Discordant -- Story 1 of the Blind and Bound series (5/13)
Title: Discordant -- Story 1 of the Blind and Bound series (5/13)
Author: sinecure - My master fic list
Character/Pairing: Rose, Pete, Mickey, Jackie
Rating: Teen
Genre: AU, Action/adventure, mystery, drama, angst, romance
Summary: Rose Tyler traveled through universes to get back to the Doctor. What did she see in those universes, and how did they affect her?
Disclaimer: I don't own Doctor Who.
Thanks: to momdaegmorgan for the beta, and the prompt, and the constant inspiration to finish this thing. And the cheerleading recently.
- Prologue
- Chapter 1
- Chapter 2
- Chapter 3
Covering her mouth with her hand, Rose yawned and squinted up at the sun. Feeling a dull ache behind her eyes, she pushed her sunglasses higher up on her nose, then let her arm flop to the bench.
"He's making me tired just watching him," Mickey muttered from where he was slumped beside her. Holding his cup of coffee between his palms, he blew on it, sending the steam in her direction.
The smell of the caffeinated drink perked her up a bit. She'd only got a few hours of sleep the night before, after her intruder-fears had passed, and she felt sort of blah today. Though the sun was bright, it was cloudy, and cold, and her side ached, and her head hurt. "He never sits still, him." She trailed her brother with just her eyes, watching as he ran around a tree a dozen meters away, playing with another boy he'd met just minutes earlier. "Even in his sleep he kicks and throws his arms around. Pete calls him a kung-fu sleeper."
Mickey chuckled and drank a sip of his coffee, then turned lazily toward her, nudging her arm. "Tosh wanted me to remind you about supper next week." Dipping his sunglasses down, he pleaded with her with his eyes. "Please, whatever you do, don't cancel. With all the wedding hullabaloo--"
Rose snickered, earning herself a glare.
"--Tosh is on a tear. Every little thing," he stressed, sitting forward and turning toward her, "every tiny, little thing, and she blames me. Doesn't matter what it is. Never had her pegged as the stressed-bride type."
Rolling her eyes beneath the safety of her sunglasses, Rose shrugged and sat up a little straighter, trying not to look like such a slouch. "Not planning on canceling, so you're safe from the big, bad Tosh."
"Hush, you," he snarled, wagging a finger at her, "or I'll send her to your flat every time she starts in on me."
Glancing over to where Tony last was, Rose felt a moment of panic at seeing the empty grass, but then he ran out from behind one of the trees, giggling with the other boy as they started somersaulting. Rose forced herself to relax.
Not everything was a dire situation or an emergency in the making.
"She's just stressed. Torchwood's driving her mildly mental and you're doing what all to help her?" Shoving her glasses back up, she rubbed her head and turned toward him. "And while we're on the subject of Tosh, might wanna stop calling me babe, at least around her. She doesn't like it."
Mickey's face went blank and Rose suddenly had the feeling she'd stepped on a touchy subject. "Doesn't mean anything. Told her that too," he sniffed.
"Right. Well, still." Sitting back again, she watched Tony run their way. "She's the one you're marrying."
Voice stiff, he sat back as well. "I know who I'm marrying."
"Rose," Tony called out, still a few meters away, and she took the opportunity it afforded to change the subject. "Rose!"
"What?" she asked, mildly amused as he ran pell-mell toward them.
"Can we get an ice cream? John--that's the kid I was playing with--he said his dad is getting him ice cream and there's a truck over in the car park and can we get some too, please, Rose?"
The thought of ice cream in this cold weather made her shiver, but she couldn't say no to him, not if this might be the last time she saw him. Not if, during her next jump, she found the Doctor. "Sure, sweetie."
Mickey swept Tony up onto his shoulders as the boy skidded to a stop on the concrete in front of them, sporting a huge grin. "Ice cream coming up, bud."
"Oi," Tony complained, squirming around on Mickey's shoulders as a token protest to his position. "I'm too old to be up here, Mickey." He squirmed a little more, making himself more comfortable rather than trying to get put down.
Rose grinned and patted his leg, grabbing his trainer-clad foot and swinging it back and forth a little. "Better hold still before he drops you."
Mickey raised an eyebrow at her, visible just above his sunglasses. "Never happen."
Frowning, she looked across the park, unsure why she suddenly felt a slight uncomfortable twinge between them.
*~*~*~*~*~*
The noise in the hotel the next day was loud and harried. People were rushing back and forth between the computers and Pete's office, and Rose felt a moment of panic. She searched out Tia, and, not finding her, felt her panic grow.
Had they found out? Did they know about the extra jump?
Tia had told her she could hide the jumps by burying the energy signatures deep in the computers, but what if she hadn't buried them deep enough? Pete might know, and that wasn't good.
But then Tia left Pete's office, smiling at Rose as she passed. "Hey, thought you were gonna miss your first jump in a week," she told her.
Rose frowned, thinking surely Tia's little wink would give away their activities from last night, but no alarms were raised, Pete didn't yell for her to get into his office, and the harried pace of the lobby didn't suddenly come to a stop as everyone pointed at her, proclaiming her guilt.
Feeling a little off-kilter, she pulled out the files she'd been working on the night before and headed toward Pete's office.
Duane looked up when she passed in front of the computers and winked at her. "Hey, babe."
"You wish," Tia snickered, smacking his arm as she sat down beside him.
Spinning around, Duane pushed his wheeled chair along the table a few computers down, grabbing a folder and holding it out to Rose. "Going to see Daddy?"
Rose nodded, placing her folders on top of Duane's as she took it from him. "Yeah. He in there?" She nodded toward his office.
"Yep," Duane answered, head already bent over his monitor again. "Said he wanted to see you straight off."
Sharing a look with Tia, Rose headed toward Pete's office, hoping like hell she hadn't been caught. Not just because of the possibility of being taken off the project, but because Tia was a good person, and she didn't want her to get fired. If she did, and it was because of her, Rose wouldn't be able to face her again.
Tapping on Pete's door, she waited for his shout of, "Come in!" before turning the knob and stepping inside. He looked up from his desk with a smile as she entered. "Ah. Morning."
Rose smiled back, trying not to let her relief show. Hiding her sigh beneath her smile, she crossed the small room. Her foot got stuck on something and she fell forward, dropping the folders to the floor and catching herself on his desk. Glaring at the rug, she straightened up, hiding her embarrassment behind a frown. "When you gonna fix that thing?"
He sat back in his chair, pretending confusion. "Fix what?"
Rolling her eyes, she gathered up the folders and tossed them to his desk. "Torchwood files."
Grabbing the edges, he pushed them back a little, freeing a file underneath it, holding it out to her. "Here."
"What's this?" Sitting on the single chair in front of the desk, she glanced at the paper. It was from Santiago. A letter to all jumpers that all jumps were to be spaced at a minimum of four days apart now. "Why?" She tossed the paper back onto his desk and stood up. "Is there any reason for it? I swear he's making this up as he goes along."
"It's possible he is, Rose, but no one really has the data needed for judging these things." Circling around, he sat on his desk, facing her. "Your mum was upset the other night." He paused a beat, then continued when she merely crossed her arms over her chest, not saying anything. "She missed you when you came to get Tony... and she thinks you planned it that way on purpose."
Dropping her arms, she stared up at the ceiling for a moment, feeling guilt pour through her. "I didn't... not-- not really." Sighing, trying to explain her frustration to Pete, she rubbed her forehead. "I just... I feel so guilty for not being able to tell her. She deserves to know what I'm doing. What'll happen when I find the Doctor." Tossing her arms out in frustration, she let them drop, smacking her thighs in the process. "I'll never see her again, Pete. Or Tony."
