A short Firefly fic
Written for cruelest_month over AIM. Inspired by one of the made-up bad fic summaries. I realize I can't say which one or it'll spoil the fic a bit. A silly little thing with Mal, Simon, and Jayne.
Title: Midnight Snack
Fandom: Firefly
Rating: PG (mild swearing, threats of violence)
Pairing: None. (OMG Sev writes Gen!)
Word COunt: 1202
Summary: Mal's having trouble sleeping. (Also, I apologize for any late-night excessive punctuation use)
It was already 3 AM ship-time. It'd been a long day. Hell, it'd been a long week, with three more days before Serenity reached her next destination. Ever since the incident with everyone almost freezing to death, Kaylee was paranoid. At the slightest jiggle or rattle she came running to him to report it. "Long as nothin's explodin' we'll be shiny," he tried to tell her every time. But Kaylee still worried.
River spent the majority of the time lucid as a crazy-girl could get, and docile. But just as Mal was thinking on getting some shut eye, one foot on the wrung to the ladder to his bunk, she tore down the hallway screaming, brother not far after. Turned out she was playing with her wobbly-headed Geisha doll when its oversized cranium snapped off. River snapped with it. It took hours for Simon to catch her, Mal and Jayne to hold her. Then Preacher and Kaylee to reassure her they can fix it.
Mal watched Simon tuck the finally quiet River into bed. He couldn't hear what the Doc was whispering to her as he bent over and brushed hair off her forehead. But Mal reckoned it was more promises of things getting better, and for hope. Probably also telling her what a sweet and beautiful sister she was. Mal didn't know what he thought of the latter, but he wondered if Simon realized just how empty the former gets sounding the more he said it.
Simon slid the door close behind him when he came out of her room. "She going to be okay?"
Simon nodded. "She should sleep for a full eight hours."
"Well, she's deprived me of my full eight. So you better be sure I ain't gonna be woken up by screaming teenager again, or else I'll just have Jayne knock her out."
Simon made his sour face. "I'll keep that in mind, Captain. Now if you'll excuse me.”
Simon brushed past him. Mal gave the door to River's room one last look, then retired to his own bunk. He tried to sleep. Really hard he tried. But it wasn't working. Stupid things kept his mind working. And not so stupid things. Like thinking how little work they'd been getting lately. Like the way Inara hadn't been talking to him. Or did that go under the stupid things? He wasn't sure anymore.
Mal sighed, rolled off the bed, and hoisted his pants on. In circumstances like these nothing was better than to go back the remedy his Ma used: A warm glass of milk. Mal was pretty sure they had some milk. Guess it was time to find out for sure. The galley lights were still on. Turned out Simon was in there. So was Jayne. It amazed Mal the two of them were in the same room alone and Simon wasn't dead. Upon actually entering the room, he realized the truth of it: both were pretending the other wasn't there.
Simon was sitting at the table, picking at a piece of bread what looked like he'd been picking at it for a while. There were more crumbs on the table than actual bread left in Simon's hand. Jayne was opening and closing all the cupboards; one by one looking for God knew what. "Doc, Jayne." Mal greeted.
"Captain."
Jayne just grunted.
Mal went to cupboards to start his own search. Jayne, disgruntled at his lack of success moved away and crossed the room to the other wall of small doors. Doing so he passed behind Simon. Mal caught the Doc's face screw up, and then sniff. Mal sniffed the air himself. Nothing seemed too offensive, not even having just been standing next to Jayne. Ah well, Doc probably had fancier nostrils than the rest of them.
"Jayne, did you see if we had any milk?"
"Nope," Jayne said, latching another door.
Mal wasn't going to take Jayne's word for it. He was either lying, or just the fact the milk wasn't what he was looking for when he saw it, he let it pass from all memory. The opening and closing of the doors the way Jayne was doing it, was almost rhythmic like a steady beat, and it was getting on Mal's nerves. Just like Simon still sniffing. Doc frowned and sniffed his piece of bread.
"Jayne, what the hell are you looking for anyway?"
"Somethin'."
Great. "Jayne, maybe if you just shared, we could all help."
"Ain't nothin'."
"Maybe he's realized he's lost his mind."
Mal laughed.
"Well, then maybe we'd find lil' sister's brain in here, too." Simon's face went sour again. Mal laughed again. Damn, he must be sleep deprived if he was finding Jayne and Simon's childish retorts funny.
"Wait, I know!" Simon's eyes went wide with revelation. "It's your blanky and you can't sleep with out it."
"No, I don't think so, Doc. Jayne sleeps clinging to Vera."
"Both of you can shut your gorram mouths, or I'll shut them permanently."
