I am still unsure about the concept of the Slutwalk. I support women wanting to organize and empower themselves, but I doubt the Slutwalk has any effect on what men's opinions are of what women are wearing and how they choose to treat them due to what they are wearing. I feel like more men witnessing the Slutwalk will be thinking "hey, chicks in revealing clothes" more than "hey, I should treat women like people."
I have a concept for a feminist T-shirt that Greg and I both think is pretty cool. A similar concept for race-relations, sexual orientation, and gender identity shirts would also be cool, except I am not the person to write them. Would you be interested in going into the writing-T-shirt-slogans business with me? So far, my business model is 1. write cool T-shirt slogans 2. ?? 3. profit.
couple things that I've come to realize lately--jessica valenti, jaclyn friedman and other white straight feminists who consider themselves high and mighty in the current literature, (friedman spoke at the Boston slutwalk for example) just don't acknowledge their privilege as much as I would like. well maybe they acknowledge it but i don't think that's enough! they should be making extra special efforts to create safe spaces--like your person walk idea.
If you want to read the purity myth i have a copy.
if this is what you're getting you're creative special hat for, you deserve it. you just made my head spin into an idea of something i want to write that's been on my mind.
Well, I guess my opinion might be biased, since I fit your baseline to a T and am married, was a virgin on my wedding day (so was he) and didn't even kiss until the wedding (his idea, not mine-- I'll admit that it got a little old
( ... )
Obviously, you and I differ on a lot of points on this topic, due to any number of reasons. And while I don't necessary agree with the viewpoint of no sex before marriage, I do commend your husband for holding himself to that same standard he held you.
I think the one thing I would say here is that a lot of the opinions you hold of men also stem from the purity myth; the idea that men are inherently sexual creatures who can't help but think with that other head when they see half-dressed women is yet another side effect of that myth. It absolves men of a lot of blame, but at the same time, it also debases them. Men are just as capable of thinking with their proper brain as women and in the same circumstances. If they don't, it's because they have been conditioned to believe they cant'/don't have to.
It is also from this mindset that I think you get your idea nd some of the fault lies in women. Some women dress that way on purpose, to advertise their availability. While that should not mean that all women who dress that way are
( ... )
"It is also from this mindset that I think you get your idea nd some of the fault lies in women. Some women dress that way on purpose, to advertise their availability. While that should not mean that all women who dress that way are asking for sex or harrasment/abuse, it does give a bit of a mixed message. I cannot, in good conscience, agree with or accept this idea. The idea that a man cannot 'help himself' is wrong, wrong, wrong. Sure, there are times when a woman dresses in a certain fashion to attract attention. But that attention never comes with a RIGHT to harass her, to expect sexual favors from her, to demand, or to threaten. It is when someone views that manner of dress as giving them a right to expect those things that we see the problems arise. Again the belief that women are either pure or sexually available creates that expectation
( ... )
1. Also, saying "some of the fault lies in women" does NOT mean the woman who was attacked, but rather the stupid women who purposefully dress for sexual attention. Sort of a "they wrecked it for the rest of us" sort of thing.
The miniscule fraction of women who are legitimately advertising their bodies for sex are not to blame for the sexual predation of themselves and other women who are "dressing for attention". The point is that it should not matter how you are dressed. These women did not "wreck it for the rest of you". The problem lies not with women or how they are dressed or how other women have dressed on a street corner in the past, but rather the skewed expectations of society. Your dress, your promiscuity, your state of inebriation, these do not constitute consent. Only consent = consent.
I give you.. an analogyNow, perhaps you're simply talking about risky behavior. If I walk down Rape Alley, I should expect to be raped. Same as if I walked down Murder Alley with a $100 hanging
( ... )
The purity myth stems from the basic male animal fear that the child born from a female he has had sex with is not his own. I can't believe this is a white privilege issue, as other cultures are much more harsh when it comes to enforcing female purity.
Though, I will agree to the fact that in the WASPy worldview every non-WASP person belongs to a group of godless fornicators.
