Fic: Rites of Spring (1/2)

[sgasesa_admin]

Title: Rites of Spring (1/2)
Author: lanna_kitty
Pairing: John/Elizabeth
For: angelqueen04
Rating: NC-17
Request: John/Elizabeth. NC-17 with John in charge, takes place on Mainland. Featuring the Athosian Village optional.

Note: Fluffy like a bunny! It ended up being, er, longish. Ok, really long. But it was fun! And I thought about cutting it down then decided, what the hey! I’ll just send it in long anyway. I hope its ok! :D

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“Well, everyone seems to finally be getting back into the normal swing of things. Well, what passes for normal around here I guess.” John Sheppard sat down heavily in the chair across from Elizabeth Weir’s desk. Several papers on the surface fluttered in the breeze he made. Elizabeth absently slapped a hand down on them as she finished her thought on the status report she was writing. Her usual paper weights were in a box by the door still. She’d been unable to completely unpack since she’d been so busy helping everyone else unpack and getting the city up and running. Most of the original team had returned and there were a lot of new people now with them as well.

With General O’Neill and the IOA’s approval (and the ringing endorsement of Woolsey) the Atlantis expedition was back up and running in record time. The amount of research and technology coming from the city made it exceptionally valuable in the eyes of the IOA. They’d been very disappointed to loose their prize when the Ancients had reclaimed the city, consoling themselves with the fact that Woolsey would be their liaison with the returned Ancients. Even that had been taken when the Asurans had attacked and the Alterans had been unable to repel them.
Though they’d broken a lot of rules, ok they’d broken more or less all of the rules, Weir and Sheppard had restored Atlantis and all its technological marvels. They’d been given carte blanche to restore the city and the team there. The IOA was even making rumblings about establishing some sort of more permanent colony; now that the city was theirs again, they weren’t willing to lose it.

“Has Rodney finally settled down?” She asked without looking up from her report.

“Finally,” He replied with feeling, rolling his eyes.

“Well, that’s a relief. I was sure he’d run all the scientists off again,” Elizabeth sighed, leaning back in her chair. “Zalenka’s here to stay though at least.”

“Yeah I don’t think he could get back through the gate fast enough.”

“He wasn’t the only one,” Elizabeth admitted. John nodded assent, showing her he too had been eager to retake their home. Earth was home too. But he really wanted to be on Atlantis. Most of the expedition seemed to feel that way in fact. Most of the original team had returned with a few exceptions and a few surprises. Doctor Simpson had declined to return. Apparently she’d started a relationship with one of the Marines assigned to the SGC and was happy with her job there. Kavanaugh hadn’t returned. Apparently his antics were appreciated less at the SGC than they were at Atlantis, but he’d decided he liked the work at Area 51 just fine.
Miko Kusanagi had had a rough time when they returned to Earth too. She’d tried to integrate, she really had. She’d tried harder than Elizabeth herself had tried, the Atlantis leader had to admit privately. Miko’s government had put her in charge of a Japanese think tank but she had had little luck with that. When that position didn’t work out, she’d been transferred to at the SGC as part of the IOA exchange program and had started a relationship with one of the SGC nurses, a Japanese-American named Hiro Yashida. That and the fact that she clearly wished she was back on Atlantis were public knowledge.
What wasn’t in the file was the fact that the normally demure Kusanagi had pulled several Rodney-like tantrums and had pushed her team “too far” according to her superiors. Who knew the usually sweet-tempered Miko could be such a shrewish taskmaster? After Atlantis and the Expedition team, Earth technology and her Earth-bound cohorts had paled in comparison and she’d taken her frustration out on her team. She’d done better at the SGC, but still flitted about restlessly and had married Hiro less than two weeks after they’d started dating.
Miko was the first person in line as it were when the expedition was reopened, dragging her new husband’s record to Carson. Fortunately Yashida wasn’t adverse tot the idea of following his new wife to another galaxy and Beckett had been more than happy to approve the transfer of a highly qualified medical personnel. When the gate had opened, Miko had practically dragged Hiro through in her haste to get back.
Elizabeth sincerely hoped that the two would stay together if only to prevent her from another headache. She did not want to have to deal with any divorces as sudden as their marriage had been. The sudden change in everyone’s lives had driven some people together and some people apart. Word around the city was Kate Heightmeyer and Marcus Lorne were an item now. More nebulous was the relationship between Laura Cadman and Carson Beckett. They’d grown apart on Earth, but she’d heard the feisty marine had been seen lurking around Carson’s office and his quarters. She hoped they would be able to sort through their actual feelings like adults.

“What are you doing?” She realized he thoughts had drifted when something heavy made a loud ‘thunk’ on her desk. John was rummaging around in one of her remaining boxes of items to be unpacked. A heavy stone statuette had been unwrapped and placed on her desk.

“Helping you unpack,” John explained as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. Perhaps it was.

“Thanks,” Elizabeth finally said, deciding she wasn’t annoyed. Honestly if he hadn’t started she might not have gotten to it for another week. She knew his quarters had been reclaimed and probably unpacked within the first day of their reestablishment. She’d taken the time to unpack her own quarters as well. She’d felt the need to reclaim the room as her own, but the office knickknacks were less of a priority. “So what’s left?”

“Well, there is the no-so-small matter of the Athosians,” John commented. He turned the jar he’d given her for her first birthday on Atlantis over in his hands before setting it on the desk. The desk was different somehow. Bigger he finally realized. The Athosians had decided to move back to the Mainland after much thought and discussion among the council that ruled the tribe. Fortunately they hadn’t been on the planet when most recent near catastrophe had happened. They’d been informed of the incident and had chosen to move back anyway.

“I’ve been thinking,” Elizabeth said, interrupting John’s train of thought.

“You’re always thinking.” She rolled her eyes at his joke and continued on, undaunted.

“Well, I was wondering that if some of them would be willing to try out Carson’s gene therapy, maybe we could give them one or two of the puddle jumpers.” Elizabeth had never been entirely comfortable with being the only way the Athosians could get on and off the mainland, let alone the planet. She’d always felt they were hamstringing the Athosians somehow.

“I think that’s a great idea. We should ask Teyla. The Alterans left us a whole wing of new jumpers, so we’ve got extras,” John smiled. “They’re just about moved back too, so a few might have the time to learn before they get too busy, or something.” John paused for a second then added, “My only concern is no one will want to try out Beckett’s therapy.”

