"Red Window" - Chapter 8
Title: Red Window
Author: Shannon - shannyfish
Disclaimer: I do not own “The Mentalist” or its characters, Warner Brothers and Bruno Heller do. This is merely for entertainment purposes only.
Rating: R (to be safe)
Summary: Sequel to “Suffering is the Best Punishment”. With Lisbon gone, Jane leaves CBI to set out to find her and to kill Red John. He won’t let Red John kill his family again.
Warning: adult themes
Chapter 8 - “Just Believe”
Author’s Note: Trailer for “Suffering is the Best Punishment”…not sure how I’d make one for this one, but I shall think on it!
http://www.megavideo.com/?v=Q581AW2H
............................
“Miracles happen to those who believe in them.” - Bernard Berenson
Ketchum, ID
The Christmas tree was up and fully lit and decorated. Simon had insisted that they all take part in it together. He’d put up the white lights and had carefully and meticulously wrapped them around branches and up the whole tree. He’d already hung the big multi-colored lights up on the outside of the house. She’d taken the time to twist silver beads throughout the tree and then had helped Kaydance place bright colored balls on the tree. It was simple, but it was pretty.
Simon had begun to bake cookies while they had worked on the decorating. So, the house smelled even more like the holidays as it filled the small house. Lisbon had tried to make it fun, for Kaydance’s sake. There was no reason that this whole period of time had to be traumatic. Lisbon didn’t want such a joyous holiday to have such a black stain in her life.
“So, what do you want for Christmas?” Lisbon asked the girl.
“A puppy, but my mommy and daddy said I can’t have one,” she said sadly.
“We’re your parents now,” Simon said as he brought over a plate with his first batch of cookies. “And if you’re a good girl maybe Santa will bring you one.”
“I could have one?”
Lisbon watched as the little girl’s eyes widened and her lips turned up into a smile. She thought it was mean. She didn’t think that Simon would actually follow through and get her a puppy and then she also didn’t plan on being there for much longer. It was already far too close to Christmas for her liking.
…
“She made a list for Santa,” Simon said after she emerged from Kaydance’s room.
The room fully decked out in the pink and green of the fairy bedding. It hadn’t taken them long to make the room a little girl’s room and it had already become lived in. She’d just put Kaydance down to sleep and had sat there and read her a story until she’d fallen asleep. She was getting rather attached to the little girl.
“What does she want?” Lisbon asked. She didn’t really care. She didn’t plan on being there much longer. She just hoped that they were looking for them. That they were close. She just worried that they didn’t have enough to go on.
“A puppy,” he said with a grin.
“The property doesn’t have a proper fence for a puppy,” she pointed out.
He shrugged. “So, we’ll get one of those collars with the shock thing on it. It’ll stop at the underground fence just like you did.”
The memories of that were not pleasant and it made her body hurt, especially her ankle, when she thought about it. She didn’t like the idea. She doubted that a dog would enjoy being shocked anymore than she had. “What else?” she pushed. She really didn’t want to talk right now. She just wanted to sleep. That’s all.
“A bunch of different toys, but that’s good…she doesn’t have really anything, so it’ll be good for her,” Simon said with a smile and placed his hand on her arm.
Lisbon felt an unconscious shiver run through her in response to his touch. She didn’t want him to touch her. His hand ran up and down her arm and she didn’t move. She wanted to push him to the floor and knock him out. She wanted to grab Kaydance and run for it. She wanted to go home. She didn’t want to pretend anymore. It was all lies anyways; she didn’t know how he could live his life as such a lie.
“And you? What do you want for Christmas, Teresa?” he asked.
“Nothing,” she replied quickly. It was sort of the truth. All she wanted was to go home. To go back to her life. To be Agent Teresa Lisbon of the CBI. Not to be Teresa, Simon’s fake wife. She didn’t want this life. Yes, maybe she wanted to find someone to share her life with, but it wasn’t Simon.
“Come on, you have to want something,” Simon pushed. “It’s Christmas. You have to have a gift.”
“I don’t want anything,” she argued.
He pulled her close and she tried to push away lightly. She didn’t want to start a full blown fight, but she wouldn’t be taken advantage of. He kissed her forehead and she felt like crying. She didn’t want him near her and she especially didn’t want him to touch her. She felt his breath as he moved in so that his mouth was close to her ear.