He sniffed and sat back a little before getting to his feet and putting a hand on her shoulder. "I know. I'm not enjoying lying to her either, but it's best this way."
She opened her mouth to refute that, but he shook his head, moving back behind his desk.
"No unnecessary worrying." Glancing at the folders she'd brought him, he flipped one open, then returned his eyes to her. "If she knew, all she'd do is worry about the day she'll lose you. This way, she'll only have to find out when it happens." Frowning, he held up the folder. "It's empty."
Blinking at it, she shrugged and headed for the door. "Odd. Duane told me to give it to you." Glancing at her watch, she opened the door and paused, turning back to Pete. "I know this is better for mum, but I still feel bad for keeping her in the dark."
Head ducking down a bit, he nodded. "Me too."
Leaving his office, she went to suit up for her first official jump in a week.
*~*~*~*~*~*
Eyes darting around, trying to take in everything at once, Rose spun in a slow circle. Moonlight afforded her a good view of the chaos surrounding her, as did the pools of light coming from the overhead streetlamps lining the pavement and the car park.
A soft, warm wind blew her way, and she gagged, pressing her hand to her mouth and nose.
The stench was horrible.
Watering eyes surveying the area, she took in the people on the ground, the dead bodies in the street. A broken bottle at her feet was covered in blood, the sharp, jagged edges painted red, and she was pretty sure she could see skin and hair on it, though she didn't look too closely. Didn't want to.
People were everywhere, coughing and moaning, crying pitifully, pulling and scratching at their skin, some muttering to themselves. A small boy sat on the curb, rubbing his eyes with the heels of his hands while his foot kicked repeatedly at a dead animal. His mum merely watched the sight with dull, uncaring eyes.
When she closed her own eyes, she could still see them all. See blood running from this woman's mouth, or that man's ears.
Men, women, children, all ages, all colors, all sizes, dying everywhere, on the grass, on the street, on the pavement, inside cars.
She shuddered, wanting to go to them, to help them, and yet, knowing that it was a bad idea, she stayed where she was, in the middle of the street, unable to move. This couldn't be her universe; the Powell Estates didn't exist in this world, or if it had, it didn't anymore.
Instead, there was a hospital there, filled to capacity if the long queues were any indication. Rows upon rows of people were standing on line, waiting to get in. Some were sitting or lying on the ground, others being pushed in wheelchairs and shopping trolleys.
Nurses moved among them, masks over their faces, administering shots and pills while orderlies dragged the dead bodies around the corner of the hospital.
At least, she hoped they were dead.
This was what Jake had jumped into? The Earth he'd visited with Chelsea with a report that stated a mild illness going around? Santiago had examined them, run extensive tests on them both and found nothing. Tia had told her.
But, what had happened then? Had the illness got worse? Was this a different stage of a virus, or-- or...?
Closing her eyes against the children wandering around, she turned and walked away from their loud cries of pain and low moans of despair. Her heart clenched in her chest. They were dying. All of them, just sitting around, waiting to die.
No one had noticed her, and if they had, they'd kept their curiosity to themselves, and, looking into the eyes of a man as he passed her on the street, she could see why. They were already dead on the inside.
Their bodies were just slow to catch up.
Walking, moving away from the smells, the sounds, the sights of the dying, she kept her hand over her face and broke into a run, rounding a corner and nearly running into an old woman. Hands out, she steadied the woman, ripping her hands free as soon as she realized what she was doing.
How was it transferred?
Unobtrusively wiping her hands on her jeans, she took a step back, trying to move around her. "Sorry."
But a hand snaked out and grabbed her arm, thin, bony fingers digging into the fabric of her hoodie. "It's coming," the woman told her, wrinkled face closing the distance between them, breath blowing across Rose's mouth.
Rose jerked back, scrabbling at the hand clutching her arm, trying to remove it, to get it off of her.
Managing to loosen the fingers, she tossed the woman's hand aside and backed up. Red-rimmed eyes, pale skin, weak, and frail, the woman coughed and coughed, making Rose back away further, pulling her mobile out as she went.
Hacking coughs nearly felled the woman. She grabbed onto the side of the building with a grizzled hand and angled her eyes at Rose. "It's coming," she gasped between coughs. Her other hand lifted up, arthritic finger pointing at Rose. "No one's safe!"
Trepidation pouring through her, Rose carefully moved around the woman and dialed the TARDIS. Darting a look back, she breathed a sigh of relief to see the woman gone. Hurrying away, dodging bodies walking toward her and bodies littering the street, she held the phone to her ear and listened to the static.
Nothing.
Hanging up and redialing, she pressed the mobile to her ear and headed down an alley. It was empty, free of the wailing of pained cries.
Still nothing.
Gasping, she snapped her phone shut with shaking hands, trying not to drop it to the filthy ground. She wrapped her hands around it, holding it to her chest, staring down the mouth of the alley. People shuffled by, half alive, half dead, and tears burned her eyes as realization hit her.
These people were dying. All of them. This whole planet could be dying of a plague, and now she might have it as well. Was it airborne? Transferred through touch?
Oh, god.
Shoving her mobile into her pocket, she fingered her jumper. This wasn't her home. She could go back now.
But she hesitated. She could be taking whatever it was back to Pete's World, and she couldn't do that. Not to Pete, or Tia, or her mum. Tony.
Biting her lip, she stared at the people, the bodies lining the streets. Bloated, swollen bodies.
She backed against the wall, watching the square of light, watching the dark shapes cross from one side to the other. Pulling her sleeves over her hands, she slid down the wall, eyes fixing on a row of bright yellow posters lining the wall across from her, the only spot of color in the dark night.
Was she going to die here? Die of a virus she'd never heard of on a planet where no one knew her?
Shoving her sleeve up, she stared at the long, thin scar there. They'd try to bring her back. Pete wasn't going to just allow her to stay here. Even if it were her universe, he'd bring her back so that she could tell her mum and say goodbye.
She'd have to make it impossible for them to do that.
Closing her eyes, she dropped her head to her knees and fought back tears, searching for something sharp to do the job with. She couldn't stop them from coming after her, but she could keep them from pulling her back. Scrambling around on hands and knees, she searched the ground, looking for something, anything that would work.
And then, she'd have to go somewhere. She couldn't just stay here. She had to do something, had to--
Crumpling up one of the yellow posters that'd fallen to the ground, she was about to toss it aside when she read a few words on it. Danger. Illness. Warning.
They weren't any old posters. Climbing to her feet, she took it to a beam of moonlight. They were warning posters.
She read quickly, eyes darting over the information.
It wasn't transferred through touch, or through bodily fluids, and it wasn't in the air. It was in the water!
Heart hammering, Rose dropped the poster and pressed the button on her jumper without even removing it from its pouch. Just as she did, a high-pitched scream sounded and a man came running down the alley toward her, arms flailing, mad eyes fixing directly on her.
Drawing in a breath, she let the void pull at her.
Once she was back at Torchwood Estates, she dropped to the floor, catching her breath and blinking at the bright lights. Tia was there, tapping on the computer, doing her tech thing. Rose had the desire to run over and hug her, but she resisted.
Standing up, she stretched her shoulders and neck, feeling like a pretzel that'd just been unfurled.
Eyeing Tia, she brushed herself off a few times. "That's Jake's jump then?" she asked casually, not moving any closer, still a little unnerved at the close call.
"Yup."
Rose closed her eyes and forced herself to relax. "No connection," she mumbled, holding out her phone. "Wasn't the right universe." Ducking her head, she crossed to the armory and began putting her things away.
Tia was silent for a moment, then said what she'd begun to say after every failed night jump. "You'll snog him next time."