“None of them have the gene naturally,” Elizabeth sighed.

“Right,” Sheppard nodded, “and they can be…funny about stuff sometimes. I know they’re a different culture,” he said before she could protest. “And I get it. I do. It would just be…inconvenient.” Elizabeth nodded. The treatment hadn’t been offered to the Athosians before because when they’d first discovered it, they hadn’t been exactly sure of the side effects. It certainly wasn’t approved by any medical agency on Earth because the existence of the ATA gene was classified let alone any procedure that could add it to a person’s genome.

“Where is Teyla now?” she asked after a few moments in which Sheppard finished unpacking the last of her boxes.

“I think she’s on the mainland with the rest of the Athosians and Ronon. I’m supposed to go pick them up in a couple hours.” He checked his watch. “Make that three hours. Want to go early and ask now?”

Elizabeth saved her document and tapped her fingernails against the new desk. It was taller than her last one, she noted absently. She had a lot to do here, but she also wanted to strengthen their ties with the Athosians. They’d had to put up with a lot from the expedition and Elizabeth wanted to be sure they knew she didn’t think of them as second class citizens. Truthfully, if they had their own jumpers and pilots that’d also work better for both peoples in the long run. She pulled up her calendar for a moment then decided she could take the time.

“Yes I think I do. The sooner we can get this settled, the better I’ll feel. Besides, I’ve been cooped up here all week,” she smiled brilliantly. “It will be nice to walk on real land for a bit. I haven’t been to the mainland since we returned”

She shut down the laptop and told Charles she and Sheppard were going to the mainland to check in with the Athosians and to retrieve Ronon and Teyla. The man nodded and resumed his own tasks. She then radioed Rodney and told him not to sink the city while she they were on the mainland. Soon they were in the air. John couldn’t resist taking an extra lap through the city’s spires before setting a course for the Athosian settlement. They chatted for a bit, engaging in some light gossip and catching one another up on the latest unofficial city news, before John fell silent and Elizabeth noticed his entire demeanor change to a more serious one.

“John?” she queried. He looked at her and shifted uncomfortably before doing something to the control panel. The autopilot she realized as he let go of the controls and turned in his seat to face her.

“Look, I’m not great at talking. That’s what we’ve got you for. I’m better at the point and shoot stuff.” He held up a hand to halt her reply. “But even if I’m no good at the talking thing, I’m ok with listening. Well,” he admitted wryly, “I’m ok when it’s important.”

“John, what’s this about?” He rubbed the back of his head then pulled the fingers through his hair, messing it further.

“I called. We all did. I know losing the expedition that way was messed up. I know you didn’t like being back on Earth. I called. It was kind of messed up for me too. I know it was for Rodney. He called Beckettand me twice a day to complain.”

Elizabeth dropped her eyes, feeling a little shameful. The loss of Atlantis had hit her harder than she liked to admit. She’d been so lost in her own…grief that she’d ignored that her friends might be feeling the same way.

“I should have at least answered the phone,” she admitted. “I wasn’t being a good friend.”

“Well, neither were we,” Sheppard grumped.

“How do you figure that?” They had at least tried to reach out. She’d shut herself in and tried desperately to make sense of her world on her own. Writing it all down had both been therapeutic and accentuated the trauma all at once. To her credit, the suggestion had been from Kate Heightmeyer to take some time to reflect on her loss in that way. Though the psychologist hadn’t intended for her to…wallow in her sadness, which is what she’d done Elizabeth now realized.

“Well we didn’t go hunt you down. I didn’t come find you.”

“You didn’t have to do that.”

“I feel like I should have.” He twisted back in his chair and watched the sea roll by beneath the jumper. “We’re not supposed to leave anyone behind remember? I’m not supposed to.”

“That was hardly the same. And you did force me out of the house.” That dinner felt like ages ago, but she remembered it fondly. She’d been uncomfortably aware, once more, of how wrong the world was, but she’d also been reminded that she had friends.

“Doesn’t feel that way. Not after - nevermind.”

“Not after what?” Elizabeth demanded. John saw her determined look and sighed, knowing she’d never let up, he told her what he’d been thinking.

“When we finally decided to drag you out of the house, Carson called to tell us you were actually coming.”

“Yes?” Elizabeth’s voice dropped several degrees. John winced.

“He said it looked like you’d just broken up with Atlantis. And that’s when I realized what a crummy friend I’d been. I wanted to give you some space. But maybe I gave too much.”

Elizabeth was, for once, without words. Looking back on it all, the sweats, the solitude, the take out and tv dinners, the cartons of Ben and Jerry’s…Yes, it did look an awful lot like she’d just been through a bad breakup. She blushed furiously, grateful that they were having this conversation in private. Now, in the aftermath she supposed it was even a little funny. Not that she would ever admit that.

“I…” she began then cleared her throat. Why hadn’t she called John back? Or called him at all? She’d thought about it. She’d actually thought about it a lot. She sighed. “I was lost in my own…grief. And calling you all….I thought about it. Calling you? I thought about it.”

“Why’d you shut me out?” he asked. What he didn’t ask but she could plainly hear was “Why’d you shut me out, I thought we meant more to one another. We had a great relationship. I thought I was your friend.”

“I think I thought that if I called you. Any of you…then I’d have to admit that it was really over. If I’d have called you then I would have had to see you.”

His reply was a sad smile. “Sorry.” He put his hands on the controls to disengage the autopilot. She reached out quickly and put her hand on his to stop him.

“No! No, no. I didn’t mean it that way. I mean, I would have see you and you would have been just you; just John. Not my coworker. Not my military advisor.” She withdrew her hand quickly and folded them in her lap, staring straight ahead. “It would have been this terribly real thing instead of this horrible nightmare,” she concluded softly. John’s hands hovered over the controls for a moment more before he rested them on his knees.

“I shouldn’t have given you space.” He concluded sadly. If he’d not been such a coward or such an idiot, he’d have gone to her place like Beckett had. He should have jumped at the chance to really get to know Elizabeth. Nothing had stood in his way but himself, really. He was an idiot.

“Would that really have been better?” she asked. “I’d still be your boss now.”

“Yeah,” he grumped and moved to disengage the autopilot but was stopped agin by her next comment.

