Do not think of porn, Greg. Do not... DAMMITmilwaukeemegJune 27 2011, 22:11:50 UTC
There is a valid reason why Lestrade stopped coming to Baker Street to get Sherlock's advice. Or rather, wants to stop coming to Baker Street on regular basis.
You see, Sherlock usually wears only very sexy (not that Lestrade notices, of course) pajamas or, on hot days, sits naked, and John walks around the flat in boxer shorts (and when he bends... No, Lestrade is NOT LOOKING). And Lestrade hates it with passion, because there is such a thing common decency, and his every visit resembles beginning of the porn. You know, "Oh, Inspector, good thing you've came here. It's been so boring here... [innocent strech]" "I can't help you with the case, Inspecor, but if you'd sit in this chair, I could help you with something else... JOHN, Lestrade needs a haircut, bring scissors"
And he IS NOT ANGRY AND FRUSTRATED that they never get to the 'wild sex' stage of the porn. HE IS NOT. No.
Re: Do not think of porn, Greg. Do not... DAMMITprurientlyJune 28 2011, 02:02:03 UTC
This is a great prompt! Oh ha, Lestrade. Poor, poor Lestrade.
I feel like you should consider taking a stab at your own prompt-- this may sound weird, but it seems like you have a good comedic voice down just in the prompt itself.
This is not difficult. There is no issue, there is no discomfort. Just Sherlock and John.
Breathe in, breathe out.
He's seen them hundred of times with no problems.
Breathe in, slow. Breathe out, slow.
Sherlock and John. Just Sherlock and John.
In, slow, slow; and out, slowly, that's it.
Just Sherlock, slowly, oh so slowly, dragging a hand down John's chest as he-
God fucking damnit.
Lestrade beat his forehead into the door of 221 Baker Street hard. It was close enough to a knock that he heard thumps from upstairs that most definitely did not sound like a headboard knocking against a wall, stop it right now, as John roused himself
( ... )
FILL: Bow-Chicka-Wow-Wow (1b/1)stickstockstoneJuly 8 2011, 21:41:10 UTC
Like John was surprisingly slim, Sherlock turned out to be surprisingly broad- at least, his shoulders were. Beautifully sculpted, and just as pale as the rest of him, watching Sherlock pace shirtless was like watching a pair of shoulders float along a horizontal, while the rest of his long, defined body dangled below
( ... )
Re: FILL: Bow-Chicka-Wow-Wow (1b/1)nejemJuly 8 2011, 22:33:16 UTC
In and Out Again: The Tail of Dildo Daggins Right, yeah, now it'll be REALLY hard to watch The Hobbit without thinking about this and laughing like crazy! XD
THIS WAS BRILLIANT AND HILARIOUS AND A LITTLE HOT AND YOU ARE AWESOME!
Look at my icon. Then multiply this smile by a 100. THIS FILL IS WONDERFUL. I just love your Lestrade. And "oh, right, the case folder" just made my day. :D
You see, Sherlock usually wears only very sexy (not that Lestrade notices, of course) pajamas or, on hot days, sits naked, and John walks around the flat in boxer shorts (and when he bends... No, Lestrade is NOT LOOKING). And Lestrade hates it with passion, because there is such a thing common decency, and his every visit resembles beginning of the porn. You know, "Oh, Inspector, good thing you've came here. It's been so boring here... [innocent strech]" "I can't help you with the case, Inspecor, but if you'd sit in this chair, I could help you with something else... JOHN, Lestrade needs a haircut, bring scissors"
And he IS NOT ANGRY AND FRUSTRATED that they never get to the 'wild sex' stage of the porn. HE IS NOT. No.
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I feel like you should consider taking a stab at your own prompt-- this may sound weird, but it seems like you have a good comedic voice down just in the prompt itself.
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Lestrade allowed himself a series of slow, calming breaths as he stared at the brass numbers in front of him.
In through the nose, and out through the mouth.
It was Sherlock and John. Just Sherlock and John. He sees them at least once a week. He works with them often.
Inhale- one, two, three, four, five. Exhale- one, two, three, four, five.
This is not difficult. There is no issue, there is no discomfort. Just Sherlock and John.
Breathe in, breathe out.
He's seen them hundred of times with no problems.
Breathe in, slow. Breathe out, slow.
Sherlock and John. Just Sherlock and John.
In, slow, slow; and out, slowly, that's it.
Just Sherlock, slowly, oh so slowly, dragging a hand down John's chest as he-
God fucking damnit.
Lestrade beat his forehead into the door of 221 Baker Street hard. It was close enough to a knock that he heard thumps from upstairs that most definitely did not sound like a headboard knocking against a wall, stop it right now, as John roused himself ( ... )
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Right, yeah, now it'll be REALLY hard to watch The Hobbit without thinking about this and laughing like crazy! XD
THIS WAS BRILLIANT AND HILARIOUS AND A LITTLE HOT AND YOU ARE AWESOME!
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god help me, I'll never be able to watch the movie with a straight face.
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Thank you for the most wonderful fill. :D
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Brilliance!
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And this is possibly my most favourite title for a fill EVER.
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