This is not exactly how I'd LIKE to return from a hiatus, but heavens forbid I
forget Sparklerita Night! The History of Twilight the Fourth, Part One is: 20% NOT ENOUGH SHIRTLESS WEREWOLVES; 20% TOO MUCH SHIRTLESS PASTY VAMPIRE ABS; 20% AUGH GOOD GOD WHY DOES BELLA LOOK LIKE A PERUVIAN MUMMY; 10% OM NOM NOM PILLOWS OM NOM NOM; 10% he fell in love with WHAT?!; 5% naming your child "Renesmee"
may cause abdominal pain, spinal cord fractures, seizures, premature labor, and even death; 4% incomprehensible werewolf growling; 1% Bella's wedding dress was pretty fugly, what gives? and ONE MILLION PERCENT I NEEDED MORE ALCOHOL FOR THIS.