If Only It Were That Simple

[shake_the_stars]

You know how sometimes you want to say something to your friend, except the something you want to say could be interpreted as a personal criticism even though it's not meant that way, and you're just not that good at pulling your punches so you can't find any sort of delicate wording, and you're afraid this could be a big deal later down the road

Comments

[augustuscaesar]

If said friend is me, I would prefer you just said whatever it is instead of letting it fester inside you *g*

[shake_the_stars]

It isn't, so I don't have that easy out *g* However, if I ever have to tell you something, I shall come out and say it.

I might need to cross it out, though.

[augustuscaesar]

Damn :( But yes. Bluntness is best with me, because I am utterly oblivious and hints go ZOOOOOOOOOOM! right over my head.

[forgottensanity]

I think that is an unfair entry to post because now I wonder if I've done something. ;_; I don't know what I would prefer, really (in regards to being blunt or not), because for me it depends on the situation, and I don't really know what the deal is about. If it really bothers you that much, it's probably a good idea to bring it up, lest you go the rest of your life blaming yourself for not mentioning it. Sometimes it might be better to start a conversation about it rather than just say "That is totally a bad idea". If for instance a friend was considering quitting her job and you think that's a poor idea, then asking something like "So, what do you want to do after you quit your job? Focus on [whatever the person is interested in]?" Then the conversation might lead to "I just worry because X won't provide much money and I'd hate for you to go without eating for weeks. Have you thought of any alternatives in case X doesn't take off as soon as you hoped

[shake_the_stars]

I would like for you to stop picking your nose and wiping it on random lawn gnomes. It's so annoying when we're walking along and all of a sudden you see a lawn gnome and you just have to start digging away, don't you, and then the next thing you know that lawn gnome didn't know what hit him. Except he DOES, when he looks down. Lawn gnomes have rights, too, you know! There, now it's off my chest. Damn, that felt good!

I think for me it's complicated a bit because the thing that worries me is really none of my damn business, so for now the thing to do may be to lie low and see where things go. It's not something anyone is really doing; it's just something I see that worries me, but if it's not a concern to Friend, then it probably shouldn't be to me, either.

[forgottensanity]

Well lawn gnomes don't pick themselves, you know! I'm trying to do a favour to the public and all I get is complain, complain, complain!

If Friend is doing something that makes you worry for the health or livelihood or future or anything else relevant to said friend's life, then as a good friend it is practically expected of you to say something. If, however, it's just a matter of "Friend believes X and I believe Y, why can Friend not see Y's beauty like I can?!" Then it isn't worth starting a possible fight over (if that is what might happen). ^_^ If what Friend does really concerns you, then just mention is casually without accusing Friend of it being wrong. "Do you think it's safe to do X?" or "Isn't Y a little dangerous?"

You're allowed to be worried and if you're seriously worried you're in your right to question Friend's choices. If I said I was going to go driving in my father's car without wearing my seatbelt and not having a driver's licence, I think you would be in your right to question my decision.

[zyphryus]

stupid mayonnaise!

[shake_the_stars]

At least it wasn't a lot of mayonnaise. So it didn't really look like spooge. ;)