Fic: You've Got to Hide Your Love Away (9/17)
Title: You've Got to Hide Your Love Away (9/17)
Rating: I'm going with PG-13 but I'm not really good with ratings
Characters: Ten, Rose, Jack, Tosh, Ianto, Gwen, Owen, Pete, Jackie, Mickey, Jake, Martha, other characters
Spoilers: Anything up till the end of season three is fair game
Summary: The sequel to Mrs. Jones You've Got a Lovely Daughter and part of my Homesick In Heaven series. Rose is back, has been for awhile now, and the Doctor is none the wiser. She's making a go of it and life is good...as good as it can be without him by her side. But what happens when forces beyond her control bring the two of them back together? What happens when the Doctor finds out she's been hiding from him all these months? Will Rose reveal her deepest, darkest secrets to him before it's too late?
Author's Note: Story dedicated to Foalen on Teaspoon, with continued thanks to SnowFox3 on fanficton.net for her constant support and flawless beta'ing. Also lots of thanks and emoticon love to
sinecure for offering to do some additional beta'ing for me along with helping with plot development.
~~~
The first time she regains consciousness, it's only for the briefest of moments.
There's a dense fog encompassing her mind, obscuring the memories of the last few hours--days?--she's not sure which. With exaggerated slowness, her eyelids flutter open then shut again, so fast that she doesn't have time to register the room around her. It's too much work to try again and she lets a sigh of exhaustion escape her parted lips before succumbing to the sanctity of sleep once more.
~~~
“How is she?” Jack asks.
Closing the door behind her, Martha takes him by the hand and leads him down the hall. It's not until they are well out of earshot of her patient that she responds and, even then, she keeps her voice low. “She’s still unconscious. Vitals are good though, so she’ll come around soon enough.”
The look on his face is enough to make her heart ache in sympathy. The poor man hasn’t left this floor since they brought Rose here after the battle ended. It’s been a whole day--twenty four hours--of no change in her condition and, yet, he still continues to pace just outside her room, waiting.
“Why don’t you get some rest, Jack? I’ll keep an eye on her for you.” He starts to shake his head, but before he can protest Martha gently places a finger against his lips. “Jackie has a room all ready and I’ll ring you at the first sign of change. Promise.”
It’s a testament to just how exhausted he is when he doesn’t argue but gives her hand a thankful squeeze and heads off towards the guest quarters. Breathing a sigh of relief, Martha returns to her post to continue her vigil outside the bedroom of pink and lace.
~~~
Hours later, or maybe it's mere minutes--there's no way to tell--she's ripped from the peaceful solitude of sleep once more. With a start, she sits bolt upright in bed, causing a wave of dizziness to wash over her body, leaving her shaky and nauseous. She quickly closes her eyes against the spinning room and takes a few deep breaths in an attempt to regain some semblance of calm.
In time to the tempo of the blood flowing through her veins, her head pounds with a headache to end all headaches, making it difficult to think straight. She raises a hand to her temple and rubs it gently, trying to remember anything that may help clear the fog in her mind. All she can dredge up from her subconscious, though, are fleeting images and emotions.
She clearly remembers the Doctor, remembers their time together and the intense love she feels for him. Beyond that, however, everything is blank. She knows there’s more, so much more, but no matter how hard she tries those memories continually evade her.
Slowly and with utmost care, she lies back down, trying not to upset her still-queasy stomach. Something soft and fluffy embraces her, cradling her head in it's warmth and she realizes, with a wry smile, that someone has placed a multitude of pillows around her.
This has to be the strangest place the Doctor has ever got her imprisoned in.
The sudden sound of nearby footsteps brings her back to the cold, harsh reality of her current situation. They've been in some pretty sticky spots before, and this isn't the first time she's been left to her own devices, but never before did she have only a few fragmented memories to work with. Exactly who's holding her hostage and what they want from her--from the Doctor--is as much a mystery as how she got here in the first place.
Whoever, whatever, it is pauses just outside the door. Holding perfectly still she waits; her body tense to every noise, every movement. Even still she doesn't notice that there's more than one of them until she hears the voices. Low, whispering voices, that are just quiet enough she can't make out what they're saying. They sound vaguely human but she knows that doesn't mean a thing, as it's probably just the TARDIS translating for her.
After what feels like forever, but is probably only a few minutes, the voices begin to fade, moving slowly away from her immediate proximity. Letting out the breath she didn't even realize she'd been holding, she turns in the direction the voices came from. There's a tiny bit of light spilling out from under the door, not enough to see much by but comforting none-the-less.
