Fic: It's a Kind of Magic, but there is absolutely no scientific proof! (2/2) (McKay/Sheppard, Adult
Title: It's a Kind of Magic, but there is absolutely no scientific proof!
Author: scarlettandblue
Recipient: Popkin16
Pairing: John and Rodney and a couple of other guys maybe
Rating: Adult (for a lot of swearing)
Disclaimer: I don't own anything except a big minus figure on my credit card which you are welcome to if you want to take it, it all still belongs to MGM.
Author's note: I hope you like it.
Summary: It's like a little bit of SG1 and a big bit of Atlantis met and had a child they called Harlequin, whose favourite TV show was Firefly.
( It's a Kind of Magic, but there is absolutely no scientific proof! - Part 1 of 2 )
---
As Teyla. O'Neill and Carson joined them in the circle, along with two of the Consul's guards Simmin stepped away from John.
The rings swooshed and they found themselves in a very grand corridor. There was peach coloured marble floors, soft ambient lighting and the strains of gentle music seemed to float towards them. It dawned on John that their ship was docked in the working part of the space-port. The place where they unloaded cargo and emptied the tanks and mended the engines. But this must be where rich people parked their fancy cruisers.
"If you care to look out here, you will see your prize."
Simmin was standing by a large port, John joined him and looked out. It was probably the single most beautiful spacecraft he had ever seen. Sleek and darkly glittering like a field of stars, with sweeping wings and a fierce, dangerous look.
"Join us when you are ready, Captain Sheppard, but while you wait consider this. Maybe what you fear most is another having power over you. But even if it is less painful, to avoid entanglements, is it not also terribly lonely? Perhaps you should ask General O'Neil if he regrets making similar choices, because even if second chances awaiting us around the corner is it not better to make the correct choice in the first place?"
John stared out at his new ship. He could feel it from there. The systems, the engines, the weapons, a myriad of ancient technology calling to him to turn it on, light it up, to give it purpose and let it fly. And he wanted to, he really really wanted to fly it, because he knew how sweet it would be. He could feel how perfect it was. And he was afraid if he waited too long O'Neill would get fed up and just barge in there and sweet-talk John's beautiful ship into flying for him instead.
It was just that he hated it when he felt he was being outsmarted by wise all-knowing aliens. Simmin was as bad as Teyla at telling the uncomfortable truth. Although technically since he had been born in Pegasus Galaxy John was an alien here too.
Eventually he couldn't wait any longer. John already knew what he was going to do, because even if he didn't like it, he knew it was inevitable.
---
Once John set foot inside he realised that the cruiser was even more beautiful than he had imagined. And it opened up like a dark, dangerous flower. The hyper-drive engines were more powerful than any John had seen, there drones and energy cannons and even a transport beam. The data archive was huge and John could only imagine how excited the geeks back on Atlantis were going to be when they got hold of it. Zelenka would probably spontaneously combust.
Eventually John realised he was putting off the inevitable.
He turned round to ask where he needed to go and found Simmin right behind him.
"If you come with me, I'll introduce you to the companion."
As Simmin led him away from the others, John felt like a character in a book, like he wasn't quite real, like this wasn't really happening. And he tried once more to get out of the whole thing. "Now we're alone, no one will be able to hear what we're saying," and John thought very hard about placing a sound deadening field around the ship, "please, can we find another way for us to prove we can be good allies? Something that isn't this?"
Simmin stopped and his shoulders sagged a little, but then he took a deep breath and when he turned his head and looked at John his expression was serious, a little annoyed even, "What are you afraid of here?"
"I'm not....It's not that...."
"I have already reassured you, there is no coercion. Is it that you must bond with a male?"
"What? No! That's not it.!"
"Good, because I am an excellent judge of character and I was convinced soon after meeting you that you are a lover of men. So what is it? Tell me, because I have grown tired of this argument. Although why it should surprise me that you are as contrary as the rest of your kind I do not know."
"The rest of my kind?"
Simmin was clearly annoyed now, but he took a deep breath, let it out, and said through only slightly gritted teeth, "People from earth are notorious for their war-like, argumentative, contrary natures. And earth people have a uniquely idiosyncratic way of speaking, which you and General O'Neil share, even if your accents are subtly different. From this I deduce that you have been separated from your home world for some time, and therefore I have concluded that you are from the lost colony of Atlantis. You have been sent back to this galaxy to discover the fate of the earth after you lost touch with them over forty earth years ago."
"!!...."
"Do not attempt to deny it, Captain. But now that you realise I know everything, please tell me what it is that you fear?"
"I er..."
"What could be so terrible that you cannot even say it?"
"Commitment. Okay, that's what I fear."
"Hhmmm, tell me more. Were you abandoned by your mother? Is your father a cold and domineering man? Do you think everyone is spreading vicious rumours about you that are just perceptive enough to make them horrifyingly close to the truth?"
"I just don't do commitment."
"Unless it involves your ship or your crew or the mission that brought you here?"
"That's different."
Simmin paused, his hand raised towards the control on the door in front of him, and said, "Then consider that this now part of your mission. This is the only way he will be able to go with you. It is his only means of escape. I have managed to keep him safe here, but it is only a matter of time, Someone will come along with enough influence to force my hand. Or he will finally annoy someone so powerful I will be unable to protect him. He is a difficult and annoying man. He is also brave and brilliant, and he needs someone to help him, someone to give him a chance. I believe he deserves that chance." And with that he opened the door and shoved John inside.
It felt to John like he was reeling with shock. The knowledge that Simmin knew who they were, where they were from, that he had been protecting them, as well as the companion was buzzing in his head. Added to that was the nasty squirming feeling in his gut that he always got when someone cornered him and made him talk about his feelings.
He was also wondering just how he was going to deal with this man. He was certainly annoying, John recalled his constant interruptions the night before. And difficult? Well he had seen a certain wilfulness in the set of mouth, the jut of his chin. Brilliant, yes he probably was brilliant because he had come up with this plan.
There was one thing that was confusing John though, as he stared down. He could have sworn his hair had been longer. But then again he had only seen it for a few moments when the man had thrown his hood back. And he had been looking at him face on. He hadn't been looking at the back of his head. He hadn't known his hair was shorn close at the back to reveal that pale vulnerable skin at the nape. He hadn't been looking down on him. The man hadn't been kneeling,
Like he was now, kneeling at John's feet.
But it was wrong. He shouldn't be kneeling. John didn't want someone kneeling, it was just wrong. "This isn't right..... You shouldn't.... You don't have to kneel. God, get up. Just please. Please get up."
John reached down to help him to his feet, but his hand was shrugged off..
