Comments | sga_flashfic: Voyeurism Challenge: Obsideo by Brighid

mz_bstone in sga_flashfic

Voyeurism Challenge: Obsideo by Brighid

May 14, 2005 09:04

Challenge: Voyeurism
Title: Obsideo
Spoilers: None, really
Rating: PG
Author: Brighid
Summary: pulse, breath, salt, longing
Note: Late, due to week from hell. And yet I still get to post!

( Read more... )

challenge: voyeurism, author: mz_bstone

Comments 23

mmmchelle May 14 2005, 16:27:26 UTC

This was a very cool story. Very cool.

scrollgirl May 14 2005, 16:50:36 UTC

Typo ;) nightstong of small insects But the phrase is just gorgeous.

I thought the male was Sheppard at first, but it's not, is it?

the many smallnesses that have made of her a multitude

Love this line too... If I quoted all the lines I loved, I would copy pretty much the whole story! Just beautiful, Brighid :)

cofax7 May 14 2005, 17:07:22 UTC

Aahhhh.

Oh, beautiful, and dense.

He and she aren't humans from Earth or Atlantis, are they? They're ascended Ancients. I think.

Gorgeous.

mz_bstone May 14 2005, 17:09:50 UTC

Yes.

She's the ghost in the machine of Atlantis.

And if you let it come, you'll know who everyone else is.

B

cofax7 May 14 2005, 17:22:40 UTC

Okay, now it's a puzzle.

Then this one he brushes and her mind is perfectly composed: the precise lines folding, paper into birds flying into something sweet and warm and secret.
Elizabeth? Unless it's your paper-crane-folding character whose name I've forgotten. Miko?

This one's mouth is hungry for a taste of something ... tea steeped dark and sweet with milk and sugar. He wants it like the last one longed to be kissed.
Errr. Carson, I guess, since it's McKay and Sheppard at the end.

This one is cold and circles slowly like hunting fish, watching everything, waiting for blood in the water, but at the heart of him there's heat.
Bates.

This one is bright, like combustion, all energy and spark and so very new and he watches another dancing, his body pulsing with hers, longing as she twists and dances and lunges and he slides loose and...
Ford.

she is perfect stillness, just this moment strung to the next but no further. She moves and each movement was meant but utterly unplanned and she dances like the stars he's watched, new born ( ... )

mz_bstone May 14 2005, 21:58:47 UTC

yup. Elizabeth is the very first, with coffee, them Miko and so on.

All I have to offer is my admiration. *g*

B

Thread 5

theseashore May 14 2005, 17:38:12 UTC

I loved this, and I'd love to hear how you got "here." Where did it start? An idea? A picture? Sound?

thecomfychair May 14 2005, 18:14:00 UTC

he touches her ghost inside the metal shell she'd chosen when the rest of them had floated free. Together they curl into one another and remember: pulse, breath, salt, longing.

This time she calls and her voice is chorus, a hum like the nightsong of small insects underlying her summons.
this was beautiful ,I love the idea of the..spirit(? I guess you would call it) of Atlantis "living" and experiencing through the expedition.