“I wish we’d have jumped at that opportunity, even so,”

He paused over the controls for a moment more before bringing them down again and retaking control. “Me too.”

“John? I’ll call next time.”

“And I won’t leave you behind.”

“Let’s hope there isn’t a next time.”

“Yeah.”

John felt better after their talk. This had been something that had been nagging at him since before they’d retaken the city from the Asurans. He still didn’t feel ok about it, but he knew he would be in time. He was really kicking himself for not taking advantage of the situation though. If he’d been smarter he would have. Smarter like Colonel Carter had when she’d been working at Area 51. He’d learned her story through the SGC grapevine. Now there was one smart lady. He guessed that’s why she was now a full bird colonel and he was still light on the eagles. She’d seen the opportunity to have a relationship and she’d taken it. John resolved to take more lessons from Colonel Carter’s book; after all they were in similar situations. Kinda. Sorta. And in any case, he could do a lot worse than take examples from one of the smartest persons Earth had to offer. For bonus points it’d probably piss Rodney off to no end if he ever found out.

Elizabeth felt regretful after their talk. She hadn’t realized how badly she’d messed up. Well, not consciously at least. She supposed her subconscious had always known. But at least they were alive and they were home again. She felt angry with herself, but she also felt determined and resolved not to screw up again. The mainland soon loomed ahead and she began going over how to best approach the situation with the Athosians in the most delicate way possible, since she really wasn’t sure how they’d react to the offer.

It turns out Elizabeth needn’t have worried.

“You can do this? You can give us the ability to fly your ships?” Halling asked, wide eyed.

“Well, it’s got a 40% chance success rate with our people,” John said.

“Actually Carson’s got it to 55% now,” Elizabeth added. John nodded, impressed.

“So you have a slightly better than average chance of getting the gene to take,” John amended.

“This is….this is a great gift. We are once more in your debt.” Halling said. He and Teyla both inclined their heads respectfully. Elizabeth waved off their praise.

“Halling, we’ve brought your people a lot of…inconvenience. We’d like to redress our mistakes. I’d like to redress them,” she emphasized. “We haven’t offered this before because we weren’t certain that the treatment was entirely safe. Actually, we don’t know if it has any long term effects. We do not think it does, but we wanted to be more sure before we started to offer it to your people. We didn’t want anyone to get hurt because we made a hasty decision.” Again, she added mentally.

“We understand, Elizabeth,” Teyla told her sincerely. “And we understand there may be risk. We will have to bring it up in council, but I see the vote going favorably.” She looked to Halling for confirmation and he nodded agreement.

“The one hitch is we haven’t talked this over with Beckett. Or have you?”

“I mentioned it to him. He thought there shouldn’t be any problem but there isn’t any way to be sure until we try it,” Elizabeth told them. John nodded. He shouldn’t have been surprised; she was always thinking ahead.

“If you would care to stay for the evening meal, I’m sure we can have an answer for you before you have to return to the city,” Teyla offered. John looked at Elizabeth and shrugged. She nodded after a moment. They might as well stay and a real, home-cooked meal was always nice, even if it was on an alien planet in an alien galaxy. Sheppard stepped outside to radio the city that they were staying for dinner.

The two Tau’ri enjoyed dinner with the Athosians and by nightfall the council had approved the trials. Halling and several other adults made arrangements to return to Atlantis that evening and spent the night in observation. Teyla declined to be included in the group, citing that on AG-1 both John and Rodney had the gene and that it was often advantageous to not have it. John looked like he was going to argue, but Elizabeth’s hand on his shoulder silenced him.
In the morning, the gene had taken in half the adults who’d been given the therapy, including Halling. Feeling much better about her city’s relationship with their mainland neighbors, Elizabeth approved flying lessons for the volunteers with John and the transfer of two puddlejumpers once he felt his new students could cope.

Two months after the Expedition had been re-established, the Daedalus arrived with supplies too big to fit into a puddle jumper and new personnel, as well as Mr. Woolsey. The bald man teleported down into Atlantis Stargate operations and looked around.

“Mr. Woolsey,” Elizabeth greeted with a bit more warmth than she had the last time he’d arrived in her city. She stepped down the flight of steps to shake his hand.

“Dr. Weir.” Their relationship was still formal, but O’Neill, Weir, Sheppard and Sheppard’s team were now held in a new light of respect by the IOA representative.

“Truthfully I was a little surprised to see you back here so soon,” she commented casually as they walked up to her office.

“Truthfully? Me too. But I knew I had to return or I’d never get over it,” the bureaucrat admitted. Elizabeth could respect that. “How are things here?”

“Going well. The city is getting back to what passes for normal around here, the new folks are settling in and we’ve expanded the residential and science lab zones to accommodate them. The Athosians are about to begin their planting season. They’ve invited all of us over for a bit of a festival the day after tomorrow. Everyone here and on the Daedalus are invited if you’re still around.”

“You gave them the gene therapy and two puddlejumpers, correct?”

“Yes. I felt it would be in everyone’s interest if we weren’t the sole means of transport for the Athosians. This also frees up some of my people for other duties. Colonel Sheppard has been teaching them and has passed two as qualified pilots thus far,” She sat behind her desk as Woolsey settled in the chair opposite.

“Good. The IOA agrees, and so do I personally.”

“Good,” Elizabeth smiled and set her folded hands on her blotter.

A few hours later she and Woolsey were wrapping up the first of their scheduled conversations when John came in with Halling and Teyla.

“Mr. Woolsey, I believe you know Teyla Emmagan,”

“Ms. Emmagan,” he greeted her. Teyla inclined her head and introduced her companion.

“This is Halling Andaro. Halling is another leader among my people,”

“And one of the first puddlejumper pilots,” John added.

“Nice to meet you as well and congratulations.”

“Thank you, Mr. Woolsey. Will you be among those joining us for the festivities before we begin the planting season?”

“I’d be delighted to attend. I just have to make sure my ride isn’t leaving without me. If the Deadalus is still here I’d be more than happy to come.”

“Wonderful!” Halling enthused.

“Congratulations on passing flight school,” Elizabeth said. The Athosian man grinned happily.

”Colonel Sheppard is a tough teacher, but I know I’ve learned from the best.”