*~*~*~*~*~*
Fingers dipping into the bowl on the table, Rose scooped up a handful of peanuts and tossed a few into her mouth. Ryan snorted with laughter and she hid a grin as Mickey continued, holding his hands apart like he was telling a tall fish tale.
"...this far away. She ran screaming into the night, and we had to track her down again."
Loud laughter broke out around the table.
"No," Mickey giggled, "seriously, and then-- and then she... she slimed him three more times before we got her!" He sat back, laughing so hard he could hardly breathe as the rest of the table burst into laughter again. He tried to take a drink of his ale, but ended up spilling half of it down his black shirt. "Hell, Tosh's gonna have a bloody cow now."
"She talking to you again?" Jake asked with a snort of laughter, smirking when Mickey sent him a scathing look. "Good to know you're not in the doghouse anymore."
Wondering what Jake was on about, Rose darted her eyes to Mickey's, but he looked away, occupying himself with grabbing a handful of napkins and swiping them down his jumper. His eyes rose to hers for a second before dropping again. Unsure what was going on, she vowed to ask him about it later. For now, they were among friends and having a good time, so she'd leave him alone about it. "Slob," she snickered when he threw the sopping napkins onto the table.
"Oi," he complained, wagging a finger at her. "I'll have no more of that, miss vinegar-stain."
Chuckling, Rose tucked her chin on her chest and peered down her blouse at the vinegar-soaked spot over her right breast. She pouted and rubbed at it ineffectually. "Elbows," she muttered, glaring at Duane beside her.
He held his hands up innocently with a grin. "Don't look at me," he sniggered, downing more of his ale. "Not my fault you can't hold your liquor."
Annoyed, she jabbed her elbow into his side, making him dribble a bit of his drink down his chin.
Tia broke into fresh gales of laughter and tossed peanuts at Duane's forehead.
Ryan, sitting on her other side, snickered quietly and shifted closer to her. She was completely aware of it. He'd been doing it all night. Three hours of Ryan's arm accidentally brushing hers, his hand so close to hers on the table. And all the looks she caught out of the corner of her eye.
How she'd never noticed his attention until Mickey told her, she'd never know. He was completely obvious about it.
Sighing when his hand landed partially on her thigh, she stretched her neck and glanced at him, smiling a bit until he removed his hand with a blush.
It was sad how much she wasn't attracted to him. She almost wished she were. He was handsome, with his short blonde hair and the spattering of freckles on his nose. Frowning, she realized she was staring at him. When did he get freckles? Had he always had them? The Doctor had the cutest freckles on his cheeks and nose and neck.
Did he have them everywhere?
That was a question she'd have to ask when she returned to her universe. She smiled and leaned back as Duane and Mickey fought over who got the next round. Letting her head tilt to the side, she wondered what the Doctor would say if she asked him if he had freckles everywhere. Would he raise his brows and let his lips lift just the tiniest bit to let her know he heard her before babbling on about something else? Or would he turn away and occupy himself, ignoring her question completely?
She was sure he'd not answer her.
If she had her druthers though, she'd find out first hand. By actually stripping him naked and peering closely at every inch of skin he possessed. Touching too. Oh, definitely touching.
Smirking, she breathed in deeply, and licked her lips. Buzzed and halfway to being pissed, she suddenly popped her eyes open, remembering where she was. Sitting up straighter, she pushed her hair out of her face and fought off the weariness swamping her. The double jumping was beginning to take a toll on her body.
An image of the people from the plague planet came to mind as it usually did when she was feeling less than a hundred percent, but she'd never developed any symptoms. And she hadn't drunk any of the water.
So, she was safe.
They all had ten official jumps under their belts at this point. Impressive and a nice start, but she was still coming back at night to make an extra jump to make sure they weren't missing the Doctor. Though they all insisted they were calling for him on their mobiles, she had this sneaking suspicion they weren't.
Well, Mickey was, she was positive of that. He knew. He understood that she needed to get back to the Doctor. That she had to find him.
Fighting off a yawn, she gulped down the rest of her ale and leaned back again, sinking into the booth. When her eyes began to drift closed again, she felt someone kick her leg. Snapping her eyes open, she blinked blearily at Tia who was frowning at her.
How the other woman wasn't as exhausted as she was, Rose had no idea.
Nodding minutely, she pushed up and drew in a deep, clearing breath. "Think I'm going to go," she told the others.
"I just got you another," Duane complained, but hands were already taking her mug, though she didn't see whose. Didn't care either.
"Sorry," she mumbled, yawning again as she pushed on Ryan to get him to let her out of the booth. "Haven't been sleeping much."
Jake snickered and pulled her arm lightly. "Don't be tellin' Santiago, or he'll try to stop us from jumping again." Rolling his eyes, he tossed a handful of peanuts into his mouth and chewed, annoyed. "I sneezed after he okayed me from that planet with the sick people? And he wanted to put me in quarantine."
Rose's heart stopped for a moment and she lost her footing, nearly falling onto Jake's lap, but Ryan's arm circled around her waist, catching her, hauling her back onto her feet. He didn't let go for a few moments and she found that she didn't hate the feel of him touching her, which surprised her. It felt nice. Comforting.
Her attention drifted from Santiago and sharpened on Ryan.
Mickey cleared his throat loudly, glancing pointedly at the two of them, then snickered when Ryan jerked his arm free and looked away, blushing.
Grabbing her coat and purse, Rose smacked Mickey's shoulder and leaned down to kiss his cheek. "Behave," she whispered in his ear.
He merely snorted with laughter and tossed back the rest of his drink. "Where's the fun in that?"
"I need a ride," Rose said, straightening up and spinning around to stare at Ryan. "Would you--"
"Of course," he jumped in eagerly, smiling widely as he placed his hand behind her back and led her between booths and tables. Rose tossed a wave over her shoulder, ignoring the laughter of their friends. She didn't know what they were smirking about, nothing was going to happen, she was positive of that.
Even if he did smell nice.
And even if his hand felt nice against her back; warm and gentle, but firm, guiding her toward his car through the dark, foggy night. Moonlight speared through the clouds, creating shafts of light that sparkled off the dense fog, creating a diamond-like quality to the water droplets hanging in the air. It was a beautiful night. A bit cold though.
Pulling her jacket a little tighter around her, she inhaled deeply, breathing in the cool air, trying to clear her mind and un-fog her head.
Exhaling sharply, she watched her breath leave her mouth in a cloud.
There it was again. That smell.
Turning around, she stared at Ryan, frowning up into his startled eyes, trying to figure out why it was so familiar. It tickled her nose. "What is that?" she muttered, leaning toward him to sniff his shoulder. "Why do you smell like that?"
"I-- I don't--" he began, looking confused, but she quickly cut him off with a kiss.
She had no control over herself in that moment. Something about him drew her in, made her press her lips to his and immediately open her mouth, forcing him backward until he hit something solid. They both stopped moving at the same time, but she couldn't stop kissing him. Her mouth and her arms seemed to be of one mind, and that wasn't the same as her brain, which was screaming at her that this wasn't the Doctor.
Like she'd been doused with cold water, she suddenly pulled away from him, tearing her lips from his and stumbling back a few steps. Staring at Ryan, she felt nausea rise up in her. She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand and gasped out a few breaths, sucking in a new, clearer breath as she realized what she'd just done.
"I'm sorry," she whispered.
Ryan, still supporting himself on the car behind him, shook his head jerkily. "No. Don't--" pushing away from the car, he licked his lips and move forward, a small smile lighting up his face as he reached for her. "I didn't think you..."