Certain they've left, or as certain as she can be, she turns her attention to the room that's serving as her prison. It's still hard to see but her eyes have adjusted somewhat to the darkness that surrounds her. There are a few shadowy shapes spread out here and there that she thinks must be furniture. To her right is what appears to be a heavily curtained window . . . or possibly an escape route.
Rising slowly, so as not to make the lingering pain in her head any worse, she tries to figure out what to do next. She needs to remember where she is and what’s happened. Barring that, she, at the very least, needs to find a way to escape. Despite the obvious lack of memories she’s certain of one thing; she has to find the Doctor now.
Climbing out of bed, she figures the window is her best shot, and she's just about to test that theory when the door opens again, filling the room with white light. Senses alert, she doesn’t even give a second thought to what might be coming through the doorway, just prepares herself for a fight.
~~~
At first, he thinks he must be dreaming, but Jack rarely sleeps and never dreams. By the time he’s figured out where the commotion is coming from and sprinted the seemingly half-a-mile distance from his room to hers, things appear to have quieted down a bit. Rushing into the room he finds half the household already present, milling about in a mass of bodies, and making it impossible for him to get to Rose. He can hear her sobs however and wastes no time in shoving random people aside until finally there's a clear path to her side.
She’s sitting on the edge of the bed, head buried in her hands. Martha is on her left, talking in a low, soothing voice; whispering words of comfort. On Rose's right is Jackie, her arm around her daughter’s shoulders, with Pete standing next to her watching with a look of helplessness on his face.
Jack glances around him, noticing that not only is his team standing around, staring inappropriately at the scene unfolding before them, but so is some of the household staff. He’s not sure exactly what’s happened but this is no time for gawkers and so he quickly ushers the lot of them out of the room, closing the door behind him.
When he turns around Rose is peeking over her shoulder at him. Her face is a mess but she manages a weak smile. “Sorry, Jack. Did I wake you too?”
He shakes his head, returning the smile, and then looks to Martha, “What happened?”
Giving Rose a quick pat on the hand she stands and walks over to him. “She woke up confused.” She’s talking quietly so Rose can't hear. “She kind of freaked out thinking I was an alien.” Martha leads Jack a little farther from the bed and lowers her voice even more. “Jack, she didn't remember anything...Canary Wharf, the Wraith, none of it. She thought she was in prison, that she and the Doctor had been captured.”
He nods at this. It doesn't surprise him at all.
“She was out of control, on the Wraith ship. I had to--I had to do something to get us out of there as quickly as possible but I accidentally...” He shifts his gaze away from hers, ashamed of himself and the heat-of-the-moment mistake that he shouldn't have made. “The Retcon in this universe is a highly effective sedative, commonly used during surgery. But everyone has a different sensitivity to the compound and if you don't get the dosage just right...well, memory loss and confusion are common side effects.”
She doesn't say anything, just squeezes his arm in sympathy.
“What about…” he trails off, glancing back in Rose's direction. She seems to be doing fine now, sitting there chatting calmly with her parents.
“She doesn’t know yet.”
“Right,” he smiles reassuringly at Martha. “Get Jackie and Pete out of here and I’ll take care of it.”
~~~
She remembers everything now, or at least she thinks she does. No matter how much she tries to reassure herself that everything is fine, she can't shake the feeling that there's something she's still missing. Some small piece of her memories that has a big, gaping hole in its place.
The way the rest of them are acting isn't helping things either. It's like they know. Whatever it is she's forgotten, they know and are refusing to tell her. She can see it in their eyes; that look of sympathy, of feeling sorry for her, that she's always hated. But this? This is worse because she doesn’t even know what it is that's making them look at her that way.
When Martha asks her parents to step out for a little bit, to let her rest, it only confirms her suspicions. Why, exactly, does she need more rest when she’s already been sleeping for over a day? And why do they have to leave, but not Jack?
He’s standing by the window looking out at the stars. It’s the night after the battle ended and the world is safe once more. The problem is, she doesn’t remember what happened, what miracle occurred that the Wraith are now completely gone from this galaxy. She imagines the Doctor had something to do with it but she doesn’t want to think about him so she doesn’t ask. She’s just grateful that he did it.
Jack turns to her, his face hidden in the shadows. “Rose, there’s something I have to tell you,” his voice is carefully neutral and she wonders what he has to say that could possibly be that bad.
