There's a Moon in The Sky
Title: There's a Moon in The Sky
Pairing: Yoochun x Yoohwan
Rating: R
Warning: INCEST, INCEST, INCEST; boy and boy relationship
Disclaimer: I do not own DBSK/JYJ
Summary: Off-shot from Half of The Moon. Yoochun knew it was not right. Yoohwan was not only a male, he was also his brother. But who was Yoochun, to ignore the fluttering of his heart whenever he saw Yoohwan?
Author's Note: For tachikoma29 Beta-ed byharunotenshi
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There’s a Moon in the Sky
By: Sharl
Yoochun knew it was not right. Yoohwan was not only a male, he was also his brother. But who was Yoochun, to ignore the fluttering of his heart whenever he saw Yoohwan?
“Hyung!”
Yoochun turned around at his brother’s voice. Yoohwan was walking towards him, a big bright smile on his face and all Yoochun could think about was how beautiful his brother was. He was carrying two heavy looking books, probably one of his textbooks. Yoohwan was pursuing a degree in Political Science, a weird choice of career for a werewolf but Yoochun didn’t mind that. As long as Yoohwan was happy, Yoochun was also happy.
Yoohwan was five years younger than him, and probably didn’t need to be taken care of like how Yoochun took care of him. He was a grown up, fully capable of taking care of himself. And yet Yoochun continued to treat him like he was the most precious thing in the world.
He is the most precious thing in the world, he’s our mate, a voice in Yoochun’s head said.
Yoochun reprimanded his wolf immediately. What are you doing? Shut up. Nobody can know about that. It was a dangerous thought. As a part of a werewolf’s pack, Yoochun’s mind was constantly connected to the pack bond. If he was not careful every wolf in the pack could hear his thoughts. And that included Yoohwan.
He didn’t want to think what would happen if the pack knew that he loved his brother.
Or to be more precise, he didn’t want Yoohwan to know that Yoochun loved him as more than a brother should. He buried those desires deep, built iron gates around them so that no one knew.
“Hyung? Are you alright?” Yoohwan’s sweet voice brought him back to reality. Yoochun looked up to see Yoohwan’s worried face looking at him. He was frowning, concern was clearly shown on his face and Yoochun wanted nothing more than to kiss the frown away.
But he couldn’t do that. And so he did the next best thing. He smiled at his brother and lied. “Yes I’m fine. Sorry, just spaced out a bit. What’s up?”
The smile on his face was forced. His ‘next best thing’ was so pitiful it brought a painful lurch to Yoochun’s heart. He yearned to tell Yoohwan the truth, to kiss those tempting lips and smooth out the worries, to mate with his brother.
Yoohwan didn’t look convinced, or perhaps it was Yoochun’s selfish will to not be so convincing. They gazed at each other and Yoochun prayed his eyes told a different story than his mind. In the end, Yoohwan nodded. “Okay, if you say so,” he said. “I just thought to say that I might come home late tonight, got plenty of papers and group studies to be done, so don’t wait up for me and eat something healthy okay? Full moon will be here soon.”
Even those caring words brought warmth to Yoochun’s heart. He managed to smile genuinely this time. “Don’t worry about me. And you, you should eat healthy food too. Still got enough money on you? I can give you more.”
He was about to reach for his wallet when Yoohwan protested. “Hyung, I still have money. You gave me more than enough last Monday. I’m not a child, I can take care of my expenses.”
Yoochun pretended he didn’t hear the protest. Because really, if he didn’t treat Yoohwan as a child, he might see him in a more equal point of view and that might lead to dangerous thoughts. Besides, it felt reassuring to pretend that Yoohwan still needed him. He didn’t know if he could endure the day when Yoohwan finally won’t need him anymore.
So Yoochun took out few bills and shoved them to his brother’s jeans before Yoohwan could say anything. “Humor me,” Yoochun said with a smile. “Please, I’d feel better knowing you can eat whatever you want even when I’m not with you.”
Yoohwan was still frowning, but Yoochun knew he was thinking about it. Finally Yoohwan smiled, a smile so beautiful Yoochun’s heart tightened painfully in his chest. “Alright then. Thanks, hyung. I need to go now or I’ll be late. Love you!”
Yoochun stared at his brother’s retreating back. “Love you more,” he whispered into the wind.
He meant every word.
Their pack was not the biggest pack of wolves there was, but it was certainly one of the most vicious. Yoochun didn’t remember what his life, their lives were, before joining this pack. It had been so long ago, he didn’t even remember who his parents were. They died when he was only in junior high and Yoohwan was still in elementary school and since then Yoochun had been the one taking care of his brother.
The wolves came one day and the Alpha said that they could live a better life as werewolves. Yoochun had agreed, not knowing that not every human survived the transformation. Thankfully, both he and Yoohwan did and since then they had joined this pack.
At first it was not so bad. Everyone was fearful of the Alpha and respected each other’s privacy. The pack’s bond was only used during the full moon hunt and because of that no one knew what Yoochun really felt about his brother. And for that Yoochun was grateful.
The first realization about his forbidden desires towards his brother was when Yoochun dreamed of him one night. He had dreamed about their mating, how Yoohwan writhed so beautifully under him as Yoochun fucked him, how soft Yoohwan’s skin was as Yoochun kissed every inch of him, how pleasurable it was for them both to finally mate. When he woke up that night, Yoochun was so horrified and scared until he had almost lost control.
