour of having a slightly longer nap.

Or, in Sherlock’s case, texting the phones of any of his students who is being particularly annoying.

The headteacher stands up and silence doesn’t fall so much as shuffle downstairs in its dressing gown and say ‘oh well then, if I must’.

Listening and ignoring often come across the same, so by the end of the fifteen minutes the headmistress looks around happy in the knowledge that she has imparted knowledge and everyone else stumbles out happy in the knowledge that they aren’t going to be tested on that.

-

“Strategically unsound,” Mr Holmes informs the boys climbing out of the Latin room window. They freeze. “There’s a clear view of this window from the staff room and from the science department offices. Honestly, you’re just not trying.”

He catches them again on Tuesday - ’This door has an alarm, you know’ - and on Wednesday - ’That tree will never support your

The Staff of Baker Street High School 6 (final part)

[anonymous]

The teachers look at the clocks as much as the children in that final period, waiting for three forty to come around

Re: The Staff of Baker Street High School 6 (final part)

[twistedsheets10]

OH my dear sweet lord, this is hysterical.

“Let me get this straight, you want me to come to your lab so you can poison me?”

“No, of course not,” Sherlock says. “One of the students accidentally drank the concoction, I need you to perform first aid.”

Oh, Sherlock.

Re: The Staff of Baker Street High School 6 (final part)

[anonymous]

Thank you. Good to know the humour translates to outside my head.

And Sherlock is a menace to the poor health and safety advisors.

Re: The Staff of Baker Street High School 6 (final part)

[selenityshiroi]

I don't normally read AUs but I'll make exceptions for fun AUs like this!

Re: The Staff of Baker Street High School 6 (final part)

[gronwsbower]

This is hilarious. And brilliant. And ... er ... not at all reminiscent of staff rooms I have known. Nope, not at all.

Re: The Staff of Baker Street High School 6 (final part)

[anonymous]

Nor do I mean to imply that UK schools are like this at all Ha - sounds like my school alright, though I could only have wished I had a chemistry teacher as hot as BC!

I particularly adored the line about silence shuffling downstairs in its dressing gown - it's one of those metaphors I would never think of, but when I read it I realised how perfectly it fit that scenario.

Thanks for sharing!

OP

[anonymous]

OMG I love you so much right now. This was absolutely perfect. PERFECT I tell you!!!
And though you might not have been reflecting the UK school system, you got the Australian one down pat - this sounds like my school. (Although Moriarty's so my Legal Studies teacher...sarcastic and sadistic I tell you)

Thank you - that all I can say. Thank you so much :D You've made me so happy *squee* off to read this again :D

Re: The Staff of Baker Street High School 6 (final part)

[anonymous]

Sweet jesus, this was brilliant anon! XD

Re: The Staff of Baker Street High School 6 (final part)

[phoenixgfawkes]

I had so, so much fun reading this! I totally cracked up at times, especially with the snippet on Mycroft: Not that he does, of course, he is merely a public servant.
And if you believe that then you’ll believe anything. MADE OF WIN.

I could imagine them all as teachers as you described them (yes, Sherlock would teach Chemistry... and use his students as guinea pigs) and I can't seem to pick my favourite part, they were all fantastically hilarious.

Re: The Staff of Baker Street High School 6 (final part)

[cheeky_vim]

The headteacher stands up and silence doesn’t fall so much as shuffle downstairs in its dressing gown and say ‘oh well then, if I must’.

This had me in stitches. This whole thing is incredible in general. I adored it.

Re: The Staff of Baker Street High School 6 (final part)

[anonymous]

*giggles* This is really delightful and so much fun -- very charming too, and I say that as a school science monkey. (Obviously Molly isn't one of us. We're much more fun and never make nitrogen triiodide and sprinkle it in the car park because we can.)