Hating herself for what she'd just done, she shook her head and backed up again, holding her hands out to stop him. "Ryan, I didn't mean to..." closing her eyes, she sighed deeply, mentally smacking herself for making things extremely awkward between them, because she saw--briefly, before closing her eyes--the hurt in his eyes. The confusion. "I-- you smelt like... something familiar." Unable to find the words to explain it to him when she couldn't even explain it to herself, she dropped her head back on her shoulders and stared up at the night sky dotted with stars.
Out of the corner of her eye, she saw someone disappearing around the corner of the pub.
Snapping her head down, she stared in disbelief at the spot where he'd vanished. It couldn't be. Could it? Is that why she'd smelt him?
Oh, god. Realization pouring through her, she dashed after the man, hoping he hadn't seen her and Ryan. Hoping he didn't think she'd moved on, that she didn't want to travel with him anymore. That she didn't love him. Only him.
"Rose! Where're you going?" Ryan yelled after her, footsteps pounding the pavement behind her.
Her own steps slowed as she rounded the corner, and Ryan halted beside her. The street was empty but for a trio of teenagers across the way. Dark streets up and down, there was no police box, but--
There was an alley nearby. She ran to it and rounded the corner wildly, hand scraping against the stone of the pub as she went. It was empty, there was no wheezing, roaring sound of her universe righting itself. "Did you see him?" she asked Ryan as he ran up beside her.
Panting, he glanced around them. "No. What was it, what'd you see?" Reaching into his coat, he pulled out a stun gun, and Rose raised her eyebrows at him. "What? We work for Torchwood where aliens are the norm, you really think I'm stupid enough not to be ready when I come up against some of those nasties?"
Chuckling, she shook her head and looked for another place the Doctor could've gone. "He's not dangerous. Put that away."
Disappointment washed through her. There was nothing, nowhere for him to hide. An alley across the street from the one she was standing at the entrance of, but it was just as empty as this one. A zeppelin floated by, blocking out the moonlight for a few moments.
Pulling her mobile from her pocket, she dialed the TARDIS, and as she waited for it to ring, she cupped her hands over her mouth. "Doctor!"
Ryan watched her from a few feet away, frowning as she continued to shout. "Rose..."
"I saw him," she said clearly, the buzz of alcohol dissipating as she took off down the street, looking into shop windows and checking doors, banging on a few of them as she passed. The teenagers down the street were staring at her, laughing; one of them howled like a wolf. She ignored them, and Ryan, who followed closely behind, stun gun back in his pocket. "I swear, Ryan. He was right there."
"I didn't see anyone--"
"He was behind you! Of course you didn't see anything." Feeling irritated at his calm manner and skepticism, she ran down to the next block and stood in the middle of the street, peering into the darkness as it began to drizzle. "Doctor!"
Her phone didn't ring. Didn't buzz, didn't make any sound that might alert her to him being here. There was only static.
"Rose, come on. There's no one here." Ryan's hand landed on her arm and she rudely shrugged it off. He sighed and slipped his hands into his pants pockets and she wanted to yell at him not to do that, because he looked like the Doctor and he shouldn't. He shouldn't look anything like the Doctor.
His tall, lean body was too reminiscent of him. The way his blonde hair fell over his forehead was too much like the Doctor's.
And that smell.
"It was the Doctor," she said confidently, though she was beginning to doubt herself a bit. "He was here. I saw him." Shoving her mobile back into her pocket, she rubbed her head, feeling a headache coming on. She left the street, heading back the other way, keeing her eyes open, darting her gaze to every shadow, every noise, every hiding spot.
"It was guilt," Ryan called after her.
Peering into a shop window, she spun around to stare at him in disbelief. "What?"
Halting a few feet from her, he shrugged as if it were obvious. "You kissed me. Then you saw him."
"Why would that make me feel guilty?" she scoffed, feeling the uncomfortable weight of guilt settling over her again at what she'd done. He was right. She did feel guilty for kissing him, but how would he know that it wasn't just because she'd done something she regretted?
How did he know it was because she felt like she'd cheated on the Doctor, even though it was directly because of the Doctor that she'd snogged him in the first place?
Scratching his head, he glanced away for a second, then fixed his gaze on their shoes. "You're in love with him."
Stunned, she stared back at Ryan. Were her feelings for the Doctor that obvious? Obvious enough that everyone saw them? She didn't make a habit of sharing things with everyone she knew. In fact, she tried rather desperately not to let her feelings show, so how did everyone seem to know?
That didn't matter right now though, because he was right, and he knew it.
And, he was, quite possibly, one of the nicest guys she'd ever known. Even Mickey had his bitter side. But Ryan, he wasn't judging her, he was just stating facts.
His eyes, so innocent and guileless, and the only thing aside from his hair color that truly didn't look anything like the Doctor's, watched her. There was no blame there, no anger, just concern. "But I didn't see him, Rose. And you were nearly pissed."
Turning back to the pub, she headed toward the parking lot. "I know what I saw. Black leather jacket, boots, and a red jumper."
Joining her on her trek to their cars, he hummed a little in agreement, but then reached out to halt her again. "Hang on, I thought he wore brown pinstripes and Chucks."
"He does," she said impatiently, shaking her arm free. "I just said--" but, no. She hadn't said that. So then, what had she seen?
She'd just chased a phantom of her old Doctor.
Big nose, short hair, leather jacket, that... that was not what the Doctor looked like. Unless he'd regenerated again and he looked like he used to.
That wasn't possible though; he'd told her that much after the Sycorax.
Rubbing her head harder, she tried to think, to figure out what'd just happened. "Brown pinstripes," she muttered, spotting her car and moving toward it. The alcohol was nearly out of her system now, thanks to the shock of seeing/not seeing the Doctor, so she felt safe enough driving home on her own. Not to mention the awkwardness of spending the next ten minutes in a car with Ryan after the way she'd just behaved. "I wasn't thinking. Sorry, I-- haven't been sleeping well."
"Maybe you should see Santiago, get some pills or something." He tossed her a look, encouraging conversation, but she pretended not to notice. "I sleep like the dead, myself."
"I used to," she sighed, remembering better times, more innocent times. Times when the Doctor had knocked on her bedroom door, waking her from a dead sleep to tell her it was time to go because a planet's single festive holiday for the decade was being held, or a storm of epic proportions was brewing in the ocean of the seventh moon of Ion or something.
Times when she'd been happy. It felt like more than five years had passed since then. It felt like a decade or more.
"Sure you're okay to drive?" Ryan asked as they reached her car, which shone silver with mist and fat droplets of rain. He didn't push, didn't tell her he needed to drive her home.
He was really sweet.
"I'm fine," she muttered digging into her pocket for her keys. Yanking them free, she sighed and glanced at Ryan. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have kissed you." Chuckling, she added, "I'm not even sure why I did." But that was a lie. It was the scent surrounding them in the parking lot, something that reminded her of the Doctor, though it wasn't his specific smell.
Ryan grinned shamefacedly. "'Cause of my boyish good looks and irresistible charms?"
Smiling, wishing she could say that that was exactly what had happened, she lifted her brows at him. "That must be it." Unlocking her door, she turned to him again. "I'm sorry."
He shrugged his shoulders, hands buried deep in his pockets. "Don't be. It was... fun."
Laughing, she shook her head. "Daftness and all?"
Tilting his head to the side, he nodded. "Yeah."
Definitely a nice guy. Slipping behind the wheel, she shoved the key into the ignition and turned it. She pulled the seatbelt across her waist, clicking it into place, then released it and re-locked it tightly, to make sure it was secure. Turning the heat on, she watched Ryan walk away in the rearview mirror and then let her breath out in a rush.
Shivering, she braced her hands on the steering wheel, letting out the sobs of disappointment and regret that had been threatening since she'd first glimpsed what she thought was the Doctor.