Fortunately Yoohwan was not sleeping beside him that night or else Yoochun would’ve claimed him right then and there.
He had locked himself in their room the next day, claiming that he was not feeling well. His Alpha didn’t give Yoochun’s request a second thought and granted his appeal to be left alone. And since the Alpha himself had agreed, no one dared to disobey him. By the time Yoohwan returned, Yoochun had realized that what he felt was not to be known to anyone.
He had locked, barred and buried his feelings so deep that not even his wolf could reach it.
A wolf in their pack found a mate.
For Yoochun, it didn’t mean a thing; but for Yoohwan, he was excited. He had never seen newly-mated pair of werewolves before.
Between the two of them, Yoochun was more dominant and so their Alpha only explained briefly about mates to Yoochun. And because he didn’t feel it necessary, Yoochun only told Yoohwan the basic knowledge. And so Yoohwan was full with questions when he saw for the first time what it meant to have a mate and all the changes that a pair of newly mated wolves might experience.
Yoochun had no choice and but to explain to him the changes in dominance. He told Yoohwan that every wolf had their own mates since the day they became werewolves, but the realization might come later than sooner for some. It all differed between one wolf to another.
He told Yoohwan of the fact that if a wolf had found his mate, that mate would become the most important person in his life.
Yoohwan’s reaction, however, was unexpected. “Does that mean… are you going to leave me?” Yoohwan’s eyes were wide and fearful.
Of all the possible responses, why did Yoohwan have to say that? It only gave Yoochun false hope. He swallowed hard. “No, but I’m just saying that someday we’ll both find our mates. You will find yours, and you’ll be so happy.”
He didn’t dare to say that he knew Yoohwan’s mate was him. What would Yoohwan’s reaction be other than disgust? They were a pair of freaks. Who the hell had heard of werewolves’ incest? The pack would shun them and Yoochun knew he’d rather be dead than make Yoohwan unhappy.
But Yoohwan looked unhappy now. And it was all Yoochun’s fault. “I’m happy now,” Yoohwan said. “You’re here, beside me. And Hyung, that’s all that makes me happy.”
Yoochun tried very very hard not to look at those words with deeper meaning. Even when his wolf was yapping and howling happily, Yoochun was determined not to let it cloud his judgment. Yoohwan didn’t mean anything by it. He was just expressing his love for Yoochun as a brother.
So Yoochun just smiled. He touched Yoohwan’s cheek, caressing the soft skin. “I’m glad I can still make you happy.”
He pretended he did not see the disappointment that crossed his brother’s features, thinking that maybe it was because he didn’t say that Yoohwan also made him happy. Yoochun had sworn that he would not be tempted by hanging onto false hopes. There was no way Yoohwan would accept his own brother as his mate.
Werewolves had mates, but it didn’t mean that every werewolf was lucky enough to find and be accepted by their mate. Yoochun had seen examples of werewolves who got rejected by their mates and most of them always ended up killing themselves.
However he understood that. There was nothing more painful than your mate rejecting you. Some wolves chose death as an escape, a very respectable death in Yoochun’s opinion. It sounded painfully romantic, to die because of love but it’s foolish at the same time. And Yoochun was a foolish man.
“You will always make me happy hyung, just stay here and don’t go anywhere. Please.”
Yoochun looked up to see Yoohwan staring at him. There were so many emotions in his younger brother’s eyes: hope, fear, insecurity, love. The older man swallowed heavily. There was no way, no way Yoohwan was saying what he thinks he was saying. There was no way Yoohwan would see him that way.
But when Yoohwan leaned in, he put their foreheads pressed together, and whispered, “Stay here hyung, with me. Forever.”
And just like that, against what his brain had screamed at him, Yoochun’s heart allowed itself to have a little bit of hope.
When Yoohwan was finally graduating from his university, Yoochun had saved up enough money for them to go to a snowboarding trip together. Before they became werewolves, the two of them used to go swimming together, but they couldn’t anymore since werewolves couldn’t swim. Snowboarding was a good enough replacement. Yoochun in particular, knew that Yoohwan loved snow. And whatever made Yoohwan happy, made Yoochun happy.
They rented a little cabin and lit the fireplace. Yoohwan was in a strange mood. He seemed happy but nervous at the same time. Every time Yoochun asked if there was anything wrong, Yoohwan would only smile and shake his head, but didn’t say anything else. So Yoochun just smiled back and nodded.
He was reading a book in the living room that night when Yoohwan came and gave him a cup of cocoa. Yoochun shot his brother a grateful smile. The night could be very cold and the hot drink would be a perfect compliment.
What he didn’t expect was that Yoohwan chose to sit next to him, very very close until their thighs were pressed together. Yoochun’s wolf immediately howled at the back of his mind, and he had to take a deep breath to control his wolf.
The feeling of Yoohwan’s skin touching his was amazing. It made Yoochun feel lightheaded. All coherent thought flew from his mind. There was only one thing he wanted to do right now and that was to claim his mate. He was very sure his eyes were tinted with gold now.
Thankfully, before instinct took over, the little bit of sanity he had left gave him some semblance of control. Yoochun swallowed heavily and tried to scoot a bit further, creating some space between him and Yoohwan. He pretended he did not recognize the disappointment on Yoohwan’s face.
They stayed quiet like that for a while, neither of them seem content nor displeased with the heavy atmosphere. They were just like children: awkward, unsure and Yoochun berated himself. This wasn’t supposed to be like this. This trip was supposed to celebrate Yoohwan’s graduation; the man had worked really hard until he could graduate. Yoochun knew Yoohwan had been looking forward for this trip since months ago. They were supposed to have fun.