She nods for him to continue, and after a few seconds he does. “You know that the battle with the Wraith went well, that we won. Do you know how though?”
Sighing, she stands and joins him in the moonlight. “Does it really matter, Jack? We’re all safe and that’s what’s important. The hows and whys of it aren’t.”
“That’s the thing though, Rose, we’re not all safe.” He moves closer and his face is no longer veiled in darkness. She gasps, not just at his statement but at the haunting pain and sadness she sees in his eyes.
Racking her brain she tries to recall who she knows is safe. Her mum and Pete, they’re the most important and at least she knows for certain they're alive. Jack, Martha, the rest of team Torchwood; all accounted for. Mickey…she hasn't seen Mickey yet, has she? Her head’s spinning again making it difficult to focus.
“Rose?”
What about Jake? She can’t recall if she’s seen him yet either.
“Rose!”
Oh God, please don’t say something has happened to Mickey or Jake. She doesn’t know what she’d do without either of them. Her best mates, they are, and now they might be dead!
“Rose!” Jack shouts, shaking her.
Her eyes are focused on him but her vision is blurring as tears begin to well up in them. “Mickey? Jake?” she asks, her voice a whisper.
“They’re fine, hon,” he tells her then takes a deep breath. “Rose, I need you to listen carefully, okay?”
She just stares at him, unable to say anything at all, unable to indicate to him in any way that she’s heard him. That she understands. Everyone who’s important to her--everyone on her list--survived the war, yet he's continuing with his insistence that they aren’t all safe. It doesn’t make any sense!
“Rose,” he continues, holding her hands tightly, firmly, as though grounding her to one place.
He thinks I’m going to run, she thinks to herself in amazement. It can ‘t possibly be that bad…they’re all safe. There’s no one left to worry about, no one....
“Rose, sweetheart…it’s the Doctor.”
~~~
It's not surprising they want his mind more than his life. He understood this when he gave himself to them, knew that it was his one assurance his proposal would be accepted. But he's not prepared for how quickly they want to cash in on their investment.
They have barely left Earth's orbit when the guards show up at his cell. He's willing-cooperative--and yet, still, they drag him roughly through the door and down the hall. But it doesn't hurt, not nearly as bad as what comes next.
The higher class Wraith, it seems, aren't as limited in their telepathic abilities as most. The instant he steps inside the control room, his mind is invaded. It's brutal and violent and now, more then ever, the act reminds him of rape.
They don't find what they want though. No, despite the fact that his defenses are laid bare, they learn nothing of the universe. No grand, cosmic knowledge. No secret coordinates to powerful weapons. No details on how to bridge the gap between this world and the next.
They do, however, learn everything they could possibly want to know about what is first and foremost in his thoughts...
Rose.
Everything, from the first time he met her to the last time he saw her flows freely from his mind to theirs. Her hair, her eyes, her smile. The way she smells and the way she walks. How her laughter sounds to his ears and how she snores ever so softly when asleep. Every single thing he has ever cataloged as Rose, becomes part of their shared consciousness. They now know her as intimately as he does.
But beyond that, beyond the little bits and pieces that make up Rose Tyler, they learn of this: his intense, eternal love for her.
~~~
Rose, he's gone.
She tries to block the words, tries to hide from them before they can become a part of her reality. Jack can't mean it, can't possibly believe that something happened to the Doctor. She won't let him!
He's here, somewhere, she's sure of it. Lurking around, avoiding the domestics. Probably hiding away in the TARDIS 'til it's time to leave, time to run off on another adventure. But he is not, under any circumstances, gone.
If she could just find him. If she could just escape from Jack's overpowering gaze and get out of this room...
She isn't even aware of what she's doing before it's too late. It's not like she's ever done this before, not like she even knew she could. With one thought, sent out like a wish, she finds him. The Doctor. And he's alive, she's certain of that now. She can feel his chest rise and fall with each breath, hear his double heartbeat in her ears. He's alive!
And then, suddenly, she's inundated his thoughts and feelings. She's drowning in a sea of emotions and she doesn't know how to fight the onslaught, doesn't know how to get away. Wave after wave of both love and pain slam into her body; never ceasing, never ending. It's pulling her down under the surface and there's no escape.
In the back of her mind, she understands what's happening to her. She knows that all she has to do is pull back, untangle her thoughts from his, but she can't, she's not strong enough. She's losing her grip, just like she did so long ago at Canary Wharf...
