Fic: Love Osmosis by clwilson2006 (AMTDI Callenge)
Title: Love Osmosis. (AMTDI Challenge)
Characters: Everyone.
Word Count: ~700
Rating: PG
Warnings/Spoilers: None.
Summary: Rodney brings back a souvenir from a trading mission.
Disclaimer: Definitely not mine. Just borrowing for a while, my greatest respect to the people who DO own this.
A/N: My first Flashfic. Ta-Da! Un-beta'd. So it's all my fault. If you notice anything horrible, please let me know so I can correct it. Thanks.
Love Osmosis
by clwilson2006
Dr. Rodney McKay, completely unaware of his actions, brought back a most unlikely souvenir from P2X-491. It was not something anyone could have bought or traded for, and it almost brought Atlantis to it's knees.
It was a virus. A nasty little bugger, Carson Beckett's words, not Rodney's, that took the medical team several days to identify, cure and inoculate. It perhaps would have been quicker if less of the medical team had not been suffering from it's effects.
It began with a simple trading mission, the natives were a friendly, cheerful people. They agreed to trade a grain much like wheat and a root vegetable similar to carrots; all they wanted in exchange was stories and poetry. Seems they were bored.
Ronon sealed the trade agreement with half an hour of Satedan poetry, and they went on their way.
The de-brief was, well brief, they didn't have much to say when it wasn't about how many times McKay had been shot at/tripped over/couldn't find an energy signature/offended the natives - in fact Rodney had been quite popular, much everyone amazement.
The first sign anything was wrong occurred just after the meeting, Amelia was waiting outside Mr. Woolsey's office and Rodney took one look at her, grabbed her, and folded her backwards over his arm and kissed her. An old fashioned movie style kiss. It left her stunned, and Ronon growling at Rodney. With a grin and a “Jealous much” comment, Rodney turned and inflicted the same kiss on Ronon. Unfortunately for Rodney, Ronon was not such a willing participant, and Rodney dropped him on the floor.
“What the Hell, McKay!” resulted in a confused Rodney being escorted to the infirmary by his team.
No one noticed Amelia draping herself across Chuck and his console.
Dr's Beckett and Keller had a hard time examining Rodney as he spent half his time in the infirmary trying to kiss various nurses and the other half bemoaning the “voodoo” that was medicine. Half an hour later, while they were puzzling out a foreign particle in Rodney's bloodstream, Rodney was making out with a 6ft tall, well muscled, medic. A male medic.
Rodney was confined to the isolation room, while Dr Keller reported to the gate room in the aftermath of a scuffle between Amelia and several of the on duty marines.
It spread quickly after that, unconstrained by the movements of infected people.
In the lab, Zelenka had a moment to wonder why the contamination controls hadn't kicked in before being distracted by Miko, then Simpson, then locking himself in a closet when Kavanaugh came into the lab.
Beckett hypothesised it was a highly contagious but mostly harmless virus, much to Rodney's derision. “What have you been doing all this time?” to which Carson had the good grace to blush. Rodney threw his hands in the air and discharged himself.
The mess hall was a seething pile of lust. Major Lorne kissed his way down the line of people waiting for food. Teyla was greeting everyone who entered with the traditional Athosian greeting; which consisted of an iron grip on the shoulders, a tiniest of nudge to the head, and her tongue down the recipients throat. Even Mr Woolsey was not immune, he was seen returning from the balcony, lipstick on his face and his uniform ruffled.
When it seemed that everyone had kissed just about everyone else, Rodney caved and dialled P2X-491. He went alone, Sheppard would have had a fit if he wasn't in storage, counting ordinance with Stackhouse.
The villagers greeted him with open arms, explaining that of course they had a cure, didn't they say to have all the jarra root Atlantis needed.
Returning with two sackfuls of dirty, phallic looking, green carrot things, Rodney spent the next few hours wrestling off Carson along with helping him to make the cure into something they could easily distribute.
Armed with loaded syringes and marine escorts it took the medical staff just over three hours to stop the virus.
Life returned to normal in Atlantis. Nobody mentioned the sudden addition of eight man teams of marines on weekly harvesting trips to P2X-491, and no one, under any circumstances, ever complained about the amount of green carrots served in the mess.