Yoochun was halfway down to drink all his chocolates when he saw Yoohwan move. The man was just stretching his arms, but it was enough for Yoochun to be up on his feet instantly. “I’m going to get us some biscuits,” he said as an excuse.
The truth was that he just wanted to get away from his brother. He couldn’t take this. His wolf couldn’t take this. Sooner or later Yoochun would lose control and his wolf would’ve jumped at the opportunity like a starved man.
He was only four, five steps away when Yoohwan’s sweet voice stopped him in his tracks. Yoochun carefully turned around to face his brother and their eyes met. There was a curiosity, embarrassment, nervousness and trepidation shining from the younger’s eyes. “Hyung, I know what you’re thinking. And…,” Yoohwan licked his lips unsurely, “I want it too.”
To say that Yoochun was shocked was an understatement. His logic did funny things to his brain and somehow it still managed to point out snidely that what Yoohwan meant was not biscuits. The way Yoohwan said it, his expression, those were enough to make Yoochun understand what his brother really meant.
Oh dear lord. This trip was not supposed to be like this.
His wolf of course wasn’t complaining, in fact he was howling rather excitedly. But what little sanity Yoochun had left shone like a beacon through his confused brain and Yoochun hung on to it like a lifeline. He swallowed again, lips suddenly dry. “What… what are you saying?”
He needed the confirmation. What if Yoochun was just reading into things too deeply? What if Yoohwan didn’t mean what he thought he meant?
Yoohwan took a step closer and Yoochun stayed glued on his spot. He wanted to move back, to create some distance between him and his brother because this was not happening but his feet refused to move. They were not obeying what his brain was screaming at him. And when Yoohwan stood in front of him, body pressed closed enough for Yoochun to feel the other’s body heat, Yoochun very nearly groaned in pleasure. Yoohwan’s scent was intoxicating. It made Yoochun’s head spin that he almost didn’t hear what Yoohwan said next.
“I know you’re my mate. I…I realized it a couple of months ago and at first I was so scared. But then I watched you and I knew you’ve known about it longer than I did and it’s killing me that you won’t do anything about it. Am I that unattractive that you don’t want to claim me?”
“No! You’re not unattractive!” The words flew from his mouth before Yoochun could even think to stop it. Yoochun realized that he didn’t actually deny anything that Yoohwan had said about them being mates. He later found out that Yoohwan had caught on it when the latter relaxed a bit.
A beautiful, small smile blossomed on Yoohwan’s eyes. Yoochun felt his heart being mended little by little seeing that smile. “Then why are you not doing anything?” He seemed amused now, and Yoochun didn’t know what to think of it. An amused Yoohwan usually meant a happy Yoochun, but right now he felt that maybe happiness was something he never dreamed of.
But when Yoohwan leaned in, pressed their foreheads together again and pecked his lips, Yoochun knew happiness was not that far away. It was actually within his reach, quite literally. He could hear Yoohwan’s soft breath ghosting on his skin and the warm after-feel on his own lips.
The reality caught on with him and so did the consequences. Yoohwan was his mate. Yoochun was Yoohwan’s mate. And they were brothers.
That last word was the heavyweight that brought Yoochun back to the low ground below. Yoohwan had said that he wanted this too, but was he ready? Were they both ready? “This is a sin,” Yoochun whispered against what his heart wanted.
Yoohwan shook his head. “No, we are werewolves, we are animals. And animals don’t know sin, do they?”
Yoochun found he couldn’t argue. Or perhaps he didn’t want to argue. He leaned in slowly, pressed their lips together and kissed his brother.
They mated that night.
No one from their pack was suspicious even when they can smell Yoochun’s scent on Yoohwan. Maybe it was because the brothers were always together and they just thought Yoochun hugged his brother for too long and was just feeling protective.
However things started to go downhill during the full moon. There was an argument in the pack regarding who would take the last meat during hunt, like it always did. The Alpha was supposed to be the one who keeps everyone in the line, but Yoochun’s Alpha was always a bit vague with the little details. He didn’t want to be bothered and as long as the rest of the pack respected him, it was enough.
That night, Yoochun was able to challenge the Third, and the pack knew then that Yoochun’s dominance had changed. There was only one explanation for that: Yoochun must have found a mate. It didn’t take a genius to put the missing puzzle pieces together since the only smell they can smell on Yoochun was that of his brother’s.
The first attack came like lightning, Yoochun couldn’t dodge it fast enough and the Second’s teeth sunk in his neck. Yoohwan acted fast and bit the Second’s leg. And before half the wolves in the pack realized what was happening, the brothers ran away. They ran and ran and ran, with the rest of the pack following close behind them. A few times the pack managed to get a teeth or two in Yoohwan, but Yoochun was able to fend off the attacks.
They ran blindly, just going deeper and deeper into the forest until finally they crossed the stream and went into another pack’s territory. Neither Yoochun nor Yoohwan knew the Alpha in this other pack, but they were just hoping, hoping and hoping that perhaps this Alpha was kind enough to let them cross his territory without having any permission at first.
Just as Yoochun had thought, his pack stopped across the stream. They didn’t dare to cross it as they didn’t want to start any fighting with another pack. And only then Yoochun took a good look at his own body and at Yoohwan’s. Both of them were covered with blood. Teeth marks and bite marks ripped their skins.