John had known, he'd just known how this was going to go and he couldn't deal with it. All his life he'd had to guard against this. The Sheppards were admired on Atlantis. Well people admired his father, the General, and his older brother David. Especially since David had become the youngest person ever to become a city administrator.
Then there was the gene, everyone wanted in on the bloodline. So John had always been very popular. But he had gradually come to realise something. People really liked the idea of John Sheppard the General's son, and they loved the idea of joining an important family. There had been a couple of times when fathers had practically thrown their daughters at him, eager for a grandchild who would be part of the pre-eminent bloodline. But the strange part was, even though these people had loved the idea of who John was or what being associated with him meant, after a time it became obvious they didn't really like the actual John Sheppard.
And once he joined a gateship team it just got worse. People rescued from culling were grateful. Happy to be alive and wanting to affirm they were alive, that they had escaped, was a natural response. Grabbing hold of the guy who rescued you, just because he was the guy who rescued you was also perfectly understandable. But as the guy who had done the rescuing John knew he was responsible for not taking advantage.
The same was true when they visited worlds where having the gene, where being able to work some piece of Ancient tech conferred on you the status of a God. Because over the centuries people had lost their knowledge of what the item was, and had simply come to revere because it had been left there by The Ancients. But as the guy who came along with the power to make that Ancient toaster-oven light up, or get the blinky lights to flash on blinky light panel number three, John had a responsibility not to take an advantage.
And John took that responsibility very seriously, so he tried once more. It was a version of a speech he had been forced to make on oh so many other awkward occasions, "Look, you don't have to do this. I'm nothing special, you don't owe me anything, I mean I'm here to... Please just stop with the kneeling thing will you?"
And that must have done the trick because he stood up, glared at John, and said, "I was tying my shoelace! What is wrong with you?"
And John was startled into silence. He had been expecting blue eyes, and that sure was a pair of possibly the bluest eyes he'd ever seen. Blue eyes that were sparking with irritation. Blue eyes that held a fierce intelligence. They just weren't the blue eyes he had been expecting. It wasn't the man from the night before. It was someone else completely.
John was confused, "I thought, I was ... er expecting... that is we met last night!"
"I've never laid eyes on you!"
"I thought I was supposed to be...that this was uhh... is he here?"
"Is who here? Are you drunk?"
"No, I'm just...confused. I must have the wrong room."
"Well don't let me keep you, I'm expecting someone."
John turned to leave, scrabbling at the controls when the door didn't automatically open for him. But it was locked shut and wouldn't budge. "It won't open."
"Here let me, you're obviously are too drunk to work it."
He manhandled John aside and flipped open the panel on the door mechanism, muttering to himself. "God where do they find these people?"
Close to, John noticed his broad shoulders, and that his arms were well defined. It made John feel strange to realise how easily he had been moved aside. John was still close enough to notice that he smelt of soap and coffee and something else. Something indefinable that made John want to bite the pale skin on one of those well-defined biceps just to learn how it tasted. He realised his is throat was suddenly dry and he swallowed hard
"Are you going to be ill?"
John shook his head.
"Only I warn you, I don't cope well with anyone being sick."
"I'm.." John cleared his throat and tried for a more manly pitch, "I'm fine, it's just a little warm in here."
"if you say so."
John watched as strong, pale fingers poked and prodded at the innards of the door mechanism. He didn't understand what was going on. "So, you work on the ship?"
Blue eyes glared up at him, lips pressed tightly together, then he lowered his head again to concentrate on the exposed filaments and crystals inside the control panel. John noticed his lashes were surprisingly long. John's throat was unaccountably dry again as he swallowed. Maybe there was something wrong with him.
John knew he was acting weird, noticing broad shoulders and long eyelashes. Not that noticing them was itself weird because he had seen beautiful women and good looking guys before, he'd even slept with a few. But that had been casual, lustful for sure, but still casual. This was NOTICING block capitals, blaring klaxons can't take your eyes off that mole on the back of his neck, the one ideally placed to be kissed or licked or just generally nuzzled, simply because it was a perfect little mole on the back of his neck. "That's definitely not right."
"Look, do you actually want to get out of here?"
John dragged his focus back from trying to fathom what part of this stranger's anatomy to compose a sonnet to next and said, "I should want to..... there's something I have to do. But honestly? Not so much."
"Well then stop trying to tell me how to do this. I know how to do this, okay? I know how to do everything!"
"I never said a word. And you do not know how to do everything."
"I do so know how to do everything, well everything that matters, and you were watching as I moved the conductive filaments to bypass the locking mechanism and you said, I quote that's definitely not right."
John was pretty sure he hadn't said anything aloud.
"And please, you don't honestly think a grown man is going to win an argument by pouting do you?"
"I am not pouting! And I didn't say that out loud either."
"I think I understand your strategy now. If you can't pout your way to victory move to phase two, deny everything. Very mature...Ouch fuck..!!!"
John pulled him away from the panel amid a shower of sparks and a puff of acrid smoke. "Are you okay?"
"Yes, yes." He was sucked his fingers and then blew on them, "This is very odd, I don't understand why the door won't just unlock. It's almost as if someone were standing outside holding the lock mechanism down. You didn't notice anyone out there did you, when you came in?"
John could see his fingers weren't burned, they were just as pale as before but now they were also glistening and wet. John swallowed again. He was close enough again to smell coffee and soap and that other indefinable delicious.... A sharp jab in his ribs startled him.
"I said did you see anyone out there when you came in."
John took a breath,
"Did you just sniff me!"
"What? No. I was breathing."
John received a narrow eyed glare and he noticed the way one corner of that expressive mouth turned down, like its default setting was slightly unhappy. It was quirky and not unattractive but it made John feel a little sad somehow. And it made him want to...
"Will you stop that!"
"I'm..." John didn't really know what to say because maybe there was something odd going on. "Maybe there is something wrong."
"What?"
"With me, something wrong."
"Oh there's no doubt something is wrong with you, for a start you keep sniffing me!"
"But that's not normal."
"I'll say."
"For me, it's not normal for me. But I have to do this thing, and it's freaking me out, and Simmin knows too much and then shoved me and..."
"Wait a minute, did you say Simmin?"
"Yes."
"Short guy with incredibly crazy hair."
"Well, I suppose his hair is a little messy."
"That sneaky, interfering little half-Nox."
"Nox?"
"His father, or maybe grandfather, I don't remember exactly. How else did you think he came by hair like that?"
"I've never actually seen a Nox, you know, so I thought maybe it was just a whole bunch of cowlicks."
"Cowlicks?"
"It can happen."
"So you're him then? John Sheppard from Atlantis. Why didn't you say? This is fascinating. You're obviously already feeling the effects of the bond."
