Fic: A Journey to Understanding
Title: A Journey To Understanding
Author: phil_urich
Rating/Warnings: PG
Word Count: 4000
Summary: Sheldon’s journey of discovery takes place over several years.
A remix of ishie‘s Warm Gulf Wind based on
this prompt: “Sheldon is going peacefully on with his usual routine while Penny
is going through events in the original story. But lots of details shows he
thinks of her and wonders what will happen next.” Thanks to bk03 for the quick beta job!
He can almost hear the air conditioner humming in the silence that follows his admittedly simply request. His “superior” is staring blankly at him as if expecting him to suddenly smile and say, ‘Bazinga’. He waits this out, rather than listing off all the reasons this man should probably just be a research assistant. If Penny or his mother have taught him anything, it’s that sometimes it’s better if he is quiet if he wants to get his way.
“You want to make another trip out to Antarctica?”
Sheldon tenses ever so slightly at the question. He hates the tone of Gablehauser’s voice. He’s already gotten the grant approved and the equipment. All he really needs is the school’s approval. It’s backwards from the usual route, but there are times- “Yes,” he replies, just barely keeping it from becoming a bark.
“Forgive me, but you do recall what happened on your last trip, correct?” Dr. Gablehauser asks, the very picture of parental concern in his leather office chair and tailored suit, glasses set to the side.
“I do, which is why I requested that I be allowed to go alone. I know that there will be other researchers at the camp conducting experiments,” he barely says the last word without smirking or rolling his eyes. The other experiments focus on sub-degree temperatures and darkness and really, how do people like that convince people to give them money for experiments like that. “I don’t believe our schedules will be conflicting.”
Dr. Gablehauser leans back in his chair and turns to the side, his eyes going skywards as if asking the Heavens for some sort of advice. Sheldon dislikes the man just a little more as he scrunches himself further into the chair he‘s managed to squeeze his lanky frame into. His eyes scan the relatively bare office, till they settle on the statue of a javelin thrower on Gablehauser’s desk. He tries to calculate the distance of the javelin based on the angle of the javelin from the ground and an estimation of the speed and strength of the javelin thrower based on the thrower’s pose. Then he recites the periodic table
backwards in his head. “This wouldn’t have anything to do with your roommate’s upcoming nuptials would it?”
He stops at Argon. “Pardon?”
“Your roommate, Dr. Hofstadter. This doesn’t have anything to do with his upcoming wedding. I realize that the man did assist in ruining your last trip out there, but isn’t it time to let bygones be bygones?”
“Dr. Gablehauser, the conditions are perfect for the experiments I have decided on. I have wished Leonard and Penny a wonderful life together and gifted them with a crockpot. I believe my obligations to them are complete.”
Dr. Gablehauser rolls his eyes and appears to want to say something, but changes his mind. “Far be it from me to pry into your social life, Dr. Cooper. Enjoy your time in Antarctica,” he says as he signs off on the paperwork.”
“I will, thank you,” Sheldon says as he feels the tension finally leaving his
body.
>>>>>>
The pilot awakens him from his valium induced sleep shortly after they land. He tries to stand, but falls back in his chair, a laugh bubbling forth as he does so. An hour later he is awoken again, this time by the driver. He does not remember having gotten in the “Snocat” .
“You don’t have to go in, but you can’t stay here,” the driver says with a gesture at the icy landscape. Miles upon miles of ice spread as far as the eye can see. Beauty, madness, all Sheldon can see is the possibility.
He stands and takes his bags, lowering them to the snowy land with a dull thud. The research outpost is a gray box with a few lights decorating the outside in case a plane should need to find them. The driver starts in on the diatribe about what to do and what not to do.
Sheldon interrupts him. “I’ve been here before. Two years ago.”
The driver does a double take at that. “What are you doing back here, then?”
“I have work to do.” He starts to go into the intricacies of the environment and his experiment, reassuring himself of its promise while educating a man who does not seem to want anything more than to get out of dry, gusty winds and overbearing cold.
>>>>
Sheldon avoids the other researchers as much as possible-which is not difficult as many of them usually sleep by day and are up at night. His plan is to do nothing but eat, work and sleep. With eat and sleep not being too much of a priority.
It’s his own fault really. He is obsessive, but there’s never been a compulsion, just a want. He starts to wake later, he watches Leonard and Penny’s wedding from the safety of his bunk, but the reception seems to be much worse than normal. His sister glares ever so briefly at the camera as if knowing that he is watching them. Penny is well-attired for the wedding and walks slowly down the aisle. He never makes it to the nuptials though. The reception is much too rough and besides, he already knows the outcome.