Adrenaline finally wearing off, the exhaustion kicked in full force. They lay down under a huge cedar tree because they didn’t, couldn’t run anymore. They didn’t have any energy left, particularly Yoohwan who wasn’t used to so much running. He whimpered in pain and Yoochun felt like he wanted to cry.
Why why why didn’t they think things through? They knew the Alpha wouldn’t want to have incestuous werewolves in the pack but why did they still mate anyway? Why couldn’t they control themselves better? Why didn’t Yoochun control himself better?
Because we love each other, Yoohwan said into their mate bond.
Yoochun whined. Their love was horrible. And right now he hated that love. It’s because of that love that had Yoohwan injured, and some of the gashes on his body were so deep that Yoohwan couldn’t breathe properly. Yoochun could only stare helplessly as his brother fought to stay conscious. He hated this, he hated what he had done.
Yoohwan’s sweet voice came through their bond. Hyung, don’t be like that. If this is the consequence, I’m happy that at least we managed to have some happiness as mates.
But it shouldn’t be like this. It doesn’t make sense. It’s not fair.
He could hear Yoohwan chuckling. We are animals hyung, nothing make sense to us. It’s only what it is.
Somehow, someway, through their mate bond, Yoochun could feel his brother’s life begin to fade. He was losing blood too much and too fast. Yoochun whimpered. No no no dongsaeng, no please. Don’t leave me here. Focus on my voice. I love you. Be here with me.
It was a scary feeling. His brother, his mate, his most beloved person was dying. Yoochun knew then that if Yoohwan really died, he himself would commit suicide. There was no way he could survive living without his brother. Because really, what’s the point of that?
Suddenly there were the smell of other werewolves. In the midst of his pain and sadness, Yoochun realized this must be the other pack. They had smelled the blood and came. There was only one thing to do now and Yoochun was willing to try it. He didn’t have anything to lose anyway. He looked up to see a really tall wolf with grey fur standing in front of them.
“Please,” Yoochun begged through his tears, “help my brother, he’s not going to survive if you don’t help him. Please.”
The grey wolf’s name was Yunho and he was the Alpha of this other pack. It was a really small pack. Other than the Alpha and his mate, there were only two other wolves: a young white wolf and another one with dark brown fur. But they were all very kind, or at least the Alpha was and what Alpha said always ruled.
They bandaged Yoohwan’s wounds to stop the bleeding and fed Yoochun some meat. They even took Yoohwan to the hospital to have blood transfusion when he wasn’t improving as fast as he should and Yoochun wondered how the Alpha’s mate managed to convince the nurse that Yoohwan was attacked by bears to explain the bleeding.
Yoochun felt touched. He didn’t think his old pack would even go that far and yet these wolves did this to strangers. They hardly knew Yoochun and Yoohwan and really, lying bloodied and dying wasn’t the best way to make good first impression.
When Yoohwan was not in danger anymore, and when his sleep was a healing sleep, only by then Yoochun walked towards Yunho and said his thanks. “I don’t know how to repay you, but I promise I’ll try to. Please, tell me how. And we’ll soon be on our way after my brother has recovered.”
Yunho only looked at him and somehow it made Yoochun very small. “He’s more than just your brother, isn’t he?”
There was no point in denying that, so Yoochun nodded. “He’s my mate,” he whispered in small voice.
To his credit, Yunho only nodded in return. Yoochun didn’t know what to think of it. What did that mean? Perhaps Yunho was not as understanding as Yoochun had thought? Would he also attack them now that he had confirmed that they were incestuous werewolves?
Maybe the panic shown in his face because suddenly he could hear Yunho chuckled. “No I’m not going to attack you so please, relax. I’ve heard about incest mates before but never really encountered one and I don’t think the Marrock even has. You and your brother are unique and precious, and that’s all the more reason why I think you should join my pack.”
Yoochun blinked. “What?”
Yunho let out a small laugh. “I said: you should join my pack. You and your brother, both of you.”
The feeling of being wanted made Yoochun tear up a bit. However there was still one thing that bothered him. “But… what about the other wolves in your pack?” Although the Alpha had said that they should stay, it didn’t mean the other wolves would agree. They wouldn’t attack Yoochun and Yoohwan, but they might still act hostile and the last thing Yoochun wanted to do was to bring disturbance to this pack. They had been so nice to them.
“Well, I’d let my wolves decide that themselves, but I don’t think they will. Don’t you agree Jae?”
The Alpha’s mate smiled. “Yes, I personally would be honored to have you in our pack. As you can see, we are a really small pack and having you and your brother will be such a pleasure. But first,” he smiled wickedly, “I say we ask Donghae and Changmin to buy some more food. Are you still hungry Yoochun?”
“I can buy the food!” said Yoochun almost instantly. It was the last thing he could do and if he wasn’t mistaken, Changmin was the young white wolf. Yoochun only saw him briefly but he was sure that this Changmin was the Second. It was unheard of to ask the Second do menial errands like buying food.
However the Alpha’s mate just waved his hand carelessly. “Trust me, you want Changmin to buy the food otherwise he’ll complain about the lack of everything.” With that, the Alpha’s mate walked away, mumbling under his breath to find Changmin and Donghae.
Yoochun could only look at his new Alpha. He tried to find words that could convey his gratitude, but he found none. So he settled with saying thank you because really, what else could he say?
And then Yunho’s warm hand covered his. The smile was so gentle, so understanding. “We are a pack, and we protect our own. You’ll be safe with us, I promise you that.”