This post is for America only. I can't talk about other societies and whatnot, though I agree with your statement about how harshly it's punished there. But there, too, I'd think that it would hold true for the majority, regardless of the actual color of their skin.
You make a great and interesting point about how virginity doesn't "add" to someone's value; it's taken as a design feature of the standard package. Or something. Despite how much more effort it takes, in our current society, to remain sexually inexperienced. No credit is given for it, though. Your value may even be decreased in some ways in other arenas, if you remain 'untouched', since the assumptions pile on about why (tied into that whole thing of "marriage is destiny", therefore, who are you saving it for if not some guy?). The only people who seem to get any kind of credit for this any more are nuns of whatever order they belong to; but even that gets questioned by those outside whatever religion the woman might belong to. How dare she marry God, when there's a physical man going wanting out here? Can't she wait to be virginal when she's dead? If God had intended her to be a virgin, men wouldn't want to have sex! And so on
( ... )
Unfortunately, even some virgins have to resort to deceit.
There's always a risk that their hymen was perforated during some physical activity that had nothing to do with sexual play or intercourse. In some cultures bloody sheets on a wedding night are not optional unless you're a widow.
Comments 23
I have a concept for a feminist T-shirt that Greg and I both think is pretty cool. A similar concept for race-relations, sexual orientation, and gender identity shirts would also be cool, except I am not the person to write them. Would you be interested in going into the writing-T-shirt-slogans business with me? So far, my business model is 1. write cool T-shirt slogans 2. ?? 3. profit.
Reply
couple things that I've come to realize lately--jessica valenti, jaclyn friedman and other white straight feminists who consider themselves high and mighty in the current literature, (friedman spoke at the Boston slutwalk for example) just don't acknowledge their privilege as much as I would like. well maybe they acknowledge it but i don't think that's enough! they should be making extra special efforts to create safe spaces--like your person walk idea.
If you want to read the purity myth i have a copy.
if this is what you're getting you're creative special hat for, you deserve it. you just made my head spin into an idea of something i want to write that's been on my mind.
Reply
Also, did you intend to screen your comment? I'm leaving it screened for now, but I wouldn't mind unscreening it you didn't mind.
But thank you very much for your praise. This is half of the reason I'd like my special awesome hat today.
Reply
Reply
I think the one thing I would say here is that a lot of the opinions you hold of men also stem from the purity myth; the idea that men are inherently sexual creatures who can't help but think with that other head when they see half-dressed women is yet another side effect of that myth. It absolves men of a lot of blame, but at the same time, it also debases them. Men are just as capable of thinking with their proper brain as women and in the same circumstances. If they don't, it's because they have been conditioned to believe they cant'/don't have to.
It is also from this mindset that I think you get your idea nd some of the fault lies in women. Some women dress that way on purpose, to advertise their availability. While that should not mean that all women who dress that way are ( ... )
Reply
Reply
1. Also, saying "some of the fault lies in women" does NOT mean the woman who was attacked, but rather the stupid women who purposefully dress for sexual attention. Sort of a "they wrecked it for the rest of us" sort of thing.
The miniscule fraction of women who are legitimately advertising their bodies for sex are not to blame for the sexual predation of themselves and other women who are "dressing for attention". The point is that it should not matter how you are dressed. These women did not "wreck it for the rest of you". The problem lies not with women or how they are dressed or how other women have dressed on a street corner in the past, but rather the skewed expectations of society. Your dress, your promiscuity, your state of inebriation, these do not constitute consent. Only consent = consent.
I give you.. an analogyNow, perhaps you're simply talking about risky behavior. If I walk down Rape Alley, I should expect to be raped. Same as if I walked down Murder Alley with a $100 hanging ( ... )
Reply
Though, I will agree to the fact that in the WASPy worldview every non-WASP person belongs to a group of godless fornicators.
Reply
Reply
Reply
There's always a risk that their hymen was perforated during some physical activity that had nothing to do with sexual play or intercourse. In some cultures bloody sheets on a wedding night are not optional unless you're a widow.
Reply
Leave a comment