Comments | sg_major: Part III, version I

sg_major

Part III, version I

Jul 17, 2005 22:41

This is a short, descriptive scene. Very little plot advancement, but an interesting scene nonetheless

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Comments 3

hey ... nice work anonymous July 23 2005, 15:40:10 UTC

Wow Gar-bear. I like it.
It's interesting and it has A LOT of detail -- that's a good thing for slow people like me who need descriptiveness.

Loveyou,
K-tina
AKA
Sexy AND Chubby

Ps -- I still havent decided if i want to share my lj name... ;)

Re: hey ... nice work anonymous July 23 2005, 16:19:09 UTC

it's me again.

I just have a quick qestion.

Where does this fit into the story?
I may be asking a really dumb question, but is this a brief splurt of a vision he is having while he is sitting in the Rusty Roo??

Why is he having this Splurt?
I like the DETAIL of the splurt, but tell me where it fits. Tell me more.

You cant just leave a person hanging on a Saturday Morning!!!!!!!!!!

LOVE,
K-tina
AKA
Sexy AND Chubby

anonymous July 25 2005, 02:08:20 UTC

GAW i am trying to hard to not fall into the gw fan club but it isnt working. i cant find anythign i dont like about this passage . There is just something different about it. Its so good i still think you are becoming president of the universe.
The relationship between this girl and him is definatly getting interesting
You are the king of cliff hangers. You need to FINISH.