Eh. The teasing Jayne game was getting boring anyway. So Mal went back to his milk search. Simon went back to his bread, and after a few seconds, his sniffing. "Will you stop that?" Mal snapped.
"What?"
"That sniffing. It's making me edgy."
"Sorry. It's just. Something smells...weird...not weird, but off, as in different."
Mal sniffed himself. Seemed normal to him. He shrugged. "Jayne, when's the last time you showered?"
Jayne sighed like a man who'd heard that question far too often. "I just did, Mal. Had to after that wrastlin' match with Crazy over her stupid doll."
Simon stopped picking his bread, dropping it all together. He got up and headed towards Jayne. Jayne backed-up a couple steps, watching Simon warily, anticipating some sort of physical retaliation for the crazy comment. Simon leaned very close to him. Mal took a couple steps forward himself in case he had to break things up. But Simon just took a really long inhale. Jayne looked up at Mal, face all twisted in confusion. But then, Mal suppose his own face was too.
"My God, thats it!" Simon exclaimed. "Jayne, you...you...you smell nice." He looked up at Jayne in wonder.
Jayne pushed Simon away from him. "'Spose I ought to, Doc. Hell, it's your soap."
With that remark, Jayne smirked at Mal and left the room. Simon stood, mouth open for a full three seconds before his whole body shuddered and shouted after the merc, "YOU WHAT?!" Jayne's chuckle came from the corridor to the bunks. Simon ran after him, already yelling at him about using things that weren't his, especially things that had touched naked skin. Mal gave his own shudder at the thought. He opened another cupboard and grinned. There like a glimmering beacon of hope was their last bottle of milk. He started the stove.
Jayne started yelling at Simon that getting angry with him for being clean was contradictory (not the word Jayne used, but Mal got the idea). The next voice that shouted was Zoe's. "You shut up before I shoot you. Some people 'round hear are trying to sleep!"
Mal didn't care none for prayer no more, but he couldn't stop smirking, thinking to himself, "Amen."
THE END
If you honestly (and I kow you don't) want to know which of the badfic summaries this was inspired by:
X-files
Knowle takes a shower, Doggett eats some bread. Will Mulder
ever get any sleep?
To my shame, I wrote that badfic for April. No, you do not get to see it. But we then decided what other fandoms we could write fics for using the same premise. So we got
Jayne takes a shower, Simon eats some bread. Will Mal ever get any sleep?
yeah. I know. It's all a bit horrible.
Title: Midnight Snack
Fandom: Firefly
Rating: PG (mild swearing, threats of violence)
Pairing: None. (OMG Sev writes Gen!)
Word COunt: 1202
Summary: Mal's having trouble sleeping. (Also, I apologize for any late-night excessive punctuation use)
It was already 3 AM ship-time. It'd been a long day. Hell, it'd been a long week, with three more days before Serenity reached her next destination. Ever since the incident with everyone almost freezing to death, Kaylee was paranoid. At the slightest jiggle or rattle she came running to him to report it. "Long as nothin's explodin' we'll be shiny," he tried to tell her every time. But Kaylee still worried.
River spent the majority of the time lucid as a crazy-girl could get, and docile. But just as Mal was thinking on getting some shut eye, one foot on the wrung to the ladder to his bunk, she tore down the hallway screaming, brother not far after. Turned out she was playing with her wobbly-headed Geisha doll when its oversized cranium snapped off. River snapped with it. It took hours for Simon to catch her, Mal and Jayne to hold her. Then Preacher and Kaylee to reassure her they can fix it.
Mal watched Simon tuck the finally quiet River into bed. He couldn't hear what the Doc was whispering to her as he bent over and brushed hair off her forehead. But Mal reckoned it was more promises of things getting better, and for hope. Probably also telling her what a sweet and beautiful sister she was. Mal didn't know what he thought of the latter, but he wondered if Simon realized just how empty the former gets sounding the more he said it.
Simon slid the door close behind him when he came out of her room. "She going to be okay?"
Simon nodded. "She should sleep for a full eight hours."
"Well, she's deprived me of my full eight. So you better be sure I ain't gonna be woken up by screaming teenager again, or else I'll just have Jayne knock her out."
Simon made his sour face. "I'll keep that in mind, Captain. Now if you'll excuse me.”
Simon brushed past him. Mal gave the door to River's room one last look, then retired to his own bunk. He tried to sleep. Really hard he tried. But it wasn't working. Stupid things kept his mind working. And not so stupid things. Like thinking how little work they'd been getting lately. Like the way Inara hadn't been talking to him. Or did that go under the stupid things? He wasn't sure anymore.