-End of Story-
Pairing: Yoochun x Yoohwan
Rating: R
Warning: INCEST, INCEST, INCEST; boy and boy relationship
Disclaimer: I do not own DBSK/JYJ
Summary: Off-shot from Half of The Moon. Yoochun knew it was not right. Yoohwan was not only a male, he was also his brother. But who was Yoochun, to ignore the fluttering of his heart whenever he saw Yoohwan?
Author's Note: For tachikoma29 Beta-ed byharunotenshi
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There’s a Moon in the Sky
By: Sharl
Yoochun knew it was not right. Yoohwan was not only a male, he was also his brother. But who was Yoochun, to ignore the fluttering of his heart whenever he saw Yoohwan?
“Hyung!”
Yoochun turned around at his brother’s voice. Yoohwan was walking towards him, a big bright smile on his face and all Yoochun could think about was how beautiful his brother was. He was carrying two heavy looking books, probably one of his textbooks. Yoohwan was pursuing a degree in Political Science, a weird choice of career for a werewolf but Yoochun didn’t mind that. As long as Yoohwan was happy, Yoochun was also happy.
Yoohwan was five years younger than him, and probably didn’t need to be taken care of like how Yoochun took care of him. He was a grown up, fully capable of taking care of himself. And yet Yoochun continued to treat him like he was the most precious thing in the world.
He is the most precious thing in the world, he’s our mate, a voice in Yoochun’s head said.
Yoochun reprimanded his wolf immediately. What are you doing? Shut up. Nobody can know about that. It was a dangerous thought. As a part of a werewolf’s pack, Yoochun’s mind was constantly connected to the pack bond. If he was not careful every wolf in the pack could hear his thoughts. And that included Yoohwan.
He didn’t want to think what would happen if the pack knew that he loved his brother.
Or to be more precise, he didn’t want Yoohwan to know that Yoochun loved him as more than a brother should. He buried those desires deep, built iron gates around them so that no one knew.
“Hyung? Are you alright?” Yoohwan’s sweet voice brought him back to reality. Yoochun looked up to see Yoohwan’s worried face looking at him. He was frowning, concern was clearly shown on his face and Yoochun wanted nothing more than to kiss the frown away.
But he couldn’t do that. And so he did the next best thing. He smiled at his brother and lied. “Yes I’m fine. Sorry, just spaced out a bit. What’s up?”
The smile on his face was forced. His ‘next best thing’ was so pitiful it brought a painful lurch to Yoochun’s heart. He yearned to tell Yoohwan the truth, to kiss those tempting lips and smooth out the worries, to mate with his brother.
Yoohwan didn’t look convinced, or perhaps it was Yoochun’s selfish will to not be so convincing. They gazed at each other and Yoochun prayed his eyes told a different story than his mind. In the end, Yoohwan nodded. “Okay, if you say so,” he said. “I just thought to say that I might come home late tonight, got plenty of papers and group studies to be done, so don’t wait up for me and eat something healthy okay? Full moon will be here soon.”
Even those caring words brought warmth to Yoochun’s heart. He managed to smile genuinely this time. “Don’t worry about me. And you, you should eat healthy food too. Still got enough money on you? I can give you more.”
He was about to reach for his wallet when Yoohwan protested. “Hyung, I still have money. You gave me more than enough last Monday. I’m not a child, I can take care of my expenses.”
Yoochun pretended he didn’t hear the protest. Because really, if he didn’t treat Yoohwan as a child, he might see him in a more equal point of view and that might lead to dangerous thoughts. Besides, it felt reassuring to pretend that Yoohwan still needed him. He didn’t know if he could endure the day when Yoohwan finally won’t need him anymore.
So Yoochun took out few bills and shoved them to his brother’s jeans before Yoohwan could say anything. “Humor me,” Yoochun said with a smile. “Please, I’d feel better knowing you can eat whatever you want even when I’m not with you.”
Yoohwan was still frowning, but Yoochun knew he was thinking about it. Finally Yoohwan smiled, a smile so beautiful Yoochun’s heart tightened painfully in his chest. “Alright then. Thanks, hyung. I need to go now or I’ll be late. Love you!”
Yoochun stared at his brother’s retreating back. “Love you more,” he whispered into the wind.
He meant every word.
Their pack was not the biggest pack of wolves there was, but it was certainly one of the most vicious. Yoochun didn’t remember what his life, their lives were, before joining this pack. It had been so long ago, he didn’t even remember who his parents were. They died when he was only in junior high and Yoohwan was still in elementary school and since then Yoochun had been the one taking care of his brother.
The wolves came one day and the Alpha said that they could live a better life as werewolves. Yoochun had agreed, not knowing that not every human survived the transformation. Thankfully, both he and Yoohwan did and since then they had joined this pack.
At first it was not so bad. Everyone was fearful of the Alpha and respected each other’s privacy. The pack’s bond was only used during the full moon hunt and because of that no one knew what Yoochun really felt about his brother. And for that Yoochun was grateful.
The first realization about his forbidden desires towards his brother was when Yoochun dreamed of him one night. He had dreamed about their mating, how Yoohwan writhed so beautifully under him as Yoochun fucked him, how soft Yoohwan’s skin was as Yoochun kissed every inch of him, how pleasurable it was for them both to finally mate. When he woke up that night, Yoochun was so horrified and scared until he had almost lost control.
Fortunately Yoohwan was not sleeping beside him that night or else Yoochun would’ve claimed him right then and there.