“On Christmas Day, after presents are open… We’re going to walk down the hall to my bedroom while Katie watches her movie and we’re going to consummate our relationship,” Simon said. When she started to pull away, he tightened his grip and pulled her closer. “You are going to cooperate because I’m sure you don’t want anything to happen to Katie, do you?”
She didn’t know what to think. She wanted to think that Simon wouldn’t hurt Kaydance, but she couldn’t know for sure. After all, he was sick enough to allow a matching silver anklet that shocked on the little girl. “No… Don’t hurt her,” she said quietly, her gaze downwards at their shoes.
“Good,” he whispered and then kissed the side of her head. “Then, perhaps that’ll be my special Christmas present to you.”
Lisbon felt sick. Physically ill. She thought about running the remaining steps to the bathroom and emptying her stomach in the toilet, but she kept it down. The team would come for her, it wouldn’t come to that, she told herself. She’d left clues; they’d figure it out. Jane would figure it out. If she was spending Christmas with anyone, it was with her team. She wouldn’t even care if she had to fill out paperwork on Christmas Day.
He moved her face so that she was staring into his eyes. “You’re going to learn to be a good wife and a good mother and you’re going to be happy, Teresa,” Simon told her. “If I have to use this,” he said as he held up a small remote device. “I will. If I have to medicate you, I will. But you won’t ruin this family.” He moved in and kissed her and forced himself on her to deepen the kiss. “Soon enough,” he whispered with a bright smile before heading to his bedroom.
She waited until she heard his door close before closing her eyes and letting the tears fall. Lisbon reached up and wiped her mouth. She felt so dirty and violated. He hadn’t done anything that really warranted the idea of violation, but she felt it just the same. Lisbon slowly trudged to her bedroom after turning off all the lights. She closed the door and allowed a new torrent of tears to flow fresh from her eyes. Pressing her back to the closed door, she slid down and cried into her knees.
A miracle.
She felt like she needed a miracle.
A Christmas miracle.
What if her clues hadn’t made it through? What if the team wasn’t coming? What if they really just needed the address? The GPS coordinates? Something more substantial? She couldn’t do this for too much longer. She had tried to stay strong. Being strong was hard. She’d done that all her life…and now she felt herself weakening… Lisbon wondered if this was what happened to people with Stockholm…did they just lose their strength to fight? She couldn’t stay there that long.
She reached up and clasped her cross in her hands and then tilted her head back until it hit the back of the door. She stared up at the ceiling and then closed her eyes. She prayed to God. Prayed that she was Kaydance would be kept safe. Prayed that they’d be brought home soon. That the others were looking for them and that they’d understand her clues. Prayed that she could be stronger for just a little longer.
Maybe all she really did need was a Christmas miracle…
She’d pray every hour if that meant it would happen. She’d do anything. Lisbon had tried as much as she could do without Simon knowing…or even with Simon knowing. But there was no way she was going to try to run again and deal with the shock she received when she got too close to the road. There was no way that she could try to take Kaydance with that waiting for them.
Lisbon opened her eyes and stared at the window. The window with the red pane. Outside snow was falling and it just made her sadder. It felt like she was living someone else’s life in some other reality. It wasn’t fair. She couldn’t stand it. The tears clouded her vision occasionally, but she didn’t care. She just let them fall and didn’t worry about wiping them away.
This wasn’t the kind of married life she ever wanted. She wanted someone who would love and respect her. Who would let her still be free. Someone she wasn’t afraid to be around. Someone she wasn’t afraid to leave her child with. Simon was none of those. Before she’d thought that maybe Simon was different, that he only knew Red John, but now she knew that she’d been wrong. Simon was just like Red John’s other minions. He was a wolf in sheep’s clothing. He was dangerous.
She thought about hatching a plan. To attack Simon, overpower him. She knew that she could do it. But then what? Take the key from him, if she could find it? Release Kaydance and herself from the shock anklets and then run for it? Would it work? Did Red John watch them? Did he watch the house? Were Carl and Ed close by? There were so many variables… Too many. And then there was the fact that it involved Kaydance. It would be different if she was the only person she had to care about. Lisbon would gladly put herself in harm’s way if it meant escaping. But she wasn’t on her own; she had a child to care for. To worry for.