"I..." John was reeling from the changes of direction the conversation had taken, as well as the realisation that here was a second person who knew where they were from.
"Oh, just come here."
And then John was being kissed.
But there were things, important things John needed to know so he tried to say "I don't..." but there was kissing. "Even.." And more kissing. "know."
And then kissing was followed by hands, warm, insistent hands in his hair, on his back, up under his shirt against his bare skin, down the front of his pants as they undid his fly, and John was trying to help because this was crazy insane but he wanted it, Oh God he wanted it so much it felt like he might turn inside out.
Then there was more kissing and then unbelievable heat and wet heat and suction and John realised that he had clearly never had a proper blowjob before. Because nothing had ever felt that good. He couldn't help it, he grabbed hold and just shoved himself into that hot, tight, wet place. The soft-hard, shivery texture of tongue sliding along the underside of his dick was an indescribably delicious, shivery feeling. Once. Twice he pushed in and then slowly pulled back. The third time when he pushed in he seemed to sink and sink into that glorious heat and texture and sensation forever, and he was just gone. There was nothing more. He came so hard it almost hurt and then he slumped into his head-buzzing, free falling best place ever, post-orgasm afterglow.
Some time later John realised someone was stroking the hair on his belly, up the wrong way then smoothing it back down again, up the wrong way then smoothing it back. John had always felt uncomfortable about just how much body hair he had. And he was particularly sensitive about that line of hair arrowing down from his bellybutton. Maybe someone had once called him a Neanderthal or something when they had seen it, so normally he would squirm away from this kind of touch. But this stroking was a strange mixture of ticklish and exciting and it made John's toes flex and curl in pleasure.
"You're just like my cat."
The stroking continued.
John lifted his head and looked down his body. He had heard of cats and although he'd never seen one he was pretty sure they did not look like this.
His shirt was still buttoned but it was rucked up under his armpits. His pants were undone and shoved down off his hips and had bunched around the top of this thighs. He realised he should feel stupid and exposed and kind of awkward. That had certainly been the case the only other time he'd ever done anything even remotely like this. And that time he'd still known the person, he hadn't just jumped the bones of a total stranger within five minutes of meeting them. Instead this was different. He felt warm and relaxed and still faintly euphoric. It was a pretty great feeling. Still, John knew he should say something, but he couldn't think how to start. "Huh."
Blue eyes looked up at him. He looked mostly very pleased with himself, but there was that slight downturn at the corner of his mouth again as he said,
"Huh what?"
"I don't even know who you are."
"Of course you do!"
"I've never done anything like that ."
"I'd assume not."
"You don't seem bothered."
"Oh I'm bothered, in ways you can't even begin to imagine."
And bam! There it was. Stupid awkward exposure. John tired to curl up and away. He could feel his face burning with a dull embarrassed heat.
Strong hands held him in place, "Where are you going?"
John felt like he couldn't look anyone in the eye so he shut his own eyes and tried to turn his face away.
"What's the matter?" A palm cupped his cheek and stopped him from turning away. It was gentle but firm enough that he couldn't fight it.
"You're bothered by this, what I did. I don't understand why I lost it like that."
"Didn't Simmin explain anything about the bond?"
"Well sure, but what's that got to do with.... He said.... isn't the companion the one who's supposed to.... You're a companion?"
"Charming. Yes I'm a companion. We're not all floppy haired archeologists you know!"
"But you weren't all," John waved his hand trying to describe the shape of how he'd imagined an obedient and submissive companion might behave, without being so overtly offensive that if Teyla were present she would feel the need to beat him to the ground with her Bantos rods.
"Oh you thought that did you? Well, sorry to shatter your sordid fantasy, but companions aren't some kind of porno cliché. As to why it affected you as it did, I just assumed you were some kind of..."
John cut him off before he could finish, and said, "I'm not some kind of intergalactic slut, okay?"
"I was going to say highly repressed individual, but... "
"No that's fine." Then changing the subject quickly John asked, "So how come I never heard of this bond thing?"
"Because they created it for us."
"Who?"
"People from earth. The exiles. Scientists who knew too much and couldn't limit their thinking, who couldn't forget once they'd seen the beauty of the event horizon and refused to lie. Great scientific minds whose intellect shouldn't be chained to one planet, not with all this out here to discover. I think they realised that they owed us something for essentially ruining our lives for the greater good. It's a kind of protection. "
"Oh, I think I just got a joke I heard yesterday, you're an astrophysicist, right?"
"I have a feeling I don't want to hear that joke, and yes one of my doctorates was astrophysics."
"It figures you'd have more than one. But you still didn't answered the question I asked, genius. Who created it?"
"The Nox, of course. They don't usually interfere. It's against their prime directive or something. So they felt guilty that the one time the did interfere there were unforeseen repercussions. As to what they did, as much as it pains me to say it, even I don't understand anything The Nox actually do, so I might just as well say they cast a spell on us to create The Bond."
"Prime Directive, isn't that from Star Trek? It's so cool you know that show. Did they make a second series of it? I always hoped they had, but most people seem to think it bombed."
"I have no words for how bizarre this conversation is. You don't seem bothered that you've essentially been enchanted, but you go all fannish over Star Trek. And I can't believe you even had Star Trek on Atlantis."
"Yeah, we had all the up to date TV shows, films and music as well. Entertainment was considered to be a priority. Even in the early days a large number of people were based there, and I think they were worried people would all go crazy and kill themselves if they didn't have ways of relaxing."
"Yes but Star Trek? Talk about irony. I suppose you had The Twilight Zone and Dr Who as well."
"Of course we have The Twilight Zone, but I've never heard of that other one."
"Never heard of... Hhmm, must be the timing, if Daniel were here he'd be dancing with glee over cultural influences or parallel development or some other mumbo-jumbo he seems to have mistaken for actual science."
"Daniel?" John tried to sit up. He didn't know who the fuck Daniel was but he sure as didn't like the idea of him hanging around his companion.
"Oh behave." John was shoved back down. "It's just the bond. The feelings of extreme jealousy will fade quickly to normal levels, at least that's the theory. It probably means it's either time for me to fuck you into stupidity to make it permanent, or let you go so it can fade to nothing."
John felt something deep inside him shrivel up and die, leaving a painful empty space. "You want to let me go?"
"No, because I'm essentially a selfish man. But maybe it's what I should do."
John shook his head, it wasn't what he wanted but he didn't say anything because what could he say? Everyone who slept with him wanted to let him go, sooner or later.
"I'll explain how it works and leave it up to you. When we were exiled we ended up on the Nox home world, it's an okay place if you like trees. Most of us didn't though but the problem was no one willing to claim us.