He had locked himself in their room the next day, claiming that he was not feeling well. His Alpha didn’t give Yoochun’s request a second thought and granted his appeal to be left alone. And since the Alpha himself had agreed, no one dared to disobey him. By the time Yoohwan returned, Yoochun had realized that what he felt was not to be known to anyone.
He had locked, barred and buried his feelings so deep that not even his wolf could reach it.
A wolf in their pack found a mate.
For Yoochun, it didn’t mean a thing; but for Yoohwan, he was excited. He had never seen newly-mated pair of werewolves before.
Between the two of them, Yoochun was more dominant and so their Alpha only explained briefly about mates to Yoochun. And because he didn’t feel it necessary, Yoochun only told Yoohwan the basic knowledge. And so Yoohwan was full with questions when he saw for the first time what it meant to have a mate and all the changes that a pair of newly mated wolves might experience.
Yoochun had no choice and but to explain to him the changes in dominance. He told Yoohwan that every wolf had their own mates since the day they became werewolves, but the realization might come later than sooner for some. It all differed between one wolf to another.
He told Yoohwan of the fact that if a wolf had found his mate, that mate would become the most important person in his life.
Yoohwan’s reaction, however, was unexpected. “Does that mean… are you going to leave me?” Yoohwan’s eyes were wide and fearful.
Of all the possible responses, why did Yoohwan have to say that? It only gave Yoochun false hope. He swallowed hard. “No, but I’m just saying that someday we’ll both find our mates. You will find yours, and you’ll be so happy.”
He didn’t dare to say that he knew Yoohwan’s mate was him. What would Yoohwan’s reaction be other than disgust? They were a pair of freaks. Who the hell had heard of werewolves’ incest? The pack would shun them and Yoochun knew he’d rather be dead than make Yoohwan unhappy.
But Yoohwan looked unhappy now. And it was all Yoochun’s fault. “I’m happy now,” Yoohwan said. “You’re here, beside me. And Hyung, that’s all that makes me happy.”
Yoochun tried very very hard not to look at those words with deeper meaning. Even when his wolf was yapping and howling happily, Yoochun was determined not to let it cloud his judgment. Yoohwan didn’t mean anything by it. He was just expressing his love for Yoochun as a brother.
So Yoochun just smiled. He touched Yoohwan’s cheek, caressing the soft skin. “I’m glad I can still make you happy.”
He pretended he did not see the disappointment that crossed his brother’s features, thinking that maybe it was because he didn’t say that Yoohwan also made him happy. Yoochun had sworn that he would not be tempted by hanging onto false hopes. There was no way Yoohwan would accept his own brother as his mate.
Werewolves had mates, but it didn’t mean that every werewolf was lucky enough to find and be accepted by their mate. Yoochun had seen examples of werewolves who got rejected by their mates and most of them always ended up killing themselves.
However he understood that. There was nothing more painful than your mate rejecting you. Some wolves chose death as an escape, a very respectable death in Yoochun’s opinion. It sounded painfully romantic, to die because of love but it’s foolish at the same time. And Yoochun was a foolish man.
“You will always make me happy hyung, just stay here and don’t go anywhere. Please.”
Yoochun looked up to see Yoohwan staring at him. There were so many emotions in his younger brother’s eyes: hope, fear, insecurity, love. The older man swallowed heavily. There was no way, no way Yoohwan was saying what he thinks he was saying. There was no way Yoohwan would see him that way.
But when Yoohwan leaned in, he put their foreheads pressed together, and whispered, “Stay here hyung, with me. Forever.”
And just like that, against what his brain had screamed at him, Yoochun’s heart allowed itself to have a little bit of hope.
When Yoohwan was finally graduating from his university, Yoochun had saved up enough money for them to go to a snowboarding trip together. Before they became werewolves, the two of them used to go swimming together, but they couldn’t anymore since werewolves couldn’t swim. Snowboarding was a good enough replacement. Yoochun in particular, knew that Yoohwan loved snow. And whatever made Yoohwan happy, made Yoochun happy.
They rented a little cabin and lit the fireplace. Yoohwan was in a strange mood. He seemed happy but nervous at the same time. Every time Yoochun asked if there was anything wrong, Yoohwan would only smile and shake his head, but didn’t say anything else. So Yoochun just smiled back and nodded.
He was reading a book in the living room that night when Yoohwan came and gave him a cup of cocoa. Yoochun shot his brother a grateful smile. The night could be very cold and the hot drink would be a perfect compliment.
What he didn’t expect was that Yoohwan chose to sit next to him, very very close until their thighs were pressed together. Yoochun’s wolf immediately howled at the back of his mind, and he had to take a deep breath to control his wolf.
The feeling of Yoohwan’s skin touching his was amazing. It made Yoochun feel lightheaded. All coherent thought flew from his mind. There was only one thing he wanted to do right now and that was to claim his mate. He was very sure his eyes were tinted with gold now.
Thankfully, before instinct took over, the little bit of sanity he had left gave him some semblance of control. Yoochun swallowed heavily and tried to scoot a bit further, creating some space between him and Yoohwan. He pretended he did not recognize the disappointment on Yoohwan’s face.
They stayed quiet like that for a while, neither of them seem content nor displeased with the heavy atmosphere. They were just like children: awkward, unsure and Yoochun berated himself. This wasn’t supposed to be like this. This trip was supposed to celebrate Yoohwan’s graduation; the man had worked really hard until he could graduate. Yoochun knew Yoohwan had been looking forward for this trip since months ago. They were supposed to have fun.