Eventually loneliness begins to set in. His mother emails him and suggests putting pictures of his friends up to give him something to remind him of home. The idea is ridiculous. Pictures would only serve to increase the loneliness, by reminding him of ties he has left behind. Besides the only Polaroid he has is an autographed headshot of Penny. It had been given in jest, but he had never been one to throw away things, no matter how pointless they might have been. The headshot is placed on the wall near his bunk. He wonders if there might not be something wrong with him. He makes it a point to not speak to the picture. That would be pushing things.
This rule is broken a few times, usually just before he falls asleep. Sometimes he sings Soft Kitty, other times he attempts to rationalize her relationship with Leonard, but can never quiet seem to convince himself. He hopes that things work out, that her magical fantasy comes true, but he honestly cannot see it ever happening and it makes him just a little down. He never had an alternative for her, only a conclusion. He starts to think of alternatives in between his experiments, but after the completion of his work in Antarctica he has not come up with any.
>>>>>
The plane sets down in New York City due to a summer storm. Gray clouds and flashes of lightning reflect on the window of the terminal glass as he walks with several others, attempting not to flinch as the sound of thunder reverberates inside the small hallway. The airport is everything Sheldon has ever feared the city would be. People pressed shoulder to shoulder, loud and every bit as harsh as it could be. Logic would deem that its due to their fear of the incoming storm, the loss of flight time, being separated from their families, and a litany of other things. All of which he could empathize with if they would just stop touching him for a moment.
Every bathroom is clogged, every seat taken. It’s a total of 33 minutes before he reaches the front doors of the airport and walks outside. Without thinking he walks to the nearest cab, pauses to wipe down the seat of and climbs inside. When the driver asks where he wants to go Sheldon barks out the name of a hotel. It’s not till the next morning, when he no longer feels like the world is coming down around him, that he remembers that Penny had been the one to tell
him about this hotel.
An app on his phone lets him know that many of the planes will be grounded for the day, so he simply has the desk add on another night to his stay, knowing that the university will pay for it. He spends most of the day reading over his research, correcting sentences, though never exaggerating it. He makes phone calls to his work and writes an email to the grant administrators and in the end he comes up with a brilliant idea. He will work from home from now on.
>>>>>>>>
“Its really so simple. I’m amazed that I didn’t think of it before. Granted the school won‘t be too happy about it at first, but I feel I can convince them,” Sheldon says as he browses the racks of magazines in the hotel’s shop.
“To allow you to work from home?” Marty asks. Marty is 34 and been the manager of this shop for three of those years. He has never met someone like the man browsing the shelves in front of him.
“Precisely. I rarely ever use the other lab equipment and on the days that I do I’ll simply go into work.”
“Sounds like a plan.”
“Oh, I wouldn’t go that far. Merely a series of emails and I’m sure everything will be fine. Do you happen to have any brochures for local plays or musicals?”
“You plan to act from home?” Marty kids, but the gentleman just gives him an odd
look.
“No, its for a friend,” Sheldon says slowly as if speaking to a child.
Marty just nods his head. “Gotcha. At the front door there should be a whole thing of ‘em.”
“Excellent.”
>>>>
Dr. Gablehauser does not go for the idea, nor do the Department of Directors. Something about his ease of distraction. The findings of the Antarctica trip are impressive, but inconclusive. Leonard tries talking him out of it, but he stopped listening to Leonard a very long time ago. Howard calls him a genius, Raj calls him insane and Penny gives him a hug and asks if everything is alright. He resigns the next day and heads back home two weeks later without letting anyone know. There is something very, very wrong in his life and he cannot quantify it. It simply hurts his heart.
Sheldon finds himself locking the door behind him as he enters his old bedroom. Every bit of it is as exactly as he remembered it. The sheets still tucked in neatly, his collectables still exactly as he remembered them. Most people seem to believe that he simply became a “neat freak” of his own volition. Those people have never met his mother, never seen her ability to set things right or heard the silent prayers she utters when she sees anything even a bit dirty.
Everything is safer here, he thinks to himself as he lies down on the bed and sleeps like he will never wake up, as if there is no tomorrow.
But then there is Raj, poking him in the head. This has to be a dream.
“Raj, what are you doing here?”
Raj just gives him an uncertain smile and shrugs his shoulders.
“Raj, that hardly answers the question.”
“Oh, Sheldon. Quit badgering Raj and tell us what happened,” Missy says in that
demanding way of hers, hands on hips and a steely look in her eyes.
“I went to sleep, Missy,” Sheldon says as he slowly sits up, too tired to remind
either of them that this is his room and they should not be here.
“Yeah, Sheldon, a day ago. Momma thought something was wrong with you.”
