fic: the potted orchid proposition (2/2)
Title: The Potted Orchid Proposition
Spoilers: None
Rating: T
Summary: Sheldon has a plan, but Penny's not sure she can go along with it. How far will Sheldon go to convince her?
Word Count: ~3,500
Notes: Written in response to inanna1130's plot bunny. Thanks to renisanz for her insightful criticisms and beta-reading assistance.
Link to Part One
***
THE POTTED ORCHID PROPOSITION
Part Two of Two
The ring lay gently in the palm of Penny's hand, a delicate circle of gold and diamond.
It was beautiful. It looked expensive. It was, in short, the kind of ring she'd always dreamed of.
And it terrified her.
"Sheldon-" Her voice came out hoarsely past the prickly lump in her throat. "You don't really-I mean, this can't be what it-"
"I should think my intentions would be quite obvious," said Sheldon with a hint of impatience. "Absurd though the convention of a man offering a diamond ring to the woman he wishes to marry might be, it is nonetheless firmly rooted in popular Western custom…"
The woman he wishes to marry. Penny felt faint and a little sick. Of course Sheldon went on lecturing, undaunted by her glassy-eyed look, but she could barely hear him. Slowly she set down the potted orchid he'd given her, then backed up and sank down onto the stairs again.
Sheldon followed, still chatting away about the origins of the engagement ring and its symbolic significance. Penny felt her hysteria building with every word, and was just about to scream at him to shut up when he stopped, frowned down at her and said, "I'm sorry, is there a problem?"
"Yes," said Penny, grabbing his hand and shoving the ring back into it before she could be tempted to try it on. "The problem is that you are crazy, and I am putting a stop to this for your own good. Sheldon, you can't ask a girl to marry you on the very first date!"
"Oh, was this a 'date'?" said Sheldon. "Curious. I had expected something more formal." He considered the ring a moment, then tucked it away in his pocket. "Very well, I'll keep this for another time. Perhaps the second or third date would be more appropriate?"
Penny dropped her face against her hands.
"Oh, of course, we'll need to synchronize our schedules," Sheldon said. "I'll get my planner."
"Wait- Sheldon-" But he had already vanished through his apartment door. With a little moan of despair, Penny leaped up and hurried after him.
"Next Friday is Wii bowling night," said Sheldon as he flipped open his notebook and took out a pencil. "But I see no reason our date shouldn't take precedence. Would you be available at six-thirty, or would you prefer a later time?"
Despite her frustration, Penny couldn't help but be touched that Sheldon would so readily change his plans for her. However, this really had to stop right now. She grabbed the Daytimer out of his hands and tossed it onto the sofa, then seized him by the shoulders and shoved him down beside it. "Sheldon, you have to listen to me. I can't marry you. Not on the second date, not on the third. I'm not even sure we should have a second date."
Sheldon looked perplexed. "But Penny, you kissed me quite passionately a few minutes ago. I thought we had an understanding."
"All I understand is that you kissed me first, and yes it was amazing and I'm not sorry you did it, but don't you think we're moving a little fast here? I just came back from dinner with another guy, and a few minutes ago I would have sworn I wasn't even interested in you, or at least there wasn't any point in being interested because you were never going to… agh!"
Penny threw up her hands and spun away from him, not wanting him to see the tears that had sprung to her eyes. Why did he have to put her in a position like this? She couldn't bear the thought of hurting Sheldon-sure, she teased him all the time, and he sniped back, but this wasn't about the little things anymore, this was huge and she didn't know what to do.
"I see," said Sheldon after a moment. "You believe that I've acted precipitately. Without sufficient forethought."
"Uh…" When he put it like that, Penny wasn't so sure. After all, this was Sheldon she was talking to, not Howard. Or Leonard. Or any other half-normal guy, for that matter. Had Sheldon ever done anything in his whole life without massively over-thinking it first?
"Or at least," Sheldon went on in a musing tone, "you fear that if the two of us agreed to marry based solely on our existing knowledge of each other, it would be an ill-founded decision that we would both come to regret."
"Well… yeah."
"You're wrong."
Penny's shoulders slumped.
"Allow me to prove it," said Sheldon, getting up and striding over to the whiteboard. He erased the scribbled formulas with a few brisk strokes, then uncapped a green marker and said, "What qualities do you consider important in a mate?"