Yoochun was halfway down to drink all his chocolates when he saw Yoohwan move. The man was just stretching his arms, but it was enough for Yoochun to be up on his feet instantly. “I’m going to get us some biscuits,” he said as an excuse.
The truth was that he just wanted to get away from his brother. He couldn’t take this. His wolf couldn’t take this. Sooner or later Yoochun would lose control and his wolf would’ve jumped at the opportunity like a starved man.
He was only four, five steps away when Yoohwan’s sweet voice stopped him in his tracks. Yoochun carefully turned around to face his brother and their eyes met. There was a curiosity, embarrassment, nervousness and trepidation shining from the younger’s eyes. “Hyung, I know what you’re thinking. And…,” Yoohwan licked his lips unsurely, “I want it too.”
To say that Yoochun was shocked was an understatement. His logic did funny things to his brain and somehow it still managed to point out snidely that what Yoohwan meant was not biscuits. The way Yoohwan said it, his expression, those were enough to make Yoochun understand what his brother really meant.
Oh dear lord. This trip was not supposed to be like this.
His wolf of course wasn’t complaining, in fact he was howling rather excitedly. But what little sanity Yoochun had left shone like a beacon through his confused brain and Yoochun hung on to it like a lifeline. He swallowed again, lips suddenly dry. “What… what are you saying?”
He needed the confirmation. What if Yoochun was just reading into things too deeply? What if Yoohwan didn’t mean what he thought he meant?
Yoohwan took a step closer and Yoochun stayed glued on his spot. He wanted to move back, to create some distance between him and his brother because this was not happening but his feet refused to move. They were not obeying what his brain was screaming at him. And when Yoohwan stood in front of him, body pressed closed enough for Yoochun to feel the other’s body heat, Yoochun very nearly groaned in pleasure. Yoohwan’s scent was intoxicating. It made Yoochun’s head spin that he almost didn’t hear what Yoohwan said next.
“I know you’re my mate. I…I realized it a couple of months ago and at first I was so scared. But then I watched you and I knew you’ve known about it longer than I did and it’s killing me that you won’t do anything about it. Am I that unattractive that you don’t want to claim me?”
“No! You’re not unattractive!” The words flew from his mouth before Yoochun could even think to stop it. Yoochun realized that he didn’t actually deny anything that Yoohwan had said about them being mates. He later found out that Yoohwan had caught on it when the latter relaxed a bit.
A beautiful, small smile blossomed on Yoohwan’s eyes. Yoochun felt his heart being mended little by little seeing that smile. “Then why are you not doing anything?” He seemed amused now, and Yoochun didn’t know what to think of it. An amused Yoohwan usually meant a happy Yoochun, but right now he felt that maybe happiness was something he never dreamed of.
But when Yoohwan leaned in, pressed their foreheads together again and pecked his lips, Yoochun knew happiness was not that far away. It was actually within his reach, quite literally. He could hear Yoohwan’s soft breath ghosting on his skin and the warm after-feel on his own lips.
The reality caught on with him and so did the consequences. Yoohwan was his mate. Yoochun was Yoohwan’s mate. And they were brothers.
That last word was the heavyweight that brought Yoochun back to the low ground below. Yoohwan had said that he wanted this too, but was he ready? Were they both ready? “This is a sin,” Yoochun whispered against what his heart wanted.
Yoohwan shook his head. “No, we are werewolves, we are animals. And animals don’t know sin, do they?”
Yoochun found he couldn’t argue. Or perhaps he didn’t want to argue. He leaned in slowly, pressed their lips together and kissed his brother.
They mated that night.
No one from their pack was suspicious even when they can smell Yoochun’s scent on Yoohwan. Maybe it was because the brothers were always together and they just thought Yoochun hugged his brother for too long and was just feeling protective.
However things started to go downhill during the full moon. There was an argument in the pack regarding who would take the last meat during hunt, like it always did. The Alpha was supposed to be the one who keeps everyone in the line, but Yoochun’s Alpha was always a bit vague with the little details. He didn’t want to be bothered and as long as the rest of the pack respected him, it was enough.
That night, Yoochun was able to challenge the Third, and the pack knew then that Yoochun’s dominance had changed. There was only one explanation for that: Yoochun must have found a mate. It didn’t take a genius to put the missing puzzle pieces together since the only smell they can smell on Yoochun was that of his brother’s.
The first attack came like lightning, Yoochun couldn’t dodge it fast enough and the Second’s teeth sunk in his neck. Yoohwan acted fast and bit the Second’s leg. And before half the wolves in the pack realized what was happening, the brothers ran away. They ran and ran and ran, with the rest of the pack following close behind them. A few times the pack managed to get a teeth or two in Yoohwan, but Yoochun was able to fend off the attacks.
They ran blindly, just going deeper and deeper into the forest until finally they crossed the stream and went into another pack’s territory. Neither Yoochun nor Yoohwan knew the Alpha in this other pack, but they were just hoping, hoping and hoping that perhaps this Alpha was kind enough to let them cross his territory without having any permission at first.
Just as Yoochun had thought, his pack stopped across the stream. They didn’t dare to cross it as they didn’t want to start any fighting with another pack. And only then Yoochun took a good look at his own body and at Yoohwan’s. Both of them were covered with blood. Teeth marks and bite marks ripped their skins.
