My Thoughts Are Running A Marathon
My Thoughts Are Running A Marathon
Glee. PG. Finn thinks about Rachel much more than he’d be willing to say.
- - - -
The way she looks at him while they’re singing. It’s like he’s just given her a million dollars. Like they’re the last people left in the world and she’s glad of it.
She’s beautiful then. Usually she hides it behind a snotty demeanor and severe button-down blouses.
He digs Rachel, in ways he probably shouldn’t. She has this amazing voice and she’s funny… even if she doesn’t always mean to be. Finn thinks he’s probably in trouble.
- - - -
He finds her crying in the auditorium one day. It’s before Glee club and he hurries in to tell her that he can’t meet them today. There’s a big game at the weekend and football practice is bound to run on. For some reason he feels like he has to go apologize to Rachel.
He brushes through the doors without paying attention. He doesn’t expect anyone else to be there yet, Rachel is always early to set things up for the club. He also doesn’t expect to find her staring out at the lighting box, tears streaming down her face. He surprises her and she jumps, wiping furiously at her cheeks.
“Finn!”
“Uh, sorry. I- I’ll go.”
“No, wait.”
He stops his hasty retreat and by the time he looks back at her face Rachel is almost composed again.
“You’re early,” she points out.
He nods. “I can’t actually make it today… football…” he leaves the word hanging with no further explanation. It won’t make any difference to her, she won’t be happy about his absence.
To his surprise her response is less fiery wrath and more subdued melancholy. “Oh, okay.”
“I’m really sorry, it’s just with the game this Saturday-”
“No, it’s fine. We’ll work on some choral exercises without you. Could you please practice the duet for next time though? We’ll need to catch up.”
He nods again, feeling very uncomfortable. Rachel looks like she could burst into tears again at any moment.
“Sure. Sorry, again…” There is an awkward pause. “Are you okay?” he asks before his better judgment can stop him.
She lifts her chin defiantly. “Never better.”
“Right. See you, Rachel.”
“Goodbye, Finn.”
He ducks out of the room quickly. He spends all practice distracted.
- - - -
People throw slushies at her and glue her locker shut. They knock books out of her hands, shove her in the corridors and steal her clothes after gym. Nobody does these things to Finn or his friends. The thing is… Rachel’s one of his friends now too.
They don’t really acknowledge it outside of Glee but if Finn ever found himself in jail he thinks he would use his one call to get Rachel to bail him out.
He thinks, despite herself, she would probably show up with the money.
- - - -
If she ever calls him the ring tone will be Don’t Stop Believin’. He set it up to make her laugh the day she demanded his cell phone number for Glee club purposes.
“We should exchange numbers,” she tells him, very matter-of-fact.
“In case of emergency rehearsals?” he jokes.
“It makes sense,” she defends, “you never know when we might need to contact each other. What if you were sick?”
“I’m pretty sure the office would tell Mr. Schuester.”
“What if he was sick too?”
“I don’t usually get sick, Rachel.”
Her face is set in a determined mask but with each passing second it looks like it might crack.
He smiles. “Gimme your phone.”
She hands it over and he quickly programs in his number, hitting the call button to send hers to the phone in the back pocket of his jeans. It starts to ring and their fingers brush when he hands her cell back. Just as quickly he unlocks the keypad on his own phone and stores the missed call under her name.
“There, happy?”
“Yes, thank you. I like to be prepared.”
- - - -
She sits alone at lunch. The other Glee kids put up with her because she’s good but they’re not really friends with Rachel. One day when Quinn isn’t in school he goes to sit next to her.
She looks up and asks abruptly, “What are you doing here?”
“Uh, eating lunch.”
“But your friends are over there.” She nods to his regular table.
“You wound me, Rach. We’re not friends?”
“Not the kind who do anything in public and by public I do mean in front of your football team.”
He bumps her shoulder with his, grinning. “You’re on my team, just a different team.”
A small smile flickers at her corners of her mouth. She flushes just the tiniest bit around her cheeks and he can’t help but warm to her.
“C’mon,” he cajoles, “what are we singing today?”
He doesn’t have to say much else for the rest of the hour. Finn doesn’t recognize the names of all the songs but he knows by the end of the week he’ll at least know their melodies.
- - - -
Finn doesn’t really know much about musicals… or anything at all about musicals, if he’s being honest. He doesn’t have a favorite and he definitely doesn’t know who Idina Menzel is. Rachel talks about these things like they’re the most basic elements of human knowledge. She’s passionate about them. He promises that one day they’ll go to Broadway-all of them, the whole Glee club, he amends before things can get weird-and she can educate him.
The smile she gives him in response is blinding.
“You have to see Les Miserables. Even if you never see another musical, which you should because they’re excellent, you should see Les Mis.”
- - - -
She sings a lot of sad songs about loneliness and unrequited love. Finn has seen Rachel’s myspace page. He knows that Quinn and her friends leave awful messages. He clicks on the latest video. It’s titled Unexpected Song and it’s different from the others. Sung by someone soft and loved and a little worshipful. Rachel nails it anyway.
