BFS ENTRY: A Nice Symbol of the Relationship (PG-13; Severus, his parents, his teachers)

[sev_shorts_mod]

Title: A Nice Symbol of the Relationship
Category: Two (11- to 20-years-old)
Characters: Severus, his parents, his teachers
Author: florahart
Beta Reader: inell
Rating: PG-13
(Highlight to View) Warning(s): Domestic violence, unwilling pregnancy.
Word Count: 4700
Author's Note: It is Severus's birthday; however, celebration didn't turn out to have much bearing

Comments

[iulia_linnea]

Oh, this is ouchy, but it's incredibly intriguing as well; I couldn't stop reading it.

[florahart]

:) Thanks. I'm glad it worked.

Rambly comment is rambly

[perverse_idyll]

Okay, this is brilliant and I am gullible, or maybe I just fell head-over-heels into your net. I absolutely adore your Severus - the way he thinks his way through everything, step by step, checking to be sure he's being reasonable, using efforts at detachment to convince himself he's right. Deceiving himself, and being led into error by the deep, simmering, bitter emotions that underlie every word of this fic. It's even more painful that he should finally unburden himself to the most amoral teacher in Hogwarts, because some part of him had known that the professors he wanted to turn to would probably thwart his plans

Rest of the ramble

[perverse_idyll]

He expected nothing less, but this didn't make being faced with the actuality feel entirely good … Severus scowled harder. He hated being patronized. Even when he asked to be. This whole scene of the birth announcement is so emotionally pressed down, distracted from actual feeling, focussed only on the things that Severus allows himself because he knows how to deal with them, that it reeks of sadness and bad examples. (Curse you, Slughorn, you idiot.) This is where the fic really starts to hurt, because with this scene it's clear that everything Severus does from this point on, whatever else happens and to whom, it will damage him. He's about to make a fatal mistake, and you're so good at showing us why fatal mistakes are part of this boy's repertoire and always will be.

just as clearly (his father) had pretended they had no other child … He expected nothing less, but this didn't make being faced with the actuality feel entirely good. I don't, on principle, hate Tobias, but in this fic I do. The convoluted sentence structure - "didn'

Re: Rest of the ramble

[florahart]

If either this comm or your journal had allowed anon comments, I'd have said before: good lord don't ever worry about rambling.

*hugs comment repeatedly*

[alisanne]

Oh my. How chilling.
You really led me down the garden path here. *shivers*
Well done!

[florahart]

Thanks. :)

[entrenous88]

Very intense and quietly horrifying -- I'll remember this one.

[florahart]

Thank you.

[nimrod_9]

Wow! So twisted and tragic and scary!

[florahart]

Glad to ...entertain? :)

[nimrod_9]

entertained? Yeah...it kept me reading!! Thanks for sharing it!!