Strange Attractors by Zoe Rayne (slave challenge)

[z_rayne]

Title: Strange Attractors
Pairing: Sheppard/McKay
Rating: NC-17
Challenge: sga_flashfic - slave challenge

Summary: Of all the things he'd wanted but been sure he'd never get, John Sheppard was at the top of the list.

A/N: This is a darker take on the scenario I wrote in Icing on the Cake. You should probably read Icing first, if only so the set-up makes

Comments

[the_moonmoth]

While I have a couple of problems with the content, I still think this is a very powerful story, and beautifully written. There are some real gut punches in there,I esp liked the scene with Teyla on the balcony, and I love the last line.

[z_rayne]

Thank you so much for your comments. I'd be interested to hear your problems with the content, if you're willing to share them; I'm always up for concrit.

[the_moonmoth]

Cool. I'll email you when I've had a chance to re-read and sort of... formulate into coherent scentences ;)

[z_rayne]

Looking forward to it. (I've got an automated challenge/response spam blocker on my email, just so you know. You should only have to deal with it once.)

[z_rayne]

I'm curious to see how John and Rodney get through this.

Slowly, a minute and an hour and a day at a time, I suspect.

Thank you so much for your comments.

[amothea]

Wow, I loved your other version but this one is definately my favorite. but I've always liked darker stories, when they are well written. Anyway this one sent shivers down my spine and I'll probably end up re-reading it twenty times if not more.

great story

[z_rayne]

I'm really flattered; I'm glad you liked it so much.

[sweeneybird]

"As the doors slid closed with a tiny mechanical sigh, Rodney thought maybe he felt something inside his chest break apart."

and

"Slowly Rodney's arms came up around him, hands tentative and light on his back like John was going to break, or maybe explode, and the gesture wasn't much.

It was just everything."

I think you broke me. Wow.

[z_rayne]

*tries to put you back together*
Is it wrong that I like to get that kind of feedback? Am I bad for wanting people to feel just as broken as John and Rodney after they finish reading? God knows *I* felt that broken after I finished writing it....

Thank you so much for your comments.

[sweeneybird]

no, not at all! I love reading a story that hits me viscerally and this one certainly did.

[sweeneybird]

and please don't fix them - it would diminish them both.

[z_rayne]

Like I said in response to someone earlier on, I don't know that they can be fixed--at least not easily. Much as I want them to be happy and cuddly. *cries*