Only this time, it's not her universe she's about to lose, but her mind.
Chapter Ten...
Rating: I'm going with PG-13 but I'm not really good with ratings
Characters: Ten, Rose, Jack, Tosh, Ianto, Gwen, Owen, Pete, Jackie, Mickey, Jake, Martha, other characters
Spoilers: Anything up till the end of season three is fair game
Summary: The sequel to Mrs. Jones You've Got a Lovely Daughter and part of my Homesick In Heaven series. Rose is back, has been for awhile now, and the Doctor is none the wiser. She's making a go of it and life is good...as good as it can be without him by her side. But what happens when forces beyond her control bring the two of them back together? What happens when the Doctor finds out she's been hiding from him all these months? Will Rose reveal her deepest, darkest secrets to him before it's too late?
Author's Note: Story dedicated to Foalen on Teaspoon, with continued thanks to SnowFox3 on fanficton.net for her constant support and flawless beta'ing. Also lots of thanks and emoticon love to
sinecure for offering to do some additional beta'ing for me along with helping with plot development.
~~~
The first time she regains consciousness, it's only for the briefest of moments.
There's a dense fog encompassing her mind, obscuring the memories of the last few hours--days?--she's not sure which. With exaggerated slowness, her eyelids flutter open then shut again, so fast that she doesn't have time to register the room around her. It's too much work to try again and she lets a sigh of exhaustion escape her parted lips before succumbing to the sanctity of sleep once more.
~~~
“How is she?” Jack asks.
Closing the door behind her, Martha takes him by the hand and leads him down the hall. It's not until they are well out of earshot of her patient that she responds and, even then, she keeps her voice low. “She’s still unconscious. Vitals are good though, so she’ll come around soon enough.”
The look on his face is enough to make her heart ache in sympathy. The poor man hasn’t left this floor since they brought Rose here after the battle ended. It’s been a whole day--twenty four hours--of no change in her condition and, yet, he still continues to pace just outside her room, waiting.
“Why don’t you get some rest, Jack? I’ll keep an eye on her for you.” He starts to shake his head, but before he can protest Martha gently places a finger against his lips. “Jackie has a room all ready and I’ll ring you at the first sign of change. Promise.”
It’s a testament to just how exhausted he is when he doesn’t argue but gives her hand a thankful squeeze and heads off towards the guest quarters. Breathing a sigh of relief, Martha returns to her post to continue her vigil outside the bedroom of pink and lace.
~~~
Hours later, or maybe it's mere minutes--there's no way to tell--she's ripped from the peaceful solitude of sleep once more. With a start, she sits bolt upright in bed, causing a wave of dizziness to wash over her body, leaving her shaky and nauseous. She quickly closes her eyes against the spinning room and takes a few deep breaths in an attempt to regain some semblance of calm.
In time to the tempo of the blood flowing through her veins, her head pounds with a headache to end all headaches, making it difficult to think straight. She raises a hand to her temple and rubs it gently, trying to remember anything that may help clear the fog in her mind. All she can dredge up from her subconscious, though, are fleeting images and emotions.
She clearly remembers the Doctor, remembers their time together and the intense love she feels for him. Beyond that, however, everything is blank. She knows there’s more, so much more, but no matter how hard she tries those memories continually evade her.
Slowly and with utmost care, she lies back down, trying not to upset her still-queasy stomach. Something soft and fluffy embraces her, cradling her head in it's warmth and she realizes, with a wry smile, that someone has placed a multitude of pillows around her.
This has to be the strangest place the Doctor has ever got her imprisoned in.
The sudden sound of nearby footsteps brings her back to the cold, harsh reality of her current situation. They've been in some pretty sticky spots before, and this isn't the first time she's been left to her own devices, but never before did she have only a few fragmented memories to work with. Exactly who's holding her hostage and what they want from her--from the Doctor--is as much a mystery as how she got here in the first place.
Whoever, whatever, it is pauses just outside the door. Holding perfectly still she waits; her body tense to every noise, every movement. Even still she doesn't notice that there's more than one of them until she hears the voices. Low, whispering voices, that are just quiet enough she can't make out what they're saying. They sound vaguely human but she knows that doesn't mean a thing, as it's probably just the TARDIS translating for her.
After what feels like forever, but is probably only a few minutes, the voices begin to fade, moving slowly away from her immediate proximity. Letting out the breath she didn't even realize she'd been holding, she turns in the direction the voices came from. There's a tiny bit of light spilling out from under the door, not enough to see much by but comforting none-the-less.