Sheldon’s jaw tenses at the idea of something, anything, being wrong with him,
but he is certainly not going to let them know about it. “Raj, what are you
doing here?”
Raj’s face goes from innocent to guilty in a second.
“We’re datin‘, Shelly,” Missy says with a wry grin. Raj nods along, but does
not say anything else.
“I have to get dressed. You need to leave.”
Missy rolls her eyes, but taps Raj on the shoulder. “C’mon, boyfriend. Let’s
go tell Mama the good news.”
Sheldon waits till he hears the click of the door and Missy telling their mother
that ’Lazarus is back from the grave’ before he eases out of his bed. He has
never been one to deny himself knowledge of anything, especially not himself,
but right now he lets this slide.
>>>>
“Thanks for comin’ to the airport with me, Shelly,” Missy says, already turning away from the departing plane. While others would have stayed and watched as the plane disappeared, she is not one of them. Its something Sheldon admires in her, though he has always been the type to watch the plane’s departure to the very end, if only to complete the task.
“Well, seeing as I don’t have anything pressing to do right now,” he says glumly as they begin to leave.
This airport is much nicer than the one in New York City, smaller, less people. Raj left on a red eye, but none the less Sheldon will be booking all of his flights to depart and arrive from this airport when possible.
“You’ll have something soon, Shelly. I know it. You’re living with Mama and God knows she’ll drive you crazy.”
“I suppose I could do some research into selective mutism and find out what happened to Raj.”
“It ain’t that hard to figure out, Shelly. You offer up the right kinda prize and men’ll move mountains for it,” Missy says with a satisfied grin.
“But he still doesn’t speak.”
“He writes to me an’ for now that’s enough. Let’s talk about you though, Shelly. What happened in California?”
“I put forth a reasonable request that I be allowed to work from home and my employers turned me down, so I quit. Its very simple actually.”
Missy gives him a hard look at that. She has never been able to things impersonally. “Then what are you doing here?”
Sheldon does not answer.
“Was it Antarctica?”
“I hardly see how the two intertwine, Missy.”
“Was it something you watched, maybe? I know how change messes with you, Shelly, but Leonard and Penny…it was gonna happen, hon.”
“It has nothing to do with them. They have both made their choices and they seem to be quiet happy in their ignorance. Far be it from me to explain to them their folly for the ei-”
Missy hugs him before he can say anything else and in one of the few times in his life, Sheldon lets her, muttering a ‘There, there‘ under his breath, though a part of him wishes she would return the favor.
>>>>>
It’s two years later when things really start to change. He has long since moved out of his old home for a small home that’s only five miles away from his mother and sister. Close enough if they need him, but still far enough away for it to be his. He finds work at a local university nearly an hour away. The teaching is done mainly through the internet, something that allows him to teach any size of class, thankfully. Still, after a few complaints from the students and a demonstration of his genius as well as his ability to get funding for the school he is limited to one class a semester and allowed general access to the lab equipment as well as a personal driver.
Despite these changes nothing affects him as much as the magazine in the stand at his local Wendly’s, a chain of grocery stores that spread through his native homeland in his absence. It is a fashion rag, as his mother calls them, that catches his attention, though the name of said rag escapes him. He is stunned upon seeing Penny’s face on the cover of it. He has not spoken to her since he arrived home. To either of them really, though he has received the occasional email. He has been busy though. Raising research grants, occasionally visiting other universities to give lectures in person (no more than 30 at a time please).
Before he can even think about it, the magazine is purchased along with his week’s worth of groceries. When he arrives home he puts his groceries away, places the magazine on the coffee table his older brother gave him as a moving in gift. The table is utilitarian in looks and style, but it does everything he needs it to do. When that’s complete he awakens his computer and immediately begins to search Penny’s name.
He finds out about the acting jobs, the last three films, but nothing else about her save that she is using her family name again. He finds out about the divorce, but there is no feeling of victory upon seeing his initial hypothesis proven correct. None at all. After he has exhausted his search engine he sets about making a spreadsheet which lists every periodical she has ever been interviewed in or had her picture in. It takes the whole of the evening, much to his surprise, but in the end he feels a sense of accomplishment for the first time in a very long while.
Its three days later when he actually gets the time to use it, but the first check mark on his list brings about a certain feeling of euphoria that he recognizes quite well, though even his purchase of Green Lantern #49 has never resulted in as strong a feeling as this.
>>>>>>>>
He is in Germany when he sees her. It’s rather odd as the latest he had heard was that she was filming in Canada. Still it could have been a clever ploy by the studio or perhaps she was taking a vacation from the set. Germany was always nice in late May. Making up his mind, Sheldon headed towards her table in the outdoor café.
