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Comments 62

20thcenturyvole May 5 2006, 08:08:33 UTC
Yikes. I love the structure - but John! Dear God, ouch!

I comfort myself imagining all the comfort that's coming after this hurt. Wow, what a great answer to the challenge.

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kbk May 5 2006, 08:41:06 UTC
I only hurt him out of love. Really. Thank you very much.

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kittyfisher May 5 2006, 08:48:31 UTC
Unusual structure, stark and sparse and just so painful. Thank you. I'm curious, how do you see him reacting to all this? How it affects him?

And, just curious, would they give him painkillers for an opiate type withdrawal? I can imagine Carson making Day Twenty-Three almost as bad as the previous Twenty-Two until he knew exactly what John had been given! Hope you don't mind me asking, it's not a criticism, just a question, as yes, I really did love the story...

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kbk May 5 2006, 09:26:23 UTC
Oh, thank you! I don't mind questions in the least, it's cool.

Good question, as to the painkillers - I don't really know what the medical procedure would be, but I'm thinking they'd be concentrating on relieving the symptoms, especially since there isn't a psychological addiction to deal with. And they could run a ton of blood tests to see what John had been given, but really, they're not gonna have any of it, they don't really have an option other than cold turkey, which would be nasty as hell even with assorted prescriptions. So.

The sparseness isn't my usual style, but I've used it once before and discovered just how effective it is for evil.

As to John's reaction... honestly, I think he'd repress and move on and work very hard to at least appear as if it hadn't affected him in the slightest, and eventually come to believe that. Because he's a stubborn bastard, god love him.

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spacebabe May 5 2006, 10:04:07 UTC
Wow. So very stark and so very well written! Even though it's probably mostly the drugs, it's heartbreaking to see how he bounces between wanting to be rescued and thinking he doesn't deserve to be (but part of me thinks some of it has to be all John). Wonderful and gripping. Thanks for sharing.

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kbk May 5 2006, 11:02:00 UTC
Oh, I was hoping... I'm glad the John worked, and thank you very much for commenting!

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(The comment has been removed)

kbk May 5 2006, 11:02:33 UTC
Thank you kindly.

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etben May 5 2006, 12:47:02 UTC
oh, wow. This is creepy and sad and so very, very John. Excellent job!

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kbk May 5 2006, 18:12:38 UTC
Oh, thank you! I worry about my John, so I'm glad this worked.

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