Meme Time! Finally - Support

[sharya]

You comment to my post asking for five words. I will give you five words that I think of when I think of you. You will post them to your blog and post what those words make you think of, in depth.

theafaye gave me: editing, beach, cats, commitment, support

SupportI have two versions of "support" upon which I'd like to elaborate here - one with regards to

Comments

[theafaye]

I am EXACTLY the same as you when it comes to supporting friends. I am not an unconditional yes man - if I think that someone is doing something daft, I'll question it to understand it and if I disagree with what that person is saying, I'll say so...

...and then move on and let them make their own way. It's not my place to tell someone what to do and if it does all go horribly wrong, I'll be there to support them because that's what friends do - support each other through thick and thin. Just recently, there was someone who felt that because I don't unconditionally go YAY to every single thing that they do, therefore I look down on them, which isn't true. I don't look down on anyone for doing things differently the way that I do. I just won't say that every single thing is good when you can see a train wreck waiting to happen on the horizon.

[sharya]

Yup, it will be unlikely people will get unconditional yeses from me either. I believe (although I'm not positive) that this may be one of the reasons I lost someone I considered a very good friend earlier this year, although when the comments came out, it appeared that she had never really considered me a good friend, so perhaps the end was for the best if it was so one-sided. Lop-sided relationships (including friendships) tend not to work

[theafaye]

That sounds a little passive aggressive on her part, that she just wanted to get a dig in because she could, you know "well I never really liked you anyway, so NER

[xo_kizzy_xo]

See, there's a reason why both you and Thea are on my FL ;)

I'm very much like your sister in that 1) I'm very unsure of myself when it comes to decision-making because 2) I've never had anyone question me like your dad did (in fact, my opinions and such were always dismissed because "oh, she's just a kid"). 3) Because I lacked that external questioning force and because I was never taken seriously, I've always looked toward others for reinforcement. In other words, I have no idea if my decisions are valid/sound because I lack that inner "whatever". Do you know what I mean?

As for Idol -- I've taken away votes too, especially from somebody whom I support but isn't in danger of elimination.

[sharya]

I do know exactly what you mean. You know, it might be helpful to develop a series of questions to ask yourself, for each major decision. Then whenever you have doubts, you can go through your list and be confident you chose what's best for you :)

Constantly analysing and questioning my own decisions (as well as those of others) has been great in so far as providing me with confidence in myself and my ability to make decisions. While my sister would disagree that I shouldn't question myself so much, I personally find it to be extraordinarily helpful.

[sharya]

Hey! I didn't get this comment notification!

I'm really glad that's how I've come across. I've just not felt great about what happened earlier this year where I lost a friend, and I've been questioning a lot since then. Although I'm hoping I might get some resolution to that issue at some point in the not-too-distant future, so we'll see. At least some clarification and level-headed discussion would be supremely helpful.

If at any time I appear to cross a line (with you or anyone else that you've notice), please let me know! I'd rather evaluate my behaviour and address it, rather than lose friends over being careless in my word choices.