Hours passed and she sat against the door. Lisbon was drained and exhausted. She was still angry. She just wanted to run away. It seemed so simple, but it wasn’t.
Nothing was simple.
“He’s coming,” she whispered to herself and she tried to make herself believe it.
Jane was coming.
He’d use his powers of observation and he’d look at the clues and he’d figure it out. He was coming for her and he was bringing the team. They just needed the time. They had to do paperwork and make plans. They had to put together a team and coordinate with the FBI. They had to make sure that the FBI would allow them to help…and the FBI would. Jane and the team would have to board a plane and fly to Idaho and drive there… They’d have to meet with the FBI and the locals and coordinate their plans before breaking into the complex.
But they were coming…
She had to believe in that.
He loved her.
Fresh tears fell from her burning tear ducts and fell down her chapped face. She could remember him saying it and the feeling it had caused. She’d been confused but at the same time she’d been so touched. She hadn’t thought that someone would actually love her. It was one thing to like her and to have sex. Having someone who loved her for her being her…that was different. Of course, with her luck…any man who had fit into loving her for being her had been married. Though Jane was widowed, Lisbon couldn’t help but wonder if he’d still love her once they took care of Red John. Would he remain with CBI? Would he remain with the team? Would he remain with her?
She shook her head and tried to shake the thoughts from it.
She loved him.
She loved Patrick Jane.
Slowly, she managed to get to her feet and drag herself to her bed. She collapsed onto of the bedding, without any of her clothes or shoes discarded. She didn’t care. Lisbon curled up and stared out the window.
Jane was coming.
She believed in that.
She believed in him.
…
“Mommy! Mommy!” Kaydance yelled as she hurried into Lisbon’s room and then shook her.
She felt like she’d barely slept. She stared at the little girl through her sore eyes. “Wha-what?”
“Mommy! Can we go outside please?! I want to make a snowman!”
Lisbon didn’t ask why Kaydance had started to call her ‘mommy’ and had just put it to the fact that it was something Simon had told her to do. She watched as Kaydance bounced. She looked past her to the clock. It was nearly noon. That was the latest she’d slept since she’d been there. The fact that she hadn’t gone to bed until sometime after five had something to do with it. “Okay,” she said finally. “Get your snow boots and jacket on and don’t forget your hat and gloves,” she said as she moved up into a sitting position.
“They’re on my bed!” she said excitedly.
“Good,” Lisbon mumbled as she rubbed her face. She probably should take a shower, but Kaydance was waiting for her. She could take one when they came back inside, plus it would help to warm her up. She would probably need it.
A minute later, the girl vanished from her room closing the door on her way out. Lisbon lay back down and stared up at the ceiling.
She believed.
Tears threatened to fall again as her thoughts became dark. She shook them away and forced herself upward and onto her feet. She moved forward and pulled out jeans and a long sleeve t-shirt before moving to the closet and pulling out boots, a hoody, and her snow jacket. She returned to the dresser and pulled out a thick warm sock. She looked out the window. She really didn’t want to go out there. She just wanted to lie in bed and stare at the ceiling and wait.
How long did she have to wait?
Slowly, she stripped from the clothes from the day before and then replaced them with what she had put on her bed. She left the stripped clothes on her floor. She didn’t care. Normally, she’d immediately put them into the laundry hamper, but she didn’t care today. Today none of it mattered.
She felt broken.
She felt her hope fading.
She believed and yet she felt it harder to believe.
Lisbon rubbed her face and her eyes.
No, she loved Jane. He loved her. He’d come for her.
She’d be safe again. As safe as her life had ever been before. This was only a temporary situation. Soon enough it would be like a distant memory. But right now, now…she needed to push through it. She needed to continue being strong even though that was hard to do.
Pulling on the snow jacket, she pulled in a deep breath and told herself that she needed to relax. She needed to be okay. She needed to be strong. She needed to be there. Even if it was only for the benefit of Kaydance. Lisbon had to remind herself that she wasn’t alone and that she had to be strong for someone else.
Believe, she told herself.