“Elizabeth, Halling and I have a small request in regards to the festival,” Teyla spoke up now that the pleasantries were over with. Truthfully she wasn’t sure how her Tau’ri friends would react. It was her hope that they would be able to come and have an enjoyable time even if they didn’t agree to the council elders’ request. She expected the leaders to decline and had told the council so, but she agreed to ask anyway.

“Oh? How can we help?” Elizabeth asked cheerfully. Dr. Weir seemed to think she owed the Athosians something. Though Teyla had tried to dissuade her from such notions, after all the gift of living on Lantea was enormous, the Tau’ri women still stubbornly seemed to think she’d wronged the Athosians somehow.

“Dr. Weir, the Council Elders would very much like it if you and Colonel Sheppard would be participants in the ceremony.”

“Oh,” Elizabeth’s eyes darted over at Woolsey then John before coming back to Halling. Exactly as Teyla had predicted, she quickly tried to think of a diplomatic way to get out of it, before Woolsey spoke up.

“I’m sure they’d be happy to,” he answered for them jovially.

“Well, that is, we would, but I’m not sure we can.”

“Why not?” Woolsey asked her. His tone clearly implied he thought there was absolutely nothing wrong with a simple request.

“How about ‘we don’t want to get our wrists slapped for participating in alien rituals the next time the IOA decides it doesn’t like us’, for a reason?” John asked with mock lightness. Elizabeth shot him a death glare and he fell silent.

“Well, we want good relations with our Allies. Lord knows we need them. I think that the IOA can approve of this.” The bureaucrat supposed he could understand where John was coming from now, and Elizabeth’s hesitation. Until recently, they hadn’t exactly been on the IOAs list of favorites.

“Can we get it in writing?” John asked, despite himself. Woolsey sighed and shook his head with a small smile to try and convey to the two officers that as far as the IOA was concerned, they could practically do anything right now.

“Well if you really want to be so formal about it, sure,” he said lightly. Woolsey was fairly certain that they wouldn’t slip onto the IOA’s shit list, again, any time soon, but he did have to admit that the organization’s favor could be fickle. If they wanted to be, well, anal about covering their asses, he could at least help them before his presence caused some sort of intergalactic diplomatic incident. Not only were the Athosians allies, they were food producing allies. Trade with them helped keep the extravagant cost of Atlantis down, and gave everyone in the city fresh food. After having nothing to eat but MREs, Woolsey could sympathize with the desire to have anything else to eat.

“Really? Cool.” Elizabeth sighed and made a mental note to speak with John about diplomacy. Again.

“You are one of the Tau’ri leaders who directs the people here?” Halling asked Woolsey.

“Well, not precisely. I’m a representative from an oversight committee. It is my job to see that everything is working out for the best interest of Earth and her Allies. I see no reason why Colonel Sheppard and Dr. Weir couldn’t participate.” He turned a frank look at Sheppard. “And if you’d really like me to write something out to “cover your asses”,” he made little air quotes with his fingers “I can do that too.”

Woolsey won brownie points with Sheppard for that. He smirked at the other man and nodded approval. Woolsey allowed himself a small smirk back at the Colonel.

“Well,” Halling began, “In that case the council elders would be honored if you would participate as the avatars of Earth and Sky.”
Elizabeth caught Teyla’s suddenly frantic look as she caught Halling’s elbow.

“As long as no one gets hurt, I don’t see why not?” Woolsey said, full of good humor. Halling grinned despite Teyla’s firm grip on his arm.

“Well, I love a party as much as the next guy but what exactly will the good Doctor and I have to do?” John asked Halling.

“The ceremony of union is a reenactment of one of our oldest stories, from the time before the Wraith, from before we understood many things about technology. The participants act as the avatars of the earth and sky and reenact the union of the two against their enemies and the creation of the world and the Athosian people.”

“Okay,” John said, drawing the word out,

“It is considered a very great honor to be chosen,” Teyla added in. “We only do that ceremony when the Elders of the council decide so.”

“You have given our people so much, they wish to accord you that honor,” Halling added. “They felt it would bring good luck to us all if you participated in the Spring Rites of Union.” Halling added.

“But the council elders understand you might not wish to. Please do not feel pressured to do so if it is not in your hearts,” Teyla concluded. The relationship between the leaders of Atlantis was a strong one, but very strange sometimes. Again she accorded the difference to the Tau’ri having come from a culture where one did not live as if every day was their last.

“Well,” Elizabeth started before she was interrupted by Woolsey.

“I’m sure they’d be delighted to.” Turning to Elizabeth he said “I know the IOA has second-guessed you and there have been political concerns in the past. But you and your people returned the city to us, and while you’ve made your mistakes, we have as well. You and you people have a very good track record, all things considered. All that in the past and is neither here nor there, though. It is not the position of the IOA to interfere with your ability to make and keep allies. If you would feel more comfortable with that in writing, I’ll be happy to do so when I make my check in. As much as it might seem like it at times, the IOA really doesn’t want to micromanage at that level.” He straightened his coat. “We might want to establish some formal rules about this sort of thing anyway.”

Elizabeth nodded and checked her watch. “Well you have your check in, in a few moments anyway I think. We’ll leave you to your communication. I’ll tell them to dial in and send the feed to your laptop.”

“Very well.”

The Athosians, Weir and Sheppard left her office. Elizabeth had the gate dialed then made a beeline for the balcony, John right on her heels.

“Wow,” was all Sheppard could say when they were finally outside. Elizabeth was gripping the railing so hard her knuckles were white. “So I take it by your death grip you’re interpreting what the Athosians are asking us to do is the same as what I’m interpreting?” She nodded silently, once. He was sure the slight tenseness in her shoulders was visible only to him because he knew her so well; the white knuckled grip visible because he was standing so close.
They were both savvy enough to alien rituals in general and Athosian ones in specific to realize what this probably was: a marriage ritual.

“John,” Teyla began to explain. She looked unsure of herself. “I apologize for Halling.”

“Teyla,” Halling gave her a dirty look. “I happen to agree with the Council Elders. I feel it would bring balance the Tau’ri need and I think that they would not be opposed to the idea. If I had felt otherwise I wouldn’t have brought it up.” Teyla sighed and felt like pulling out her hair. Or maybe Halling’s. Her cousin was usually very tactful, but in matters of the heart he was as bold as Darja beast and half as subtle.

“So let me get this straight.” John leaned against the railing next to Elizabeth, counting it as a good sign that she didn’t jump away when his hip brushed the side of her hand. “The old guys on the Athosian council, want us to get married to bless your crops this season.”