“Hello, Penny.”
The woman looks back at him with a hint of confusion and then returns to her coffee.
“Penny, its me, Dr. Sheldon Cooper. You were briefly married to my roommate,” he adds in an attempt to jog her memory.
She looks at him fully now and as she does, he can see he has made a grave error. “Oh, I mistook you for someone else. Good day.”
As he turns the woman touches his arm lightly, then asks in German who he had mistaken her for. Sheldon explains to her exactly who he had mistaken her for. Actress, friend, confidante…A hypothesis begins to develop.
>>>>
“Sheldon Cooper! You haven’t even send her an e-mail?”
The outburst shocks him so badly he drops the spoon into his bowl of soup, causing his shirt to receive a small bath.
“As I had explained to you earlier I was not quite aware of the depth of our relationship until recently. I had assumed us friends, but did not realize the strength of it. It would seem-”
“It would seem this is the one that got away, Sheldon,” his mother says, effectively cutting him off with a shrewd stare.
“This is not about that, Mother. This is about two friends simply catching up. I’m certain that once that happens everything will be status quo.”
“Your father did used to sneak by your Meemaw’s house late at night with nothing’ but a couple cans attached to string. He’d talk to me till I fell asleep for three weeks straight. Eventually she invited him to the house.”
“Yes, well, my needs are completely different, but I am certain I can come up with some way to contact her.”
His mother just smiles knowingly back at him and says, “Honey, your father was dumb as a brick, but he was able to figure something out. I‘m sure you can too.”
>>>>>
It takes longer than he expected. It even takes Wolowitz, which he will never admit to another soul. Still, he finds her address and that is all that matters. The first letter he sends her is succinct.
Dear Penny,
I apologize for not having kept in contact. I did not have a forwarding address. How are you?
Sincerely,
Dr. Sheldon Cooper
Its two months later when he gets a response from Penny. A two page response that updates him on what she has been doing since they last met, most of which he knew. It is comforting to him though. He sleeps better that night than he has in quite a while.
>>>>>
The letter exchanges become more frequent over the next year, she even sends him a valentine at one point, which he places on his refrigerator. He invites her to be his date to Missy and Raj’s wedding, promising that she would find it most entertaining to see Raj sign through his vows. Penny has to turn him down, but begs him to record it and send her a copy. Enclosed in her letter is a rather large ticket to the premier of her newest film with a small sticky note attached that simply says, ‘Be my date, Moonpie?’
He checks his schedule, then rechecks it. Everything works out. He wonders if this is what heroin users go through. The initial ecstasy followed by the need for more and more. Is it possible to become addicted to a person?
>>>>>
Everything starts to spiral faster and faster following his first visit with Penny in many, many years. The letters are not more frequent, but there is more depth to them. He does not dream of kisses or ballroom dances. He is not a child. Instead he dreams of being a Nobel Prize winner and finding adventure with his blonde, attractive female bodyguard. He does not plumb the depths of his mind for meaning in this, he simply enjoys it.
Its Missy that brings what is happening out in the open for all to see. It is first just a visit between twins and his brother-in-law until she sees an open letter and an open envelope lying on the table.
“Who is that from, Shelly?” Missy asks in a teasing manner. She is almost completely certain it’s some brainy science group, but when he replies with ‘Penny’ she is out of her seat and the letter in her hands before he can blink.
“Hey-”
“Missy, don’t read his letter.”
Sheldon turns back to see Raj staring back at him with a knowing grin. “When did you sta-”
“Oh my God, Shelly! Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Penny and I are writing letters. Now please give it back.”
Missy laughs. “Oh no, honey. We’re going to have to talk about this. “
“They are letters, personal, private letters. When did Raj start speaking around you?”
“After the wedding,” Missy says dismissively. “Now what about this? Don’t tell me ya’ll are just friends either, Shelly. I’ve seen the way you write your friends. None of them write you something like this.”
Sheldon feels that something is about to happen and he is not sure he likes it at all. “It is a letter from a friend and nothing more.”
“Dude, I think she likes you,” Raj teases from behind him, which brings an even bigger smile to Missy’s face.
“No,” Sheldon says, though it fails even him. “I am relatively certain she does not even like me.”
“Allow me to disprove your theory,” Missy says with a sly grin.
>>>>>>
They meet for dinner in a small town in France, then Oklahoma. He is on edge each time despite his every precaution, but she never seems to notice. She is coming to Texas, her last text says so. The last letter gave him a date to meet up and he wonders if he should… He arranges a small vase of flowers, then puts dinner on. Simple. He passes the next few hours watching the television show she was a part of. Its hours before he receives another text message. Half an hour later there are headlights approaching his window.