"Isn't that Leonard's whiteboard?"
"Yes, but his calculations were uninspired and derivative. Answer the question, Penny."
Resigned, Penny flung herself down on the sofa. "I dunno, a guy who doesn't say things to me like 'You're wrong'?"
Sheldon considered this, then wrote "SPINELESS" on the board.
"That's not what I meant!" protested Penny, but she couldn't keep one corner of her mouth from twitching. Trust Sheldon to be so Sheldon, even when he was trying to talk her into marrying him...
"It amounts to the same thing," said Sheldon. "Either he lacks the courage and integrity to warn you when you are making a regrettable error, or he lacks the intelligence to perceive it. Should I have written MORON instead?"
"Okay, fine," Penny retorted. "So how am I 'wrong' in thinking it's crazy to propose to somebody when you haven't even dated them yet?"
A frown wrinkled Sheldon's brow. "I thought you said this was our first date. Really, Penny, I'd appreciate you being more specific in defining your terms."
"Sheldon! Can we stick to the point?"
"Oh, very well," he said petulantly. "The point is that you are overlooking the obvious. As I understand it, the purpose of dating is to enable two people to get to know one another better, and determine whether or not they would be compatible in a long-term relationship. Correct?"
"Yes," said Penny, warily.
"And to that end, this hypothetical couple agree to spend time together in a variety of settings and situations, so that they can observe each other's positive and negative attributes and decide whether it would be prudent to make a formal commitment to one another. I ask you, Penny, how much time have you and I spent together over the past four years?"
"Um…"
"By my calculations, based on the average number of visits we have made to each other's apartments each week and the average duration of those visits, we have now spent approximately eight hundred and thirty-two hours in each other's company. During that time we have pursued a wide range of shared tasks and activities, and although we have occasionally disagreed, argued or even expressed mutual hostility, we have inevitably 'made up' shortly afterward. We are each fully aware of the other's preferences, hobbies and interests, as well as our respective personality traits and tendencies. I find it difficult to imagine that we could learn anything new or significant about each other simply by agreeing to spend additional time together once or twice a week."
He really had thought about this, Penny realized with a flash of alarm. And she couldn't deny that what he was saying made sense. He'd even made her fill out a detailed Friendship Questionnaire at one point, and knowing him, he probably still had it on file. Still, he'd managed to surprise her with that kiss-not to mention the orchid and the proposal-so they obviously didn't know everything about each other yet.
"Yeah, but just because we're good neighbors, or good friends, or… or whatever you want to call us," she said, "that's a lot different from being married. And why would you even want to marry me? You organize your cereal by fiber content, for crap's sake!"
Sheldon let out a little snicker.
"What?" demanded Penny.
"Oh, you mean that witticism was unintentional?"
She rolled her eyes. "Oh, right, fiber and crap, ha ha. What I mean is, you have your whole life planned out to the last detail. And I'm constantly in a mess and right now I don't even know which cupboard my cereal is in."
"Are you saying you'd object to a clean environment and an organized pantry system?" asked Sheldon.
"Well, no, not exactly, but-okay, that wasn't the best example. Science! You're this big-shot theoretical physicist and you have like a jillion degrees, and I flunked chemistry in tenth grade. How am I supposed to keep up with you when you start blathering on about quirks and quarks and stringy-things?"
Sheldon looked pained. "Why would I want you to talk to me about science? That's what Leonard, Raj and Howard are for. Of course, they aren't my intellectual equals either, but then, practically no one is."
Penny sighed. "All right, fine, forget the science part. But what I'm trying to say is, you should choose someone who's like you. Someone who thinks the way you do. You know?"
"Well, I suppose I could clone a female version of myself and subject her to a rigorous program of accelerated learning to bring her up to my educational equivalent," mused Sheldon. "But while the idea is intriguing, I really don't think it would be bio-ethically responsible."
Penny stared at him.
"And besides," Sheldon went on as he walked back to sit beside her, "while marrying someone just like myself might make for a more predictable existence, I suspect it would also be fairly pointless. I already know what it's like to live with myself."