…
TBC…
Author: Shannon - shannyfish
Disclaimer: I do not own “The Mentalist” or its characters, Warner Brothers and Bruno Heller do. This is merely for entertainment purposes only.
Rating: R (to be safe)
Summary: Sequel to “Suffering is the Best Punishment”. With Lisbon gone, Jane leaves CBI to set out to find her and to kill Red John. He won’t let Red John kill his family again.
Warning: adult themes
Chapter 8 - “Just Believe”
Author’s Note: Trailer for “Suffering is the Best Punishment”…not sure how I’d make one for this one, but I shall think on it!
http://www.megavideo.com/?v=Q581AW2H
............................
“Miracles happen to those who believe in them.” - Bernard Berenson
Ketchum, ID
The Christmas tree was up and fully lit and decorated. Simon had insisted that they all take part in it together. He’d put up the white lights and had carefully and meticulously wrapped them around branches and up the whole tree. He’d already hung the big multi-colored lights up on the outside of the house. She’d taken the time to twist silver beads throughout the tree and then had helped Kaydance place bright colored balls on the tree. It was simple, but it was pretty.
Simon had begun to bake cookies while they had worked on the decorating. So, the house smelled even more like the holidays as it filled the small house. Lisbon had tried to make it fun, for Kaydance’s sake. There was no reason that this whole period of time had to be traumatic. Lisbon didn’t want such a joyous holiday to have such a black stain in her life.
“So, what do you want for Christmas?” Lisbon asked the girl.
“A puppy, but my mommy and daddy said I can’t have one,” she said sadly.
“We’re your parents now,” Simon said as he brought over a plate with his first batch of cookies. “And if you’re a good girl maybe Santa will bring you one.”
“I could have one?”
Lisbon watched as the little girl’s eyes widened and her lips turned up into a smile. She thought it was mean. She didn’t think that Simon would actually follow through and get her a puppy and then she also didn’t plan on being there for much longer. It was already far too close to Christmas for her liking.
…
“She made a list for Santa,” Simon said after she emerged from Kaydance’s room.
The room fully decked out in the pink and green of the fairy bedding. It hadn’t taken them long to make the room a little girl’s room and it had already become lived in. She’d just put Kaydance down to sleep and had sat there and read her a story until she’d fallen asleep. She was getting rather attached to the little girl.
“What does she want?” Lisbon asked. She didn’t really care. She didn’t plan on being there much longer. She just hoped that they were looking for them. That they were close. She just worried that they didn’t have enough to go on.
“A puppy,” he said with a grin.
“The property doesn’t have a proper fence for a puppy,” she pointed out.
He shrugged. “So, we’ll get one of those collars with the shock thing on it. It’ll stop at the underground fence just like you did.”
The memories of that were not pleasant and it made her body hurt, especially her ankle, when she thought about it. She didn’t like the idea. She doubted that a dog would enjoy being shocked anymore than she had. “What else?” she pushed. She really didn’t want to talk right now. She just wanted to sleep. That’s all.
“A bunch of different toys, but that’s good…she doesn’t have really anything, so it’ll be good for her,” Simon said with a smile and placed his hand on her arm.
Lisbon felt an unconscious shiver run through her in response to his touch. She didn’t want him to touch her. His hand ran up and down her arm and she didn’t move. She wanted to push him to the floor and knock him out. She wanted to grab Kaydance and run for it. She wanted to go home. She didn’t want to pretend anymore. It was all lies anyways; she didn’t know how he could live his life as such a lie.
“And you? What do you want for Christmas, Teresa?” he asked.
“Nothing,” she replied quickly. It was sort of the truth. All she wanted was to go home. To go back to her life. To be Agent Teresa Lisbon of the CBI. Not to be Teresa, Simon’s fake wife. She didn’t want this life. Yes, maybe she wanted to find someone to share her life with, but it wasn’t Simon.
“Come on, you have to want something,” Simon pushed. “It’s Christmas. You have to have a gift.”
“I don’t want anything,” she argued.
He pulled her close and she tried to push away lightly. She didn’t want to start a full blown fight, but she wouldn’t be taken advantage of. He kissed her forehead and she felt like crying. She didn’t want him near her and she especially didn’t want him to touch her. She felt his breath as he moved in so that his mouth was close to her ear.