He stands at the screen door and waits with baited breath.
Author: phil_urich
Rating/Warnings: PG
Word Count: 4000
Summary: Sheldon’s journey of discovery takes place over several years.
A remix of ishie‘s Warm Gulf Wind based on
this prompt: “Sheldon is going peacefully on with his usual routine while Penny
is going through events in the original story. But lots of details shows he
thinks of her and wonders what will happen next.” Thanks to bk03 for the quick beta job!
He can almost hear the air conditioner humming in the silence that follows his admittedly simply request. His “superior” is staring blankly at him as if expecting him to suddenly smile and say, ‘Bazinga’. He waits this out, rather than listing off all the reasons this man should probably just be a research assistant. If Penny or his mother have taught him anything, it’s that sometimes it’s better if he is quiet if he wants to get his way.
“You want to make another trip out to Antarctica?”
Sheldon tenses ever so slightly at the question. He hates the tone of Gablehauser’s voice. He’s already gotten the grant approved and the equipment. All he really needs is the school’s approval. It’s backwards from the usual route, but there are times- “Yes,” he replies, just barely keeping it from becoming a bark.
“Forgive me, but you do recall what happened on your last trip, correct?” Dr. Gablehauser asks, the very picture of parental concern in his leather office chair and tailored suit, glasses set to the side.
“I do, which is why I requested that I be allowed to go alone. I know that there will be other researchers at the camp conducting experiments,” he barely says the last word without smirking or rolling his eyes. The other experiments focus on sub-degree temperatures and darkness and really, how do people like that convince people to give them money for experiments like that. “I don’t believe our schedules will be conflicting.”
Dr. Gablehauser leans back in his chair and turns to the side, his eyes going skywards as if asking the Heavens for some sort of advice. Sheldon dislikes the man just a little more as he scrunches himself further into the chair he‘s managed to squeeze his lanky frame into. His eyes scan the relatively bare office, till they settle on the statue of a javelin thrower on Gablehauser’s desk. He tries to calculate the distance of the javelin based on the angle of the javelin from the ground and an estimation of the speed and strength of the javelin thrower based on the thrower’s pose. Then he recites the periodic table
backwards in his head. “This wouldn’t have anything to do with your roommate’s upcoming nuptials would it?”
He stops at Argon. “Pardon?”
“Your roommate, Dr. Hofstadter. This doesn’t have anything to do with his upcoming wedding. I realize that the man did assist in ruining your last trip out there, but isn’t it time to let bygones be bygones?”
“Dr. Gablehauser, the conditions are perfect for the experiments I have decided on. I have wished Leonard and Penny a wonderful life together and gifted them with a crockpot. I believe my obligations to them are complete.”
Dr. Gablehauser rolls his eyes and appears to want to say something, but changes his mind. “Far be it from me to pry into your social life, Dr. Cooper. Enjoy your time in Antarctica,” he says as he signs off on the paperwork.”
“I will, thank you,” Sheldon says as he feels the tension finally leaving his
body.
>>>>>>
The pilot awakens him from his valium induced sleep shortly after they land. He tries to stand, but falls back in his chair, a laugh bubbling forth as he does so. An hour later he is awoken again, this time by the driver. He does not remember having gotten in the “Snocat” .
“You don’t have to go in, but you can’t stay here,” the driver says with a gesture at the icy landscape. Miles upon miles of ice spread as far as the eye can see. Beauty, madness, all Sheldon can see is the possibility.
He stands and takes his bags, lowering them to the snowy land with a dull thud. The research outpost is a gray box with a few lights decorating the outside in case a plane should need to find them. The driver starts in on the diatribe about what to do and what not to do.
Sheldon interrupts him. “I’ve been here before. Two years ago.”
The driver does a double take at that. “What are you doing back here, then?”
“I have work to do.” He starts to go into the intricacies of the environment and his experiment, reassuring himself of its promise while educating a man who does not seem to want anything more than to get out of dry, gusty winds and overbearing cold.
>>>>
Sheldon avoids the other researchers as much as possible-which is not difficult as many of them usually sleep by day and are up at night. His plan is to do nothing but eat, work and sleep. With eat and sleep not being too much of a priority.
It’s his own fault really. He is obsessive, but there’s never been a compulsion, just a want. He starts to wake later, he watches Leonard and Penny’s wedding from the safety of his bunk, but the reception seems to be much worse than normal. His sister glares ever so briefly at the camera as if knowing that he is watching them. Penny is well-attired for the wedding and walks slowly down the aisle. He never makes it to the nuptials though. The reception is much too rough and besides, he already knows the outcome.