"For some reason earth people have this unjustified reputation of being difficult. So we had no protection. Because even if the system lords are mostly destroyed, and the Ori have been banished to another realm, there are still some bad bad people out here in the galaxy. The problem is a lot of people have heard of earth and it's huge resources, and it's lost colony in Atlantis. Anyone greedy and unscrupulous might think that capturing a few earth scientists could give them an edge, a way to circumvent the restrictions placed on the earth that made it a no go area.
"So the Nox cooked up the bond. I suppose they were desperate to get rid of the bunch of bored scientists who were roaming all over their home-world and trying to find a way into their cloud city so they could figure out how everything worked. They sent us to The guild of Companions, but we were bonded to The Nox until someone more suitable came along.
"I know it doesn't sound like much, but believe me no one goes against the Nox. They can be where ever they want to be in the blink of an eye. They can send you to the other end of the galaxy too, just as quickly. They have shields, and if you die they can bring you back, and not in the bad, soul-destroying-evil-sarcophagus way either."
"You've died? Who tried to kill you?" John was pretty sure that even when the bond faded and he was kicked to the curb he would make it his business to find whoever had done it and teach them why it was a bad idea to mess with his companion.
"I've had severe allergies all my life, citrus, especially lemon and beestings. I recently discovered a new allergy, certain types of alien tree-sap."
"Oh."
"Yes, so, it was another reason for The Nox to help us out, seeing as their planet accidentally killed me seven times. So we left and we've been travelling from world to world with Simmin. He keeps being appointed as the Nox ambassador on different worlds. Then Pitrok brought a piece of Daniel's contract so he's been tagging along with us. Of course we know what he's up to, The Lucian Alliance is full of crooks and thieves, but at least if he's right there we can keep an eye on him. Daniel is brilliant at holding him at bay but keeping him just interested enough to stick around. Of course we'll have to figure out some way of getting him free of that contract before I leave. Except you probably won't want to take me once you understand. But maybe you could bond with him instead. He's probably more your type, and Atlantis is his dream you know."
John didn't like that downward turn on his companion's mouth, and the light seemed to have died out of his eyes too, as he began to pull away.
"Yes it is probably for the best if you go and find Daniel. I don't really know what Simmin was thinking sending you to me in the first place. I'll just. Yes I'll let you go." He pushed himself up from where he had been lying, head resting on John's shoulder.
In the past John would have agreed to go. After all that was his usual morning after the night before routine. But the minute he felt the delicious heat all along the right hand side of his body begin to move away he instinctively tightened his arms and pulled him back, entangling his legs as well, just to make it more impossible for him to get up.
"You didn't tell me what it does. You said what it was, but you didn't say what the bond does."
"It's stupid."
John squeezed him so tight he practically squeaked. "Let me go you oaf!"
"Tell me what it does."
"It's fate, okay. It protects me until I find my happily ever after. I told you it's a spell!" He practically spit the last word out.
"So you'd put out for anyone who would take you to Atlantis? Same with this Daniel?"
"Atlantis is all he dreams of ."
"What about me? If these Nox are the good guys, wouldn't their spell care about my fate too? My happily ever after?"
There was no answer. When John looked down all he could see was the top of his head because his face was pressed hard against his side.
So John said, "See you arrived at a solution but you don't have all the facts. Isn't that frowned on by proper scientists?"
And sure enough that received a full on glare, sparks of ire glinting in those blue depths, and a sharp response, "I know everything relevant, and I'm trying to do the descent thing here! Trying to be the bigger man. So keep that in mind why don't you before you go accusing me of whatever it is you seem to think I've done."
John's smile was obnoxious on purpose as he continued, "See if this was just about Atlantis and you say Atlantis is Daniel's only dream then the bond thing would already be a done deal. Because I met this other companion twice last night, and he told me he had a contract with Pitrok."
"You met Daniel? Wait a minute, you said you were looking for someone else when you first arrived. You were looking for him? I knew this was too good to be true!"
"I was expecting him, yes."
"So go and find him!" And there was another struggle but John had been expecting it so he just held on tight. Because John had an idea, and even if it sounded stupid and impossible inside his own head, he'd still be a fool to let go.
"You're using faulty logic again, genius. I met Daniel twice. But nothing happened. No Bond. No mind shattering blow job. Nothing. Zilch. So come on, there's still some vital data missing from this equation. If the bond is just about getting what you want, and if as you say all Daniel wants is to go to Atlantis, then his bond would have been all over me like white on rice."
"Yes okay there is one other thing. But it's a spell! And it's a complete myth. Dreamed up by romance novelists, country and western song writers and people who write teenaged vampire novels."
"What is?"
"True love, soul mates, fate. That perfect someone who loves you just the way you are." He shuddered in John's arms and spat out a final word "Destiny!"
John couldn't help it he started to laugh, it just kind of burst out of him.
"Are you having a seizure? Seriously? That is your laugh? I mean when I first saw your hair and I got a closer look at your ears I thought there might have been a little Nox somewhere in your ancestry, but now I'm thinking it was more likely a little donkey."
John glared at him but now they were both laughing as he said, "So you love me just the way I am?"
"Apart from that laugh, even your great grandfather the donkey would struggle to love that.
"I thought you said I had a little Nox in me?"
"There had better not have been any little Nox's in you. I am a very jealous and vindictive man." And he squeezed John so hard he nearly saw stars. Then he kissed him until he actually did see stars.
Eventually he let John up for air, and after he caught his breath John said, "Wow you really do love me! But there is just one thing."
"What now?"
"It's kind of weird seeing as we've gonna hook up forever."
"We are?"
"Aren't we. Fate, destiny, soul mates, remember?"
"Yes okay, we're headed for a happily ever after. Happy now?"
"I will be, once I know what your name is."
"What? You don't even know my name!"
"I can just keep referring to you as my obedient companion if you prefer."
"Dr M,R, McKay."
"Isn't that a little formal for a soul mate?"
"I go by Rodney. So are we done with the talking now? Can we get on with the...." He waved his right hand as if trying to describe the shape some fantastic happily-ever-after sex.
"Yep we're done."
Then there was more kissing.
The End.
Almost.
In another part of the ship Consul Simmin was leading General O'Neill down a corridor. They stopped at a door and the consul turned to the General and said, "Tell me General, do you believe in fate? Destiny? Soul mates? Magic as a solution to the troubling and unexpected consequences of a mostly successful military intervention?"
"I'm more of a shoot the troubling consequences kind of guy, you know?"
"Oh well nobody's perfect. But perhaps you could try and keep your weapon holstered until I introduce you to someone who has an interesting viewpoint on the matter."
