To sleep perchance to dream

[sfllaw]

I saw the most depressing thing this weekend.

Sunday evening, I left my parents place and took the subway down to Union station. As I walked up the stairs to go to the train station, I was accosted by various panhandlers.

These people were all depressingly poor. I mean, their bodies were emaciated, their hair was matted, their beards thick and

Comments

*corrected- le-el ..tired I guess.

[blacksquiggles]

having been homeless in Toronto off and on for years I'd like to say how much the simple word "sorry" means.

It wont change their situation? really? do you know that for a fact?

I was 13 when I was first on the street...

one nickel meant a sandwich at the evergreen
a sandwich at the evergreen meant a warm place to sit
that warm place to sit opened me up to speaking with the counselors they had on hand.
those counselors eventually convinced me that I was better than all of this and gave me the tools I needed to get out.Here I am now, 15 years later...married, owning my own business, a mother of three..

all that for a nickel :)

terribly sad about the girl.

Re: *corrected- le-el ..tired I guess.

[sfllaw]

Every once in a while, I talk with these people, with the ones that look like a little shove could get them back on their feet. I'm not particularly rich, so I've got to pick and choose the ones I help. The ones scarred by drug abuse tend to be the ones I avoid.

I offer to listen to them and to buy them some food at a place of their choosing. I don't know what more to do, though.

I've heard some weird stories. Like this homeless guy, Alan was his name I think, who claimed to want to be a policeman like his brother, and then professed the desire to kill his entire family. That was a turn-off to ever buying him pizza slices again.

Re: *corrected- le-el ..tired I guess.

[blacksquiggles]

People used to do that for me...take me over to the big slice for a meal...
They didn't want to help, they wanted to hear my story. I was amusing.

I give the change in my pocket until I have no more, then I give a soft smile and apology to anyone else who asks me.

Re: *corrected- le-el ..tired I guess.

[sfllaw]

I'm interested in stories too, but you don't have to pay people for those. Lots of people will just tell you them just because.

I personally am concerned that my money will filter its way into violent activities. That makes me sad.

But I think I'll follow your example now.

[kinra]

Simon:

Where does the Torontonian blindness come from?

I hate it. I hate experiencing it; I hate perpetuating it, but it's a part of my makeup and I don't know how to shake it. Is it a defence mechanism? I used to give whenever the opportunity prevented itself. Now I don't. I don't know why.

[sfllaw]

I think it comes about slowly.

Because Toronto is such a big city, such a cold city, you really can't connect with every person you meet. You ignore all the people that stand cram around you on the bus, you ignore all the people who walk down the street, you ignore the people standing in line. You have to, because if you cared for them all, you'd go insane.

So slowly, ever so gradually, you develop mental blinkers. You no longer see anything but your destination, so you aren't startled when something bizzare happens.

I guess the only thing to do is to look and to pay attention. But then might you go insane? How do you deal with so much heartbreak that happens in a city like Toronto? Such is the price to pay for humanity.

Have you been to New York?

[anonymous]

Torontonian blindness?? I assume you have never been to New York City.