Chapter 5
Author: sinecure - My master fic list
Character/Pairing: Rose, Pete, Mickey, Jackie
Rating: Teen
Genre: AU, Action/adventure, mystery, drama, angst, romance
Summary: Rose Tyler traveled through universes to get back to the Doctor. What did she see in those universes, and how did they affect her?
Disclaimer: I don't own Doctor Who.
Thanks: to momdaegmorgan for the beta, and the prompt, and the constant inspiration to finish this thing. And the cheerleading recently.
- Prologue
- Chapter 1
- Chapter 2
- Chapter 3
Covering her mouth with her hand, Rose yawned and squinted up at the sun. Feeling a dull ache behind her eyes, she pushed her sunglasses higher up on her nose, then let her arm flop to the bench.
"He's making me tired just watching him," Mickey muttered from where he was slumped beside her. Holding his cup of coffee between his palms, he blew on it, sending the steam in her direction.
The smell of the caffeinated drink perked her up a bit. She'd only got a few hours of sleep the night before, after her intruder-fears had passed, and she felt sort of blah today. Though the sun was bright, it was cloudy, and cold, and her side ached, and her head hurt. "He never sits still, him." She trailed her brother with just her eyes, watching as he ran around a tree a dozen meters away, playing with another boy he'd met just minutes earlier. "Even in his sleep he kicks and throws his arms around. Pete calls him a kung-fu sleeper."
Mickey chuckled and drank a sip of his coffee, then turned lazily toward her, nudging her arm. "Tosh wanted me to remind you about supper next week." Dipping his sunglasses down, he pleaded with her with his eyes. "Please, whatever you do, don't cancel. With all the wedding hullabaloo--"
Rose snickered, earning herself a glare.
"--Tosh is on a tear. Every little thing," he stressed, sitting forward and turning toward her, "every tiny, little thing, and she blames me. Doesn't matter what it is. Never had her pegged as the stressed-bride type."
Rolling her eyes beneath the safety of her sunglasses, Rose shrugged and sat up a little straighter, trying not to look like such a slouch. "Not planning on canceling, so you're safe from the big, bad Tosh."
"Hush, you," he snarled, wagging a finger at her, "or I'll send her to your flat every time she starts in on me."
Glancing over to where Tony last was, Rose felt a moment of panic at seeing the empty grass, but then he ran out from behind one of the trees, giggling with the other boy as they started somersaulting. Rose forced herself to relax.
Not everything was a dire situation or an emergency in the making.
"She's just stressed. Torchwood's driving her mildly mental and you're doing what all to help her?" Shoving her glasses back up, she rubbed her head and turned toward him. "And while we're on the subject of Tosh, might wanna stop calling me babe, at least around her. She doesn't like it."
Mickey's face went blank and Rose suddenly had the feeling she'd stepped on a touchy subject. "Doesn't mean anything. Told her that too," he sniffed.
"Right. Well, still." Sitting back again, she watched Tony run their way. "She's the one you're marrying."
Voice stiff, he sat back as well. "I know who I'm marrying."
"Rose," Tony called out, still a few meters away, and she took the opportunity it afforded to change the subject. "Rose!"
"What?" she asked, mildly amused as he ran pell-mell toward them.
"Can we get an ice cream? John--that's the kid I was playing with--he said his dad is getting him ice cream and there's a truck over in the car park and can we get some too, please, Rose?"
The thought of ice cream in this cold weather made her shiver, but she couldn't say no to him, not if this might be the last time she saw him. Not if, during her next jump, she found the Doctor. "Sure, sweetie."
Mickey swept Tony up onto his shoulders as the boy skidded to a stop on the concrete in front of them, sporting a huge grin. "Ice cream coming up, bud."
"Oi," Tony complained, squirming around on Mickey's shoulders as a token protest to his position. "I'm too old to be up here, Mickey." He squirmed a little more, making himself more comfortable rather than trying to get put down.
Rose grinned and patted his leg, grabbing his trainer-clad foot and swinging it back and forth a little. "Better hold still before he drops you."
Mickey raised an eyebrow at her, visible just above his sunglasses. "Never happen."
Frowning, she looked across the park, unsure why she suddenly felt a slight uncomfortable twinge between them.
*~*~*~*~*~*
The noise in the hotel the next day was loud and harried. People were rushing back and forth between the computers and Pete's office, and Rose felt a moment of panic. She searched out Tia, and, not finding her, felt her panic grow.
Had they found out? Did they know about the extra jump?
Tia had told her she could hide the jumps by burying the energy signatures deep in the computers, but what if she hadn't buried them deep enough? Pete might know, and that wasn't good.
But then Tia left Pete's office, smiling at Rose as she passed. "Hey, thought you were gonna miss your first jump in a week," she told her.
Rose frowned, thinking surely Tia's little wink would give away their activities from last night, but no alarms were raised, Pete didn't yell for her to get into his office, and the harried pace of the lobby didn't suddenly come to a stop as everyone pointed at her, proclaiming her guilt.
Feeling a little off-kilter, she pulled out the files she'd been working on the night before and headed toward Pete's office.
Duane looked up when she passed in front of the computers and winked at her. "Hey, babe."
"You wish," Tia snickered, smacking his arm as she sat down beside him.
Spinning around, Duane pushed his wheeled chair along the table a few computers down, grabbing a folder and holding it out to Rose. "Going to see Daddy?"
Rose nodded, placing her folders on top of Duane's as she took it from him. "Yeah. He in there?" She nodded toward his office.
"Yep," Duane answered, head already bent over his monitor again. "Said he wanted to see you straight off."
Sharing a look with Tia, Rose headed toward Pete's office, hoping like hell she hadn't been caught. Not just because of the possibility of being taken off the project, but because Tia was a good person, and she didn't want her to get fired. If she did, and it was because of her, Rose wouldn't be able to face her again.
Tapping on Pete's door, she waited for his shout of, "Come in!" before turning the knob and stepping inside. He looked up from his desk with a smile as she entered. "Ah. Morning."
Rose smiled back, trying not to let her relief show. Hiding her sigh beneath her smile, she crossed the small room. Her foot got stuck on something and she fell forward, dropping the folders to the floor and catching herself on his desk. Glaring at the rug, she straightened up, hiding her embarrassment behind a frown. "When you gonna fix that thing?"
He sat back in his chair, pretending confusion. "Fix what?"
Rolling her eyes, she gathered up the folders and tossed them to his desk. "Torchwood files."
Grabbing the edges, he pushed them back a little, freeing a file underneath it, holding it out to her. "Here."
"What's this?" Sitting on the single chair in front of the desk, she glanced at the paper. It was from Santiago. A letter to all jumpers that all jumps were to be spaced at a minimum of four days apart now. "Why?" She tossed the paper back onto his desk and stood up. "Is there any reason for it? I swear he's making this up as he goes along."
"It's possible he is, Rose, but no one really has the data needed for judging these things." Circling around, he sat on his desk, facing her. "Your mum was upset the other night." He paused a beat, then continued when she merely crossed her arms over her chest, not saying anything. "She missed you when you came to get Tony... and she thinks you planned it that way on purpose."
Dropping her arms, she stared up at the ceiling for a moment, feeling guilt pour through her. "I didn't... not-- not really." Sighing, trying to explain her frustration to Pete, she rubbed her forehead. "I just... I feel so guilty for not being able to tell her. She deserves to know what I'm doing. What'll happen when I find the Doctor." Tossing her arms out in frustration, she let them drop, smacking her thighs in the process. "I'll never see her again, Pete. Or Tony."
