The thief returns

[shabenanizer]

I've been on edge, like I'm on a razor of shredded psyche. It's March and the annual return of thief is upon me. It felt worse this time, but maybe because I've been doing pretty good for awhile so the hit of sadness, depression, and anxiety feels worseL than usual. Last week when I talked to Mom and she screamed at me, I felt nothing. When she

Comments

[anonymous]

Yes, I do believe you've nailed it, enilina. I also lost the ability to cry-it's a terrible feeling. I knew if I could cry I would feel better, but the tears refused to come. My CB "mother" was far more direct than yours: I heard her screaming at me for years, "You're either WITH me or AGAINST me!" Anytime I did not "agree" with her there was an explosion of charges leveled at me, at my very personhood.
I'm very pleased you've called your T. None of us gets through this alone yet it really is a very lonely experience. FWIW, I do follow your Posts and I do hear you. You've had some extremely challenging situations and personal revelations over the last few months. There's a ton of stuff, a ton on weight on your shoulders.
I hear you...
TW

[shabenanizer]

Thank TW, you comments are always insightful and helpful. On Monday I laid down on my sofa and finally cried, releasing the last of the knot. Saw my therapist and she reiterate that I had a lot to deal with and still dealing with, that was good to hear because I often think that once I knew NPD and have LC with my parents, that my life would be a bed of rose. Of course not. I'm feeling better and I look forward when I see CeCee again.

[anonymous]

I too am happy you have a therapist you can turn to, and I cheered when you described confronting your mother so effectively, for your sake. You are allowed to be on your own side. --quartz

[shabenanizer]

Thanks quartz. These people will never get better, but we can.