“On Christmas Day, after presents are open… We’re going to walk down the hall to my bedroom while Katie watches her movie and we’re going to consummate our relationship,” Simon said. When she started to pull away, he tightened his grip and pulled her closer. “You are going to cooperate because I’m sure you don’t want anything to happen to Katie, do you?”
She didn’t know what to think. She wanted to think that Simon wouldn’t hurt Kaydance, but she couldn’t know for sure. After all, he was sick enough to allow a matching silver anklet that shocked on the little girl. “No… Don’t hurt her,” she said quietly, her gaze downwards at their shoes.
“Good,” he whispered and then kissed the side of her head. “Then, perhaps that’ll be my special Christmas present to you.”
Lisbon felt sick. Physically ill. She thought about running the remaining steps to the bathroom and emptying her stomach in the toilet, but she kept it down. The team would come for her, it wouldn’t come to that, she told herself. She’d left clues; they’d figure it out. Jane would figure it out. If she was spending Christmas with anyone, it was with her team. She wouldn’t even care if she had to fill out paperwork on Christmas Day.
He moved her face so that she was staring into his eyes. “You’re going to learn to be a good wife and a good mother and you’re going to be happy, Teresa,” Simon told her. “If I have to use this,” he said as he held up a small remote device. “I will. If I have to medicate you, I will. But you won’t ruin this family.” He moved in and kissed her and forced himself on her to deepen the kiss. “Soon enough,” he whispered with a bright smile before heading to his bedroom.
She waited until she heard his door close before closing her eyes and letting the tears fall. Lisbon reached up and wiped her mouth. She felt so dirty and violated. He hadn’t done anything that really warranted the idea of violation, but she felt it just the same. Lisbon slowly trudged to her bedroom after turning off all the lights. She closed the door and allowed a new torrent of tears to flow fresh from her eyes. Pressing her back to the closed door, she slid down and cried into her knees.
A miracle.
She felt like she needed a miracle.
A Christmas miracle.
What if her clues hadn’t made it through? What if the team wasn’t coming? What if they really just needed the address? The GPS coordinates? Something more substantial? She couldn’t do this for too much longer. She had tried to stay strong. Being strong was hard. She’d done that all her life…and now she felt herself weakening… Lisbon wondered if this was what happened to people with Stockholm…did they just lose their strength to fight? She couldn’t stay there that long.
She reached up and clasped her cross in her hands and then tilted her head back until it hit the back of the door. She stared up at the ceiling and then closed her eyes. She prayed to God. Prayed that she was Kaydance would be kept safe. Prayed that they’d be brought home soon. That the others were looking for them and that they’d understand her clues. Prayed that she could be stronger for just a little longer.
Maybe all she really did need was a Christmas miracle…
She’d pray every hour if that meant it would happen. She’d do anything. Lisbon had tried as much as she could do without Simon knowing…or even with Simon knowing. But there was no way she was going to try to run again and deal with the shock she received when she got too close to the road. There was no way that she could try to take Kaydance with that waiting for them.
Lisbon opened her eyes and stared at the window. The window with the red pane. Outside snow was falling and it just made her sadder. It felt like she was living someone else’s life in some other reality. It wasn’t fair. She couldn’t stand it. The tears clouded her vision occasionally, but she didn’t care. She just let them fall and didn’t worry about wiping them away.
This wasn’t the kind of married life she ever wanted. She wanted someone who would love and respect her. Who would let her still be free. Someone she wasn’t afraid to be around. Someone she wasn’t afraid to leave her child with. Simon was none of those. Before she’d thought that maybe Simon was different, that he only knew Red John, but now she knew that she’d been wrong. Simon was just like Red John’s other minions. He was a wolf in sheep’s clothing. He was dangerous.
She thought about hatching a plan. To attack Simon, overpower him. She knew that she could do it. But then what? Take the key from him, if she could find it? Release Kaydance and herself from the shock anklets and then run for it? Would it work? Did Red John watch them? Did he watch the house? Were Carl and Ed close by? There were so many variables… Too many. And then there was the fact that it involved Kaydance. It would be different if she was the only person she had to care about. Lisbon would gladly put herself in harm’s way if it meant escaping. But she wasn’t on her own; she had a child to care for. To worry for.