Simmin knocked on the door then opened it and said, "Dr Jackson I have someone here I think have been waiting for.
And that is definitely the end.
Author: scarlettandblue
Recipient: Popkin16
Pairing: John and Rodney and a couple of other guys maybe
Rating: Adult (for a lot of swearing)
Disclaimer: I don't own anything except a big minus figure on my credit card which you are welcome to if you want to take it, it all still belongs to MGM.
Author's note: I hope you like it.
Summary: It's like a little bit of SG1 and a big bit of Atlantis met and had a child they called Harlequin, whose favourite TV show was Firefly.
( It's a Kind of Magic, but there is absolutely no scientific proof! - Part 1 of 2 )
---
As Teyla. O'Neill and Carson joined them in the circle, along with two of the Consul's guards Simmin stepped away from John.
The rings swooshed and they found themselves in a very grand corridor. There was peach coloured marble floors, soft ambient lighting and the strains of gentle music seemed to float towards them. It dawned on John that their ship was docked in the working part of the space-port. The place where they unloaded cargo and emptied the tanks and mended the engines. But this must be where rich people parked their fancy cruisers.
"If you care to look out here, you will see your prize."
Simmin was standing by a large port, John joined him and looked out. It was probably the single most beautiful spacecraft he had ever seen. Sleek and darkly glittering like a field of stars, with sweeping wings and a fierce, dangerous look.
"Join us when you are ready, Captain Sheppard, but while you wait consider this. Maybe what you fear most is another having power over you. But even if it is less painful, to avoid entanglements, is it not also terribly lonely? Perhaps you should ask General O'Neil if he regrets making similar choices, because even if second chances awaiting us around the corner is it not better to make the correct choice in the first place?"
John stared out at his new ship. He could feel it from there. The systems, the engines, the weapons, a myriad of ancient technology calling to him to turn it on, light it up, to give it purpose and let it fly. And he wanted to, he really really wanted to fly it, because he knew how sweet it would be. He could feel how perfect it was. And he was afraid if he waited too long O'Neill would get fed up and just barge in there and sweet-talk John's beautiful ship into flying for him instead.
It was just that he hated it when he felt he was being outsmarted by wise all-knowing aliens. Simmin was as bad as Teyla at telling the uncomfortable truth. Although technically since he had been born in Pegasus Galaxy John was an alien here too.
Eventually he couldn't wait any longer. John already knew what he was going to do, because even if he didn't like it, he knew it was inevitable.
---
Once John set foot inside he realised that the cruiser was even more beautiful than he had imagined. And it opened up like a dark, dangerous flower. The hyper-drive engines were more powerful than any John had seen, there drones and energy cannons and even a transport beam. The data archive was huge and John could only imagine how excited the geeks back on Atlantis were going to be when they got hold of it. Zelenka would probably spontaneously combust.
Eventually John realised he was putting off the inevitable.
He turned round to ask where he needed to go and found Simmin right behind him.
"If you come with me, I'll introduce you to the companion."
As Simmin led him away from the others, John felt like a character in a book, like he wasn't quite real, like this wasn't really happening. And he tried once more to get out of the whole thing. "Now we're alone, no one will be able to hear what we're saying," and John thought very hard about placing a sound deadening field around the ship, "please, can we find another way for us to prove we can be good allies? Something that isn't this?"
Simmin stopped and his shoulders sagged a little, but then he took a deep breath and when he turned his head and looked at John his expression was serious, a little annoyed even, "What are you afraid of here?"
"I'm not....It's not that...."
"I have already reassured you, there is no coercion. Is it that you must bond with a male?"
"What? No! That's not it.!"
"Good, because I am an excellent judge of character and I was convinced soon after meeting you that you are a lover of men. So what is it? Tell me, because I have grown tired of this argument. Although why it should surprise me that you are as contrary as the rest of your kind I do not know."
"The rest of my kind?"
Simmin was clearly annoyed now, but he took a deep breath, let it out, and said through only slightly gritted teeth, "People from earth are notorious for their war-like, argumentative, contrary natures. And earth people have a uniquely idiosyncratic way of speaking, which you and General O'Neil share, even if your accents are subtly different. From this I deduce that you have been separated from your home world for some time, and therefore I have concluded that you are from the lost colony of Atlantis. You have been sent back to this galaxy to discover the fate of the earth after you lost touch with them over forty earth years ago."
"!!...."
"Do not attempt to deny it, Captain. But now that you realise I know everything, please tell me what it is that you fear?"
"I er..."
"What could be so terrible that you cannot even say it?"
"Commitment. Okay, that's what I fear."
"Hhmmm, tell me more. Were you abandoned by your mother? Is your father a cold and domineering man? Do you think everyone is spreading vicious rumours about you that are just perceptive enough to make them horrifyingly close to the truth?"
"I just don't do commitment."
"Unless it involves your ship or your crew or the mission that brought you here?"
"That's different."
Simmin paused, his hand raised towards the control on the door in front of him, and said, "Then consider that this now part of your mission. This is the only way he will be able to go with you. It is his only means of escape. I have managed to keep him safe here, but it is only a matter of time, Someone will come along with enough influence to force my hand. Or he will finally annoy someone so powerful I will be unable to protect him. He is a difficult and annoying man. He is also brave and brilliant, and he needs someone to help him, someone to give him a chance. I believe he deserves that chance." And with that he opened the door and shoved John inside.
It felt to John like he was reeling with shock. The knowledge that Simmin knew who they were, where they were from, that he had been protecting them, as well as the companion was buzzing in his head. Added to that was the nasty squirming feeling in his gut that he always got when someone cornered him and made him talk about his feelings.
He was also wondering just how he was going to deal with this man. He was certainly annoying, John recalled his constant interruptions the night before. And difficult? Well he had seen a certain wilfulness in the set of mouth, the jut of his chin. Brilliant, yes he probably was brilliant because he had come up with this plan.
There was one thing that was confusing John though, as he stared down. He could have sworn his hair had been longer. But then again he had only seen it for a few moments when the man had thrown his hood back. And he had been looking at him face on. He hadn't been looking at the back of his head. He hadn't known his hair was shorn close at the back to reveal that pale vulnerable skin at the nape. He hadn't been looking down on him. The man hadn't been kneeling,
Like he was now, kneeling at John's feet.
But it was wrong. He shouldn't be kneeling. John didn't want someone kneeling, it was just wrong. "This isn't right..... You shouldn't.... You don't have to kneel. God, get up. Just please. Please get up."
John reached down to help him to his feet, but his hand was shrugged off..
John had known, he'd just known how this was going to go and he couldn't deal with it. All his life he'd had to guard against this. The Sheppards were admired on Atlantis. Well people admired his father, the General, and his older brother David. Especially since David had become the youngest person ever to become a city administrator.