Eventually loneliness begins to set in. His mother emails him and suggests putting pictures of his friends up to give him something to remind him of home. The idea is ridiculous. Pictures would only serve to increase the loneliness, by reminding him of ties he has left behind. Besides the only Polaroid he has is an autographed headshot of Penny. It had been given in jest, but he had never been one to throw away things, no matter how pointless they might have been. The headshot is placed on the wall near his bunk. He wonders if there might not be something wrong with him. He makes it a point to not speak to the picture. That would be pushing things.
This rule is broken a few times, usually just before he falls asleep. Sometimes he sings Soft Kitty, other times he attempts to rationalize her relationship with Leonard, but can never quiet seem to convince himself. He hopes that things work out, that her magical fantasy comes true, but he honestly cannot see it ever happening and it makes him just a little down. He never had an alternative for her, only a conclusion. He starts to think of alternatives in between his experiments, but after the completion of his work in Antarctica he has not come up with any.
>>>>>
The plane sets down in New York City due to a summer storm. Gray clouds and flashes of lightning reflect on the window of the terminal glass as he walks with several others, attempting not to flinch as the sound of thunder reverberates inside the small hallway. The airport is everything Sheldon has ever feared the city would be. People pressed shoulder to shoulder, loud and every bit as harsh as it could be. Logic would deem that its due to their fear of the incoming storm, the loss of flight time, being separated from their families, and a litany of other things. All of which he could empathize with if they would just stop touching him for a moment.
Every bathroom is clogged, every seat taken. It’s a total of 33 minutes before he reaches the front doors of the airport and walks outside. Without thinking he walks to the nearest cab, pauses to wipe down the seat of and climbs inside. When the driver asks where he wants to go Sheldon barks out the name of a hotel. It’s not till the next morning, when he no longer feels like the world is coming down around him, that he remembers that Penny had been the one to tell
him about this hotel.
An app on his phone lets him know that many of the planes will be grounded for the day, so he simply has the desk add on another night to his stay, knowing that the university will pay for it. He spends most of the day reading over his research, correcting sentences, though never exaggerating it. He makes phone calls to his work and writes an email to the grant administrators and in the end he comes up with a brilliant idea. He will work from home from now on.
>>>>>>>>
“Its really so simple. I’m amazed that I didn’t think of it before. Granted the school won‘t be too happy about it at first, but I feel I can convince them,” Sheldon says as he browses the racks of magazines in the hotel’s shop.
“To allow you to work from home?” Marty asks. Marty is 34 and been the manager of this shop for three of those years. He has never met someone like the man browsing the shelves in front of him.
“Precisely. I rarely ever use the other lab equipment and on the days that I do I’ll simply go into work.”
“Sounds like a plan.”
“Oh, I wouldn’t go that far. Merely a series of emails and I’m sure everything will be fine. Do you happen to have any brochures for local plays or musicals?”
“You plan to act from home?” Marty kids, but the gentleman just gives him an odd
look.
“No, its for a friend,” Sheldon says slowly as if speaking to a child.
Marty just nods his head. “Gotcha. At the front door there should be a whole thing of ‘em.”
“Excellent.”
>>>>
Dr. Gablehauser does not go for the idea, nor do the Department of Directors. Something about his ease of distraction. The findings of the Antarctica trip are impressive, but inconclusive. Leonard tries talking him out of it, but he stopped listening to Leonard a very long time ago. Howard calls him a genius, Raj calls him insane and Penny gives him a hug and asks if everything is alright. He resigns the next day and heads back home two weeks later without letting anyone know. There is something very, very wrong in his life and he cannot quantify it. It simply hurts his heart.
Sheldon finds himself locking the door behind him as he enters his old bedroom. Every bit of it is as exactly as he remembered it. The sheets still tucked in neatly, his collectables still exactly as he remembered them. Most people seem to believe that he simply became a “neat freak” of his own volition. Those people have never met his mother, never seen her ability to set things right or heard the silent prayers she utters when she sees anything even a bit dirty.
Everything is safer here, he thinks to himself as he lies down on the bed and sleeps like he will never wake up, as if there is no tomorrow.
But then there is Raj, poking him in the head. This has to be a dream.
“Raj, what are you doing here?”
Raj just gives him an uncertain smile and shrugs his shoulders.
“Raj, that hardly answers the question.”
“Oh, Sheldon. Quit badgering Raj and tell us what happened,” Missy says in that
demanding way of hers, hands on hips and a steely look in her eyes.
“I went to sleep, Missy,” Sheldon says as he slowly sits up, too tired to remind
either of them that this is his room and they should not be here.
“Yeah, Sheldon, a day ago. Momma thought something was wrong with you.”