Certain they've left, or as certain as she can be, she turns her attention to the room that's serving as her prison. It's still hard to see but her eyes have adjusted somewhat to the darkness that surrounds her. There are a few shadowy shapes spread out here and there that she thinks must be furniture. To her right is what appears to be a heavily curtained window . . . or possibly an escape route.
Rising slowly, so as not to make the lingering pain in her head any worse, she tries to figure out what to do next. She needs to remember where she is and what’s happened. Barring that, she, at the very least, needs to find a way to escape. Despite the obvious lack of memories she’s certain of one thing; she has to find the Doctor now.
Climbing out of bed, she figures the window is her best shot, and she's just about to test that theory when the door opens again, filling the room with white light. Senses alert, she doesn’t even give a second thought to what might be coming through the doorway, just prepares herself for a fight.
~~~
At first, he thinks he must be dreaming, but Jack rarely sleeps and never dreams. By the time he’s figured out where the commotion is coming from and sprinted the seemingly half-a-mile distance from his room to hers, things appear to have quieted down a bit. Rushing into the room he finds half the household already present, milling about in a mass of bodies, and making it impossible for him to get to Rose. He can hear her sobs however and wastes no time in shoving random people aside until finally there's a clear path to her side.
She’s sitting on the edge of the bed, head buried in her hands. Martha is on her left, talking in a low, soothing voice; whispering words of comfort. On Rose's right is Jackie, her arm around her daughter’s shoulders, with Pete standing next to her watching with a look of helplessness on his face.
Jack glances around him, noticing that not only is his team standing around, staring inappropriately at the scene unfolding before them, but so is some of the household staff. He’s not sure exactly what’s happened but this is no time for gawkers and so he quickly ushers the lot of them out of the room, closing the door behind him.
When he turns around Rose is peeking over her shoulder at him. Her face is a mess but she manages a weak smile. “Sorry, Jack. Did I wake you too?”
He shakes his head, returning the smile, and then looks to Martha, “What happened?”
Giving Rose a quick pat on the hand she stands and walks over to him. “She woke up confused.” She’s talking quietly so Rose can't hear. “She kind of freaked out thinking I was an alien.” Martha leads Jack a little farther from the bed and lowers her voice even more. “Jack, she didn't remember anything...Canary Wharf, the Wraith, none of it. She thought she was in prison, that she and the Doctor had been captured.”
He nods at this. It doesn't surprise him at all.
“She was out of control, on the Wraith ship. I had to--I had to do something to get us out of there as quickly as possible but I accidentally...” He shifts his gaze away from hers, ashamed of himself and the heat-of-the-moment mistake that he shouldn't have made. “The Retcon in this universe is a highly effective sedative, commonly used during surgery. But everyone has a different sensitivity to the compound and if you don't get the dosage just right...well, memory loss and confusion are common side effects.”
She doesn't say anything, just squeezes his arm in sympathy.
“What about…” he trails off, glancing back in Rose's direction. She seems to be doing fine now, sitting there chatting calmly with her parents.
“She doesn’t know yet.”
“Right,” he smiles reassuringly at Martha. “Get Jackie and Pete out of here and I’ll take care of it.”
~~~
She remembers everything now, or at least she thinks she does. No matter how much she tries to reassure herself that everything is fine, she can't shake the feeling that there's something she's still missing. Some small piece of her memories that has a big, gaping hole in its place.
The way the rest of them are acting isn't helping things either. It's like they know. Whatever it is she's forgotten, they know and are refusing to tell her. She can see it in their eyes; that look of sympathy, of feeling sorry for her, that she's always hated. But this? This is worse because she doesn’t even know what it is that's making them look at her that way.
When Martha asks her parents to step out for a little bit, to let her rest, it only confirms her suspicions. Why, exactly, does she need more rest when she’s already been sleeping for over a day? And why do they have to leave, but not Jack?
He’s standing by the window looking out at the stars. It’s the night after the battle ended and the world is safe once more. The problem is, she doesn’t remember what happened, what miracle occurred that the Wraith are now completely gone from this galaxy. She imagines the Doctor had something to do with it but she doesn’t want to think about him so she doesn’t ask. She’s just grateful that he did it.
Jack turns to her, his face hidden in the shadows. “Rose, there’s something I have to tell you,” his voice is carefully neutral and she wonders what he has to say that could possibly be that bad.