“That is it at the most basic level, yes,” Teyla admitted, eyes telling him silently that she was sorry for any embarrassment. She shrugged slightly to let her know he knew it wasn’t her fault.

“And Woolsey just gave us the go ahead to do it and even promised that the IOA wouldn’t say anything,” John mused with careful levity.

“I wouldn’t go that far,” Elizabeth said, voice carrying just a tiny hint of bitterness. She was watching the waves break against the city, trying to make sense of her conflicting feelings and thoughts.

“Well, ok. I don’t think Woolsey is savvy enough to get all of what Halling’s ceremony implies. Though he might have something to say if he did know.”

“I don’t think I’d be able to leave here again, you know.” Elizabeth admitted softly. The bickering cousins were deep in their own argument and didn’t hear her. John barely did and he was listening closely. “I don’t know if I’d be able to live. I know that sounds awful, but I know it’s true. I care too much. I don’t know why, but I do. And yet…” she trailed off. John turned and leaned on the railing as well, one hand on the railing, the other covering her hand.

“I know,” he said equally softly. “But I can’t help but think this might be an opportunity.” He was thinking back to their conversation in the puddlejumper only a couple weeks before.

“I thought that too,” she admitted.

“It’s so crazy,” he started to say.

“It just might work,” she finished.

“Would you do it?” he asked carefully keeping his voice light and neutral.

“With you?”

“With me.”

“Yes.” No hesitation. His heart did little flip flops and he brushed his thumb against the side of her hand. Her fingers uncurled from their death grip. As crazy as it was, and as crazy things went, this was up there, she knew her heart in this matter.

“So I guess the question,” he chuckled at his own words, “is will you?” She swallowed and watched the sea as if it might give her some answer.

“What if they decide they don’t like the job we’re doing anymore and use it as an excuse to get rid of one or both of us?”

“Oh, that’s easy.” John replied casually.

“It is?” she looked at him critically out of the corner of her eye.

“Sure. If they try anything, we go to Plan B. I’ve got it all worked out.”

“I’m almost afraid to ask.” She smiled slightly. “OK, I’ll bite. What’s Plan B?”

John smirked and turned around to lean on the balcony again. He crossed his arms over his chest and his eyes were alight with mischief as he looked at her. “Plan B is where we become Space Pirates.”

“Space pirates.”

“Yep. We grab a stalwart and loyal crew from the people here, smack Caldwell over the head, steal the Daedalus and become space pirates.”

She blinked once. Twice. She wasn’t entirely sure he was being funny and that in turn made her want to giggle.

“Now here me out,” he said hold up placating hands. “I’ve actually given this some thought. First of all, running off and being a space pirate is much better than being space ninjas. That’s now Plan C.”

“Really?” she croaked out a laugh.

“Really! It’s much better. Unless you like sake, I guess. Personally I prefer rum, but that’s beside the point. We just take a ship and pillage the cosmos. Earth has too much going on to really spend time and energy hunting us down. In the meantime we can carve out our own little place in the universe. Most of those stuffed shirts have no idea what the hell goes on out here. They’d never be able to find us. And it’s not like we’d be doing anything really nefarious like those NID people did back in the Milky Way. I can’t see you making anyone walk the plank.”

“John,” She half laughed, half scolded. Well, he’d gotten her to smile and sort of laugh. He counted this as a victory. “You’re not serious, though. Are you?” She asked, searching his eyes for a moment before looking back to the sea. He placed his one hand back on the railing and the other on her hand.

“This is home. I won’t let anyone take it from me. Not again.”

Elizabeth felt slightly giddy. He was half-joking, but a half joke held a kernel of truth. He really wouldn’t let them take her if it came to that. Sadly, she didn’t think she’d risk it.

“I think we need to tell Woolsey what this implies. I don’t think we’ll be able to get away with not saying anything. I don’t think that we’d be able to get off on a technicality like “I didn’t know”, John.”

“Yeah,” he shrugged with a kind smile. “I kind of figured that. But now you know about my secret Plans B and C.” He winked.

“And how are they that different?” she asked.

“Ah. Well in Plan B when you give orders we all say “Aye Aye!”, there’s a lot of “Arrrr” and calling people “Scurvy dogs” and we get cutlasses and rum.”

“cutlasses?”

“Yeah! And in Plan C, when you give us orders we all say “Hai!” and we get katanas and sake.”

“It all becomes clear.” She turned around and leaned against the railing.

“Sarcasm? What’s that?” he said, nudging her shoulder. The fell into an easy silence while Teyla and Halling continued to argue in the background. Elizabeth saw the gate shut down and pushed away from the railing, heading back to her office. John followed after, stepping around Teyla and Halling who seemed to be having a rather heated discussion about the pulling of pigtails, of all things, some time ago. He caught up to Elizabeth and the two reentered her office where Woolsey was standing over her office printer. He removed the paper it spat out, fished a pen from his coat pocket and signed it with a flourish.

“I realize that we do need to sit down and formally hash all of this out, but I believe the language will be sufficient?” he held the paper out for Weir’s inspection. She took it and read it carefully, noting where there could be potential problems in the future with a practiced eye. Sheppard rocked on his heels, confident she’d catch anything sneaky. Woolsey might seem like he was trying to be more of a person rather than a stuffed shirt, but he still didn’t entirely trust the guy. Not yet. He made himself useful by closing the door to her office. The glass slid shut with a small ‘click’. Elizabeth lowered the paper.

“This would suffice,” she started.

“But?” Woolsey supplied.

“Well,” she said slowly, seeming to search for the words out of the corner of her eye. She focused back on the IOA representative again. “The ceremony that Halling spoke about is actually a marriage ceremony.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“Well,” Woolsey smiled nervously, “it’s a good thing you found that out beforehand. That would be sort of embarrassing otherwise.”

“Just a bit,” John chimed in. Elizabeth shot him a look which made him grin unrepentantly back at her.

“Do you…want to get married?” Woolsey asked tentatively.