Sheldon’s jaw tenses at the idea of something, anything, being wrong with him,
but he is certainly not going to let them know about it. “Raj, what are you
doing here?”
Raj’s face goes from innocent to guilty in a second.
“We’re datin‘, Shelly,” Missy says with a wry grin. Raj nods along, but does
not say anything else.
“I have to get dressed. You need to leave.”
Missy rolls her eyes, but taps Raj on the shoulder. “C’mon, boyfriend. Let’s
go tell Mama the good news.”
Sheldon waits till he hears the click of the door and Missy telling their mother
that ’Lazarus is back from the grave’ before he eases out of his bed. He has
never been one to deny himself knowledge of anything, especially not himself,
but right now he lets this slide.
>>>>
“Thanks for comin’ to the airport with me, Shelly,” Missy says, already turning away from the departing plane. While others would have stayed and watched as the plane disappeared, she is not one of them. Its something Sheldon admires in her, though he has always been the type to watch the plane’s departure to the very end, if only to complete the task.
“Well, seeing as I don’t have anything pressing to do right now,” he says glumly as they begin to leave.
This airport is much nicer than the one in New York City, smaller, less people. Raj left on a red eye, but none the less Sheldon will be booking all of his flights to depart and arrive from this airport when possible.
“You’ll have something soon, Shelly. I know it. You’re living with Mama and God knows she’ll drive you crazy.”
“I suppose I could do some research into selective mutism and find out what happened to Raj.”
“It ain’t that hard to figure out, Shelly. You offer up the right kinda prize and men’ll move mountains for it,” Missy says with a satisfied grin.
“But he still doesn’t speak.”
“He writes to me an’ for now that’s enough. Let’s talk about you though, Shelly. What happened in California?”
“I put forth a reasonable request that I be allowed to work from home and my employers turned me down, so I quit. Its very simple actually.”
Missy gives him a hard look at that. She has never been able to things impersonally. “Then what are you doing here?”
Sheldon does not answer.
“Was it Antarctica?”
“I hardly see how the two intertwine, Missy.”
“Was it something you watched, maybe? I know how change messes with you, Shelly, but Leonard and Penny…it was gonna happen, hon.”
“It has nothing to do with them. They have both made their choices and they seem to be quiet happy in their ignorance. Far be it from me to explain to them their folly for the ei-”
Missy hugs him before he can say anything else and in one of the few times in his life, Sheldon lets her, muttering a ‘There, there‘ under his breath, though a part of him wishes she would return the favor.
>>>>>
It’s two years later when things really start to change. He has long since moved out of his old home for a small home that’s only five miles away from his mother and sister. Close enough if they need him, but still far enough away for it to be his. He finds work at a local university nearly an hour away. The teaching is done mainly through the internet, something that allows him to teach any size of class, thankfully. Still, after a few complaints from the students and a demonstration of his genius as well as his ability to get funding for the school he is limited to one class a semester and allowed general access to the lab equipment as well as a personal driver.
Despite these changes nothing affects him as much as the magazine in the stand at his local Wendly’s, a chain of grocery stores that spread through his native homeland in his absence. It is a fashion rag, as his mother calls them, that catches his attention, though the name of said rag escapes him. He is stunned upon seeing Penny’s face on the cover of it. He has not spoken to her since he arrived home. To either of them really, though he has received the occasional email. He has been busy though. Raising research grants, occasionally visiting other universities to give lectures in person (no more than 30 at a time please).
Before he can even think about it, the magazine is purchased along with his week’s worth of groceries. When he arrives home he puts his groceries away, places the magazine on the coffee table his older brother gave him as a moving in gift. The table is utilitarian in looks and style, but it does everything he needs it to do. When that’s complete he awakens his computer and immediately begins to search Penny’s name.
He finds out about the acting jobs, the last three films, but nothing else about her save that she is using her family name again. He finds out about the divorce, but there is no feeling of victory upon seeing his initial hypothesis proven correct. None at all. After he has exhausted his search engine he sets about making a spreadsheet which lists every periodical she has ever been interviewed in or had her picture in. It takes the whole of the evening, much to his surprise, but in the end he feels a sense of accomplishment for the first time in a very long while.
Its three days later when he actually gets the time to use it, but the first check mark on his list brings about a certain feeling of euphoria that he recognizes quite well, though even his purchase of Green Lantern #49 has never resulted in as strong a feeling as this.
>>>>>>>>
He is in Germany when he sees her. It’s rather odd as the latest he had heard was that she was filming in Canada. Still it could have been a clever ploy by the studio or perhaps she was taking a vacation from the set. Germany was always nice in late May. Making up his mind, Sheldon headed towards her table in the outdoor café.
“Hello, Penny.”