Hours passed and she sat against the door. Lisbon was drained and exhausted. She was still angry. She just wanted to run away. It seemed so simple, but it wasn’t.
Nothing was simple.
“He’s coming,” she whispered to herself and she tried to make herself believe it.
Jane was coming.
He’d use his powers of observation and he’d look at the clues and he’d figure it out. He was coming for her and he was bringing the team. They just needed the time. They had to do paperwork and make plans. They had to put together a team and coordinate with the FBI. They had to make sure that the FBI would allow them to help…and the FBI would. Jane and the team would have to board a plane and fly to Idaho and drive there… They’d have to meet with the FBI and the locals and coordinate their plans before breaking into the complex.
But they were coming…
She had to believe in that.
He loved her.
Fresh tears fell from her burning tear ducts and fell down her chapped face. She could remember him saying it and the feeling it had caused. She’d been confused but at the same time she’d been so touched. She hadn’t thought that someone would actually love her. It was one thing to like her and to have sex. Having someone who loved her for her being her…that was different. Of course, with her luck…any man who had fit into loving her for being her had been married. Though Jane was widowed, Lisbon couldn’t help but wonder if he’d still love her once they took care of Red John. Would he remain with CBI? Would he remain with the team? Would he remain with her?
She shook her head and tried to shake the thoughts from it.
She loved him.
She loved Patrick Jane.
Slowly, she managed to get to her feet and drag herself to her bed. She collapsed onto of the bedding, without any of her clothes or shoes discarded. She didn’t care. Lisbon curled up and stared out the window.
Jane was coming.
She believed in that.
She believed in him.
…
“Mommy! Mommy!” Kaydance yelled as she hurried into Lisbon’s room and then shook her.
She felt like she’d barely slept. She stared at the little girl through her sore eyes. “Wha-what?”
“Mommy! Can we go outside please?! I want to make a snowman!”
Lisbon didn’t ask why Kaydance had started to call her ‘mommy’ and had just put it to the fact that it was something Simon had told her to do. She watched as Kaydance bounced. She looked past her to the clock. It was nearly noon. That was the latest she’d slept since she’d been there. The fact that she hadn’t gone to bed until sometime after five had something to do with it. “Okay,” she said finally. “Get your snow boots and jacket on and don’t forget your hat and gloves,” she said as she moved up into a sitting position.
“They’re on my bed!” she said excitedly.
“Good,” Lisbon mumbled as she rubbed her face. She probably should take a shower, but Kaydance was waiting for her. She could take one when they came back inside, plus it would help to warm her up. She would probably need it.
A minute later, the girl vanished from her room closing the door on her way out. Lisbon lay back down and stared up at the ceiling.
She believed.
Tears threatened to fall again as her thoughts became dark. She shook them away and forced herself upward and onto her feet. She moved forward and pulled out jeans and a long sleeve t-shirt before moving to the closet and pulling out boots, a hoody, and her snow jacket. She returned to the dresser and pulled out a thick warm sock. She looked out the window. She really didn’t want to go out there. She just wanted to lie in bed and stare at the ceiling and wait.
How long did she have to wait?
Slowly, she stripped from the clothes from the day before and then replaced them with what she had put on her bed. She left the stripped clothes on her floor. She didn’t care. Normally, she’d immediately put them into the laundry hamper, but she didn’t care today. Today none of it mattered.
She felt broken.
She felt her hope fading.
She believed and yet she felt it harder to believe.
Lisbon rubbed her face and her eyes.
No, she loved Jane. He loved her. He’d come for her.
She’d be safe again. As safe as her life had ever been before. This was only a temporary situation. Soon enough it would be like a distant memory. But right now, now…she needed to push through it. She needed to continue being strong even though that was hard to do.
Pulling on the snow jacket, she pulled in a deep breath and told herself that she needed to relax. She needed to be okay. She needed to be strong. She needed to be there. Even if it was only for the benefit of Kaydance. Lisbon had to remind herself that she wasn’t alone and that she had to be strong for someone else.
Believe, she told herself.
…
TBC…