Then there was the gene, everyone wanted in on the bloodline. So John had always been very popular. But he had gradually come to realise something. People really liked the idea of John Sheppard the General's son, and they loved the idea of joining an important family. There had been a couple of times when fathers had practically thrown their daughters at him, eager for a grandchild who would be part of the pre-eminent bloodline. But the strange part was, even though these people had loved the idea of who John was or what being associated with him meant, after a time it became obvious they didn't really like the actual John Sheppard.
And once he joined a gateship team it just got worse. People rescued from culling were grateful. Happy to be alive and wanting to affirm they were alive, that they had escaped, was a natural response. Grabbing hold of the guy who rescued you, just because he was the guy who rescued you was also perfectly understandable. But as the guy who had done the rescuing John knew he was responsible for not taking advantage.
The same was true when they visited worlds where having the gene, where being able to work some piece of Ancient tech conferred on you the status of a God. Because over the centuries people had lost their knowledge of what the item was, and had simply come to revere because it had been left there by The Ancients. But as the guy who came along with the power to make that Ancient toaster-oven light up, or get the blinky lights to flash on blinky light panel number three, John had a responsibility not to take an advantage.
And John took that responsibility very seriously, so he tried once more. It was a version of a speech he had been forced to make on oh so many other awkward occasions, "Look, you don't have to do this. I'm nothing special, you don't owe me anything, I mean I'm here to... Please just stop with the kneeling thing will you?"
And that must have done the trick because he stood up, glared at John, and said, "I was tying my shoelace! What is wrong with you?"
And John was startled into silence. He had been expecting blue eyes, and that sure was a pair of possibly the bluest eyes he'd ever seen. Blue eyes that were sparking with irritation. Blue eyes that held a fierce intelligence. They just weren't the blue eyes he had been expecting. It wasn't the man from the night before. It was someone else completely.
John was confused, "I thought, I was ... er expecting... that is we met last night!"
"I've never laid eyes on you!"
"I thought I was supposed to be...that this was uhh... is he here?"
"Is who here? Are you drunk?"
"No, I'm just...confused. I must have the wrong room."
"Well don't let me keep you, I'm expecting someone."
John turned to leave, scrabbling at the controls when the door didn't automatically open for him. But it was locked shut and wouldn't budge. "It won't open."
"Here let me, you're obviously are too drunk to work it."
He manhandled John aside and flipped open the panel on the door mechanism, muttering to himself. "God where do they find these people?"
Close to, John noticed his broad shoulders, and that his arms were well defined. It made John feel strange to realise how easily he had been moved aside. John was still close enough to notice that he smelt of soap and coffee and something else. Something indefinable that made John want to bite the pale skin on one of those well-defined biceps just to learn how it tasted. He realised his is throat was suddenly dry and he swallowed hard
"Are you going to be ill?"
John shook his head.
"Only I warn you, I don't cope well with anyone being sick."
"I'm.." John cleared his throat and tried for a more manly pitch, "I'm fine, it's just a little warm in here."
"if you say so."
John watched as strong, pale fingers poked and prodded at the innards of the door mechanism. He didn't understand what was going on. "So, you work on the ship?"
Blue eyes glared up at him, lips pressed tightly together, then he lowered his head again to concentrate on the exposed filaments and crystals inside the control panel. John noticed his lashes were surprisingly long. John's throat was unaccountably dry again as he swallowed. Maybe there was something wrong with him.
John knew he was acting weird, noticing broad shoulders and long eyelashes. Not that noticing them was itself weird because he had seen beautiful women and good looking guys before, he'd even slept with a few. But that had been casual, lustful for sure, but still casual. This was NOTICING block capitals, blaring klaxons can't take your eyes off that mole on the back of his neck, the one ideally placed to be kissed or licked or just generally nuzzled, simply because it was a perfect little mole on the back of his neck. "That's definitely not right."
"Look, do you actually want to get out of here?"
John dragged his focus back from trying to fathom what part of this stranger's anatomy to compose a sonnet to next and said, "I should want to..... there's something I have to do. But honestly? Not so much."
"Well then stop trying to tell me how to do this. I know how to do this, okay? I know how to do everything!"
"I never said a word. And you do not know how to do everything."
"I do so know how to do everything, well everything that matters, and you were watching as I moved the conductive filaments to bypass the locking mechanism and you said, I quote that's definitely not right."
John was pretty sure he hadn't said anything aloud.
"And please, you don't honestly think a grown man is going to win an argument by pouting do you?"
"I am not pouting! And I didn't say that out loud either."
"I think I understand your strategy now. If you can't pout your way to victory move to phase two, deny everything. Very mature...Ouch fuck..!!!"
John pulled him away from the panel amid a shower of sparks and a puff of acrid smoke. "Are you okay?"
"Yes, yes." He was sucked his fingers and then blew on them, "This is very odd, I don't understand why the door won't just unlock. It's almost as if someone were standing outside holding the lock mechanism down. You didn't notice anyone out there did you, when you came in?"
John could see his fingers weren't burned, they were just as pale as before but now they were also glistening and wet. John swallowed again. He was close enough again to smell coffee and soap and that other indefinable delicious.... A sharp jab in his ribs startled him.
"I said did you see anyone out there when you came in."
John took a breath,
"Did you just sniff me!"
"What? No. I was breathing."
John received a narrow eyed glare and he noticed the way one corner of that expressive mouth turned down, like its default setting was slightly unhappy. It was quirky and not unattractive but it made John feel a little sad somehow. And it made him want to...
"Will you stop that!"
"I'm..." John didn't really know what to say because maybe there was something odd going on. "Maybe there is something wrong."
"What?"
"With me, something wrong."
"Oh there's no doubt something is wrong with you, for a start you keep sniffing me!"
"But that's not normal."
"I'll say."
"For me, it's not normal for me. But I have to do this thing, and it's freaking me out, and Simmin knows too much and then shoved me and..."
"Wait a minute, did you say Simmin?"
"Yes."
"Short guy with incredibly crazy hair."
"Well, I suppose his hair is a little messy."
"That sneaky, interfering little half-Nox."
"Nox?"
"His father, or maybe grandfather, I don't remember exactly. How else did you think he came by hair like that?"
"I've never actually seen a Nox, you know, so I thought maybe it was just a whole bunch of cowlicks."
"Cowlicks?"
"It can happen."
"So you're him then? John Sheppard from Atlantis. Why didn't you say? This is fascinating. You're obviously already feeling the effects of the bond."
"I..." John was reeling from the changes of direction the conversation had taken, as well as the realisation that here was a second person who knew where they were from.