"So you're saying," Penny said slowly, "that you want to marry me because I'm different from you? Some kind of two-halves-of-a-whole thing?"
"Good lord, no," said Sheldon. "For one thing, I find the implication that I am only half a person quite distasteful, not to mention absurd. Nevertheless, I can see numerous advantages to choosing a partner with different strengths and interests from my own, and I believe you are intelligent enough to perceive those advantages as well."
Penny blinked. Had Sheldon really called her intelligent? A warm flush of pleasure went through her, and she found herself sliding a little closer to his end of the sofa. Then she recalled that he still hadn't dealt with all of her objections, and that if she wasn't careful she was going to end up engaged to a guy she hadn't even slept with yet, and made herself sit back again.
"Okay, but there's one thing I don't get," she said. "The whole time I've known you, you've been totally uninterested in sex, or romance, or whatever. I've seen girls throw themselves at you and you didn't even notice-and even once Leonard and the other guys explained what was going on, you couldn't be bothered to do anything about it. And like you said, we've spent a whole whack-load of time together and you never seemed to be attracted to me before. So why now? And why me?"
"That would be two things you don't get, Penny, not one," said Sheldon patiently. "To answer your first question, I admit that I myself was perplexed and even alarmed by my sudden attraction to you. But then I recalled how neuroscientific research indicates that decision-making activates the frontopolar cortex well before reaching the parietal-"
"English, Sheldon," said Penny.
"What I mean is, there is good reason to believe that conscious choice is at least partly an illusion, and that our brains are wired to make decisions before logically processing them. Ultimately, I came to believe that since my conscious mind was too ossified by habit and prejudice to acknowledge your desirability as a mate, my subconscious was forced to use my body to convince me otherwise."
Penny felt a little dazed. Was Sheldon really saying that she'd blown his mind?
"As for why I would choose you," Sheldon continued, "it is true that I have met other women who appeared to be personable, intelligent, aesthetically pleasing, or all three. But your influence on me over the past four years has been different from any relationship I have experienced before. Your unwillingness to 'put up with my crap,' as you have often put it, has frequently led to conflict between us. But it is also a quality I… admire."
His voice lowered on the final word, and Penny found herself breathing harder. She licked her dry lips and said, "Sheldon, I-"
He looked at her inquiringly.
"Oh, hell with it," Penny blurted, grabbed him by the shoulders, and kissed him.
She'd expected him to yelp and seize up, but although Sheldon gave a little start as her lips touched his, he made no sound and his tense muscles relaxed almost at once. He even put his arms around her, the embrace tentative at first then growing surer, one hand cupping her shoulder blade and the other sliding down the curve of her spine as she pressed against him. He hadn't forgotten anything he'd learned from their first kiss, either-the way his mouth brushed the corner of hers and the slow trace of his tongue along her lower lip were proof of that.
He admired her. He respected her. He didn't want to change her into someone she wasn't, or didn't want to be. Sure, he could drive her crazy with his fussy ways, but he was also the most honest, transparent person she'd ever met. And though he hadn't said "I love you" in so many words, the orchid and the ring and the long-winded argument for why they should get engaged right now told Penny everything she needed to know.
Not to mention the soft but urgent movement of Sheldon's lips against her own, the way his breath caught when she slid her hands down his chest to his stomach and the feel of his fingers exploring her ribcage-there was nothing clinical or academic about that. And if he could make her shiver just sitting on a sofa together with all their clothes on, it was hard to believe he wouldn't be equally amazing in-
Oh. Oh no.
Penny jerked back, pressing one hand to her swollen lips. "I can't. Sheldon, I'm so sorry, I can't."
"Can't what?" His voice sounded slurred and his eyes were half-lidded, as though she'd drugged him.
"Do this. Any of this. It wouldn't be fair to you. I've been with so many guys and you haven't even-" She took a shaky breath. "You deserve better."
"Your scruples are unnecessary, Penny," said Sheldon, sitting up slowly. "I'm well aware of your sexual history. However, I also know that prior to your string of short-lived relationships you lived with your boyfriend Kurt for over four years, and that it was his infidelity, not yours, which ended that relationship. I see no reason to believe you incapable of commitment, provided you are with someone who is equally committed to you." His deep blue eyes were serious. "And I am."