Mal sighed, rolled off the bed, and hoisted his pants on. In circumstances like these nothing was better than to go back the remedy his Ma used: A warm glass of milk. Mal was pretty sure they had some milk. Guess it was time to find out for sure. The galley lights were still on. Turned out Simon was in there. So was Jayne. It amazed Mal the two of them were in the same room alone and Simon wasn't dead. Upon actually entering the room, he realized the truth of it: both were pretending the other wasn't there.
Simon was sitting at the table, picking at a piece of bread what looked like he'd been picking at it for a while. There were more crumbs on the table than actual bread left in Simon's hand. Jayne was opening and closing all the cupboards; one by one looking for God knew what. "Doc, Jayne." Mal greeted.
"Captain."
Jayne just grunted.
Mal went to cupboards to start his own search. Jayne, disgruntled at his lack of success moved away and crossed the room to the other wall of small doors. Doing so he passed behind Simon. Mal caught the Doc's face screw up, and then sniff. Mal sniffed the air himself. Nothing seemed too offensive, not even having just been standing next to Jayne. Ah well, Doc probably had fancier nostrils than the rest of them.
"Jayne, did you see if we had any milk?"
"Nope," Jayne said, latching another door.
Mal wasn't going to take Jayne's word for it. He was either lying, or just the fact the milk wasn't what he was looking for when he saw it, he let it pass from all memory. The opening and closing of the doors the way Jayne was doing it, was almost rhythmic like a steady beat, and it was getting on Mal's nerves. Just like Simon still sniffing. Doc frowned and sniffed his piece of bread.
"Jayne, what the hell are you looking for anyway?"
"Somethin'."
Great. "Jayne, maybe if you just shared, we could all help."
"Ain't nothin'."
"Maybe he's realized he's lost his mind."
Mal laughed.
"Well, then maybe we'd find lil' sister's brain in here, too." Simon's face went sour again. Mal laughed again. Damn, he must be sleep deprived if he was finding Jayne and Simon's childish retorts funny.
"Wait, I know!" Simon's eyes went wide with revelation. "It's your blanky and you can't sleep with out it."
"No, I don't think so, Doc. Jayne sleeps clinging to Vera."
"Both of you can shut your gorram mouths, or I'll shut them permanently."
Eh. The teasing Jayne game was getting boring anyway. So Mal went back to his milk search. Simon went back to his bread, and after a few seconds, his sniffing. "Will you stop that?" Mal snapped.
"What?"
"That sniffing. It's making me edgy."
"Sorry. It's just. Something smells...weird...not weird, but off, as in different."
Mal sniffed himself. Seemed normal to him. He shrugged. "Jayne, when's the last time you showered?"
Jayne sighed like a man who'd heard that question far too often. "I just did, Mal. Had to after that wrastlin' match with Crazy over her stupid doll."
Simon stopped picking his bread, dropping it all together. He got up and headed towards Jayne. Jayne backed-up a couple steps, watching Simon warily, anticipating some sort of physical retaliation for the crazy comment. Simon leaned very close to him. Mal took a couple steps forward himself in case he had to break things up. But Simon just took a really long inhale. Jayne looked up at Mal, face all twisted in confusion. But then, Mal suppose his own face was too.
"My God, thats it!" Simon exclaimed. "Jayne, you...you...you smell nice." He looked up at Jayne in wonder.
Jayne pushed Simon away from him. "'Spose I ought to, Doc. Hell, it's your soap."
With that remark, Jayne smirked at Mal and left the room. Simon stood, mouth open for a full three seconds before his whole body shuddered and shouted after the merc, "YOU WHAT?!" Jayne's chuckle came from the corridor to the bunks. Simon ran after him, already yelling at him about using things that weren't his, especially things that had touched naked skin. Mal gave his own shudder at the thought. He opened another cupboard and grinned. There like a glimmering beacon of hope was their last bottle of milk. He started the stove.
Jayne started yelling at Simon that getting angry with him for being clean was contradictory (not the word Jayne used, but Mal got the idea). The next voice that shouted was Zoe's. "You shut up before I shoot you. Some people 'round hear are trying to sleep!"
Mal didn't care none for prayer no more, but he couldn't stop smirking, thinking to himself, "Amen."
THE END
If you honestly (and I kow you don't) want to know which of the badfic summaries this was inspired by:
X-files
Knowle takes a shower, Doggett eats some bread. Will Mulder
ever get any sleep?
To my shame, I wrote that badfic for April. No, you do not get to see it. But we then decided what other fandoms we could write fics for using the same premise. So we got
Jayne takes a shower, Simon eats some bread. Will Mal ever get any sleep?
yeah. I know. It's all a bit horrible.