He sniffed and sat back a little before getting to his feet and putting a hand on her shoulder. "I know. I'm not enjoying lying to her either, but it's best this way."
She opened her mouth to refute that, but he shook his head, moving back behind his desk.
"No unnecessary worrying." Glancing at the folders she'd brought him, he flipped one open, then returned his eyes to her. "If she knew, all she'd do is worry about the day she'll lose you. This way, she'll only have to find out when it happens." Frowning, he held up the folder. "It's empty."
Blinking at it, she shrugged and headed for the door. "Odd. Duane told me to give it to you." Glancing at her watch, she opened the door and paused, turning back to Pete. "I know this is better for mum, but I still feel bad for keeping her in the dark."
Head ducking down a bit, he nodded. "Me too."
Leaving his office, she went to suit up for her first official jump in a week.
*~*~*~*~*~*
Eyes darting around, trying to take in everything at once, Rose spun in a slow circle. Moonlight afforded her a good view of the chaos surrounding her, as did the pools of light coming from the overhead streetlamps lining the pavement and the car park.
A soft, warm wind blew her way, and she gagged, pressing her hand to her mouth and nose.
The stench was horrible.
Watering eyes surveying the area, she took in the people on the ground, the dead bodies in the street. A broken bottle at her feet was covered in blood, the sharp, jagged edges painted red, and she was pretty sure she could see skin and hair on it, though she didn't look too closely. Didn't want to.
People were everywhere, coughing and moaning, crying pitifully, pulling and scratching at their skin, some muttering to themselves. A small boy sat on the curb, rubbing his eyes with the heels of his hands while his foot kicked repeatedly at a dead animal. His mum merely watched the sight with dull, uncaring eyes.
When she closed her own eyes, she could still see them all. See blood running from this woman's mouth, or that man's ears.
Men, women, children, all ages, all colors, all sizes, dying everywhere, on the grass, on the street, on the pavement, inside cars.
She shuddered, wanting to go to them, to help them, and yet, knowing that it was a bad idea, she stayed where she was, in the middle of the street, unable to move. This couldn't be her universe; the Powell Estates didn't exist in this world, or if it had, it didn't anymore.
Instead, there was a hospital there, filled to capacity if the long queues were any indication. Rows upon rows of people were standing on line, waiting to get in. Some were sitting or lying on the ground, others being pushed in wheelchairs and shopping trolleys.
Nurses moved among them, masks over their faces, administering shots and pills while orderlies dragged the dead bodies around the corner of the hospital.
At least, she hoped they were dead.
This was what Jake had jumped into? The Earth he'd visited with Chelsea with a report that stated a mild illness going around? Santiago had examined them, run extensive tests on them both and found nothing. Tia had told her.
But, what had happened then? Had the illness got worse? Was this a different stage of a virus, or-- or...?
Closing her eyes against the children wandering around, she turned and walked away from their loud cries of pain and low moans of despair. Her heart clenched in her chest. They were dying. All of them, just sitting around, waiting to die.
No one had noticed her, and if they had, they'd kept their curiosity to themselves, and, looking into the eyes of a man as he passed her on the street, she could see why. They were already dead on the inside.
Their bodies were just slow to catch up.
Walking, moving away from the smells, the sounds, the sights of the dying, she kept her hand over her face and broke into a run, rounding a corner and nearly running into an old woman. Hands out, she steadied the woman, ripping her hands free as soon as she realized what she was doing.
How was it transferred?
Unobtrusively wiping her hands on her jeans, she took a step back, trying to move around her. "Sorry."
But a hand snaked out and grabbed her arm, thin, bony fingers digging into the fabric of her hoodie. "It's coming," the woman told her, wrinkled face closing the distance between them, breath blowing across Rose's mouth.
Rose jerked back, scrabbling at the hand clutching her arm, trying to remove it, to get it off of her.
Managing to loosen the fingers, she tossed the woman's hand aside and backed up. Red-rimmed eyes, pale skin, weak, and frail, the woman coughed and coughed, making Rose back away further, pulling her mobile out as she went.
Hacking coughs nearly felled the woman. She grabbed onto the side of the building with a grizzled hand and angled her eyes at Rose. "It's coming," she gasped between coughs. Her other hand lifted up, arthritic finger pointing at Rose. "No one's safe!"
Trepidation pouring through her, Rose carefully moved around the woman and dialed the TARDIS. Darting a look back, she breathed a sigh of relief to see the woman gone. Hurrying away, dodging bodies walking toward her and bodies littering the street, she held the phone to her ear and listened to the static.
Nothing.
Hanging up and redialing, she pressed the mobile to her ear and headed down an alley. It was empty, free of the wailing of pained cries.
Still nothing.
Gasping, she snapped her phone shut with shaking hands, trying not to drop it to the filthy ground. She wrapped her hands around it, holding it to her chest, staring down the mouth of the alley. People shuffled by, half alive, half dead, and tears burned her eyes as realization hit her.
These people were dying. All of them. This whole planet could be dying of a plague, and now she might have it as well. Was it airborne? Transferred through touch?
Oh, god.
Shoving her mobile into her pocket, she fingered her jumper. This wasn't her home. She could go back now.
But she hesitated. She could be taking whatever it was back to Pete's World, and she couldn't do that. Not to Pete, or Tia, or her mum. Tony.
Biting her lip, she stared at the people, the bodies lining the streets. Bloated, swollen bodies.
She backed against the wall, watching the square of light, watching the dark shapes cross from one side to the other. Pulling her sleeves over her hands, she slid down the wall, eyes fixing on a row of bright yellow posters lining the wall across from her, the only spot of color in the dark night.
Was she going to die here? Die of a virus she'd never heard of on a planet where no one knew her?
Shoving her sleeve up, she stared at the long, thin scar there. They'd try to bring her back. Pete wasn't going to just allow her to stay here. Even if it were her universe, he'd bring her back so that she could tell her mum and say goodbye.
She'd have to make it impossible for them to do that.
Closing her eyes, she dropped her head to her knees and fought back tears, searching for something sharp to do the job with. She couldn't stop them from coming after her, but she could keep them from pulling her back. Scrambling around on hands and knees, she searched the ground, looking for something, anything that would work.
And then, she'd have to go somewhere. She couldn't just stay here. She had to do something, had to--
Crumpling up one of the yellow posters that'd fallen to the ground, she was about to toss it aside when she read a few words on it. Danger. Illness. Warning.
They weren't any old posters. Climbing to her feet, she took it to a beam of moonlight. They were warning posters.
She read quickly, eyes darting over the information.
It wasn't transferred through touch, or through bodily fluids, and it wasn't in the air. It was in the water!
Heart hammering, Rose dropped the poster and pressed the button on her jumper without even removing it from its pouch. Just as she did, a high-pitched scream sounded and a man came running down the alley toward her, arms flailing, mad eyes fixing directly on her.
Drawing in a breath, she let the void pull at her.
Once she was back at Torchwood Estates, she dropped to the floor, catching her breath and blinking at the bright lights. Tia was there, tapping on the computer, doing her tech thing. Rose had the desire to run over and hug her, but she resisted.
Standing up, she stretched her shoulders and neck, feeling like a pretzel that'd just been unfurled.
Eyeing Tia, she brushed herself off a few times. "That's Jake's jump then?" she asked casually, not moving any closer, still a little unnerved at the close call.
"Yup."
Rose closed her eyes and forced herself to relax. "No connection," she mumbled, holding out her phone. "Wasn't the right universe." Ducking her head, she crossed to the armory and began putting her things away.
Tia was silent for a moment, then said what she'd begun to say after every failed night jump. "You'll snog him next time."
