Remember Paul Van Riper, by paradise_city

[paradise_city]

Title: Remember Paul Van Riper
Pairing: McKay/Brown, McKay/Sheppard
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 7700
Challenge: Sickness
Summary: There's more than one battlefield on which to play a war game.

Comments

[springwoof]

Well done and interesting. I liked the McShep byplay, but I really liked the background "life on Atlantis" stuff. I liked the relationship between Sheppard and Lorne, between them and the marines. I liked the flag war and Zelenka's part in it & McKay's sudden generalship.

neat story! A sequel would be cool if you get so inspired...

[paradise_city]

Thanks! I love the everyday stuff, and while Sunday was great, I wish we got to see more of it woven into the episodes. I figure if I can't see it, I can at least write it, and I'm glad it real well for you.

And Zelenka was totally one of my favorite bits. The image of him declaring himself (in all seriousness, too) Max Payne still makes me giggle. :)

[lilac_way]

This was just a lovely, lovely read. I enjoyed it very much.

[paradise_city]

Thanks. Glad you enjoyed it. :)

[bluebrocade]

Very nice. I enjoyed this a lot.

[paradise_city]

Thanks for reading. Glad you liked it. :)

[in_interval]

Oh what a wonderful story. So much fun and you do such a terrific job with John (and everyone else - I adored Lorne in particular). Thank you!

[paradise_city]

Thanks! John's always hard for me to pin down, so I'm glad the characterization worked for you. And Lorne, so much love! He's one of my favorites.

[cesperanza]

Awwww! I loved them SO MUCH in this, but I have to strangle you just a little for not taking me all the way to the payoff!--I want orgasms, dammit! (For them, if not for me!) But wow, scarily note perfect characterization.

[paradise_city]

I'm sure John gets his man (he's just that kind of guy, y'know?), but I'll leave the porn to those who do it better.

And thanks for the comment on characterization. It's hard to write McKay/Sheppard (mostly Sheppard) that reads as believable -- a lot of fic just assumes the reader will grant the premise that two canonically straight men can and will end up together. And while that's the foundation of slash, I read a lot of fic that leaves me thinking, "Wow, that was great," but feels like it was written about a slightly different Sheppard and McKay than we see on the show. I was aiming for the believability, and while I don't know if it's really possible to achieve, good characterization is a step in the right direction.

So, a long-winded way of saying thanks. :)

[cesperanza]

Ha; well, that's kind of hilarious, because I was going to comment "It's not just like the show; it's TOO MUCH like the show," in that the show, too, routinely denies me orgasms of the more literal kind. *g* I do think that most fanfic is written about a different McShep than the on=screen one, though I don't have a problem with that; I think there's a Platonic McShep from which all earthly forms, including the TV canon, are derived, so I'm okay with translating upward toward that ideal. That being said, I admire your project, which is to get the television McShep on the page in a way that will likely lead to a relationship; I think you did it, and that it demonstrates wonderful finesse.

[paradise_city]

I think there's a Platonic McShep from which all earthly forms, including the TV canon, are derived, so I'm okay with translating upward toward that ideal.

Translating upward -- that's a great way of putting it, and some great fuel for meta. Thanks so much for mentioning that.

I admire your project, which is to get the television McShep on the page in a way that will likely lead to a relationship...

Those are always the fics that stay with me, the ones that lead you from A to Z so seamlessly you can't remember how you got there. And that's how it works in real life, a series of incremental changes where the sum of the whole is more than the sum of the parts. Those fics are just magic.