She nods for him to continue, and after a few seconds he does. “You know that the battle with the Wraith went well, that we won. Do you know how though?”
Sighing, she stands and joins him in the moonlight. “Does it really matter, Jack? We’re all safe and that’s what’s important. The hows and whys of it aren’t.”
“That’s the thing though, Rose, we’re not all safe.” He moves closer and his face is no longer veiled in darkness. She gasps, not just at his statement but at the haunting pain and sadness she sees in his eyes.
Racking her brain she tries to recall who she knows is safe. Her mum and Pete, they’re the most important and at least she knows for certain they're alive. Jack, Martha, the rest of team Torchwood; all accounted for. Mickey…she hasn't seen Mickey yet, has she? Her head’s spinning again making it difficult to focus.
“Rose?”
What about Jake? She can’t recall if she’s seen him yet either.
“Rose!”
Oh God, please don’t say something has happened to Mickey or Jake. She doesn’t know what she’d do without either of them. Her best mates, they are, and now they might be dead!
“Rose!” Jack shouts, shaking her.
Her eyes are focused on him but her vision is blurring as tears begin to well up in them. “Mickey? Jake?” she asks, her voice a whisper.
“They’re fine, hon,” he tells her then takes a deep breath. “Rose, I need you to listen carefully, okay?”
She just stares at him, unable to say anything at all, unable to indicate to him in any way that she’s heard him. That she understands. Everyone who’s important to her--everyone on her list--survived the war, yet he's continuing with his insistence that they aren’t all safe. It doesn’t make any sense!
“Rose,” he continues, holding her hands tightly, firmly, as though grounding her to one place.
He thinks I’m going to run, she thinks to herself in amazement. It can ‘t possibly be that bad…they’re all safe. There’s no one left to worry about, no one....
“Rose, sweetheart…it’s the Doctor.”
~~~
It's not surprising they want his mind more than his life. He understood this when he gave himself to them, knew that it was his one assurance his proposal would be accepted. But he's not prepared for how quickly they want to cash in on their investment.
They have barely left Earth's orbit when the guards show up at his cell. He's willing-cooperative--and yet, still, they drag him roughly through the door and down the hall. But it doesn't hurt, not nearly as bad as what comes next.
The higher class Wraith, it seems, aren't as limited in their telepathic abilities as most. The instant he steps inside the control room, his mind is invaded. It's brutal and violent and now, more then ever, the act reminds him of rape.
They don't find what they want though. No, despite the fact that his defenses are laid bare, they learn nothing of the universe. No grand, cosmic knowledge. No secret coordinates to powerful weapons. No details on how to bridge the gap between this world and the next.
They do, however, learn everything they could possibly want to know about what is first and foremost in his thoughts...
Rose.
Everything, from the first time he met her to the last time he saw her flows freely from his mind to theirs. Her hair, her eyes, her smile. The way she smells and the way she walks. How her laughter sounds to his ears and how she snores ever so softly when asleep. Every single thing he has ever cataloged as Rose, becomes part of their shared consciousness. They now know her as intimately as he does.
But beyond that, beyond the little bits and pieces that make up Rose Tyler, they learn of this: his intense, eternal love for her.
~~~
Rose, he's gone.
She tries to block the words, tries to hide from them before they can become a part of her reality. Jack can't mean it, can't possibly believe that something happened to the Doctor. She won't let him!
He's here, somewhere, she's sure of it. Lurking around, avoiding the domestics. Probably hiding away in the TARDIS 'til it's time to leave, time to run off on another adventure. But he is not, under any circumstances, gone.
If she could just find him. If she could just escape from Jack's overpowering gaze and get out of this room...
She isn't even aware of what she's doing before it's too late. It's not like she's ever done this before, not like she even knew she could. With one thought, sent out like a wish, she finds him. The Doctor. And he's alive, she's certain of that now. She can feel his chest rise and fall with each breath, hear his double heartbeat in her ears. He's alive!
And then, suddenly, she's inundated his thoughts and feelings. She's drowning in a sea of emotions and she doesn't know how to fight the onslaught, doesn't know how to get away. Wave after wave of both love and pain slam into her body; never ceasing, never ending. It's pulling her down under the surface and there's no escape.
In the back of her mind, she understands what's happening to her. She knows that all she has to do is pull back, untangle her thoughts from his, but she can't, she's not strong enough. She's losing her grip, just like she did so long ago at Canary Wharf...
Only this time, it's not her universe she's about to lose, but her mind.
Chapter Ten...