The woman looks back at him with a hint of confusion and then returns to her coffee.
“Penny, its me, Dr. Sheldon Cooper. You were briefly married to my roommate,” he adds in an attempt to jog her memory.
She looks at him fully now and as she does, he can see he has made a grave error. “Oh, I mistook you for someone else. Good day.”
As he turns the woman touches his arm lightly, then asks in German who he had mistaken her for. Sheldon explains to her exactly who he had mistaken her for. Actress, friend, confidante…A hypothesis begins to develop.
>>>>
“Sheldon Cooper! You haven’t even send her an e-mail?”
The outburst shocks him so badly he drops the spoon into his bowl of soup, causing his shirt to receive a small bath.
“As I had explained to you earlier I was not quite aware of the depth of our relationship until recently. I had assumed us friends, but did not realize the strength of it. It would seem-”
“It would seem this is the one that got away, Sheldon,” his mother says, effectively cutting him off with a shrewd stare.
“This is not about that, Mother. This is about two friends simply catching up. I’m certain that once that happens everything will be status quo.”
“Your father did used to sneak by your Meemaw’s house late at night with nothing’ but a couple cans attached to string. He’d talk to me till I fell asleep for three weeks straight. Eventually she invited him to the house.”
“Yes, well, my needs are completely different, but I am certain I can come up with some way to contact her.”
His mother just smiles knowingly back at him and says, “Honey, your father was dumb as a brick, but he was able to figure something out. I‘m sure you can too.”
>>>>>
It takes longer than he expected. It even takes Wolowitz, which he will never admit to another soul. Still, he finds her address and that is all that matters. The first letter he sends her is succinct.
Dear Penny,
I apologize for not having kept in contact. I did not have a forwarding address. How are you?
Sincerely,
Dr. Sheldon Cooper
Its two months later when he gets a response from Penny. A two page response that updates him on what she has been doing since they last met, most of which he knew. It is comforting to him though. He sleeps better that night than he has in quite a while.
>>>>>
The letter exchanges become more frequent over the next year, she even sends him a valentine at one point, which he places on his refrigerator. He invites her to be his date to Missy and Raj’s wedding, promising that she would find it most entertaining to see Raj sign through his vows. Penny has to turn him down, but begs him to record it and send her a copy. Enclosed in her letter is a rather large ticket to the premier of her newest film with a small sticky note attached that simply says, ‘Be my date, Moonpie?’
He checks his schedule, then rechecks it. Everything works out. He wonders if this is what heroin users go through. The initial ecstasy followed by the need for more and more. Is it possible to become addicted to a person?
>>>>>
Everything starts to spiral faster and faster following his first visit with Penny in many, many years. The letters are not more frequent, but there is more depth to them. He does not dream of kisses or ballroom dances. He is not a child. Instead he dreams of being a Nobel Prize winner and finding adventure with his blonde, attractive female bodyguard. He does not plumb the depths of his mind for meaning in this, he simply enjoys it.
Its Missy that brings what is happening out in the open for all to see. It is first just a visit between twins and his brother-in-law until she sees an open letter and an open envelope lying on the table.
“Who is that from, Shelly?” Missy asks in a teasing manner. She is almost completely certain it’s some brainy science group, but when he replies with ‘Penny’ she is out of her seat and the letter in her hands before he can blink.
“Hey-”
“Missy, don’t read his letter.”
Sheldon turns back to see Raj staring back at him with a knowing grin. “When did you sta-”
“Oh my God, Shelly! Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Penny and I are writing letters. Now please give it back.”
Missy laughs. “Oh no, honey. We’re going to have to talk about this. “
“They are letters, personal, private letters. When did Raj start speaking around you?”
“After the wedding,” Missy says dismissively. “Now what about this? Don’t tell me ya’ll are just friends either, Shelly. I’ve seen the way you write your friends. None of them write you something like this.”
Sheldon feels that something is about to happen and he is not sure he likes it at all. “It is a letter from a friend and nothing more.”
“Dude, I think she likes you,” Raj teases from behind him, which brings an even bigger smile to Missy’s face.
“No,” Sheldon says, though it fails even him. “I am relatively certain she does not even like me.”
“Allow me to disprove your theory,” Missy says with a sly grin.
>>>>>>
They meet for dinner in a small town in France, then Oklahoma. He is on edge each time despite his every precaution, but she never seems to notice. She is coming to Texas, her last text says so. The last letter gave him a date to meet up and he wonders if he should… He arranges a small vase of flowers, then puts dinner on. Simple. He passes the next few hours watching the television show she was a part of. Its hours before he receives another text message. Half an hour later there are headlights approaching his window.
He stands at the screen door and waits with baited breath.