The Cheerios’ comments are all in the same vein. As if anyone could love a tranny like you. Finn wants to reply but that would get him in serious trouble with Quinn. He considers making a fake account so that no one would know but realizes how stupid that sounds before he has logged out of his own profile. Rachel can handle herself. She doesn’t need him to be a white knight. He might sing after school now but he doesn’t think that completely qualifies him for the role anyway.
- - - -
She’s going to be something extraordinary after high school but she wants it now. Finn doesn’t know what he wants to do with his life. He doesn’t have it all planned out. He admires Rachel’s conviction but wonders sometimes if she would be a little happier without such regimented dreams. She’s talented, of course she is, but that doesn’t necessarily mean life will give her the opportunities to be a Broadway star. He doesn’t think she could cope with the failure, but it’s not really his business to say anything.
- - - -
Mr. Schuester gives him some vocal exercises to ‘open up his range.’ Finn loves to sing but he’s never had lessons or coaching. It feels awkward to practice scales and sing strange phrases about Mickey Mouse or do an excellent impression of an irate horse.
“And how is this supposed to help me hit… uh… what am I trying to do?”
“High B, Finn. And I’ll coach you.”
“Um, okay.” He can’t pretend that he’s not scared of being subjected to Rachel’s version of teaching. She means well but she has very little patience.
As he ruffles through the sheet music in his hands she takes a seat by the piano.
“Can you read sheet music?” she asks brusquely.
“Not really…”
“Right, well I’m going to play G. Sing it back to me.”
She presses down a single white key and he tries to mimic the note. Her face tightens ever so slightly and he can tell she’s not happy.
“You’re flat. We’ll try it again.”
She runs her hands smoothly along the keys playing an intricate scale as if she’s the one who needs to warm up. Abruptly she hits G again and he takes a second attempt at singing along. This time her face stays relaxed and the hint of a smile forms along her lips.
“Perfect.”
They continue the trend of picking out individual notes. Rachel tells him that they have to work on accuracy and endurance if they’re to expect an improvement in his range.
He feels awkward standing next to the piano. Like a little boy. During a short break, while Rachel is flicking through sheaves of sheet music, he sits on the other side of the piano bench and roughly picks out a tune on the keys. He can’t really play piano. Rachel stops what she’s doing to look at him. She watches carefully and then starts embellishing the awkward melody he’s tinkering with.
It makes him laugh. Finn gives up with his end but Rachel adds a second hand to the piece flawlessly. It’s the most complicated arrangement of Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star he’s ever heard. She finishes with flourish and his laughter picks up again. Finn stands, applauding, while Rachel bows from her seat. He can see all her perfect, pearly white teeth as she smiles.
It’s the most genuine thing.
Glee. PG. Finn thinks about Rachel much more than he’d be willing to say.
- - - -
The way she looks at him while they’re singing. It’s like he’s just given her a million dollars. Like they’re the last people left in the world and she’s glad of it.
She’s beautiful then. Usually she hides it behind a snotty demeanor and severe button-down blouses.
He digs Rachel, in ways he probably shouldn’t. She has this amazing voice and she’s funny… even if she doesn’t always mean to be. Finn thinks he’s probably in trouble.
- - - -
He finds her crying in the auditorium one day. It’s before Glee club and he hurries in to tell her that he can’t meet them today. There’s a big game at the weekend and football practice is bound to run on. For some reason he feels like he has to go apologize to Rachel.
He brushes through the doors without paying attention. He doesn’t expect anyone else to be there yet, Rachel is always early to set things up for the club. He also doesn’t expect to find her staring out at the lighting box, tears streaming down her face. He surprises her and she jumps, wiping furiously at her cheeks.
“Finn!”
“Uh, sorry. I- I’ll go.”
“No, wait.”
He stops his hasty retreat and by the time he looks back at her face Rachel is almost composed again.
“You’re early,” she points out.
He nods. “I can’t actually make it today… football…” he leaves the word hanging with no further explanation. It won’t make any difference to her, she won’t be happy about his absence.
To his surprise her response is less fiery wrath and more subdued melancholy. “Oh, okay.”
“I’m really sorry, it’s just with the game this Saturday-”
“No, it’s fine. We’ll work on some choral exercises without you. Could you please practice the duet for next time though? We’ll need to catch up.”
He nods again, feeling very uncomfortable. Rachel looks like she could burst into tears again at any moment.
“Sure. Sorry, again…” There is an awkward pause. “Are you okay?” he asks before his better judgment can stop him.
She lifts her chin defiantly. “Never better.”
“Right. See you, Rachel.”
“Goodbye, Finn.”
He ducks out of the room quickly. He spends all practice distracted.
- - - -
People throw slushies at her and glue her locker shut. They knock books out of her hands, shove her in the corridors and steal her clothes after gym. Nobody does these things to Finn or his friends. The thing is… Rachel’s one of his friends now too.
They don’t really acknowledge it outside of Glee but if Finn ever found himself in jail he thinks he would use his one call to get Rachel to bail him out.
He thinks, despite herself, she would probably show up with the money.
- - - -
If she ever calls him the ring tone will be Don’t Stop Believin’. He set it up to make her laugh the day she demanded his cell phone number for Glee club purposes.