Penny closed her eyes, feeling tears burning behind them. All this time she'd thought Sheldon looked down on her, that he despised her weakness and her lack of self-control… How could he have more faith in her than she even had in herself?
"It's not that," she said. "Or at least, that's not all of it. It's just-I can't help comparing you to those other guys, whether I want to or not, and-"
She stopped as Sheldon took her hand and laced his long fingers into hers. "Penny," he said in a reproving tone, "I'll forgive your ignorance this once, since you are clearly overwrought. But do you really think my ego is that fragile? And do you truly believe that I cannot prove myself superior to your past partners in every way, not just intellectually? I admit that it may take a certain amount of practice, but I assure you, I am an excellent learner."
Penny looked down at their joined hands, and swallowed back the lump in her throat. "Sheldon?" she asked.
"Yes, Penny."
"Do you still have that ring?"
*
"What's an orchid doing outside Penny's door?" asked Raj as he, Leonard and Howard climbed up onto the landing.
"I dunno," said Howard. "Is there a note on it, or something?" He walked over and stooped to examine it. "Don't see one. Nice flowers, though. Kinda sexy."
"Maybe she's not home," Leonard said. "Pick it up, we'll take it with us and I'll give it to her tomorrow."
Obediently Howard picked up the pot and carried it over, while Leonard took out his key and unlocked the apartment door.
"What I can't figure out," Raj began as they headed inside, "is why Sheldon didn't want to come to the comic store with-"
His voice cut off in a squeak. Two heads-one dark, one gleaming blonde-were clearly visible above the top of the sofa, and they were both in Sheldon's spot. In fact, from this angle it looked remarkably like Penny was sitting on Sheldon's lap, and the two of them were kissing.
"Uh… Penny?" said Leonard in a voice that rose an octave and cracked on the final syllable, and the two heads jerked apart.
"Oh, hi, guys!" exclaimed Penny, climbing off Sheldon and waving her glittering left hand. "Guess what? Sheldon and I got engaged!"
The potted orchid shattered on the floor.
THE END
***
Thanks to everyone who's read and commented on my stories so far! I really appreciate your thoughts, whether they be criticism or praise or a little of both.
Spoilers: None
Rating: T
Summary: Sheldon has a plan, but Penny's not sure she can go along with it. How far will Sheldon go to convince her?
Word Count: ~3,500
Notes: Written in response to inanna1130's plot bunny. Thanks to renisanz for her insightful criticisms and beta-reading assistance.
Link to Part One
***
THE POTTED ORCHID PROPOSITION
Part Two of Two
The ring lay gently in the palm of Penny's hand, a delicate circle of gold and diamond.
It was beautiful. It looked expensive. It was, in short, the kind of ring she'd always dreamed of.
And it terrified her.
"Sheldon-" Her voice came out hoarsely past the prickly lump in her throat. "You don't really-I mean, this can't be what it-"
"I should think my intentions would be quite obvious," said Sheldon with a hint of impatience. "Absurd though the convention of a man offering a diamond ring to the woman he wishes to marry might be, it is nonetheless firmly rooted in popular Western custom…"
The woman he wishes to marry. Penny felt faint and a little sick. Of course Sheldon went on lecturing, undaunted by her glassy-eyed look, but she could barely hear him. Slowly she set down the potted orchid he'd given her, then backed up and sank down onto the stairs again.
Sheldon followed, still chatting away about the origins of the engagement ring and its symbolic significance. Penny felt her hysteria building with every word, and was just about to scream at him to shut up when he stopped, frowned down at her and said, "I'm sorry, is there a problem?"
"Yes," said Penny, grabbing his hand and shoving the ring back into it before she could be tempted to try it on. "The problem is that you are crazy, and I am putting a stop to this for your own good. Sheldon, you can't ask a girl to marry you on the very first date!"
"Oh, was this a 'date'?" said Sheldon. "Curious. I had expected something more formal." He considered the ring a moment, then tucked it away in his pocket. "Very well, I'll keep this for another time. Perhaps the second or third date would be more appropriate?"
Penny dropped her face against her hands.
"Oh, of course, we'll need to synchronize our schedules," Sheldon said. "I'll get my planner."