*~*~*~*~*~*
Fingers dipping into the bowl on the table, Rose scooped up a handful of peanuts and tossed a few into her mouth. Ryan snorted with laughter and she hid a grin as Mickey continued, holding his hands apart like he was telling a tall fish tale.
"...this far away. She ran screaming into the night, and we had to track her down again."
Loud laughter broke out around the table.
"No," Mickey giggled, "seriously, and then-- and then she... she slimed him three more times before we got her!" He sat back, laughing so hard he could hardly breathe as the rest of the table burst into laughter again. He tried to take a drink of his ale, but ended up spilling half of it down his black shirt. "Hell, Tosh's gonna have a bloody cow now."
"She talking to you again?" Jake asked with a snort of laughter, smirking when Mickey sent him a scathing look. "Good to know you're not in the doghouse anymore."
Wondering what Jake was on about, Rose darted her eyes to Mickey's, but he looked away, occupying himself with grabbing a handful of napkins and swiping them down his jumper. His eyes rose to hers for a second before dropping again. Unsure what was going on, she vowed to ask him about it later. For now, they were among friends and having a good time, so she'd leave him alone about it. "Slob," she snickered when he threw the sopping napkins onto the table.
"Oi," he complained, wagging a finger at her. "I'll have no more of that, miss vinegar-stain."
Chuckling, Rose tucked her chin on her chest and peered down her blouse at the vinegar-soaked spot over her right breast. She pouted and rubbed at it ineffectually. "Elbows," she muttered, glaring at Duane beside her.
He held his hands up innocently with a grin. "Don't look at me," he sniggered, downing more of his ale. "Not my fault you can't hold your liquor."
Annoyed, she jabbed her elbow into his side, making him dribble a bit of his drink down his chin.
Tia broke into fresh gales of laughter and tossed peanuts at Duane's forehead.
Ryan, sitting on her other side, snickered quietly and shifted closer to her. She was completely aware of it. He'd been doing it all night. Three hours of Ryan's arm accidentally brushing hers, his hand so close to hers on the table. And all the looks she caught out of the corner of her eye.
How she'd never noticed his attention until Mickey told her, she'd never know. He was completely obvious about it.
Sighing when his hand landed partially on her thigh, she stretched her neck and glanced at him, smiling a bit until he removed his hand with a blush.
It was sad how much she wasn't attracted to him. She almost wished she were. He was handsome, with his short blonde hair and the spattering of freckles on his nose. Frowning, she realized she was staring at him. When did he get freckles? Had he always had them? The Doctor had the cutest freckles on his cheeks and nose and neck.
Did he have them everywhere?
That was a question she'd have to ask when she returned to her universe. She smiled and leaned back as Duane and Mickey fought over who got the next round. Letting her head tilt to the side, she wondered what the Doctor would say if she asked him if he had freckles everywhere. Would he raise his brows and let his lips lift just the tiniest bit to let her know he heard her before babbling on about something else? Or would he turn away and occupy himself, ignoring her question completely?
She was sure he'd not answer her.
If she had her druthers though, she'd find out first hand. By actually stripping him naked and peering closely at every inch of skin he possessed. Touching too. Oh, definitely touching.
Smirking, she breathed in deeply, and licked her lips. Buzzed and halfway to being pissed, she suddenly popped her eyes open, remembering where she was. Sitting up straighter, she pushed her hair out of her face and fought off the weariness swamping her. The double jumping was beginning to take a toll on her body.
An image of the people from the plague planet came to mind as it usually did when she was feeling less than a hundred percent, but she'd never developed any symptoms. And she hadn't drunk any of the water.
So, she was safe.
They all had ten official jumps under their belts at this point. Impressive and a nice start, but she was still coming back at night to make an extra jump to make sure they weren't missing the Doctor. Though they all insisted they were calling for him on their mobiles, she had this sneaking suspicion they weren't.
Well, Mickey was, she was positive of that. He knew. He understood that she needed to get back to the Doctor. That she had to find him.
Fighting off a yawn, she gulped down the rest of her ale and leaned back again, sinking into the booth. When her eyes began to drift closed again, she felt someone kick her leg. Snapping her eyes open, she blinked blearily at Tia who was frowning at her.
How the other woman wasn't as exhausted as she was, Rose had no idea.
Nodding minutely, she pushed up and drew in a deep, clearing breath. "Think I'm going to go," she told the others.
"I just got you another," Duane complained, but hands were already taking her mug, though she didn't see whose. Didn't care either.
"Sorry," she mumbled, yawning again as she pushed on Ryan to get him to let her out of the booth. "Haven't been sleeping much."
Jake snickered and pulled her arm lightly. "Don't be tellin' Santiago, or he'll try to stop us from jumping again." Rolling his eyes, he tossed a handful of peanuts into his mouth and chewed, annoyed. "I sneezed after he okayed me from that planet with the sick people? And he wanted to put me in quarantine."
Rose's heart stopped for a moment and she lost her footing, nearly falling onto Jake's lap, but Ryan's arm circled around her waist, catching her, hauling her back onto her feet. He didn't let go for a few moments and she found that she didn't hate the feel of him touching her, which surprised her. It felt nice. Comforting.
Her attention drifted from Santiago and sharpened on Ryan.
Mickey cleared his throat loudly, glancing pointedly at the two of them, then snickered when Ryan jerked his arm free and looked away, blushing.
Grabbing her coat and purse, Rose smacked Mickey's shoulder and leaned down to kiss his cheek. "Behave," she whispered in his ear.
He merely snorted with laughter and tossed back the rest of his drink. "Where's the fun in that?"
"I need a ride," Rose said, straightening up and spinning around to stare at Ryan. "Would you--"
"Of course," he jumped in eagerly, smiling widely as he placed his hand behind her back and led her between booths and tables. Rose tossed a wave over her shoulder, ignoring the laughter of their friends. She didn't know what they were smirking about, nothing was going to happen, she was positive of that.
Even if he did smell nice.
And even if his hand felt nice against her back; warm and gentle, but firm, guiding her toward his car through the dark, foggy night. Moonlight speared through the clouds, creating shafts of light that sparkled off the dense fog, creating a diamond-like quality to the water droplets hanging in the air. It was a beautiful night. A bit cold though.
Pulling her jacket a little tighter around her, she inhaled deeply, breathing in the cool air, trying to clear her mind and un-fog her head.
Exhaling sharply, she watched her breath leave her mouth in a cloud.
There it was again. That smell.
Turning around, she stared at Ryan, frowning up into his startled eyes, trying to figure out why it was so familiar. It tickled her nose. "What is that?" she muttered, leaning toward him to sniff his shoulder. "Why do you smell like that?"
"I-- I don't--" he began, looking confused, but she quickly cut him off with a kiss.
She had no control over herself in that moment. Something about him drew her in, made her press her lips to his and immediately open her mouth, forcing him backward until he hit something solid. They both stopped moving at the same time, but she couldn't stop kissing him. Her mouth and her arms seemed to be of one mind, and that wasn't the same as her brain, which was screaming at her that this wasn't the Doctor.
Like she'd been doused with cold water, she suddenly pulled away from him, tearing her lips from his and stumbling back a few steps. Staring at Ryan, she felt nausea rise up in her. She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand and gasped out a few breaths, sucking in a new, clearer breath as she realized what she'd just done.
"I'm sorry," she whispered.
Ryan, still supporting himself on the car behind him, shook his head jerkily. "No. Don't--" pushing away from the car, he licked his lips and move forward, a small smile lighting up his face as he reached for her. "I didn't think you..."
