- He picked up almost all of his stuff on Thursday
Did he leave anything behind that you want to get rid of? I assume that if he didn't take it on Thursday, you can consider it legally abandoned and that you can destroy, sell, or give it away as you see fit.
All of this. One other thing that helped for me was to name the inner voice that is pushing for self-destruction (I called it Evil Me, because these are not circumstances that inspire creativity) so that when that voice starts in on the same old path again, I can use one of those other voices to say "That's not you. That's Evil Me. Evil Me does not have your best interests in mind. You do not have to listen. You can distract yourself from Evil Me the way you would distract yourself from any other bully."
Admittedly, explaining this to a therapist was a little complicated, but conceptualizing it this way helped me to feel a little more like I was fighting with something external, even though it isn't external at all.
Do you have any advice for someone who, over many years, has developed an inner dialogue that only serves to self-injure?
What sqwook is saying. What I want to further say is that people now teach this, specifically. This is what Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, and even more, Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (which I think of as CBT: The Next Generation -- it includes CBT and adds other things, too), basically are. Many of the techniques that sqwook is talking about are things which DBT also teaches.
So, in order to do what sqwook is suggesting, find a therapist who works with DBT, and he or she might be able to help coach you through learning it.
The comment thread above is good, and I want to second the recommendation for CBT/DBT (though I've only used the former). I've had good luck with the Center for Anxiety & Related Disorders through BU, in Kenmore square (obviously this info is only useful to locals, but I always feel that more info is better).
I'd say my best overall advice is that some weeks are harder than others, and the hard weeks do not mean that everything is ruined forever, or a permanent backslide is happening. I had to remember that it was okay to be okay again, and that I would & could be okay again.
Something I picked up in Clutterers Anonymous: "Don't should on yourself."
On changing your thought-habits: I think it's most difficult if the way you are seems to fit. If you're trans-mindstate, you can make noticeable changes.
Comments 14
Did he leave anything behind that you want to get rid of? I assume that if he didn't take it on Thursday, you can consider it legally abandoned and that you can destroy, sell, or give it away as you see fit.
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Admittedly, explaining this to a therapist was a little complicated, but conceptualizing it this way helped me to feel a little more like I was fighting with something external, even though it isn't external at all.
Reply
Reply
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What sqwook is saying. What I want to further say is that people now teach this, specifically. This is what Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, and even more, Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (which I think of as CBT: The Next Generation -- it includes CBT and adds other things, too), basically are. Many of the techniques that sqwook is talking about are things which DBT also teaches.
So, in order to do what sqwook is suggesting, find a therapist who works with DBT, and he or she might be able to help coach you through learning it.
Reply
I'd say my best overall advice is that some weeks are harder than others, and the hard weeks do not mean that everything is ruined forever, or a permanent backslide is happening. I had to remember that it was okay to be okay again, and that I would & could be okay again.
Reply
Reply
On changing your thought-habits: I think it's most difficult if the way you are seems to fit. If you're trans-mindstate, you can make noticeable changes.
Reply
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