This is very powerful, both in the style you use (the way you use language as a continuous train of thought in John's head) and in the punch at the end.
Somewhere, in a galaxy far, far away, a three-years-from-retirement junior high math teacher and his homemaker wife are going about their day just outside Terre Haute, completely unaware of the fact that John Sheppard has just ruined their quiet, law-abiding lives.
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Oh, man, this is so powerful and heartbreaking.
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