Like many, he’d speculated on the nature of their relationship, but honestly, as long as they didn’t screw up because of it, it wasn’t his business. He’d been a little disappointed in Elizabeth and for getting into a relationship with a subordinate, but their situation had been extremely unusual and it had never adversely affected their work. In fact she’d even been able to send Sheppard on what was effectively a suicide mission until Colonel Caldwell had plucked him out of the Jumper. His estimation of her had risen again when he’d had all the data in front of him. Sheppard, despite the occasional situation, was a good choice for the Military commander of Atlantis. Elizabeth’s head snapped back around to look at Woolsey. A blush crept up into her cheeks.

“We’ve never…” John let Woolsey fill in the blank. “We’ve never even had a date. Or I guess what would pass for one here,” he lest some exasperation color his voice. He didn’t want Woolsey to get the impression that Elizabeth had been improper. The bald man’s reaction was confusing. Frankly, he’d expected more…yelling.

“Never?” Woolsey blinked owlishly at the pair. They’d never been together? This was a surprise.

“No,” Elizabeth said firmly.

“Oh,” Woolsey loosened his tie and looked slightly guilty. “Well,” He felt bad for having assumed Elizabeth had been less than professional; bad that they IOA had.

“Wait. You mean to say the IOA thought…that we?” he pointed at himself and then Elizabeth. “That we’ve been…you know?”

“Intimate?” Woolsey suggested.

“Yeah. That.”

“Mr. Woolsey we’ve never done anything.” Elizabeth said firmly. She was actually sort of cross now that she’d learned what the IOA had thought. “How long have you thought we were…”

“Ah. Well. Truthfully we suspected it after we reestablished contact,” Woolsey sheepishly admitted. Elizabeth blanched.

“That long?” John voiced the surprise both of them felt.

“Yes. But we had no hard evidence and it became very clear that whatever your personal relationship outside of work, you were not letting it interfere professionally.” Woolsey shrugged. It was true. “Frankly the idea of being very…military about personal relationships doesn’t sit with will the IOA. We don’t want to regulate personal relationship. As long as it doesn’t interfere with your ability to do your job, we don’t care and frankly, we don’t really want to know the details.”

“Oh,” Elizabeth said in a rare moment of near speechlessness. The moment didn’t last long. “Mr. Woolsey, I’m not sure how I should feel about this.”

“Look, Dr. Weir, Elizabeth,” Woolsey placated. “The IOA sees no need to replace you, especially not after restoring the city. Even if we all assumed incorrectly that you were in a relationship, that has no bearing on our decision to let you command this expedition.” He shrugged, “We may have thought perhaps that was why you fought to keep Colonel Sheppard as your second in command and head of the military here, but we quickly changed that opinion when we saw the work you’ve been doing.” That and she’d been able to send him to what was almost certainly his death to try and save the rest of the Expedition. Their actions spoke volumes about their commitment to their respective duties and ability to ignore their personal feelings. Whatever was going on, whatever they both claimed, there was more than friendship here, even if they weren’t intimate. That line might not have been crossed physically, but in Woolsey’s opinion, it might as well have been emotionally. He wouldn’t change his opinion either way. If they wished to cross it now, then he had every faith that they’d act with the same sensibility and decorum they had before.

‘Gee, thanks,” Sheppard grumbled.

“I’m sorry,” the bureaucrat said sincerely. Facing Elizabeth again he said, “In regards to this matter, you should do what you want to do. The IOA wants to turn this into a colony.” Elizabeth nodded. This wasn’t news to her, in fact it had been part of what they’d been discussing before John, Teyla and Halling had walked into her office. It was to Sheppard though. The military man arched a brow; this wasn’t exactly a safe place. Though, as he thought about it, most colonies didn’t start out safe.
“It’d be sort of silly to stop people from having relationships if we want them to consider making more permanent lives here. I personally have every confidence that the people here can keep their work and their personal lives in check and not turn Atlantis into some sort of hormonally driven, overly dramatic prime-time TV angst-fest.” Woolsey plucked the half forgotten paper from Weir’s hands and held it up in front of her. “This certainly still stands. If you do choose to…do the ceremony, it might not be legal back home, but it certainly won’t get you in trouble with me. Unless you started to let it affect your judgment, of course; then we’d have a talk. Now if you excuse me I’m a bit jetlagged and I believe you probably have some talking to do.” He smile was kind and Elizabeth couldn’t help but return it, despite lingering feelings of anger towards the IOA. Woolsey beat a dignified, if hasty retreat. As soon as he was out of sight, she sank back into her chair. John dropped into the seat across from her and slid down, crossing his arms sulkily.

“I don’t know if I should be angry or not,” he complained. “I think I should feel offended.”

“Tell me about it.” Weir pinched the bridge of her nose and wondered where’d she’d left her stash of Advil. They were silent for a few moments, each in their own thoughts.

“I-“
“You-“ they both said at the same time then laughed.

“You first,” John said. She smiled thanks and took a moment to recompose her thoughts. “Actually,” he interrupted, putting a hand to his earpiece, “one second. Yeah Major? Yeah? Can it wait? Sort of. No. Yes. Really? Ok. Sheppard out.”

She sighed. “Duty calls?”

“Duty Calls. And seems to me that as we’ve just been complimented on our extremely good ability to be discreet and put our jobs first, I should take care of this.” He arched a wry eyebrow and got to his feet. “It’s not a big emergency, I should be finished soon.”

“All right then,” Elizabeth said. He smiled apologetically and left. She watched him go then got to her feet as he was descending the stairs. Her mind was suddenly very clear. Elizabeth left her office and leaned on the control center railing. “John?” she called out after him. He spun around and started to walk backwards slowly while he waited for her to say whatever it was she needed to say. “That question you asked me earlier?”

“Yeah?” he stopped walking, not really remembering what he’d asked.

“The answer is ‘yes’.”

The answer was what? Oh. Oh! He grinned back. “Really?”

“Yep,” she replied, feeling a little giddy. “We can talk about that later though,” she said waving him off. Sheppard grinned and turned back around, whistling to himself as he went to go save Lorne from a bunch of fresh-off-the-Daedalus Marines.

Teyla caught up to him about an hour later when he was leaving the section of the city designated as the new Marine’s barracks. Inviting John and Elizabeth to get married was not what she’d intended to have happen when she’d started the conversation earlier. True, the Elders of the council had wanted the two leaders to participate in that capacity, but Teyla had told them it was unlikely they’d accept. Instead they were supposed to have offered different roles, in a different springtime ceremony. Halling just had to play the hopeless romantic and speak up.

“Hey Teyla,” he greeted.