Adrenaline finally wearing off, the exhaustion kicked in full force. They lay down under a huge cedar tree because they didn’t, couldn’t run anymore. They didn’t have any energy left, particularly Yoohwan who wasn’t used to so much running. He whimpered in pain and Yoochun felt like he wanted to cry.
Why why why didn’t they think things through? They knew the Alpha wouldn’t want to have incestuous werewolves in the pack but why did they still mate anyway? Why couldn’t they control themselves better? Why didn’t Yoochun control himself better?
Because we love each other, Yoohwan said into their mate bond.
Yoochun whined. Their love was horrible. And right now he hated that love. It’s because of that love that had Yoohwan injured, and some of the gashes on his body were so deep that Yoohwan couldn’t breathe properly. Yoochun could only stare helplessly as his brother fought to stay conscious. He hated this, he hated what he had done.
Yoohwan’s sweet voice came through their bond. Hyung, don’t be like that. If this is the consequence, I’m happy that at least we managed to have some happiness as mates.
But it shouldn’t be like this. It doesn’t make sense. It’s not fair.
He could hear Yoohwan chuckling. We are animals hyung, nothing make sense to us. It’s only what it is.
Somehow, someway, through their mate bond, Yoochun could feel his brother’s life begin to fade. He was losing blood too much and too fast. Yoochun whimpered. No no no dongsaeng, no please. Don’t leave me here. Focus on my voice. I love you. Be here with me.
It was a scary feeling. His brother, his mate, his most beloved person was dying. Yoochun knew then that if Yoohwan really died, he himself would commit suicide. There was no way he could survive living without his brother. Because really, what’s the point of that?
Suddenly there were the smell of other werewolves. In the midst of his pain and sadness, Yoochun realized this must be the other pack. They had smelled the blood and came. There was only one thing to do now and Yoochun was willing to try it. He didn’t have anything to lose anyway. He looked up to see a really tall wolf with grey fur standing in front of them.
“Please,” Yoochun begged through his tears, “help my brother, he’s not going to survive if you don’t help him. Please.”
The grey wolf’s name was Yunho and he was the Alpha of this other pack. It was a really small pack. Other than the Alpha and his mate, there were only two other wolves: a young white wolf and another one with dark brown fur. But they were all very kind, or at least the Alpha was and what Alpha said always ruled.
They bandaged Yoohwan’s wounds to stop the bleeding and fed Yoochun some meat. They even took Yoohwan to the hospital to have blood transfusion when he wasn’t improving as fast as he should and Yoochun wondered how the Alpha’s mate managed to convince the nurse that Yoohwan was attacked by bears to explain the bleeding.
Yoochun felt touched. He didn’t think his old pack would even go that far and yet these wolves did this to strangers. They hardly knew Yoochun and Yoohwan and really, lying bloodied and dying wasn’t the best way to make good first impression.
When Yoohwan was not in danger anymore, and when his sleep was a healing sleep, only by then Yoochun walked towards Yunho and said his thanks. “I don’t know how to repay you, but I promise I’ll try to. Please, tell me how. And we’ll soon be on our way after my brother has recovered.”
Yunho only looked at him and somehow it made Yoochun very small. “He’s more than just your brother, isn’t he?”
There was no point in denying that, so Yoochun nodded. “He’s my mate,” he whispered in small voice.
To his credit, Yunho only nodded in return. Yoochun didn’t know what to think of it. What did that mean? Perhaps Yunho was not as understanding as Yoochun had thought? Would he also attack them now that he had confirmed that they were incestuous werewolves?
Maybe the panic shown in his face because suddenly he could hear Yunho chuckled. “No I’m not going to attack you so please, relax. I’ve heard about incest mates before but never really encountered one and I don’t think the Marrock even has. You and your brother are unique and precious, and that’s all the more reason why I think you should join my pack.”
Yoochun blinked. “What?”
Yunho let out a small laugh. “I said: you should join my pack. You and your brother, both of you.”
The feeling of being wanted made Yoochun tear up a bit. However there was still one thing that bothered him. “But… what about the other wolves in your pack?” Although the Alpha had said that they should stay, it didn’t mean the other wolves would agree. They wouldn’t attack Yoochun and Yoohwan, but they might still act hostile and the last thing Yoochun wanted to do was to bring disturbance to this pack. They had been so nice to them.
“Well, I’d let my wolves decide that themselves, but I don’t think they will. Don’t you agree Jae?”
The Alpha’s mate smiled. “Yes, I personally would be honored to have you in our pack. As you can see, we are a really small pack and having you and your brother will be such a pleasure. But first,” he smiled wickedly, “I say we ask Donghae and Changmin to buy some more food. Are you still hungry Yoochun?”
“I can buy the food!” said Yoochun almost instantly. It was the last thing he could do and if he wasn’t mistaken, Changmin was the young white wolf. Yoochun only saw him briefly but he was sure that this Changmin was the Second. It was unheard of to ask the Second do menial errands like buying food.
However the Alpha’s mate just waved his hand carelessly. “Trust me, you want Changmin to buy the food otherwise he’ll complain about the lack of everything.” With that, the Alpha’s mate walked away, mumbling under his breath to find Changmin and Donghae.
Yoochun could only look at his new Alpha. He tried to find words that could convey his gratitude, but he found none. So he settled with saying thank you because really, what else could he say?
And then Yunho’s warm hand covered his. The smile was so gentle, so understanding. “We are a pack, and we protect our own. You’ll be safe with us, I promise you that.”
-End of Story-