"Oh, just come here."
And then John was being kissed.
But there were things, important things John needed to know so he tried to say "I don't..." but there was kissing. "Even.." And more kissing. "know."
And then kissing was followed by hands, warm, insistent hands in his hair, on his back, up under his shirt against his bare skin, down the front of his pants as they undid his fly, and John was trying to help because this was crazy insane but he wanted it, Oh God he wanted it so much it felt like he might turn inside out.
Then there was more kissing and then unbelievable heat and wet heat and suction and John realised that he had clearly never had a proper blowjob before. Because nothing had ever felt that good. He couldn't help it, he grabbed hold and just shoved himself into that hot, tight, wet place. The soft-hard, shivery texture of tongue sliding along the underside of his dick was an indescribably delicious, shivery feeling. Once. Twice he pushed in and then slowly pulled back. The third time when he pushed in he seemed to sink and sink into that glorious heat and texture and sensation forever, and he was just gone. There was nothing more. He came so hard it almost hurt and then he slumped into his head-buzzing, free falling best place ever, post-orgasm afterglow.
Some time later John realised someone was stroking the hair on his belly, up the wrong way then smoothing it back down again, up the wrong way then smoothing it back. John had always felt uncomfortable about just how much body hair he had. And he was particularly sensitive about that line of hair arrowing down from his bellybutton. Maybe someone had once called him a Neanderthal or something when they had seen it, so normally he would squirm away from this kind of touch. But this stroking was a strange mixture of ticklish and exciting and it made John's toes flex and curl in pleasure.
"You're just like my cat."
The stroking continued.
John lifted his head and looked down his body. He had heard of cats and although he'd never seen one he was pretty sure they did not look like this.
His shirt was still buttoned but it was rucked up under his armpits. His pants were undone and shoved down off his hips and had bunched around the top of this thighs. He realised he should feel stupid and exposed and kind of awkward. That had certainly been the case the only other time he'd ever done anything even remotely like this. And that time he'd still known the person, he hadn't just jumped the bones of a total stranger within five minutes of meeting them. Instead this was different. He felt warm and relaxed and still faintly euphoric. It was a pretty great feeling. Still, John knew he should say something, but he couldn't think how to start. "Huh."
Blue eyes looked up at him. He looked mostly very pleased with himself, but there was that slight downturn at the corner of his mouth again as he said,
"Huh what?"
"I don't even know who you are."
"Of course you do!"
"I've never done anything like that ."
"I'd assume not."
"You don't seem bothered."
"Oh I'm bothered, in ways you can't even begin to imagine."
And bam! There it was. Stupid awkward exposure. John tired to curl up and away. He could feel his face burning with a dull embarrassed heat.
Strong hands held him in place, "Where are you going?"
John felt like he couldn't look anyone in the eye so he shut his own eyes and tried to turn his face away.
"What's the matter?" A palm cupped his cheek and stopped him from turning away. It was gentle but firm enough that he couldn't fight it.
"You're bothered by this, what I did. I don't understand why I lost it like that."
"Didn't Simmin explain anything about the bond?"
"Well sure, but what's that got to do with.... He said.... isn't the companion the one who's supposed to.... You're a companion?"
"Charming. Yes I'm a companion. We're not all floppy haired archeologists you know!"
"But you weren't all," John waved his hand trying to describe the shape of how he'd imagined an obedient and submissive companion might behave, without being so overtly offensive that if Teyla were present she would feel the need to beat him to the ground with her Bantos rods.
"Oh you thought that did you? Well, sorry to shatter your sordid fantasy, but companions aren't some kind of porno cliché. As to why it affected you as it did, I just assumed you were some kind of..."
John cut him off before he could finish, and said, "I'm not some kind of intergalactic slut, okay?"
"I was going to say highly repressed individual, but... "
"No that's fine." Then changing the subject quickly John asked, "So how come I never heard of this bond thing?"
"Because they created it for us."
"Who?"
"People from earth. The exiles. Scientists who knew too much and couldn't limit their thinking, who couldn't forget once they'd seen the beauty of the event horizon and refused to lie. Great scientific minds whose intellect shouldn't be chained to one planet, not with all this out here to discover. I think they realised that they owed us something for essentially ruining our lives for the greater good. It's a kind of protection. "
"Oh, I think I just got a joke I heard yesterday, you're an astrophysicist, right?"
"I have a feeling I don't want to hear that joke, and yes one of my doctorates was astrophysics."
"It figures you'd have more than one. But you still didn't answered the question I asked, genius. Who created it?"
"The Nox, of course. They don't usually interfere. It's against their prime directive or something. So they felt guilty that the one time the did interfere there were unforeseen repercussions. As to what they did, as much as it pains me to say it, even I don't understand anything The Nox actually do, so I might just as well say they cast a spell on us to create The Bond."
"Prime Directive, isn't that from Star Trek? It's so cool you know that show. Did they make a second series of it? I always hoped they had, but most people seem to think it bombed."
"I have no words for how bizarre this conversation is. You don't seem bothered that you've essentially been enchanted, but you go all fannish over Star Trek. And I can't believe you even had Star Trek on Atlantis."
"Yeah, we had all the up to date TV shows, films and music as well. Entertainment was considered to be a priority. Even in the early days a large number of people were based there, and I think they were worried people would all go crazy and kill themselves if they didn't have ways of relaxing."
"Yes but Star Trek? Talk about irony. I suppose you had The Twilight Zone and Dr Who as well."
"Of course we have The Twilight Zone, but I've never heard of that other one."
"Never heard of... Hhmm, must be the timing, if Daniel were here he'd be dancing with glee over cultural influences or parallel development or some other mumbo-jumbo he seems to have mistaken for actual science."
"Daniel?" John tried to sit up. He didn't know who the fuck Daniel was but he sure as didn't like the idea of him hanging around his companion.
"Oh behave." John was shoved back down. "It's just the bond. The feelings of extreme jealousy will fade quickly to normal levels, at least that's the theory. It probably means it's either time for me to fuck you into stupidity to make it permanent, or let you go so it can fade to nothing."
John felt something deep inside him shrivel up and die, leaving a painful empty space. "You want to let me go?"
"No, because I'm essentially a selfish man. But maybe it's what I should do."
John shook his head, it wasn't what he wanted but he didn't say anything because what could he say? Everyone who slept with him wanted to let him go, sooner or later.
"I'll explain how it works and leave it up to you. When we were exiled we ended up on the Nox home world, it's an okay place if you like trees. Most of us didn't though but the problem was no one willing to claim us.