"Wait- Sheldon-" But he had already vanished through his apartment door. With a little moan of despair, Penny leaped up and hurried after him.
"Next Friday is Wii bowling night," said Sheldon as he flipped open his notebook and took out a pencil. "But I see no reason our date shouldn't take precedence. Would you be available at six-thirty, or would you prefer a later time?"
Despite her frustration, Penny couldn't help but be touched that Sheldon would so readily change his plans for her. However, this really had to stop right now. She grabbed the Daytimer out of his hands and tossed it onto the sofa, then seized him by the shoulders and shoved him down beside it. "Sheldon, you have to listen to me. I can't marry you. Not on the second date, not on the third. I'm not even sure we should have a second date."
Sheldon looked perplexed. "But Penny, you kissed me quite passionately a few minutes ago. I thought we had an understanding."
"All I understand is that you kissed me first, and yes it was amazing and I'm not sorry you did it, but don't you think we're moving a little fast here? I just came back from dinner with another guy, and a few minutes ago I would have sworn I wasn't even interested in you, or at least there wasn't any point in being interested because you were never going to… agh!"
Penny threw up her hands and spun away from him, not wanting him to see the tears that had sprung to her eyes. Why did he have to put her in a position like this? She couldn't bear the thought of hurting Sheldon-sure, she teased him all the time, and he sniped back, but this wasn't about the little things anymore, this was huge and she didn't know what to do.
"I see," said Sheldon after a moment. "You believe that I've acted precipitately. Without sufficient forethought."
"Uh…" When he put it like that, Penny wasn't so sure. After all, this was Sheldon she was talking to, not Howard. Or Leonard. Or any other half-normal guy, for that matter. Had Sheldon ever done anything in his whole life without massively over-thinking it first?
"Or at least," Sheldon went on in a musing tone, "you fear that if the two of us agreed to marry based solely on our existing knowledge of each other, it would be an ill-founded decision that we would both come to regret."
"Well… yeah."
"You're wrong."
Penny's shoulders slumped.
"Allow me to prove it," said Sheldon, getting up and striding over to the whiteboard. He erased the scribbled formulas with a few brisk strokes, then uncapped a green marker and said, "What qualities do you consider important in a mate?"
"Isn't that Leonard's whiteboard?"
"Yes, but his calculations were uninspired and derivative. Answer the question, Penny."
Resigned, Penny flung herself down on the sofa. "I dunno, a guy who doesn't say things to me like 'You're wrong'?"
Sheldon considered this, then wrote "SPINELESS" on the board.
"That's not what I meant!" protested Penny, but she couldn't keep one corner of her mouth from twitching. Trust Sheldon to be so Sheldon, even when he was trying to talk her into marrying him...
"It amounts to the same thing," said Sheldon. "Either he lacks the courage and integrity to warn you when you are making a regrettable error, or he lacks the intelligence to perceive it. Should I have written MORON instead?"
"Okay, fine," Penny retorted. "So how am I 'wrong' in thinking it's crazy to propose to somebody when you haven't even dated them yet?"
A frown wrinkled Sheldon's brow. "I thought you said this was our first date. Really, Penny, I'd appreciate you being more specific in defining your terms."
"Sheldon! Can we stick to the point?"
"Oh, very well," he said petulantly. "The point is that you are overlooking the obvious. As I understand it, the purpose of dating is to enable two people to get to know one another better, and determine whether or not they would be compatible in a long-term relationship. Correct?"
"Yes," said Penny, warily.
"And to that end, this hypothetical couple agree to spend time together in a variety of settings and situations, so that they can observe each other's positive and negative attributes and decide whether it would be prudent to make a formal commitment to one another. I ask you, Penny, how much time have you and I spent together over the past four years?"
"Um…"
"By my calculations, based on the average number of visits we have made to each other's apartments each week and the average duration of those visits, we have now spent approximately eight hundred and thirty-two hours in each other's company. During that time we have pursued a wide range of shared tasks and activities, and although we have occasionally disagreed, argued or even expressed mutual hostility, we have inevitably 'made up' shortly afterward. We are each fully aware of the other's preferences, hobbies and interests, as well as our respective personality traits and tendencies. I find it difficult to imagine that we could learn anything new or significant about each other simply by agreeing to spend additional time together once or twice a week."
