The last of my gathered thoughts on last week

[shadesong]

* To highlight a good discussion in the comments: The hosts banned previous people after a pattern of years of sexual harassment and assault, and stated that my known rapist seemed like a danger only to me, despite his years of escalation; they banned him only after an unknown number of people complained about his presence. They banned me for

Comments

[yendi]

There's a depressing variant of a Geek Social Fallacy in which people in this community (and many others) are MUCH more willing to ostracize someone for "making trouble" - defined here as "things that could disrupt our parties" - than they are for raping someone within the community (as long as they don't disrupt a party when doing so).

[nomadmwe]

Usually this is done under the header of "drama."

Remember everyone, ensuring that a community is aware of a rapist in their midst is "bringing drama" and is undesirable.

[shadesong]

That is, of course, exactly what it's being called.

[nomadmwe]

I am deeply annoyed that my rolleyes wiseass comment was that accurate.

[pisicutsa]

I would be very interested to attend this gathering and learn new things. I hope that soon your life will once again revolve around the lovely stories you weave. *hugs from the front*

[shadesong]

I think you would be a super awesome contributor to the gathering! *hugs*

[ron_newman]

- They banned me for saying, one time, in a text to someone else, that police presence would be a consequence of Judah breaking the restraining order I have against him.

I don't think you should be banned, and I hope they'll realize their error and welcome you back (especially as they've now already banned your abuser)

That said, the text you sent (if quoted accurately) was shorter than what you said here, was less clear, and was easily misinterpreted (by the hosts and others?) as a statement that you were planning to arrive accompanied by the police. You recognize here that it was part of a panic response, but I don't think the hosts understand that.

[shadesong]

Well, I have said multiple times in multiple posts, including Scott's, that it was a panic response. I think they understand that but are choosing to ignore it because it doesn't fit the narrative they want to build.

[cbpotts]

It's funny (in that Ha Ha NOT FUNNY AT ALL) sort of way how people vocally 'admire & support' survivors of sexual assault as long as said survivors don't say or do anything that makes anyone else the least bit uncomfortable, require any meaningful change, or examines existing social structures

[shadesong]

It does, yes.

Good luck with your appointment

[drwex]

I read this post as you wanting to move on to other things, so not replying here. Didn't want to come across as ignoring. I will post things in my own LJ where you are welcome to participate as you feel you have time & energy.

Re: Good luck with your appointment

[shadesong]

Thank you.