"For some reason earth people have this unjustified reputation of being difficult. So we had no protection. Because even if the system lords are mostly destroyed, and the Ori have been banished to another realm, there are still some bad bad people out here in the galaxy. The problem is a lot of people have heard of earth and it's huge resources, and it's lost colony in Atlantis. Anyone greedy and unscrupulous might think that capturing a few earth scientists could give them an edge, a way to circumvent the restrictions placed on the earth that made it a no go area.
"So the Nox cooked up the bond. I suppose they were desperate to get rid of the bunch of bored scientists who were roaming all over their home-world and trying to find a way into their cloud city so they could figure out how everything worked. They sent us to The guild of Companions, but we were bonded to The Nox until someone more suitable came along.
"I know it doesn't sound like much, but believe me no one goes against the Nox. They can be where ever they want to be in the blink of an eye. They can send you to the other end of the galaxy too, just as quickly. They have shields, and if you die they can bring you back, and not in the bad, soul-destroying-evil-sarcophagus way either."
"You've died? Who tried to kill you?" John was pretty sure that even when the bond faded and he was kicked to the curb he would make it his business to find whoever had done it and teach them why it was a bad idea to mess with his companion.
"I've had severe allergies all my life, citrus, especially lemon and beestings. I recently discovered a new allergy, certain types of alien tree-sap."
"Oh."
"Yes, so, it was another reason for The Nox to help us out, seeing as their planet accidentally killed me seven times. So we left and we've been travelling from world to world with Simmin. He keeps being appointed as the Nox ambassador on different worlds. Then Pitrok brought a piece of Daniel's contract so he's been tagging along with us. Of course we know what he's up to, The Lucian Alliance is full of crooks and thieves, but at least if he's right there we can keep an eye on him. Daniel is brilliant at holding him at bay but keeping him just interested enough to stick around. Of course we'll have to figure out some way of getting him free of that contract before I leave. Except you probably won't want to take me once you understand. But maybe you could bond with him instead. He's probably more your type, and Atlantis is his dream you know."
John didn't like that downward turn on his companion's mouth, and the light seemed to have died out of his eyes too, as he began to pull away.
"Yes it is probably for the best if you go and find Daniel. I don't really know what Simmin was thinking sending you to me in the first place. I'll just. Yes I'll let you go." He pushed himself up from where he had been lying, head resting on John's shoulder.
In the past John would have agreed to go. After all that was his usual morning after the night before routine. But the minute he felt the delicious heat all along the right hand side of his body begin to move away he instinctively tightened his arms and pulled him back, entangling his legs as well, just to make it more impossible for him to get up.
"You didn't tell me what it does. You said what it was, but you didn't say what the bond does."
"It's stupid."
John squeezed him so tight he practically squeaked. "Let me go you oaf!"
"Tell me what it does."
"It's fate, okay. It protects me until I find my happily ever after. I told you it's a spell!" He practically spit the last word out.
"So you'd put out for anyone who would take you to Atlantis? Same with this Daniel?"
"Atlantis is all he dreams of ."
"What about me? If these Nox are the good guys, wouldn't their spell care about my fate too? My happily ever after?"
There was no answer. When John looked down all he could see was the top of his head because his face was pressed hard against his side.
So John said, "See you arrived at a solution but you don't have all the facts. Isn't that frowned on by proper scientists?"
And sure enough that received a full on glare, sparks of ire glinting in those blue depths, and a sharp response, "I know everything relevant, and I'm trying to do the descent thing here! Trying to be the bigger man. So keep that in mind why don't you before you go accusing me of whatever it is you seem to think I've done."
John's smile was obnoxious on purpose as he continued, "See if this was just about Atlantis and you say Atlantis is Daniel's only dream then the bond thing would already be a done deal. Because I met this other companion twice last night, and he told me he had a contract with Pitrok."
"You met Daniel? Wait a minute, you said you were looking for someone else when you first arrived. You were looking for him? I knew this was too good to be true!"
"I was expecting him, yes."
"So go and find him!" And there was another struggle but John had been expecting it so he just held on tight. Because John had an idea, and even if it sounded stupid and impossible inside his own head, he'd still be a fool to let go.
"You're using faulty logic again, genius. I met Daniel twice. But nothing happened. No Bond. No mind shattering blow job. Nothing. Zilch. So come on, there's still some vital data missing from this equation. If the bond is just about getting what you want, and if as you say all Daniel wants is to go to Atlantis, then his bond would have been all over me like white on rice."
"Yes okay there is one other thing. But it's a spell! And it's a complete myth. Dreamed up by romance novelists, country and western song writers and people who write teenaged vampire novels."
"What is?"
"True love, soul mates, fate. That perfect someone who loves you just the way you are." He shuddered in John's arms and spat out a final word "Destiny!"
John couldn't help it he started to laugh, it just kind of burst out of him.
"Are you having a seizure? Seriously? That is your laugh? I mean when I first saw your hair and I got a closer look at your ears I thought there might have been a little Nox somewhere in your ancestry, but now I'm thinking it was more likely a little donkey."
John glared at him but now they were both laughing as he said, "So you love me just the way I am?"
"Apart from that laugh, even your great grandfather the donkey would struggle to love that.
"I thought you said I had a little Nox in me?"
"There had better not have been any little Nox's in you. I am a very jealous and vindictive man." And he squeezed John so hard he nearly saw stars. Then he kissed him until he actually did see stars.
Eventually he let John up for air, and after he caught his breath John said, "Wow you really do love me! But there is just one thing."
"What now?"
"It's kind of weird seeing as we've gonna hook up forever."
"We are?"
"Aren't we. Fate, destiny, soul mates, remember?"
"Yes okay, we're headed for a happily ever after. Happy now?"
"I will be, once I know what your name is."
"What? You don't even know my name!"
"I can just keep referring to you as my obedient companion if you prefer."
"Dr M,R, McKay."
"Isn't that a little formal for a soul mate?"
"I go by Rodney. So are we done with the talking now? Can we get on with the...." He waved his right hand as if trying to describe the shape some fantastic happily-ever-after sex.
"Yep we're done."
Then there was more kissing.
The End.
Almost.
In another part of the ship Consul Simmin was leading General O'Neill down a corridor. They stopped at a door and the consul turned to the General and said, "Tell me General, do you believe in fate? Destiny? Soul mates? Magic as a solution to the troubling and unexpected consequences of a mostly successful military intervention?"
"I'm more of a shoot the troubling consequences kind of guy, you know?"
"Oh well nobody's perfect. But perhaps you could try and keep your weapon holstered until I introduce you to someone who has an interesting viewpoint on the matter."
Simmin knocked on the door then opened it and said, "Dr Jackson I have someone here I think have been waiting for.
And that is definitely the end.