He really had thought about this, Penny realized with a flash of alarm. And she couldn't deny that what he was saying made sense. He'd even made her fill out a detailed Friendship Questionnaire at one point, and knowing him, he probably still had it on file. Still, he'd managed to surprise her with that kiss-not to mention the orchid and the proposal-so they obviously didn't know everything about each other yet.
"Yeah, but just because we're good neighbors, or good friends, or… or whatever you want to call us," she said, "that's a lot different from being married. And why would you even want to marry me? You organize your cereal by fiber content, for crap's sake!"
Sheldon let out a little snicker.
"What?" demanded Penny.
"Oh, you mean that witticism was unintentional?"
She rolled her eyes. "Oh, right, fiber and crap, ha ha. What I mean is, you have your whole life planned out to the last detail. And I'm constantly in a mess and right now I don't even know which cupboard my cereal is in."
"Are you saying you'd object to a clean environment and an organized pantry system?" asked Sheldon.
"Well, no, not exactly, but-okay, that wasn't the best example. Science! You're this big-shot theoretical physicist and you have like a jillion degrees, and I flunked chemistry in tenth grade. How am I supposed to keep up with you when you start blathering on about quirks and quarks and stringy-things?"
Sheldon looked pained. "Why would I want you to talk to me about science? That's what Leonard, Raj and Howard are for. Of course, they aren't my intellectual equals either, but then, practically no one is."
Penny sighed. "All right, fine, forget the science part. But what I'm trying to say is, you should choose someone who's like you. Someone who thinks the way you do. You know?"
"Well, I suppose I could clone a female version of myself and subject her to a rigorous program of accelerated learning to bring her up to my educational equivalent," mused Sheldon. "But while the idea is intriguing, I really don't think it would be bio-ethically responsible."
Penny stared at him.
"And besides," Sheldon went on as he walked back to sit beside her, "while marrying someone just like myself might make for a more predictable existence, I suspect it would also be fairly pointless. I already know what it's like to live with myself."
"So you're saying," Penny said slowly, "that you want to marry me because I'm different from you? Some kind of two-halves-of-a-whole thing?"
"Good lord, no," said Sheldon. "For one thing, I find the implication that I am only half a person quite distasteful, not to mention absurd. Nevertheless, I can see numerous advantages to choosing a partner with different strengths and interests from my own, and I believe you are intelligent enough to perceive those advantages as well."
Penny blinked. Had Sheldon really called her intelligent? A warm flush of pleasure went through her, and she found herself sliding a little closer to his end of the sofa. Then she recalled that he still hadn't dealt with all of her objections, and that if she wasn't careful she was going to end up engaged to a guy she hadn't even slept with yet, and made herself sit back again.
"Okay, but there's one thing I don't get," she said. "The whole time I've known you, you've been totally uninterested in sex, or romance, or whatever. I've seen girls throw themselves at you and you didn't even notice-and even once Leonard and the other guys explained what was going on, you couldn't be bothered to do anything about it. And like you said, we've spent a whole whack-load of time together and you never seemed to be attracted to me before. So why now? And why me?"
"That would be two things you don't get, Penny, not one," said Sheldon patiently. "To answer your first question, I admit that I myself was perplexed and even alarmed by my sudden attraction to you. But then I recalled how neuroscientific research indicates that decision-making activates the frontopolar cortex well before reaching the parietal-"
"English, Sheldon," said Penny.
"What I mean is, there is good reason to believe that conscious choice is at least partly an illusion, and that our brains are wired to make decisions before logically processing them. Ultimately, I came to believe that since my conscious mind was too ossified by habit and prejudice to acknowledge your desirability as a mate, my subconscious was forced to use my body to convince me otherwise."
Penny felt a little dazed. Was Sheldon really saying that she'd blown his mind?
"As for why I would choose you," Sheldon continued, "it is true that I have met other women who appeared to be personable, intelligent, aesthetically pleasing, or all three. But your influence on me over the past four years has been different from any relationship I have experienced before. Your unwillingness to 'put up with my crap,' as you have often put it, has frequently led to conflict between us. But it is also a quality I… admire."
