The Flavor Of Your Lips [2/??]
'Lets take a moment to reflect,
On the past few years of my life,
I haven't worked myself away,
To stay inside.
This is the time to let us... '
The sound of the door hitting the wall caused me to stop singing Break Out! Break Out! for our band practice. It's been a week since I actually seen Lisa, and honestly, it was a great week. Except for the texts and calls.
And, I think Lisa had just put a hole in the wall by doing that. Fuck, another thing for Rian to get on my ass about.
“Alexander William Gaskarth! Upstairs now!” She yelled at me. Geez, no please?
I looked to my band mates, a silent sorry then followed the bitch upstairs. Still really needs to end and now. Once we got upstairs, I was going to tell her it was over, but she didn't let me speak.
“What the hell?! You're going to ignore me for a week!?” She yelled.
I crossed my arms and yelled right back to her. “What are you talking about? Your last text said you didn't want me to talk to you! So, I wasn't.”
“Oh, so you're not going to even try to make our relationship work?” She snapped back at me.
I threw my arms up. “What the hell, Lisa! I've been trying to make this work! This whole fucking time. I'm sorry for not spending time with you. I'm taking Lisa, really, I am. It's just--” She cut me off.
“It's just what?! Too busy with this fucking band!” She said then threw a lamp at me. I just barely got out of the way in time.
“I'm sorry, god damn it! You know I'm stuck right now! I need two more fucking songs and honestly, you're not fucking helping!!” I yelled back at her, and that's what really started everything. About 15 minutes later, we were back in my room. I could feel that I had some broken ribs and they hurt like fuck. I was on one side of my bed, Lisa on the other.
“Lisa, just chill the fuck out already!” I yelled at her. She didn't then that to well, she threw one of my shoes at me, and hit me right in the face. I could taste the blood in my mouth from that. Damn, I hate to admit it, but she has a good arm.
“Don't you fucking dare tell me what to do, Alexander!! You don't care about me or us anymore!!” She yelled.
I sighed roughly, which really hurt. I think I may have more then just a few broken ribs. Fucking great. “You know what, whatever! Let's just call it off then. Because I'm sick and tired of being the one to show you I'm not done with us! I'm done letting you walk all over me!” I yelled her. That must had really pissed her off, because everything went black after that.
I think she threw something at me, again, and I might have hit my head on the night stand by my bed. But whatever she threw at me hurt, and it broke. Just great, more fucking pain to be in as I lay on my floor. I really hope Rian or Zack doesn't see me like this.
It was probably anywhere from 5 to another 15 minutes that I heard a scream. A scream from Jack. “ALEX WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?!” He had screamed. It was definitely Jack, his voice went to a higher pitched when he yelled.
The sad thing was, I couldn't say anything, just groan as loud as I could. Owwwww. Well, at least I know for sure some of my ribs are broken. I could hear the door open, a slight pause, I think. I can't really focus on anything right now. Everything is all fuzzy.
“Alex, where are you?” He yelled, worry clear in his voice. Of course he would be worried, We're best friends. Wait, does that mean Lisa had left? I didn't even hear her leave.
“J-jack.” I forced out. God, I hurt some much. I rather be unconscious again. At least then, I can see my brother then. I remembered the few minutes that I was out cold now. I wanted to go to him so much. To tell him I'm sorry about that stupid ass fight we got into. That I miss him. That I love him. That without him, no matter who I was with, I still felt alone without my big brother.
“I'm here Lex. It'll be okay.” Jack said, bring me back somewhat. He's always been here for me and look at me. I'm totally broken. I'm so sorry Jack. It's all my fault. If I never got into a fight with Lisa, he wouldn't have be here right now. Hell, would could still be at our band practice/meeting.
I nodded weakly to him. I just couldn't allow him to leave me just yet. I need someone right now. “T-thanks …. d-don't go …. I'm … I'm s-so sorry, Jack.” It's barely audible, I'm not even sure Jack had heard me. I had my eyes closed. I didn't want him to see the pain in them. Both the physical and emotional pain that I'm going threw right now.
“It's not your fault Lex. You did nothing wrong and I would never dream of leaving you, babe.” He said, I guess to comfort me. We would always joke around with being gay. It was kind of our thing. It made me smile a bit, but I couldn't say anything back. I started to slip back to being unconscious. The only thing I heard before everything went black was.
“Lex? …. Alex? Hey, can you here me? You nee--” And that was the end of Jack's voice until I was in this black world. Looking for Daniel again.
