And an update on Judah.
I've been quiet about things with Judah for a reason: I didn't want to tip him off. But I have confirmation from my lawyer that he's been served, so now let's talk.
I've filed civil claims against Judah for three counts of assault (one assault & battery) (in Massachusetts, rape and sexual assault are not their own claims; they get filed under the generic "assault"), plus emotional distress, plus breach of contract for the rent and household expenses, plus "trespass to chattel" (breaking the cat's leg).
We are seeking a jury trial.
I originally thought he was getting served right at the same time I was reading "The Final Girl" at Arisia! But silly blue laws apparently keep people from getting served on Sundays, which was the only day we knew he'd be at the Artisans' Asylum; we had no other address for him. He's been couchsurfing on his rapidly-disappearing charm as far as I know. So it took a while to actually catch him, but we did, on March 31st.
So let's talk a little about how all this works, because data is good. I mean, I hope none of y'all ever need this data for yourselves. But. Here. If you're not interested, just scroll.
I knew I'd be filing civil claims pretty much as soon as things happened. I knew I wouldn't be able to get the rent and utilities money out of him without some kind of lawsuit! And I knew from my work with BARCC and from, y'know, the interwebs that civil case are an additional way of seeking justice and redress after rape.
Why a civil case? Jaclyn Friedman has a great post here. Many of those reasons are my reasons as well. I encourage you to read that, then come back here.
The wheels of justice turn very slowly, for civil cases as well as for criminal cases. While I was meeting with the DA, I was also meeting with my lawyer and working out a plan of action. There are a number of steps that are gone through before filing claims.
First, my lawyer notified him that I had plans to file (though not, in detail, what the counts were; some of these counts were things that we're pretty sure he didn't know he could be charged with). He was give the opportunity to settle - pay the money he already owed us, plus some for pain and suffering, and complete an anger management class and a state-certified batterer's intervention program. If he did that, we'd settle out of court.
That last part's important, and it was one of my big motivations for starting the civil proceedings in the first place. I want my damn money back. I want compensation for the work I missed due to his abuse.
But more than anything else, I do not want Judah to rape or assault anyone else.
I'm aware that I cannot actually prevent that. That, if he does it again, it is not my fault. But I resolved to do everything I could to prevent it. A batterer's intervention program and anger management training might help. It's certainly worth the attempt.
Naturally, he wasn't interested in that.
So, volley of letters and calls between lawyers. Judah was willing to pay the rent - that's one thing he'd never be able to fight in court, due to the verbiage of our lease. But nothing else. I would not accept a rent-only settlement; I insisted on treatment for him. And his lawyer mysteriously stopped responding. We gave a bit of a grace period, then filed the case this January.
Our offer for settlement has increased exponentially. Literally. We are seeking a jury trial.
Apparently he has a new lawyer, who's begged for a few weeks to get up to speed on everything, which we've granted. My lawyer has made it clear that our pre-filing settlement offer has grown stale; since we were forced to file and therefore incur more expenses and stress, things have changed.
So that's where we are now.
I am willing to answer any questions that I'm able to answer at this point. Not being able would mean legally, not emotionally.
...told you I've had a lot going on.
I've filed civil claims against Judah for three counts of assault (one assault & battery) (in Massachusetts, rape and sexual assault are not their own claims; they get filed under the generic "assault"), plus emotional distress, plus breach of contract for the rent and household expenses, plus "trespass to chattel" (breaking the cat's leg).
We are seeking a jury trial.
I originally thought he was getting served right at the same time I was reading "The Final Girl" at Arisia! But silly blue laws apparently keep people from getting served on Sundays, which was the only day we knew he'd be at the Artisans' Asylum; we had no other address for him. He's been couchsurfing on his rapidly-disappearing charm as far as I know. So it took a while to actually catch him, but we did, on March 31st.
So let's talk a little about how all this works, because data is good. I mean, I hope none of y'all ever need this data for yourselves. But. Here. If you're not interested, just scroll.
I knew I'd be filing civil claims pretty much as soon as things happened. I knew I wouldn't be able to get the rent and utilities money out of him without some kind of lawsuit! And I knew from my work with BARCC and from, y'know, the interwebs that civil case are an additional way of seeking justice and redress after rape.
Why a civil case? Jaclyn Friedman has a great post here. Many of those reasons are my reasons as well. I encourage you to read that, then come back here.
The wheels of justice turn very slowly, for civil cases as well as for criminal cases. While I was meeting with the DA, I was also meeting with my lawyer and working out a plan of action. There are a number of steps that are gone through before filing claims.
First, my lawyer notified him that I had plans to file (though not, in detail, what the counts were; some of these counts were things that we're pretty sure he didn't know he could be charged with). He was give the opportunity to settle - pay the money he already owed us, plus some for pain and suffering, and complete an anger management class and a state-certified batterer's intervention program. If he did that, we'd settle out of court.
That last part's important, and it was one of my big motivations for starting the civil proceedings in the first place. I want my damn money back. I want compensation for the work I missed due to his abuse.
But more than anything else, I do not want Judah to rape or assault anyone else.
I'm aware that I cannot actually prevent that. That, if he does it again, it is not my fault. But I resolved to do everything I could to prevent it. A batterer's intervention program and anger management training might help. It's certainly worth the attempt.
Naturally, he wasn't interested in that.
So, volley of letters and calls between lawyers. Judah was willing to pay the rent - that's one thing he'd never be able to fight in court, due to the verbiage of our lease. But nothing else. I would not accept a rent-only settlement; I insisted on treatment for him. And his lawyer mysteriously stopped responding. We gave a bit of a grace period, then filed the case this January.
Our offer for settlement has increased exponentially. Literally. We are seeking a jury trial.
Apparently he has a new lawyer, who's begged for a few weeks to get up to speed on everything, which we've granted. My lawyer has made it clear that our pre-filing settlement offer has grown stale; since we were forced to file and therefore incur more expenses and stress, things have changed.
So that's where we are now.
I am willing to answer any questions that I'm able to answer at this point. Not being able would mean legally, not emotionally.
...told you I've had a lot going on.