“John, I’m sorry, I-“

“Nothing to worry about, really. And I’ll have to get back to you on it definitely, but I think you can count on both Elizabeth and I doing whatever it is that Halling and the old folks want us to do.”

“Really?” She was slightly taken aback. Her friends had shown great restraint with their hearts up until now. As surprised as she was, she was also pleased.

“Yep. I’m actually going to talk to Elizabeth about it right now. Uhm, so maybe you can fill me in on what exactly it is you want us to do?” Teyla smiled and began explaining as they walked. By the time they reached the control center again, Elizabeth had ducked out for the evening. John bid Teyla and the C.I.C. tech goodnight and wandered down to her quarters. He wasn’t sure about all of this, it felt too surreal, but then again, he’d seen a lot of surreal things in the past three years or so, so maybe this wasn’t so unbelievable. What the Athosians actually wanted them to do was simple enough, though one bit of it she might not go for. She answered her door after a moment, toweling her hair dry.

“Hey,” she greeted over her shoulder as she retreated back to her bathroom. John followed her into the room and let the door close behind him. Her quarters were warm and steamy from the shower and smelled like her shampoo.

“Hi.” He sank onto her couch and told her some of what he’d learned in the past twenty minutes or so. “I saw Teyla and they want us to come to the mainland tomorrow morning to learn what we need to do. Basically we have to dress up, walk around a bit, do some ritual stage combat and recite some stuff.”

“I hear an “and” in there. What else?” She called from the bathroom. Elizabeth returned a moment later without the towel and began running some sort of long-toothed comb through her hair. John watched her for a moment before continuing.

“Uh, well,” he paused a moment to collect his thoughts. “There’s a bit where we’re “challenged to answer” some ritual protests from the village Elders. We step out of character I guess and we say vows to one another. Well, Teyla called it a “bonding pledge” but it’s the same thing. And then they want us to go consummate the marriage while everyone else ritually plants the first field. Well, Teyla said the adults drink a lot of beer and everyone’s kind of tipsy by then so they don’t seriously try to plant anything and the kids mostly play in the dirt,” John knew he was rambling and shut up. Meeting her eyes for the first time he was surprised to see she seemed to be considering this new information in a favorable way. At least he thought she was; she hadn’t said “no” outright. Silently she pulled the loose hair out of her comb and tossed it away. Elizabeth set the comb on her nightstand and sat facing him on the edge of the bed, drawing her knees to her chest. “Say something?” he prompted.

“Sorry, I was just thinking. It’s not…in front of anyone then, right?”

“The, uh, consummation part?”

“That part,”

“I asked. No.” She was silent again and he offered, “yeah I guess that particular kink isn’t part of the ritual.” She smiled at his joke.

“Do they announce that’s what we’ve gone off to do?” she asked. “That might be a little…weird.”

“Uhm. Well the Athosians might know, seeing as it’s their ritual. But I don’t think they say it outright. I don’t think everyone from Atlantis will get where we’ve gone off to.”

“How long?” she asked, then blushed prettily. Clearing her throat she asked again, “How long between the part where we disappear and uhm, then have to return.” John decided she really was fetching when she blushed. He’d also asked Teyla the same question and probably had looked something like she did now; not that he was going to mention that to her.

“Teyla said about an hour. The kids usually get really muddy playing in the dirt so they need to get cleaned up before dinner. We’re also supposed to change out our outfits before we come back. “

She nodded silently and hugged her knees to her chest. “Ok,” she finally said. “What do we have to do in the ceremony bits? Can you give me any more detail?” He nodded and repeated what Teyla had told him, watching her expression carefully. She smiled over her knees at him. He was rapidly beginning to recognize this as a defensive posture for her. Apparently she felt as off balance as he did.

“That actually sounds kind of…pretty,” she admitted.

“Yeah, I thought so. It’s kind of…nice.”

“I had you figured for a romantic at heart, John Sheppard,” she teased lightly.

“Just don’t let it get around. Especially not to the marines,” he stage whispered.

She chuckled, answering back in the same not-whisper, “Ok!”

“So what are you thinking?” he asked after noticing another blush race across her cheeks. He wasn’t good with words and emotions usually, but directly asking seemed to work with her. He reflected with some amusement that guys usually avoided asking women that question, but for them it worked. The blush deepened. She hugged her legs again and didn’t meet his eyes.

“We’re contemplating…this ceremony and we’ve never really kissed,” she admitted, “The one where we were under the influence of aliens doesn’t count,” she added in quickly before he could bring that up.

“Well,” he said impishly, “we should fix that.” He moved off the couch and sat behind her on the bed so she had to twist away from her protective ball to see him. When she did, one hand went to the side of her face and he darted in for a kiss.

He’d meant it to be sweet and short, something which told her how he felt when he really wasn’t so great at putting it into words. He was definitely a man of actions. But the kiss rapidly turned from something sweet and light to something passionate, heavy and oh-so-much sweeter. When they broke apart, gasping for air, he was sprawled half on top of her on the coverlet and his other hand had found its way mysteriously up her shirt.

“Marry me?” he asked breathlessly.

“Yes,” she replied, equally breathless.

The second kiss, if anything, was better than the first. When he broke it off she let out a little mewl of protest and he very nearly lost his presence of mind again. He ducked his head into her shoulder and wrapped her into a hug. She returned the hug and tried to stop her racing heart with slow breaths. He rolled them so he was the one on the bottom and not laying across her uncomfortably.

“This is weird, isn’t it?” he asked from her still damp hair. She smelled wonderful.

“What? Never having dated and deciding to get married in an alien ritual on an alien planet in another galaxy? I’d say it’s a bit unusual.” He laughed and hugged her.

“Ever the diplomat, huh?”

“That’s why they pay me the big bucks,” She said loftily.

“Does this bother you? The suddenness?” he asked, burying his head against the crook of her neck and shoulder.

“Does it bother you?” she turned the question back at him. He scowled into her skin, not liking she’d avoided the question.

“What bothers me is that the IOA thought I was already sleeping with you when in reality I’ve been nothing but a gentleman.” His tone was mockingly light. John grunted, annoyed “The way Rodney goes on and on about me being the “Kirk of Atlantis” I know some people here think I’ll go after anything in a skirt with a pulse. Or hell, just the skirt. I don’t really give a damn what other people think about me. I do however give a damn about what people think of you. I don’t want to bring you down.” He kissed the side of her neck gently. “I know some of the ladies have dubbed me the ‘slut of the Pegasus galaxy,’ Elizabeth. I can deal with that. I don’t want them to think any less of you though since you’d, you know,” he trailed off.

