The Flavor Of Your Lips [4/??]
So, it's been about two hours since Jack left. I met who Dr. Burns is. I feel kind of stupid for not knowing before but I was asleep all the other times he came into my room. He said that as long as I take pain killers for my ribs, I can go home tomorrow. Which I plan on doing.
“Dear god!! I'm so fucking bored!!!” I yelled, though I knew the only people that could hear me were in the rooms next to me. Do they yell back? No, bitches.
Fuck hospital man. There's nothing good on the TVs, it smells funny and it makes me think of Daniel.
And what's up with my dreams? Are they even dreams? They seem so real. Like I'm actually talking to the Devil. Is what he said true? Is my brother really in Hell? I know in some religions, if you commit suicide, you're 'damned' to hell. But I don't believe that. I mean, if God is all loving and all. He shouldn't send people to hell for ending their lives if they didn't like how it was here on Earth.
Wow, that was really depressing. Next topic.
“Yo,” I heard a voice from the door say as the person walked in.
I looked over to see that it was Zack. “Hey dude.” I greeted him. I'm kind of shocked not to see Rian with him. “Where's Ri?” I asked him.
He took the seat where Jack was sitting in earlier. Well, that's actually the only seat in here. “He's still cleaning up the mess. You guys are going to need a lot of new stuff. I hope you didn't throw anything.” He said, slightly joking, and slightly serious.
I actually chuckled a bit. “No, I knew Rian would kick my ass if I did.”
Zack smiled a bit. “So, do you know when you get out of this hell hole?” He asked me. Probably so Matt can know when we can get back to work. I still have to write two more songs. Fuck.
“Tomorrow, but I'm going to be on pain killers. They give you a great high, you've just came as they have dulled down.” I informed him.
Zack chuckled slightly. “So, you probably won't be any use to us. Well, at least you don't have to worry about cleaning up.” He said. I could tell that he didn't know what to say.
“Yeah. So what all are we going to have to replace?” I asked him. I'm sure he knows. He's probably here to escape from Rian trying to make him help clean up.
“Umm, a few lamps, plants, glasses, the coffee table, and a lot of shit in your room.” He said as he looked around my white, boring hospital room. “So …. what's happening between you and Lisa now? She actually stopped by yesterday. It was weird. She didn't say she was sorry or anything. She just walked in and looked around. Then she muttered something when she left. Dude, she's crazy.” Zack said. I kind of know she's crazy, I mean, I am in a fucking hospital right now.
“Yeah, I know. I'm not totally sure what's going on either. She said we are going to give it another shot. I think she came here first before going back to my place I hope it works out this time. I really do love her.” I told Zack. It's kind of weird talking to Zack about this, but then again. He's the prefect person to talk to about it. Jack is off with Danny, Rian's probably pissed at me about the house, Matt's just thinking about when we'll go on tour next, and Grieco is probably … umm …. at school?
“Seriously? Wow, you must really love her. I mean, she is the reason why you're in the hospital right now. That or you're insane.” He said to me. Which actually threw me off. Is it really that crazy I still want to be with her? Actually, yes. Yes I am. Damn.
“I think it's that I'm insane.” I said then laughed with Zack.
After we were done laughing, our stomachs growled. “So, how's the food here?” Zack asked me.
“The food they give me fucking sucks. But down in the cafe I think it's better.” I told him. The food they gave me is suppose to be 'good' for me, but they suck. Mainly just because they only choices that they gave me suck ass.
Zack just chuckled. “What do you want? I'll sneak it up here for you.” He said.
“Umm,” I paused for a moment to think. “MILANO'S!!!! And gummy worms.” I said and laughed.
Zack laughed. “Would you like actual food with that?” He asked and I just shook my head. “Okay, I'll be back soon then.” And with that, Zack left the room.
I can't believe I've never noticed how cool of a guy Zack is. Seriously, I think we are going to start hanging out more. Maybe even get him to teach me how to skate. Then he won't be the only one that can do a kick flip in the band! Sweetness.
Though, waiting for Zack to get back really sucks. I hate being alone in the hospital. It makes me think of my dreams. The one with the Devil in them. It's almost as if whenever I'm alone, the room gets darker and I become more numb, just like in the dream. I mean, I don't mind the fact of not feeling pain. But the fact, I'm totally numb. I can't feel anything on my body.
I wish Jack was here. I really don't like the fact that he's with Danny right now. I don't like the fact that Danny is trying to be like how Jack and I are. With our little bromance. That, and Jack always have Danny over and not me anymore. What can they possible be doing that Jack can't do with me.
Wait, am I jealous? No, of course not! I mean, it's not like I like Jack that way. Though my high mind thinks other wise. I mean, Jack is good looking and all but …. umm... damn.
“Fuck! I think I'm bi!!” I yelled just as Zack walked in. He gave me a weird looked as he just stood there.
“SHUT THE FUCK UP!! I'M TIRED OF HEARING YOU YELLING ALL DAY!!” Someone from the room behind me yelled.
I just ignored him as I looked at Zack. Yeah, I'm going to have to explain something. “Umm …. got my Milano's?” I asked him.
Zack started moving again. He threw me my bag of Milano's and gummy worms. “I also got you a Cola. So, umm … what the hell was that about?” He asked me.
I already had a Milano in my mouth. “Well umm,” I waited till I finished the Milano to continue. “I think I may be bi for Jack.” I admitted.
“Wait, you mean you weren't before?!” Zack exclaimed.
Wow, that's lovely. He thought I was bi before I was actually bi. Or was I before and just not know it? Ahh, I need to stop thinking so much!!
“Um, no. I don't think I was before.” I said.
After that, Zack change the subject to something else. Though we did go back to Jack a few times. We just mainly talked about skating, since I told him I wanted to learn how to.