This black world I'm in... it's hard to describe. Since everything is black, it would make you think it's cold but it doesn't have a feeling of either heat or cold. There's no sold ground either, just floating around. I turned around to look behind me, just mentally cursed knowing that I was going to feel pain, but did I? No. Nothing. No feeling of pain. I looked over my body. My cloths were messy but not because of the fight with Lisa. No bruises or cuts.
I look like I did when I went to band practice this morning. As if it had never happen. But, the thing this world couldn't stop was the emotional pain. I still felt that. Even more then normal.
My heart hurt so much knowing that Lisa was the one that did this to me. Knowing that I was the one that made her do all of this to me.
“If you get sick of it, just join me.” I heard a voice that I hadn't heard in forever. I looked up and I saw my older brother, Daniel.
I wanted to say something but I couldn't. I felt pain again. I looked up at Daniel, holding my throat. He was starting to disappear.
No! Don't leave me again, Daniel. Please, I need you so much right now. I don't know what to do. Please, I'm so sorry for everything that happen between us. I didn't mean to ever fight with you! I should have stopped you when you told me that you were done with everything. I'm so so sorry!
I opened my eyes as far as I could. Everything was fuzzy. I don't remember anything that had happen. Did I get drunk again last night? I heard my door open and close. Who was it now? I hope it's not Lisa, I rather not hear her yell at me for getting drunk.
It was Jack. What was he doing in my room? I didn't even know he was over today. “Lex? How you feelin?” He asked nervously. So, I did get drunk last night.
“Why the fuck are you in my room Jack?” I asked confused, what's going on here.
“We aren't in your room Alex.” He said, looking away from me. Like he didn't want to tell me where we really were.
“What do you m- OWW! WHAT THE FUCK?!” I yelled. Just then. I remembered everything. I got into another fight with Lisa, but this time it was a hell of a lot worse then all the others. It's never been that bad before. Wait, that means I'm in the hospital!
“Lex what's wrong?!” He asked in clear panic. As soon as the words escaped his lips several nurses came running in, pushing him out of the way.
“Jack, don't leave me!” I whimpered. I didn't want to be alone. I knew I was in a place while I was unconscious that I had mixed feelings about. I'm not sure rather or not I want to go back or not.
“I won't, Lex, I promise.” He promised me. The nurses were too close to me that he couldn't get any closer then being pushed up against a wall. I never let my eyes leave his. I didn't want to focus on what the nurses are doing to me right now.
As the nurses were leaving, they were talking about their weekend. While I was just thinking about Jack's eyes as I fight to keep mine open. But I didn't win. My eyes closed and everything became fuzzy again. I'm really starting to hate that feeling.
The only thing I remember feeling was lips on my forehead leave quickly after I moved slightly. Was it Lisa? “Lis...” I muttered but thinking back to the lips. They were different then Lisa's. Fighting the sleep that calls me, I turned over, not feeling pain because of probably pain killers. “Jack...” It was barely a whisper.
“Hey Lexy-Smexy.” He gave me a weak smile.
I studied him for a second or so, my eyes narrowed. His faking the smile and he knows I know it. “What's wrong?” I asked, tilting my head to the side before groaning and fixing it so I don't feel any pain, I guess the pain killers aren't totally in affect yet.
“Nothing, just...you know...worrying bout my best friend and trying to think of a way to kill his girlfriend without leaving any evidence that it was me.” He winked at me.
I chuckled slightly before groaning again, damn pain killers need to kick in. “Oww, What the hell happened? I don't remember anything. Just that we were having practice and Lisa came by and that we started fighting. That's it.” I squinted my eyes and started to rub my temples, trying to remember like I did when I first woke up.
He shrugged. “Dunno. I only know it was Lisa cause I saw her leaving your room when I was looking for you.” He answered me. A few things clicked then, but it wasn't totally clear yet.
I nodded to that and closed my eyes. “Fuck, I'm tired.” I complain.
He laughed. “That's good. Means the pain killers are working. I'll leave if you want to sleep some.” I offered.
My eyes go wide as I grab for his hand, ignoring the pain I feel from moving so fast, the pain killers haven't totally kicked in yet, but I can feel them start to work. “Please don't leave me, Jacky.” I begged him for the second time, that I remembered at least.
“You sure?” He asked me a little uneasily.
I only nod and continue to hold on to his hand. It comforts me as I slip off into my dreams. It was odd though. I was dreaming about Daniel and I haven't done that since about a year after he died. My dream made me remember the Daniel for that black world. That wasn't the real Daniel, so who was it? I'm not sure but at least in my dreams, I have the real one..... I think.