“I’d be with you?”

“Yeah,”

Weir grimaced. She’d been present in those conversations when the subject of John Sheppard’s supposed intergalactic conquests came up. They were familiar topics of conversation at Poker Night. They’d all seen him chat women up. Some had been chatted up by him. But no one could actually find anyone in the city who’d ever actually slept with him. There were a couple mission reports where he may have, but Elizabeth trusted his judgment, and really hadn’t wanted to know details. He hadn’t picked anything up if he had slept with anyone; Carson would have been in her office in an instant if that had been the case.
She slid down so she could tuck her head under his chin and hug him. She hadn’t realized how much she’d wanted to do that until she realized that right now, she could. With this tantalizing and insane opportunity in front of them, maybe she could forever.

“I can deal with whatever people say, John.”

“No dodging the question then. Does this bother you?”

“The suddenness? Maybe a little,” she sighed. “That doesn’t change what I want. I want you.” In the end, her mother had been right; when you met that special person you knew it. She’d taken three days to say yes to Simon. She’d taken all of three heartbeats to say yes to John. The difference was staggering.

”You’re my best friend here. You’re probably the best friend I’ve had. Aren’t you supposed to end up with that person?”

He shrugged. “I never thought I’d ever end up with anyone,” John answered honestly.

“Really?” she was surprised by that. After getting to know John, he was definitely ‘a catch’ in her mind. His ability to get into trouble was a bit of a headache, but he wouldn’t have been him without that aspect of his personality.

“Yeah. The kind of women I’ve always attracted were all very nice girls. Usually very attractive. But, to be honest? Most were clueless, dense or just plain boring. Well, the civilians. The women in the airforce were usually more intriguing, but fraternization rules and all.” He shrugged again. “And a couple of the ones I could have possibly wanted to date were either all already married or didn’t want anything to do with a skirt chasing flyboy.” He twisted a lock of drying hair between his fingers. Her hair was getting longer now. He wondered if she’d get it cut or if she’d let it grow.

“Sounds like you needed a partner instead of an arm ornament.”

“Yowch!” he laughed at the sheer rancor underlying that statement.

“Sorry.”

“No you’re not. Neither am I. I’m just a tad surprised by the venom there, Dr. Weir.” His tone was very droll. She snorted a laugh.

“Let’s not go there, ok?” she pleaded.

“There’s a story there,” John told her. “I’ll let it go for now if you promise to tell me someday.”

”Deal,” she agreed. “There’s a lot we should talk about, you know.”

“Yeah, I know. What did you have in mind?” He asked.

“Woolsey was right. This won’t be legal on Earth. How do we deal with that?”

“Find someone with recognized authority to legalize it, I guess.” Her grip tightened on him for a moment and he held her closer. “I want to legalize it.”

“Me too,”

“So we figure that out when we can. Woolsey is a lawyer or something, isn’t he? Maybe he could write something?”

“I’ll check,” she promised. “I said something. Your turn.”

“I want kids,” he stated, diving in head first. That was actually one of the first things he’d thought about. Right after “would she really want to marry me of all people?” and “Will I lose my job over this?” he’d thought about if he wanted a family and had realized he really did. He wanted one with Elizabeth. “I’d be ok with one, but I really want two. Having a sibling is better than being an only kid.” He rubbed a hand up and down her back. “I know it’s a pretty big thing to ask, but I want to be someone’s dad.”

When she’d decided to go through with this insanity earlier. she’d thought of children, briefly, then mentally run away. It was too scary to contemplate and she’d not been sure about John’s feelings on the subject. She’d locked whatever she’d felt down and had shoved her emotions aside. Now she could examine those feelings. She knew where he stood, so where did she stand? The entire concept of pregnancy scared her. Every part from not being entirely in control and the physical strain she knew it would put on her aging body, to the unimaginable responsibility that resulted in the end. She tried to imagine herself pregnant, with kids. What would her life be like, she wondered. Images of what her children might look like rose unbidden in her mind. Pregnancy still terrified her, but kids did not.
John had gone back to playing with her hair. She knew he’d be there for her. Provided they didn’t get killed by the Asurans, eaten by the Wraith or blown up by Rodney or the Genii, of course. She couldn’t kid herself; Atlantis was a dangerous place. Though, the IOA did really want to start a colony here. Having all their eggs in one basket, as it were, on Earth didn’t sit well with them. Despite the danger here in Pegasus, it was the safest place to start an actual colony. Selfishly she wanted to see that happen. The emptiness of the city was wrong. Atlantis needed people. Families. Children.
Her mind decided, she wondered if the people she was committing herself to would forgive her selfishness in bringing them into the world. She hoped they would. If they were anything like her, they’d love it here.

“Ok.” She finally answered. “I think I could do two.” John placed a gentle kiss on her head then tilted her chin up so he could kiss her lips. “Since it’s technically up to you, I’d like one of each, but we don’t get to choose that.” He chuckled. But,” she sighed, “I’m not exactly young anymore.”

“Neither am I.”

“I’m just saying it might be too late already.” She was being realistic, but the sadness she felt was stronger than she’d thought it would or could be. He nodded.

“We’ll take what we can get?” Nodding she leaned up to kiss him again. She was sure they had other things to discuss, things they really should discuss, but she couldn’t think of any right now. She knew she just needed to kiss him again. The kiss became involved and he rolled them over so she was beneath him. Once again his hands had found their way under her clothing, fingers lightly exploring her skin. They broke with air starved gasps and dazed expressions.

“You should go,” she said after she felt she could speak again.

“Kicking me out?” He joked.

“If you don’t leave now, you’re not going to,” she told him, voiced in a low, sexy register he’d never heard before. He hoped to god he’d hear it again. A lot. John pulled back from the embrace and was startled by matching look in her eyes. Yeah, he needed to go if he was going to leave this evening. Ever one to live on the edge, he leaned forward and stole another kiss before rolling off the bed.

“Then I’ll see you in the morning, 0700 hours, the Jumper bay.” he grinned and was gone before he lost his resolve to leave her room.

~

Click for part 2