His voice lowered on the final word, and Penny found herself breathing harder. She licked her dry lips and said, "Sheldon, I-"
He looked at her inquiringly.
"Oh, hell with it," Penny blurted, grabbed him by the shoulders, and kissed him.
She'd expected him to yelp and seize up, but although Sheldon gave a little start as her lips touched his, he made no sound and his tense muscles relaxed almost at once. He even put his arms around her, the embrace tentative at first then growing surer, one hand cupping her shoulder blade and the other sliding down the curve of her spine as she pressed against him. He hadn't forgotten anything he'd learned from their first kiss, either-the way his mouth brushed the corner of hers and the slow trace of his tongue along her lower lip were proof of that.
He admired her. He respected her. He didn't want to change her into someone she wasn't, or didn't want to be. Sure, he could drive her crazy with his fussy ways, but he was also the most honest, transparent person she'd ever met. And though he hadn't said "I love you" in so many words, the orchid and the ring and the long-winded argument for why they should get engaged right now told Penny everything she needed to know.
Not to mention the soft but urgent movement of Sheldon's lips against her own, the way his breath caught when she slid her hands down his chest to his stomach and the feel of his fingers exploring her ribcage-there was nothing clinical or academic about that. And if he could make her shiver just sitting on a sofa together with all their clothes on, it was hard to believe he wouldn't be equally amazing in-
Oh. Oh no.
Penny jerked back, pressing one hand to her swollen lips. "I can't. Sheldon, I'm so sorry, I can't."
"Can't what?" His voice sounded slurred and his eyes were half-lidded, as though she'd drugged him.
"Do this. Any of this. It wouldn't be fair to you. I've been with so many guys and you haven't even-" She took a shaky breath. "You deserve better."
"Your scruples are unnecessary, Penny," said Sheldon, sitting up slowly. "I'm well aware of your sexual history. However, I also know that prior to your string of short-lived relationships you lived with your boyfriend Kurt for over four years, and that it was his infidelity, not yours, which ended that relationship. I see no reason to believe you incapable of commitment, provided you are with someone who is equally committed to you." His deep blue eyes were serious. "And I am."
Penny closed her eyes, feeling tears burning behind them. All this time she'd thought Sheldon looked down on her, that he despised her weakness and her lack of self-control… How could he have more faith in her than she even had in herself?
"It's not that," she said. "Or at least, that's not all of it. It's just-I can't help comparing you to those other guys, whether I want to or not, and-"
She stopped as Sheldon took her hand and laced his long fingers into hers. "Penny," he said in a reproving tone, "I'll forgive your ignorance this once, since you are clearly overwrought. But do you really think my ego is that fragile? And do you truly believe that I cannot prove myself superior to your past partners in every way, not just intellectually? I admit that it may take a certain amount of practice, but I assure you, I am an excellent learner."
Penny looked down at their joined hands, and swallowed back the lump in her throat. "Sheldon?" she asked.
"Yes, Penny."
"Do you still have that ring?"
*
"What's an orchid doing outside Penny's door?" asked Raj as he, Leonard and Howard climbed up onto the landing.
"I dunno," said Howard. "Is there a note on it, or something?" He walked over and stooped to examine it. "Don't see one. Nice flowers, though. Kinda sexy."
"Maybe she's not home," Leonard said. "Pick it up, we'll take it with us and I'll give it to her tomorrow."
Obediently Howard picked up the pot and carried it over, while Leonard took out his key and unlocked the apartment door.
"What I can't figure out," Raj began as they headed inside, "is why Sheldon didn't want to come to the comic store with-"
His voice cut off in a squeak. Two heads-one dark, one gleaming blonde-were clearly visible above the top of the sofa, and they were both in Sheldon's spot. In fact, from this angle it looked remarkably like Penny was sitting on Sheldon's lap, and the two of them were kissing.
"Uh… Penny?" said Leonard in a voice that rose an octave and cracked on the final syllable, and the two heads jerked apart.
"Oh, hi, guys!" exclaimed Penny, climbing off Sheldon and waving her glittering left hand. "Guess what? Sheldon and I got engaged!"
The potted orchid shattered on the floor.
THE END
***
Thanks to everyone who's read and commented on my stories so far! I really appreciate your thoughts, whether they be criticism or praise or a little of both.