Hating herself for what she'd just done, she shook her head and backed up again, holding her hands out to stop him. "Ryan, I didn't mean to..." closing her eyes, she sighed deeply, mentally smacking herself for making things extremely awkward between them, because she saw--briefly, before closing her eyes--the hurt in his eyes. The confusion. "I-- you smelt like... something familiar." Unable to find the words to explain it to him when she couldn't even explain it to herself, she dropped her head back on her shoulders and stared up at the night sky dotted with stars.
Out of the corner of her eye, she saw someone disappearing around the corner of the pub.
Snapping her head down, she stared in disbelief at the spot where he'd vanished. It couldn't be. Could it? Is that why she'd smelt him?
Oh, god. Realization pouring through her, she dashed after the man, hoping he hadn't seen her and Ryan. Hoping he didn't think she'd moved on, that she didn't want to travel with him anymore. That she didn't love him. Only him.
"Rose! Where're you going?" Ryan yelled after her, footsteps pounding the pavement behind her.
Her own steps slowed as she rounded the corner, and Ryan halted beside her. The street was empty but for a trio of teenagers across the way. Dark streets up and down, there was no police box, but--
There was an alley nearby. She ran to it and rounded the corner wildly, hand scraping against the stone of the pub as she went. It was empty, there was no wheezing, roaring sound of her universe righting itself. "Did you see him?" she asked Ryan as he ran up beside her.
Panting, he glanced around them. "No. What was it, what'd you see?" Reaching into his coat, he pulled out a stun gun, and Rose raised her eyebrows at him. "What? We work for Torchwood where aliens are the norm, you really think I'm stupid enough not to be ready when I come up against some of those nasties?"
Chuckling, she shook her head and looked for another place the Doctor could've gone. "He's not dangerous. Put that away."
Disappointment washed through her. There was nothing, nowhere for him to hide. An alley across the street from the one she was standing at the entrance of, but it was just as empty as this one. A zeppelin floated by, blocking out the moonlight for a few moments.
Pulling her mobile from her pocket, she dialed the TARDIS, and as she waited for it to ring, she cupped her hands over her mouth. "Doctor!"
Ryan watched her from a few feet away, frowning as she continued to shout. "Rose..."
"I saw him," she said clearly, the buzz of alcohol dissipating as she took off down the street, looking into shop windows and checking doors, banging on a few of them as she passed. The teenagers down the street were staring at her, laughing; one of them howled like a wolf. She ignored them, and Ryan, who followed closely behind, stun gun back in his pocket. "I swear, Ryan. He was right there."
"I didn't see anyone--"
"He was behind you! Of course you didn't see anything." Feeling irritated at his calm manner and skepticism, she ran down to the next block and stood in the middle of the street, peering into the darkness as it began to drizzle. "Doctor!"
Her phone didn't ring. Didn't buzz, didn't make any sound that might alert her to him being here. There was only static.
"Rose, come on. There's no one here." Ryan's hand landed on her arm and she rudely shrugged it off. He sighed and slipped his hands into his pants pockets and she wanted to yell at him not to do that, because he looked like the Doctor and he shouldn't. He shouldn't look anything like the Doctor.
His tall, lean body was too reminiscent of him. The way his blonde hair fell over his forehead was too much like the Doctor's.
And that smell.
"It was the Doctor," she said confidently, though she was beginning to doubt herself a bit. "He was here. I saw him." Shoving her mobile back into her pocket, she rubbed her head, feeling a headache coming on. She left the street, heading back the other way, keeing her eyes open, darting her gaze to every shadow, every noise, every hiding spot.
"It was guilt," Ryan called after her.
Peering into a shop window, she spun around to stare at him in disbelief. "What?"
Halting a few feet from her, he shrugged as if it were obvious. "You kissed me. Then you saw him."
"Why would that make me feel guilty?" she scoffed, feeling the uncomfortable weight of guilt settling over her again at what she'd done. He was right. She did feel guilty for kissing him, but how would he know that it wasn't just because she'd done something she regretted?
How did he know it was because she felt like she'd cheated on the Doctor, even though it was directly because of the Doctor that she'd snogged him in the first place?
Scratching his head, he glanced away for a second, then fixed his gaze on their shoes. "You're in love with him."
Stunned, she stared back at Ryan. Were her feelings for the Doctor that obvious? Obvious enough that everyone saw them? She didn't make a habit of sharing things with everyone she knew. In fact, she tried rather desperately not to let her feelings show, so how did everyone seem to know?
That didn't matter right now though, because he was right, and he knew it.
And, he was, quite possibly, one of the nicest guys she'd ever known. Even Mickey had his bitter side. But Ryan, he wasn't judging her, he was just stating facts.
His eyes, so innocent and guileless, and the only thing aside from his hair color that truly didn't look anything like the Doctor's, watched her. There was no blame there, no anger, just concern. "But I didn't see him, Rose. And you were nearly pissed."
Turning back to the pub, she headed toward the parking lot. "I know what I saw. Black leather jacket, boots, and a red jumper."
Joining her on her trek to their cars, he hummed a little in agreement, but then reached out to halt her again. "Hang on, I thought he wore brown pinstripes and Chucks."
"He does," she said impatiently, shaking her arm free. "I just said--" but, no. She hadn't said that. So then, what had she seen?
She'd just chased a phantom of her old Doctor.
Big nose, short hair, leather jacket, that... that was not what the Doctor looked like. Unless he'd regenerated again and he looked like he used to.
That wasn't possible though; he'd told her that much after the Sycorax.
Rubbing her head harder, she tried to think, to figure out what'd just happened. "Brown pinstripes," she muttered, spotting her car and moving toward it. The alcohol was nearly out of her system now, thanks to the shock of seeing/not seeing the Doctor, so she felt safe enough driving home on her own. Not to mention the awkwardness of spending the next ten minutes in a car with Ryan after the way she'd just behaved. "I wasn't thinking. Sorry, I-- haven't been sleeping well."
"Maybe you should see Santiago, get some pills or something." He tossed her a look, encouraging conversation, but she pretended not to notice. "I sleep like the dead, myself."
"I used to," she sighed, remembering better times, more innocent times. Times when the Doctor had knocked on her bedroom door, waking her from a dead sleep to tell her it was time to go because a planet's single festive holiday for the decade was being held, or a storm of epic proportions was brewing in the ocean of the seventh moon of Ion or something.
Times when she'd been happy. It felt like more than five years had passed since then. It felt like a decade or more.
"Sure you're okay to drive?" Ryan asked as they reached her car, which shone silver with mist and fat droplets of rain. He didn't push, didn't tell her he needed to drive her home.
He was really sweet.
"I'm fine," she muttered digging into her pocket for her keys. Yanking them free, she sighed and glanced at Ryan. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have kissed you." Chuckling, she added, "I'm not even sure why I did." But that was a lie. It was the scent surrounding them in the parking lot, something that reminded her of the Doctor, though it wasn't his specific smell.
Ryan grinned shamefacedly. "'Cause of my boyish good looks and irresistible charms?"
Smiling, wishing she could say that that was exactly what had happened, she lifted her brows at him. "That must be it." Unlocking her door, she turned to him again. "I'm sorry."
He shrugged his shoulders, hands buried deep in his pockets. "Don't be. It was... fun."
Laughing, she shook her head. "Daftness and all?"
Tilting his head to the side, he nodded. "Yeah."
Definitely a nice guy. Slipping behind the wheel, she shoved the key into the ignition and turned it. She pulled the seatbelt across her waist, clicking it into place, then released it and re-locked it tightly, to make sure it was secure. Turning the heat on, she watched Ryan walk away in the rearview mirror and then let her breath out in a rush.
Shivering, she braced her hands on the steering wheel, letting out the sobs of disappointment and regret that had been threatening since she'd first glimpsed what she thought was the Doctor.
Chapter 5