“We should exchange numbers,” she tells him, very matter-of-fact.
“In case of emergency rehearsals?” he jokes.
“It makes sense,” she defends, “you never know when we might need to contact each other. What if you were sick?”
“I’m pretty sure the office would tell Mr. Schuester.”
“What if he was sick too?”
“I don’t usually get sick, Rachel.”
Her face is set in a determined mask but with each passing second it looks like it might crack.
He smiles. “Gimme your phone.”
She hands it over and he quickly programs in his number, hitting the call button to send hers to the phone in the back pocket of his jeans. It starts to ring and their fingers brush when he hands her cell back. Just as quickly he unlocks the keypad on his own phone and stores the missed call under her name.
“There, happy?”
“Yes, thank you. I like to be prepared.”
- - - -
She sits alone at lunch. The other Glee kids put up with her because she’s good but they’re not really friends with Rachel. One day when Quinn isn’t in school he goes to sit next to her.
She looks up and asks abruptly, “What are you doing here?”
“Uh, eating lunch.”
“But your friends are over there.” She nods to his regular table.
“You wound me, Rach. We’re not friends?”
“Not the kind who do anything in public and by public I do mean in front of your football team.”
He bumps her shoulder with his, grinning. “You’re on my team, just a different team.”
A small smile flickers at her corners of her mouth. She flushes just the tiniest bit around her cheeks and he can’t help but warm to her.
“C’mon,” he cajoles, “what are we singing today?”
He doesn’t have to say much else for the rest of the hour. Finn doesn’t recognize the names of all the songs but he knows by the end of the week he’ll at least know their melodies.
- - - -
Finn doesn’t really know much about musicals… or anything at all about musicals, if he’s being honest. He doesn’t have a favorite and he definitely doesn’t know who Idina Menzel is. Rachel talks about these things like they’re the most basic elements of human knowledge. She’s passionate about them. He promises that one day they’ll go to Broadway-all of them, the whole Glee club, he amends before things can get weird-and she can educate him.
The smile she gives him in response is blinding.
“You have to see Les Miserables. Even if you never see another musical, which you should because they’re excellent, you should see Les Mis.”
- - - -
She sings a lot of sad songs about loneliness and unrequited love. Finn has seen Rachel’s myspace page. He knows that Quinn and her friends leave awful messages. He clicks on the latest video. It’s titled Unexpected Song and it’s different from the others. Sung by someone soft and loved and a little worshipful. Rachel nails it anyway.
The Cheerios’ comments are all in the same vein. As if anyone could love a tranny like you. Finn wants to reply but that would get him in serious trouble with Quinn. He considers making a fake account so that no one would know but realizes how stupid that sounds before he has logged out of his own profile. Rachel can handle herself. She doesn’t need him to be a white knight. He might sing after school now but he doesn’t think that completely qualifies him for the role anyway.
- - - -
She’s going to be something extraordinary after high school but she wants it now. Finn doesn’t know what he wants to do with his life. He doesn’t have it all planned out. He admires Rachel’s conviction but wonders sometimes if she would be a little happier without such regimented dreams. She’s talented, of course she is, but that doesn’t necessarily mean life will give her the opportunities to be a Broadway star. He doesn’t think she could cope with the failure, but it’s not really his business to say anything.
- - - -
Mr. Schuester gives him some vocal exercises to ‘open up his range.’ Finn loves to sing but he’s never had lessons or coaching. It feels awkward to practice scales and sing strange phrases about Mickey Mouse or do an excellent impression of an irate horse.
“And how is this supposed to help me hit… uh… what am I trying to do?”
“High B, Finn. And I’ll coach you.”
“Um, okay.” He can’t pretend that he’s not scared of being subjected to Rachel’s version of teaching. She means well but she has very little patience.
As he ruffles through the sheet music in his hands she takes a seat by the piano.
“Can you read sheet music?” she asks brusquely.
“Not really…”
“Right, well I’m going to play G. Sing it back to me.”
She presses down a single white key and he tries to mimic the note. Her face tightens ever so slightly and he can tell she’s not happy.
“You’re flat. We’ll try it again.”
She runs her hands smoothly along the keys playing an intricate scale as if she’s the one who needs to warm up. Abruptly she hits G again and he takes a second attempt at singing along. This time her face stays relaxed and the hint of a smile forms along her lips.
“Perfect.”
They continue the trend of picking out individual notes. Rachel tells him that they have to work on accuracy and endurance if they’re to expect an improvement in his range.
He feels awkward standing next to the piano. Like a little boy. During a short break, while Rachel is flicking through sheaves of sheet music, he sits on the other side of the piano bench and roughly picks out a tune on the keys. He can’t really play piano. Rachel stops what she’s doing to look at him. She watches carefully and then starts embellishing the awkward melody he’s tinkering with.
It makes him laugh. Finn gives up with his end but Rachel adds a second hand to the piece flawlessly. It’s the most complicated arrangement of Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star he’s ever heard. She finishes with flourish and his laughter picks up again. Finn stands, applauding, while Rachel bows from her seat. He can see all her perfect, pearly white teeth as she smiles.
It’s the most genuine thing.